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Our Summer Travel Plans, and the Buck Manifesto

March 15, 2011 By Jeff 126 Comments

I’m short on time here, and this one is going to be outrageously abbreviated, like these guys.

Toney and I are assessing the situation, and trying to decide whether or not to book a week in Myrtle Beach for the summer.  Money isn’t as tight as it was six months ago, but we’re still not the Vanderbilts over here, and don’t want to throw ourselves into a crisis situation again.

It sucks that we’re forced to set up a freaking Manhattan Project to weigh the pros and cons of a beach vacation, but there you go.

Both of us are craving a touristy time at a Southern beach, with lots of activity and wildness and community fish fries with beer.  Myrtle Beach is just the ticket, but it would cost a significant amount of cash.  So, we’re hemming and hawing on the issue.

And just for the record:  I’m not really a beach kinda guy.  I don’t generally like high heat, and sand.  I can take a short stroll by the water, fully clothed, and come home with sand wedged in my crack and peehole.  I don’t understand how it happens, and am not a fan.

However… I LOVE the beach at night.  There’s nothing better than sitting beside the ocean after dark, with a cooler full o’ the beverages, just staring straight out.  Man, that’s the best.  All my troubles disappear, and they’re replaced by positive thoughts and clarity.  It’s awesome.

Myrtle Beach is a rockin’ good time, despite its reputation for being a tourist trap.  We always have fun, and that’s what it’s about, right?  Hopefully we can work it out this year.

What are your travel plans for the summer?  Do you have anything lined-up?  Please tell us about ’em in the comments.  I need to live vicariously through you guys.

And now I’m gonna let our old pal Buck take up my slack, with an ultra-rare update from the holler.  Apparently yesterday’s post about Nancy set him off, and he’s issued a manifesto.  Right here.

See you guys again tomorrow.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker

Treat yourself today at Amazon!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jerry in WV says

    March 15, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    First!

    Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      March 15, 2011 at 1:34 pm

      Attention whore !

      Reply
      • Jerry in WV says

        March 15, 2011 at 3:00 pm

        You know me! That why I wear all the flashy clothes and jewelry!

        Reply
  2. Joey Jo Jo says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Thirteen days vacation starts today! Vodka, Gatorade, and liverwurst sandwiches for breakfast!

    Reply
  3. cashoe says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Jeff- go to the beach, you need to decompress a bit.

    Bravo Buck!

    Love the part about the deer, Jeff should have you set him up with one net time N & N are in town…

    Reply
  4. cashoe says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    Next, not net.

    dang fat fingers….

    Reply
  5. fryguy says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Vacation? What the hell is a vacation? Consider yourself lucky if you get to take a vacation and enjoy it wherever you go. My son just called a few weeks ago and told me I am going to be a grandfather again so my vacation this year will be another trip back to Indiana.

    Way to go Buck! I agree 100%!!!

    Reply
  6. big bear in OH says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Buck is like blue collar Jesus. I approve of this beach trip because of the sheer amount of Jeff Kay worthy comic material.

    Reply
  7. dogberryjr says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Summer plans: Nine credit hours interrupted by regular bouts of grass cutting and mosquito slapping. Yeah, I’m living the dream.

    Reply
  8. hardoxdan says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    I think me and Buck must be related somehow. Of course, I am originally a Wellsburg, West Virginia boy, so we think the same.

    I get along with all of my neighbors except the ones who have pissed me off resulting in me telling them to F**k off. Normally, they don’t bother to come around any more once they get a good dose.

    I vote yes on Myrtle Beach (Redneck Riviera).

    Reply
  9. Jason says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    I share Buck’s disdain for them and agreed with his manifesto. Vacations? Oh God, I don’t know. We go down to the beach in Florida now and then. We have a condo in Seaside. But we don’t use it much. We plan to give it a go in about 3 weeks.

    Reply
  10. clintcurtis says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    I am not a fan of tourist traps, but I really do LOVE Myrtle Beach. The place just revels in kitsch, and is totally unashamed of it. My 1987 vacation there was the high mark that I judge all subsequent vacations by.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      March 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm

      I used to spend a couple weeks in the Cherry Grove section of Myrtle every summer. The first few years were great…just funky ocean front houses. Now it’s all condos. Still…it’s the beach and there is nothing like watching a storm out over the ocean at night. There was a general store there and I got to talking to the owner who told me he Wintered in the Bahamas. Must be nice. I ‘Winter’ in snow, ice, mud and flood waters. I’m doing it wrong I guess.

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        March 16, 2011 at 9:16 am

        Myrtle Beach was special to me because, originaly being from tihe West Coast, it was the first time I actually stepped into the ocean and it was warm!
        …as for me now, I “Fall, Winter, and Spring in “Winter, lol! But the Iditarod Sled Dog Race is in full swing right now, we haven’t seen a blizzard for a couple weeks….and we’re almost up to 12 hours of sunlight each day! Like my friend in St. Marys, WV used to say, “Man, I’m shittin’ in high cotton!”

