A couple nights ago our dog Andy (Black Lips Houlihan, Snoop Manny Mann) woke three of us up in the middle of the night, making some kind of freaky noise. It was incredibly loud, and a cross between a howl and Yoko Ono after too much cheese.
All of us, except the older Secret (who could sleep through carpet bombing), sat bolt upright with WTF?! across our faces. A sound like that should never come from a domesticated animal; it was like a Stephen King movie.
I reached down and patted the hound, and he was shaking and all tensed-up. He sometimes has doggy dreams, during which he yelps and barks and runs in place. But this was WAAAAY beyond that. A person could’ve heard it while walking past our house.
And the weird thing? It happens about once every six months. Oh, this isn’t the first time, not at all. And it’s always the same bizarre-ass noise.
What the crap is it all about?! I wish I had a recording of it; you folks wouldn’t believe it.
Over the weekend I hoisted myself off the platform, poured a cup of coffee, and shuffled down to the subterranean control center. And when I turned on my Miller High Life lamp, the bulb made a tell-tale muffled pop!, and died at home after a short illness.
Grrr… I went to the shelf where we keep replacement bulbs, and there was nothing there. Highly irritating.
I asked the Secrets if they knew where Toney was, and they said she’d gone to Target or Wal-Mart, or somewhere similar. So, I called and asked her to pick up some 75 watt bulbs. Or, as we say back home, “bu’bs.”
And she came home with more of those twisty Nancy deals, that supposedly keep working for five years. We’d experimented with them in the kitchen, and they’re still going strong after fourteen or fifteen months. So, we’re kinda sold on the things.
But not for the bunker! C’mon. I’m sorry, but the Surf Report home office is NOT going green. In fact, I’ve been doing Google searches, trying to find methods for increasing the WVSR carbon footprint.
In any case, the ridiculous things wouldn’t work. The lamp has a shade that clamps directly onto the bulb, so you can’t really use one that looks like a Dairy Queen cone.
This irritated Toney, because they were fairly expensive, and she started switching one out with a lamp in the fambly room. And promptly dropped and exploded the mercury bulb…
Gulp. Aren’t they dangerous, when broken? Somewhere, deep in my brain, I had that bit of information stored away. In fact, I think someone once told me a Hazmat crew needs to come in, or somesuch.
But we just opened a nearby window, cleaned up the glass, wiped off the end table, and vacuumed the carpet. And for the rest of the day I thought I could feel the beginning stages of mercury poisoning. It’s fatal, and it don’t get better, according to my spiritual adviser, Graham Parker.
But I guess we’re OK. It’s been several days now, and none of us are experiencing projectile eye-bleeding. And, according to this Snopes page, we did most things right, just using our instincts. Pretty cool, huh?
I’ll leave you now with a Question based on an email conversation Brad and I had last night. I’d like to know if you ever went to a concert, and the opening act was unknown to you at the time, but went on to become Big in some way.
I saw Iggy Pop in Charlotte years ago, and there were two opening bands: Yo La Tengo and Jane’s Addiction. How’s that for a lineup? And I’d never heard of either of them at the time.
Also, I was planning to see Heart at the Huntington Civic Center, when I was in high school, but my parents wouldn’t let me to leave the house. I’d done something to get into trouble (go figure), and they told me to just sit my ass down. The opening act that night? XTC! One of my future favorite bands… who never plays live anymore.
So, there’s your Question. Do with it what you will.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow, hopefully with a longer update.
Sweet sainted mother of Bobby Goldsboro!
impendinf is the same as “impending”….. just in a different language………
I knew we shouldn’t have try Mercury instead of water in the bong……..
Add me to your list. He was fucking awesome. The McGavor of his day.
The Evil Twin says
>>AC/DC, UFO and The Motors at the Charleston Civic Center on Thanksgiving Day back in the mid-70s…
I was standing there with ya Bubba………. I’d almost forgotten the day !!!!<<
Mark, that was a great show, wasn’t it? You can back me on how tiny the audience was!
I really liked Nantucket, and thought that they were pretty underrated. I remember when they played a great warmup set in Charleston. One of the guitar players had a pair of pants made completely out of those oval STP stickers. Was Head East the headliners? Anybody remember?
I can think of 2 instances of this; when I was a sophmore in High School I saw the Eagles and Jimmy Buffet was the opening act. A few years later I saw the Police with REM as an opening act. Oh and Michael Stipe still had hair, it was a long time ago.
greg t says
JEFF I got my latest copy of Consumer Reports last night and one of the articles compared coffee. Guess what was the very first. Yup. It is your Eight-0-Clock bean 100% Colombian Coffee. Rated as the ‘Consumer Reports best buy”. Guess you really do know what your are doing. Who da thunk it…
Ian the Errolite says
Just 3 things,
I heard that ‘The Stones’ require payment from the support acts!
Iggy Pop sucks due to his ridiculous advert for insurance that is plaguing the screens of UK tv’s every five minutes and regardless of his prior work will never be forgiven! ‘Rock’n’Roll!’
Standard lightbulbs are being phased out in the UK., forever!!!!!
Saw Anthrax back in the day, and the opening band was this gang of douchery we’d never heard of called White Zombie. My friend and I spent their whole set mocking them openly. I mean really, who the fuck is this Rob Zombie freak with his shorts and combat boots and dreadlocks and, oh – possibly my favorite, the 3-foot tall Cat-in-the-Hat hat. Whotta goof. The two hot chicks in front of us obviously knew who they were, and were quite put out by our mockery, and left to find other seats after a bit. What a shame, that.
