Have you ever worked with a printing Nazi? I have. I thought of her yesterday, when I received an email with one of those oh-so-correct reminders at the bottom: Please don’t print this message unless you’re a selfish bastard who should develop cancer of the head and die. Or whatever.
This woman worked at a previous job, and her desk was near the shared laser printer. Pretty convenient, huh? I think she lobbied to get that particular spot in the office. So she could keep an eye on things…
It bothered her a great deal whenever someone printed a screenshot, or document of some kind. She’d either lecture the person (if she could get away with it), or make a series of gestures and noises designed to communicate her disapproval (if she couldn’t).
She was constantly talking about (whomever), and how they’re an outrageous paper-waster. “Every sheet used, is one less breath of air for our children,” she’d say, in a quivery, righteous tone.
And she did this with everyone, individually, to make it clear she was watching… always watching…
I bet she’s there right now, her body going completely rigid every time the printer cranks up. Unless, of course, somebody couldn’t take it anymore and beat her to death with a Scotch tape dispenser. Which is a real possibility.
Do you have any office cops at your job, who take it upon themselves to keep everyone else in-line? It doesn’t have to be a printing Nazi, just any busy-body foo’. Tell us about it, won’t you?
And check it out. This is a series of gut-wrenching photographs sent by Knucklehead, featuring her macaw (also named Knucklehead?), going to town on the Smoking Fish.
I’m sorry, I’m feeling a little nauseous… Nauseous and light-headed.
And, in addition to the Question above, I’d like to know if you’d prefer tiny, microscopic updates like this one when I’m running short of minutes, or should I just save it up until next time? Let me know.
And I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise.
See ya then.