        Reply
  11. Bill in WV says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    Buck, I would only add “And another thing, we ain’t related like you and the Kays, so all bets are off on how I settle my neighbor disputes”.

    Reply
  12. bikerchick says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    JEEZ!! I have had a hell of a time trying to get onto this site the last few days. Whether I googled or typed the address in the browser, I’d be “redirected” to some funky sites. WTF was up with that??? Anyone else have an ish?

    Reply
    • fryguy says

      March 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm

      you have a redirect virus. try malwarebytes

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        March 15, 2011 at 2:12 pm

        OK…I give up….what’s a mallwarebyte? I thought it might be a virus but have no clue how to fix it.

        Reply
        • dto says

          March 15, 2011 at 4:30 pm

          I have malwarebytes. Started out with the free version and then bought the full version. Love it and trust it. It works. It was recommended by a tech at Dell a couple years back when I had some major kafucks going on. Scanned and isolated viruses and the full version scans hourly or how ever you set it. I think the full version was twenty five bucks. It’s on my desktop and my laptop. I really like it.
          http://shop.malwarebytes.org/lpa/342/3/7268/index_b.html?_kk=malwarebytes&_kt=a242b45a-7b38-4f7d-b28e-ea3e0e10b55f&gclid=CJfv7r7A0acCFce7KgodEzvfGg

          Reply
          • bikerchick says

            March 16, 2011 at 8:29 am

            dto: Thank you!

            Reply
    • Ognir says

      March 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm

      The site has been taken over by the WV Militia, and another group that spends a lot of their time complaining about other people.

      Reply
  13. Lee Harvey Ramone says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Vacation? Emoticon!

    Reply
  14. Vicki says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Summer is our busy work time-60, 70, 80 hours a week. I haven’t had a summer vacation in 15 years. Besides, we can’t go anywhere–the dogs are loons–a kennel would be too much misery and we cannot trust the son to keep them at home. We’d come home to a tent city of doody piles and two schnauzers dead from lack of water.

    Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      March 15, 2011 at 10:31 pm

      2 Scheisse hunds!! cool. We have two minis.

      Reply
  15. Ron from CT says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Bravo, Buck, bravo

    Reply
  16. Joe T. says

    March 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    Spend time in our newly remodeled bathroom, while drinking beer from our new refrigerator and eating food from our new oven. That should cover where our vacation money went.

    Reply
  17. bikerchick says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    Vacation plans have changes as of this past weekend as we are the proud new owners of a 32ft. camper. And be for you retract your jaws…it has a full…FULL..batroom. Yes, that was first and foremost. I don’t poop in the woods and outhouses. I don’t do pop-ups with no running water, tents, sleeping bags on the ground….nope…phuck dat. Second…an air conditioner that blows icicle’s was high on my list. Last year at Jamboree in the Hills we slept in a borrowed Pop-up that was 100 degrees in the shade and slanted about 45 degrees or something ridiculous. It wouldn’t level. Nor could we sleep on the one end as the supports were broken. After that bullshit I said no more camping until we get a mobile mansion.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      March 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

      AWESOME, bikerchick! Good luck and good camoing!

      This will be yet another year Beloved will be bemoaning the fact we sold our boat (5 years ago). I’m surprised he hasn’t be gawking through the classifieds.

      Reply
    • TILLY says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

      Bikerchick- if you ever need help with your appliances let me know i am in the RV appliance business and i am pretty handy!!

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        March 16, 2011 at 8:31 am

        Hey, that’s pretty cool! I’ll definitely remember!

        Reply
    • TILLY says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:52 pm

      Oh and congrats!! Camping is awesome when it is done with bathrooms and air conditioning.

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        March 16, 2011 at 9:32 am

        As a veteran of my Dad and his psychotic urge to drive up the Alaska Highway in 1967 towing a trailer, an having 4 kids ride in the box of the pickup truck (under a topper), I gotta say, camping sux!
        I was back in Indiana ay my sister’s house over Christmas, and sh showed my daughters a slide sow presentation of the Alaska trip. After we left her house, we went to Chicago and saw Joffrrey perform the Nutcracker, stayed at the Drake Hotel, took a train to San Francisco and stayed at the Stanford Court (next door to the Mark Hopkins. I got a good deal on a limo from the hotel to the airport. And when we got home, my daughters asked me, “Dad, why don’t YOU ever take us camping like you got to do when you were a kid?”

        I truly did love camping when I was younger, but man, when you get to be over 50 and you can go the luxurious route without costing any more than roughing it,,,,it’s a no contest as to what I’m gonna pick!

        Reply
        • Jason says

          March 17, 2011 at 10:57 am

          We got a camper last year. Had a hell of a time finding a place to park it. Oh, there were plenty of places by the lake, but the first one I checked on wanted $10,000 down and $650 per month. I finally settled on one that cost $400 per month. I had no idea they were so expensive. With the cost of the camper included, I probably could have bought a small lake house. Oh well.