Oh, and Korn opening for Megadeth. Kilts? Bagpipes? What is this, the fuckin’ Scottish Highland Games? I wanna rock!
My hometown petitioned the Rolling Stones to come play our 10,000 seat ampitheater when I was about 17. They did come, and they had a phone in to win tickets and I got a pair. Their opening band was The Go-Go’s, and I thought they “Had the Beat”. Enjoyed them more than The Stones.
Cheap Trick is from my home town, so I saw them play in lots of venues like Veteran’s Hall and Local Bars. Now they are probably back playing those places.
I got tickets to a Ben Folds concert for a me and a friend for her birfday… opening act was “The Fray” about 6 months before they started being played on the radio all the goddamn time. So, now they’re a really popular (but gay) band.
Not a band but about 20 years ago a couple of buddies & I drove from Toronto to a town a million miles in the boonies called Barrie(20 years later it’s a sub division!) to see this impersonator everyone was raving about! a young white guy who did the funniest Sammy Davis Jnr you had ever seen!: The kid was Jim Carrey!
Just popping in to say I’m popping in….
In 83 or 84 Jim Carrey came to my high school in London.
the “ads by Google” in the side bar looks like some type of freaky, kinky fetish shit.
“High Heel Photos”
“Boxers” and “Boys in Briefs”
“Bad foot odor”
Sweet sainted mother of Bettie Page!!
We saw Jewel open for Dinosaur Jr. before she was well known. The crowd was yelling “you suck” and throwing things. Well… she does suck. I stand by that over 10 years later.
Further evidence: Bio Toxic clean up toys!
I saw Jonny Lang open for Blues Traveller in Toronto maybe 10 years ago, he looked about 17.
Off to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy tonight, if they make it through the snow to my frozen little duckburg.
J Shifty says
My mother once took us to the South Shore Music Circus to see Shecky Greene open for Marvin Hamlisch.
I think he grew pretty big not too long after that…
I’ll be here all week, folks! Try the veal.
Son of Sam says
Don’t look like an update in the forecast folks. I’m off to the Pens game tonight. Hope we make it’s snowing like a bastard here.
Knucklehead, I love UFO too.There is that song that goes…. Misty green and blue..Oh do love to love you. …That has one of thee best guitar solos I have ever heard.in my entire life Fanfuckingtastic!
Stuart in Hong Kong says
Nashville, TN, fall 1981
I saw REM open for U2
Hey! I was trying to figure out, after hanging out with Ron Heathman of the Supersuckers, talking about Michael Schenker, Johnny Winter and Humble Pie (he has a Humble Pie tribute band), who the 3rd band was on the AC/DC – UFO bill in Charleston WV in 1977. I happened on this page, and the info I’m looking for is in print before me, written by my friend the Evil Twin!
I keep reading, and he talks about UFO and mentions me in the story! (I’m the “John”). I was like a little spoolburl. (He means “schoolgirl”). Discovering that my friend is still alive, laughing at the memories (I was telling Ron that my friend Evil Twin and I used to say that UFO looked like they’d raided their mother’s closets), and finding out that it was The freakin’ MOTORS who opened the show!
I still have my ticket stub! Just in case anyone wants proof that it happened. It lists AC/DC and UFO, and the price was indeed $3! (Great memory Evil Twin).
Now, write me at email@example.com and tell me you’re alive for real, so I can see you if I ever come back to my hometown again, and we can talk about Derringer, Starz, Rex, The Tubes, Angel, Montrose, etc.
Now, click on my flickr site and see pictures of people. Once I get to W.Va and get the rest of them, you’ll be on there. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee doggies Jethro!
About other shows in the early 70’s in WV, my Evil Twin friend. Who opened for Kiss in 1975 on the Dressed To Kill tour? I have my stub from that one too, but don’t remember the opener and they aren’t listed.
I know I saw Journey pre-Steve Perry. I think with Santana. Though I can’t imagine that makes any sense because I wouldn’t have gone to see either of those bands. Maybe it was super early and Aerosmith opened, because I remember a Santana show where Aerosmith opened in maybe 1974. I taped it. I have a cassette tape recording of Aerosmith in Charleston West Virginia on the Get Your Wings tour, that’s right kids.
I saw Montrose in Charleston on the tour for the 2nd LP. Because my friend’s mom worked for the Charleston Civic Center (let’s give it up for, a shout-out to, word yo, Jewel Spence!) I got a promotional Montrose pinback button with a shot of the band and the logo in black and white.
ANYWHO, I was all effing excited to see one of my favorite bands EVER (I don’t care what you say, the 2nd LP was a HUGE letdown but I still LOVE IT)(I’m talking about Montrose)
and they hit the stage and I realized that there was NO Sammy Hagar singing. I didn’t realize that after the 2nd album Sammy left the band and they toured with a new vocalist. I was SO depressed. Finally got to see Montrose and it was an imposter.
It was like in 1979 or so, on the Creatures of the Night tour, seeing KISS touring for an album I didn’t even like, and realizing that the guitarist had weird makeup and WAS NOT my hero Ace Frehley. Turns out it was Vinnie Vincent. I was so depressed I think I left early.
Anyway, here’s my question.
Dear Evil Twin: did you ever get to see PIPER?