over
the fence vs. through the gate redux
by Will |
Finding
WVSR readers to be a a receptive and thoughtful bunch, as well as a
representative sample of the American population, I was frankly taken
aback by your comments. I'd like to share with you just a few
reasons why I find your tendency toward fence hopping problematic. The
adult angle: Surely
we all remember the very first years of grammar school. There was
always that kid in the boys' room who still dropped complete trou’ at
the urinal, nursery school style, not quite hip to the more advanced
forms of bathroom etiquette. While I’m sure you over-the-fencers
don’t flaunt it, you are, in my view, perhaps repressed (abbreviated?)
fanny flashers who need to feel the nakedness of your infancy in order
to pee. Without hesitation, I declare this creepy. Spurning
garment evolution: What
lessons, fence jumpers, haven’t you gleaned from the Industrial
Revolution? Little immigrant kids died in gigantic looms so
that we might eventually enjoy such things as Velcro, zippers,
distressed denim, and, yes, the little slot-flaps at the front of our
boxers, briefs, and boxer/briefs. Eschewing this tool is like
opting to eat with your elbows when a perfectly good set of fingers is,
um, at hand. It's simple: unzip, extract, whiz, give a little
shake, replace. Think of the many extra steps-- not to
mention the yanking and bending--required of the alternate method.
This is strongly connected to my third point:
In
conclusion If
the New York Times is even slightly accurate regarding the casual
attire of That
said, I would hope that you consider some of my points carefully.
It isn't too late to "look to the gate," to understand
how man and nature have so beautifully conspired to help us on our way. Stop
being terrible people. -Will |
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