          Reply
          • chill says

            March 19, 2011 at 10:56 pm

            A buddy of mine bought a lake house recently, to use as a full-time home. I researched the place – Lake of the Woods, Virginia – and it sounds absolutely dismal to me. You have the lake, sure, but nothing else at all. But whatever floats one’s boat, so to speak.
            .

            Reply
  18. Jera says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Our summer vacation plans include the WI Dells with my entire family. As a vacation from the vacation we are then going to Destin, FL for a few days. That trip will just be me, the hubby and our kids. We are not seeing any relatives during that trip. It will be our 1st family free vacation.

    Reply
  19. madz1962 says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    We were supposed to go away this month but I’m going in for knee surgery next week (meniscus tear which I can only attribute to th constant shovelling I did this winter). If things go well and I heal in a normal time, MAYBE just frickin MAYBE The Bahamas in May. (somehting will fuck up any plans we make).

    I gave Beloved a tuna trip in Montaulk for Christmas so that should be a September trip. Notice I say SHOULD – we have a knack for something giganic to come along and fuck things up. AT least I now have all the $ tucked away for this trip.

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:04 pm

      Ah….yes….the trip to ol’ Tunatown. Your Beloved will love you even more! LOL!! I couldn’t resist! Love ya, Madz!!!

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        March 15, 2011 at 3:42 pm

        Ya know, I was going to joke about him taking a ride on the old tuna boat, but I KNEW someone in this crowd would jump all over that! Love ya back, bikerchick!

        Reply
        • dto says

          March 15, 2011 at 5:05 pm

          I was on a tuna boat once. No…come to think of it, she must have been a barge. She seemed to require a large crew and apparently it was two of the crews second ride of the day. I didn’t want to go but I thought maybe they could some help. Big mistake. All I got was crabs.

          Reply
  20. Gonad the Bavarian says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    We will be spending the July 4th week in Rodanthe, the Outer Banks, NC (OBX for you beach snobs). It’ll be the first time we’ve been there. Looks nice and not too crowded.

    Reply
    • fryguy says

      March 15, 2011 at 2:38 pm

      used to live on the OBX, you will love Rodanthe. It will be busy on the 4th and if the surf is up expect lots of surfers! enjoy!

      Reply
  21. Susan says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    I’m afraid to use vacation time, ’cause if something happens at work wherein I don’t work, I need the payout and am stocking up on avaiable funds now! My company might be moving, adding on addt’l 30 miles one way and if you’re familiar with D.C. Beltway/Northern Virginia traffice from, it’s not gonna happen!
    There are some nice beaches without allot of high rises and city-atmosphere along the North Carolina coast though, all below Hattaras (Emerald Isle, Topsail, Surf City).
    Susan

    Reply
    • chill says

      March 15, 2011 at 5:38 pm

      I’ve lived in NoVa/DC for over 20 years. An extra 30 miles might be OK, for the right job, depending on which direction it was. And I’ve never understood why anyone would suffer through Bay Bridge traffic on a summer weekend, only to suffer back for the return trip Sunday night.
      .

      Reply
      • Susan says

        March 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

        Chill, It would be from Mt. Airy, MD to Reston. Haven’t been to Eastern shore lately, but we’d usually leave off-peak times (NOT a Friday night, nor return on Sunday). It just keeps getting more hideous around here!

        Reply
  22. Monica says

    March 15, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    I was planning on going to Cedar Point, Ohio to ride some roller coasters this summer – it’s on my bucket list as something I really, really intend to do before I kick it. Unfortunately I just found out the stork will be visiting me in the fall…damn stork. Now I can’t ride coasters with reckless abandon.
    And for the record, when a doctor tells you that something is “completely impossible” what they really mean to say is that it’s “highly improbable.” A 1-in-a-billion chance still happens sometimes…dammit. I should have played the lottery instead.

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:06 pm

      Well, I think that’s even more exciting! Congratulations!

      Reply
    • TILLY says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:55 pm

      congrats!!! if you would like to donate said gift from stork i would be hapy to help you out. LOL

      Reply
    • madz1962 says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm

      Aww Monica – happy news! Congratulations.

      Reply
    • Monica says

      March 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm

      Thanks all! It really is good news, even if I’m missing my beloved roller coasters (and alcohol, caffeine, sushi, lunch meat, and intestinal fortitude) right now.

      Reply
  23. Alex says

    March 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    Right on Buck!

    Reply
  24. Henderson says

    March 15, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Buck,

    You’re mostly right, but…. freedom is the distance between your fist and your neighbor’s nose. If you’re free to affect the area past the end of your arm’s reach, I’m free to make sure you pull back a stub.

