I made a commitment a few days ago which might come back to haunt me. Toney started a new schedule at her job, which requires her to work on Saturdays. She’s never really worked on weekends, so it’s going to be weird. But I told her I’d cook dinner that night — just blurted it right out there — and she happily accepted the offer.
The problem? I can’t cook, at all. Back during a previous lifetime I would sometimes take a stab at breakfast, and it was usually semi-successful. But I don’t know how to cook dinners. Toney got rid of our grill a few weeks ago, because it was rusting out, so I can’t even resort to burgers on the deck. I think I might’ve made a tactical error…
I’m going to give it a shot, though. I’m going to prepare dinner, and have a six-pack of some sort o’ microbrew in the fridge, every Saturday night. Try to turn a negative into a positive. If you guys have any suggestions for good, but SUPER-easy things to cook, please help me out. I’ll be driving back from West Virginia this coming Saturday, but will be starting down the slippery slope of tears, profanity, and “Oh my god, somebody call 911!!” the following weekend. Help me out, won’t you?
The rules: normal stuff (no fancy-ass boolshit), a minimal number of ingredients, and directions that even I can follow. What would you suggest? And I’m serious when I say it’s gotta be simple. It’s going to be like Karl Childers competing on Chopped.
Any suggestions for me? Please use the comments link below.
How are your cooking skills? How did you learn? Did somebody teach you, or did you figure it out via trial and error? Also, any tales of cooking disaster? If so, please share those as well.
And I need to go to work. I feel weird today, physically weird. Hopefully I’m not moving toward the light. I’ll be back tomorrow, I hope.
In case you missed it, we’re doing a roundup of Donnas here. Also, Kevins. So, if you know any Donnas or Kevins, please tell us all about ’em.
Have a great day, my friends.
Now playing in the bunker
Use the Surf Report’s webhost: HostGator!
Stephanie C says
Is anyone other than me wondering what Jeff will be making for dinner and if he is going with one of the recipes listed here?
I do. And don’t think we’re out of line to expect a Sunday afternoon update on this topic.
Stephanie C says
2# chipped,chopped ham from deli,the cheap kind, this may just be a wv item
1 medium chopped onion, or some dehyrated onion flakes
1 bottle bbq sauce
dump chipped/chopped ham on chopping board
cut thru the heap of meat with knife few times, do not chop too fine
put everything in crockpot on low for 2 hours or so
serve on hamburger bun
makes redneck pulled pork
when all else fails
get can of Manwich,hamburger, follow directions on can and potato chips for supper
Start real easy, and work your way up.
Since your always saying you are in the Perogie belt, go find a local deli that sells frozen trays of perogies, buy one, pop in the oven on your day, and serve with some sourkraut. Nice and simple. Whip up one of your green salads if your so inclined. As a matter of fact, one of your green salads will work for each of your cooking days.
Get some pre-cooked brats at the grocer (yeah yeah, sacreligeous to get precooked, but for the sake of speeding things up pre-cooked works for me when I just want to get it done. Add some veg of your choice. If you are in a hurry, canned works, dice up an onion or two and get it softened, add your canned veg, some pepper and your off to the races.
Got a toaster oven? Works great for whipping up a batch of just about anything. (ie: the brats, chicken) or warming up left overs. Just place it in and just monitor its progress, don’t bother flipping shit over. Since your working larger quantities, the oven might be more appropriate.
Then just mix ‘n match, and get more creative.
And go to your netflix and watch Alton Brown’s ‘Good Eats’. Can’t recall any other cooking shows right now that where of the ‘just whip it together, amounts don’t really matter’ style, they’ve been off the air for a while, but those probably got me hooked on actually cooking, and just going with what “feels” right.
Rat Bastard says
Chili can start wars, as noted above, and most online recipes will make a newbie think that it is rocket science. Go and pick up 1lb of ground beef, an onion and a packet of Carroll Shelby’s Chili Mix, or the 3-Alarm Chili kit. Easy as hell. Brown the onion and beef, drain most of the fat (NOT in yer kitchen sink) and follow the kit directions. Pretty decent stuff, compared to the “chili” that they served to us in public schools.
Rat Bastard says
…and use beer instead of water, and maybe throw in a small can of tomato sauce.
Nobody has yet said what kind of beer, so I will. Industrial light lager, Bud or similar. If you use a beer that has any hops to speak of, it will cook up bitter. Been there, done that.
The best thing to make for dinner on Saturday night: Reservations.
Sort of about cooking but not really.
How is anal sex different than a microwave
A microwave won’t brown your meat!
Damn, T-Storm! I have water dripping down my chin now, htnakyouverymuch.