    Living with others is tough enough. Assholes can hide behind hedges and they can also hide behind an American flag.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      March 15, 2011 at 4:06 pm

      Here we go…

      Reply
      • Henderson says

        March 15, 2011 at 4:57 pm

        Probably not…..

        Reply
    • Buck says

      March 16, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Lighten up Francis…..

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        March 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

        My name is Psycho, if anyone calls me Francis, I’ll kill ’em!

        Buck, I hope you recent posting from the Holler is the first of many more FREQUENT postings. Man, I sure do miss your stuff!

        Reply
  25. Melissa says

    March 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    What is this word “Va-ca-tion” you speak of? Never heard of it.
    Ever since I bought the house it has been determined that if I do take any “va-ca-tion” time it will be spent in line at the Home Depot buying lumber and whatnot trying to get everything fixed up. Needless to say, I’d rather be at work.
    We used to go to San Francisco every year for my BDay in June, but, alas, we haven’t been able to go in three years and that just bites. I miss it terribly & hope that someday soon we can get away, if only for a weekend. But, money is so incredibly tight that I don’t see it happening.

    Who said owning a house is a good thing? So far it’s been nothing but a money pit and a soul crusher.

    Reply
  26. johnthebasket says

    March 15, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    “As I walk through
    This wicked world
    Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.
    I ask myself
    Is all hope lost?
    Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

    And each time I feel like this inside,
    There’s one thing I wanna know:
    What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding?
    What’s so funny ’bout peace love and understanding?”

    .
    jtb

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      March 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm

      Thanks, jtb, for these awesome lyrics. I love Elvis Costello.

      Reply
      • Jeff says

        March 15, 2011 at 5:22 pm

        Elvis C made it famous but Nick Lowe wrote it. Just to be all music nerd about it…

        Reply
        • Knucklehead says

          March 16, 2011 at 1:33 am

          You took the words right outta my mouth, Jeff.

          Reply
  27. TILLY says

    March 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Buck – I think you are inspired. I think I may love you. I wish more people would mind their damn business.

    Reply
  28. Seanette says

    March 15, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    My DH hates travel, so our vacations are of the “stay at home and vegetate” variety. Easier on the budget anyway, and I’d rather direct our money toward something lasting rather than “experiences” or “memories”. (Hoping for upgrades on the living room furniture this year.)

    It’s occurred to me that people like Nancy are pretty counter-productive to their “causes”. I’m participating in “Eat an animal for PETA day” because those people annoy me so much. So far, three different species of animal have found their way to my stomach today. 😉

    Reply
    • Gretchen says

      March 15, 2011 at 8:07 pm

      I had a sirloin steak all covered in chive butter today. And two mojitos. It was like a mini vacation.

      Reply
      • chill says

        March 15, 2011 at 8:11 pm

        Compound butter is so good, and stupid easy. I have a piece of garlic-lemon-rosemary butter in the fridge, awaiting the Next Steak. Mmm, beef and butter.
        .

        Reply
        • Gretchen says

          March 15, 2011 at 8:21 pm

          I KNOW! If I ever get to heaven (questionable) the joint better be well stocked with buttered up steak and crab legs. And copious amounts of rum.

          Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      March 17, 2011 at 5:19 am

      Seanette…

      I’m really slow with the acronyms and new inventions; Bikerchick and others are helping me understand the world of jackrabbits and bo-dee-o-does, but I’m a slow learner. So…

      Is it possible that you live with a Designated Hitter?

      I’m just wondering.

      jtb

      Reply
      • Seanette says

        March 17, 2011 at 5:24 am

        No, DH is my husband. The “D” can be anything from “darling” on down the scale, depending on where I am in my cycle and just how boneheaded he’s been lately. 🙂

        Reply
  29. t-storm says

    March 15, 2011 at 4:45 pm

    Vacation in 2 weeks, back to the sunny beaches of Newport Kentucky for Cincinnati Reds Opening day (On a Thursday?) and moving.

    Yes moving. As of Friday I’m a Homo(ner).

    Reply
    • Greg says

      March 15, 2011 at 6:50 pm

      In the Cincy Area?

      Reply
      • t-storm says

        March 15, 2011 at 6:56 pm

        Nope, Oklahoma City. My plan is to get back to Cincy in the next 5 yrs or so, but right now the job market just isn’t there and houses are cheap here.

        Will be travelling back to visit a bit, though.

        Reply
        • Greg says

          March 15, 2011 at 7:11 pm

          Good Luck in Oklahoma City, a few extra miles from Cincy. You know I’m in Parkersburg, and I’ll be following the Reds from a little closer venue.

          Reply
          • t-storm says

            March 15, 2011 at 7:23 pm

            I do plan on hitting a number of games this year. So far opening day and night are on the schedule and possibly some of the Cleveland and Yankees series.

            What’s stupid is that it is roughly 474 to fly from here to Cincinnati but I can fly to Parkersburg for only $70 more.

            Reply
            • Greg says

              March 15, 2011 at 7:33 pm

              Just noticed the clock on this feature is still an hour off. It hasn’t switched to DST yet.

              Reply
              • chill says

                March 15, 2011 at 7:48 pm

                It’s not a feature, it’s a bug :^P
                .

                Reply
                • Greg says

                  March 15, 2011 at 8:06 pm

                  Whatever it is, it needs to correct itself.

  30. Brittney says

    March 15, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    “And just for the record: I’m not really a beach kinda guy. I don’t generally like high heat, and sand. I can take a short stroll by the water, fully clothed, and come home with sand wedged in my crack and peehole. I don’t understand how it happens, and am not a fan.”

    This seriously made me piss!

    Reply
  31. Brittney says

    March 15, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    And summer plans so far: Hopefully going to the former Rothbury Festival which is now called the Electric Forest Festival in Rothbury Michigan to see some String Cheese Incident!!! Just found out about this today, stoked.

    http://www.electricforestfestival.com/

    Reply
    • Hashbrown says

      March 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm

      Uh, Brittney? Did you forget about FLORIDA?

      Reply
      • Brittney says

        March 15, 2011 at 7:24 pm

        Haha, no way, but this wouldn’t be until mid summer!

        Reply
  32. chill says

    March 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    I’m going up to New England for a few days for 4th of July. It’s an extended family reunion, so not really a vacation as such, but it will be good to see my cousins. Apart from that, I’ll be taking “vacation” to do some work on the house.

    It would be awesome to have some real time off some day.
    .

    Reply
  33. Gretchen says

    March 15, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    A few too-early-for-swimmin’ days in Ocean City, MD….at a librarian convention. woo-hoo. Well, at least my husband’s job will be paying for the whole thing. I think over the summer we will be trying to remodel our kitchen. woo-hoo-two.

    Reply
    • chill says

      March 15, 2011 at 8:26 pm

      I have an annual trade show (Infocomm if anyone cares). It rotates cities, and every three years it’s in Vegas. I kept trying to get the GF to come with me, but she wasn’t having any. Probably just as well.
      .

      Reply
  34. icecycle66 says

    March 15, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    About vacations, The Smoking Fish has been to 6 and 2 half MLB parks:
    Busch
    Yankee (old) ( and maybe new?)
    Progressive
    Great American
    Angel
    AT&T
    (The two halves are Mud Hens Stadium and the Tokyo Dome)
    (Honorable mention Cooperstown)

    And three major breweries:
    Guinness
    Anheiser-Busch
    Sam Adams

    Reply
    • Son of Sam says

      March 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm

      Whatever they call the one in Cleveland these days I sent pics about 6 years ago.

      Reply
      • WB in OH says

        March 16, 2011 at 1:32 pm

        Progressive Field, formerly known as Jacobs Field or the Jake. I believe t-storm and Jeff in Denver now in Cleveland, attended a well documented game there last year.

        Reply
  35. Hashbrown says

    March 15, 2011 at 10:29 pm

    I have ALWAYS wanted to go to Amsterdam. For obvious reasons.

    Reply
    • chill says

      March 15, 2011 at 10:56 pm

      Apart from the obvious reasons, Amsterdam is a beautiful city. We went there in 2002 and had a great time. Key points:

      – Don’t rent a car; it will be an expensive pain in the ass. There is no parking in the city, and the streets are narrower than the hallways in your house. You can take a train from the airport to the city, and the central city is small enough to walk. Watch out for dog shit.
      – Free booze on international flights. Air France had the cheapest fare at the time, and they give you foie gras with the coach meal. Say what you will about the French, but their food is without equal. Mmm, force-fed goose liver.
      – We went in the off-season, mid-December. Very nice, since there were no tourists and the town was all dolled up for the holidays. People were skating on the canals!
      – I can recommend the B+B that we stayed in, Sunhead of 1617 (google it). Nice folks, great location, reasonable prices.
      – Because nobody outside of Holland speaks Dutch, most people inside speak English. You’ll be fine as a tourist with only one language.
      – Cash machines in Amsterdam worked with my (US) ATM card, and they give you money in euros, which can be spent locally.
      – A good semi-local beer is DeKoninck
      – Speaking of semi-local, DeKoninck is actually Belgian (the country next door). We found ourselves constantly eating at the Belgian restaurant up the street.
      – Speaking of beer, we found ourselves often walking down the street to De Beiaard, which is a lovely beer bar convenient to the Herengracht.
      – There is a Bang+Olufsen store, for your tech-ogling enjoyment.
      .

      Reply
      • Gretchen says

        March 15, 2011 at 11:09 pm

        Shit, now I wanna go to Amsterdam. I had a chance to go when I was in Germany but I got ill that day and didn’t go. Poop!

        Reply
      • Hashbrown says

        March 16, 2011 at 11:48 am

        Wow, Chill. Thanks so much for all the helpful information! Sounds so awesome. I am definetly going to do some more research on it.

        Reply
        • Hashbrown says

          March 16, 2011 at 11:50 am

          By the way, Chill. Got any pictures?

          Reply
    • Tyrosine says

      March 16, 2011 at 2:16 pm

      Like Chill said, Amsterdam is awesome. Just to add a few points:

      Watch out for cyclists. The bike is king there and there are special lanes for bikes. The locals have no problem with kicking a wayward tourist found blundering through the bike lanes.

      If you choose to partake, the weed is powerful. Try a little bit at a time. Also, in the hash bars weed is sold at a separate spot from the food and beverages. Look for a smaller bar off in the corner if you want to buy.

      You can get a city pass (Amstercard?) that gives discounts / free passes to all major tourist attractions. In my experience it was worth it.

      You can walk the old city easily enough, but the bus/tram system is cheap and easy to understand. You can also rent bikes.

      I highly recommend taking a bike tour (try Mikes Bike Tours). It takes about half a day and you hit a lot of spots that you might not otherwise see, like a tour of a farm that makes cheese and clogs, Vondelpark, a few bars, etc.

      There is an awesome brewpub in an old windmill located near the Artist’s Zoo. If you like beer, plan on spending some time there.

      If you choose to visit parks at night don’t be surprised if people are having sex and don’t expect the Police to do anything about it. When the Pilgrims left Amsterdam they took their puritan view of the world with them.

      Everyone visits the red light district, but if you choose to purchase services there (and it’s perfectly legal and normal there to do so), go on a Monday morning. That’s when the locals go to avoid the tourists and the prices are supposed to be lower.

      And, yes, I do have pictures.

      Reply
      • Hashbrown says

        March 16, 2011 at 4:22 pm

        Wow, Tyrosine. You are awesome. Anyway I can get a view of these pictures?

        Reply
        • Tyrosine says

          March 16, 2011 at 8:47 pm

          I uploaded a few to photobucket. Not a good selection because the person I travelled with does not know they are being put on-line, so I made sure she wasn’t in any of them, so that eliminated a lot.

          Here’s the link: http://s764.photobucket.com/albums/xx283/Tyrosine68/Amsterdam/#!cpZZ1QQtppZZ36

          I’ll leave it public access for a few days. If you have any questions just drop a message to me at serenity_now666@hotmail.com. It’s my junk account but I check it at least once per week.

          Reply
  36. hot fuzz says

    March 15, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    I plan to spend a few weeks in Porta Backyarda this summer.

    Reply
    • Gretchen says

      March 15, 2011 at 11:07 pm

      😀

      Reply
  37. retrollama says

    March 15, 2011 at 11:30 pm

    We plan to spend most of the summer on the east coast Horror convention circuit, vending our wares for the VHS Preservation Society. Since I’m a teacher, I’m lucky enough to have summers off to do this sort of thing.

    We’ll probably also squeeze in a visit to Myrtle Beach to visit my parents, and a visit to upstate NY to visit the in-laws. Both are free places to stay in prime touristy areas, so how can you go wrong?

    Reply
  38. t-storm says

    March 16, 2011 at 1:36 am

    I love sitting at the bar and watching who tips. Especially when the no tippers ask me to help getting the bt attention

    Reply
  39. Knucklehead says

    March 16, 2011 at 1:37 am

    No summer vacation for me. We rent out the apartment next door for vacationing Brits (mostly) and will be busy with that. I do have some friends coming over in May and we’ll probably do a weekend thing to Bologna or Cinque Terra, but other than that we have to wait until October probably. Money is tight right now anyway and Italy in the summer sucks. Too hot, too many people and the mosquitoes eat me alive.
    Chill just made me want to go back to Amsterdam, though.

    Happy Wednesday,Surfers!

    Reply
  40. johnthebasket says

    March 16, 2011 at 2:42 am

    Well, at least we’re on to vacations and slightly departed from jingoism and that most preventable and prevalent of American diseases, xenophobia. I knew this was a redneck site when I got here, but I forgot how thick the smoke gets when we create a straw horse of pretend enemies and set fire to it. Because of the smoke, we can’t hardly see anything ‘cept ourselves and our guns. Fear does peculiar things to people.

    Not so many Brits and Aussies here today. I suspect we confirmed their presuppositions.

    If I typed another sentence on this subject, I would have to ban myself for a month because, by agreement, and unlike in the blog proper, comments are not to include political statements.

    jtb

    Reply
    • t-storm says

      March 16, 2011 at 3:00 am

      Suck it, nostrils

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        March 16, 2011 at 3:05 am

        Nice response.

        jtb

        Reply
  41. johnthebasket says

    March 16, 2011 at 3:03 am

    Yeah, the Nick Lowe composition was first recorded by Brinsley Schwarz (Mr. Lowe was the bassist) and was a bit of a hit in Britain and a cult hit in the US.

    Although the Elvis Costello version sounds something different than the BS version, it was, in fact, produced by Mr. Lowe who had taken quite a shine to Elvis’ song stylings and songwriting.

    In a way, Mr. Lowe helped Elvis become a significant recording artist and Elvis helped Mr. Lowe to become a producer of some renown.

    I continue to purchase Nick’s albums because these forty years on, the man can write and sing. For that matter, so can Mr. Costello.

    For some reason (perhaps talent) they both continue to record without sampling, which places their music in a different category than the crap one sees and hears at dumps like FM radio and the Grammys. As for hop hip, I don’t give a shit how many gangstas are on your recording, white and black, male and female, it sounds like cows fucking on ice.

    I’ll now return you to your regular programming.

    jtb

    jtb

    Reply
  42. Bill in WV says

    March 16, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Ironic that this topic was brought up. My neighbor friend came over last night for a couppa-two-tree beers and he told me that he had talked to the guy who lives next door to me and said the guy is terrified of me. LMAO! I had a serious issue with the guy when he moved in. He got all territorial on me and built a chain link fence down between our two house, which are only separated by about 5 feet. Said his dog needed room to run around. I had even told him that we could leave that area open and take turns mowing the grass, but NOOOOOOOOOOO, he had to do this, then came back and told me that he had his property surveyed and that my storage building was 6 inches over his property line and that I would have to move it. Mind you, my storage building is the size of a single car garage (a Leonard model) and would take considerable heft to move. Well, I did move it, along with my air compressor to my central air. Ended up costing me over $500. So……..FUCK HIM!!! I hope he is terrified at what I can do to him. He even has put up surveillance cameras, pointing toward my gate to my back yard. What a douchepickle.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      March 16, 2011 at 10:35 am

      douchpickle??? LMAO!

      Reply
      • Buck says

        March 17, 2011 at 7:19 pm

        You should do shit on camera to fuck with him. Dress in drag, bite the head off a live chicken, squat and take a shit on the concrete, wrap yourself in plastic and sing show tunes….you know—shit that will really just annoy the fuck out of him.

        Go out there and just pace back and forth for about 12 hours.

        Hang a dead deer on a game pole and skin it in front of the camera…then leave it to rot.

        Burn a pile of books and do demonic chanting

        Hell, Jessco White’s family got a movie deal for FAR less.

        Reply
  43. fattie20xl says

    March 16, 2011 at 9:58 am

    hey buck…. i love ya man!

    Reply
  44. Ian the Errolite says

    March 16, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Student life dictates frugal living for the most part, so its a summer full of camping on the West Coast of Scotland. It’s pretty stunning out there but the weather can be a bit undependable.
    http://www.road-to-the-isles.org.uk/camusdarach.html

    Were heading to spain in October. We managed to hire a villa with a pool in Frigiliana, so I’m looking forward to sun, tapas and all things Spanish. I can’t wait.

    Reply
    • mark0510 says

      March 17, 2011 at 6:35 am

      Just to echo what Ian says about the west coast of Scotland. It is absolutely breathtaking and the people are very welcoming. One of my favourite places in the world. To live in that part of the world must be wonderful, I’m really envious!

      It’s my 20th wedding anniversary this year so my wife and I were going on to spend a week in Paris, all romantic and self indulgent. Unfortunately my 2 daughters (19 and17) gave us guilt trips about not going away this year themselves so now the 4 of us are going to Malta instead. Bloody kids!

      Reply
  45. FirstNations says

    March 16, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Motorcycle touring Eastern Washington and Oregon. Everyone wishes they were me.

    Anyone wanting to experience a little Amsterdam without actually having to leave the continent should consider a visit to Vancouver BC. The place runs WIDE FREAKING OPEN. Add that to the world class architecture and dining, the scenery around and about, and the awesomeness of the people (Canadians are spookily nice people) and you have a low cost vacation complete with a vast and ready supply of ones’ illegal anaesthesia of choice. Two thumbs up, a twist and a kiss!

    Reply
  46. madz1962 says

    March 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    If I want a vacation filled with nature, I just need to stay at work. 6 freaking turkey buzzards are flying eye level to my wndow right now. Creepy looking birds with an evil twist thrown in.

    Reply
  47. Amos says

    March 16, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    Always hit the Frio River in Concan, TX every year. If you like a water/sun vacation but not the sand of the beach, you’ve got to go to the Frio River. Clear, cool water with a rock bottom. Nothing more relaxing than floating the river with an ice chest full of cold ones in tow. We’re always going to DC for the first time. Swore I wouldn’t go with OneBigAssMistakeAmerica in office, but hey….got an offer I couldn’t refuse. DC is first so I’ll need the Frio afterwards to balance out….

    Reply
    • Amos says

      March 16, 2011 at 3:06 pm

      *also* not always

      Reply
  48. Juancho says

    March 16, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Buck is just someone else’s Nancy like the rest of us.

    Reply
  49. Chuck in Belpre says

    March 16, 2011 at 7:52 pm

    This is a redneck site? I thought we were some sophisticated folk. I’m shocked and a little disappointed.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      March 17, 2011 at 5:08 am

      Chuck…

      Were I as articulate as Juancho, I’d just comment thus and move on. However, I am only who I am, a broken human trying to do the best I can. I’ll respond to your comment with my vegan experience.

      Not vegetarian — I know a few of those, and they seem like pretty normal people to me, although I never accept dinner invites to their houses — but vegan.

      I met these two couples through mutual friends, and they seemd nice, if a little earnest (my general philosophy is that if you’re under 40 and don’t have cancer you should be smiling most of the time: you’re young and vital and those conditions aren’t permanent). I did in fact get invited over for dinner and they did “warn” me that they were vegan eaters. Of course the food was terrible, but that wasn’t my primary problem with the evening.

      Even though they voted roughly as I did, and held reasonably similar positions on social and political issues, I had nothing in common with them. They were entirely sure they were right about everything — diet to be sure, but also the multitude of matters upon which they pontificated. In fact, change a few words around (substitute “tofu” for “guns” and “conservative” for “liberal”, etc., and they sounded just like Buck in today’s editorial. They were absolutely sure that they had it figured out and that everybody else was full of shit.

      My life is way too short for either the vegans’ world or Buck’s. I’m wrong more than I’m right — I wouldn’t learn much otherwise — and I spend pretty much no time judging others (including Buck and the vegans: live and be well). I try to listen as much as I talk, and to pay special attention to those who resemble me least. Even so, I’m one of God’s slower creatures; but I never stop listening and learning.

      My earlier characterization of this site as a “redneck” site was about what I perceive as a willingness by a number of people who hang here to dismiss the different and the “other” as wrong or silly. I’ll stick with that perception, but add that if I didn’t hold a majority of Reporters in esteem and even affection, I wouldn’t keep coming back day after day after day.

      And it is you and Reporters like you that make this feel like home to me. I value the humor and perspective and honesty I find here. I value it so much, that I get pissed off when Buck or someone else expresses what seems to me like close-minded bigotry — not a dislike of a race or a class or a category, but an unwillingness to concede that someone unlike themselves might have something valuable to say.

      Believe me, I discern the difference between the WVSR and the West Virginia White Pride site. For one thing, I suspect our site has better haircuts. For another, we seem to be able to laugh at ourselves and each other in a sufficiently human way that it brings us closer rather than breaking us apart. I just want that to continue, because I value the webfriends I’ve made here more than you will ever know.

      with respect…

      jtb

      Reply
      • Lee Harvey Ramone says

        March 17, 2011 at 9:28 am

        Hear, hear!

        Reply
      • fryguy says

        March 17, 2011 at 9:33 am

        and if we don’t agree we are rednecks and bigots. Maybe we just have an opinion that doesn’t agree with yours. I see many posts from you and I don’t remember anyone calling you a pinko commie or liberal asshat. Nowhere in Bucks manifesto does it say that everyone must agree with him, he is just stating his opinion on how he wants to live his life and that he holds his family above all else. Maybe we all aren’t politically correct and I am sure we all have different opinions on life but I like the respect that is given by most people on here. I love a spirited debate and I try to keep an open mind so that I can change and grow.

        Thanks for letting me speak my mind and keep posting!

        Reply
      • Buck says

        March 17, 2011 at 7:27 pm

        Damn, ya’ll are some tightly wound folks!!! Remind me to jam a lump of coal up somebody’s ass to make diamonds.

        Gees, this site is dedicated to a collection of the absurd and ridiculous…even Jeff will tell you that.

        Those of us who are “Reporters” and “Guest Columnists” work for Jeff. I HIGHLY DOUBT if he judged anything we write as “serious political speech” he wouldn’t allow it.

        I said it once…and I’ll say it again. “Lighten up Francis!” hahahahaha

        Reply
  50. doctorright says

    March 17, 2011 at 12:08 am

    I’m a new commenter here, so fuck me runnin’.
    This is a dandy site. Also- I go on vacation yearly. I spend 48-72 hours drinking vodka and punching myself in the face while listening to Parliament, Crack the Sky, the Mars Volta, and, of course, Steve Martin banjo music.
    That looks weird all typed out like that.

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      March 17, 2011 at 7:36 am

      Welcome! You fit right in.

      Reply
      • doctorright says

        March 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm

        Thanky, bikerchick. Preciate it…
        Now I’m going to get drunkerer- not because I cling to my Irishnicitiness (I have much- mixed with Italiocentric stuff SIGH), but because it’s a Thursday. With basketball. And I work not today. And what’s better than A BUNCH of reasons to enjoy adult beverages at 1 in the afternoon? Okay- a few things are better- but you get the point.

        Reply
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