The New York Dolls show turned out to be a lot of fun. They were loud and rockin’, and I thought my right ear might have been permanently destroyed. But by this morning it had bounced back, so it clearly wasn’t a Cheap Trick-level assault. Cheap Trick ringing will last for upwards of a week. And that shit’s scary.
Steve and I left my house around two o’clock yesterday afternoon, and sat in the standard Philadelphia traffic for a long, long time. Finally, we arrived in the Chinatown section, and paid some guy $11 for the privilege of leaving my car on a trash-strewn lot. I’m not even sure he worked there.
Why is it always humid in Philadelphia? Every time it’s sticky and gross — regardless of season. Yesterday was no different. It wasn’t very hot, but every pore on my body swung wide open the moment I stepped out of the car. And mister, I have a lot of pores.
We went to a store Steve wanted to check out, called Mitchell and Ness. He’d been there before, but it was my first time. They sell exact reproductions of sports jerseys, and that sort of thing, and the prices are pretty breathtaking.
I happened upon a 1969 Johnny Bench road jersey, and since he’s my favorite player, I asked one of the employees for the price.
Him: Need help with anything?
Me: Yeah, how much is this Johnny Bench?
Him: Let’s see, that one’s $275.
Me: …Steve, I’ll be waiting outside.
Then we went to Moriarty’s Pub for dinner and a couple of mildly disappointing microbrews. They have a lot of beers on tap, and I wanted to sample some stuff I’d never tried before.
So, I went with an IPA that had the word “steam” in the name (not Anchor Steam). I can’t remember what it was called, but it was from Colorado and had an aftertaste that I didn’t like. Maybe rotting vegetables? Possibly bottom of the Kroger dumpster? I wasn’t able to put my finger on it.
Then we each had a Flying Fish Farmhouse Summer Ale, and it was better but not great. In fact, it was fairly dull; it could’ve been a Michelob Light.
On a happier note, the shepherd’s pie was excellent. Better, in fact, than the version I was served in England. The stuff I got there was greasy and gristly, and not very good. Last night’s was delicious.
After leaving Moriarty’s we walked directly across the street to an Irish pub apparently called — get this — Irish Pub. There we each had a Stoudt’s Pale Ale, which was just what the doctor ordered. The downside? $5.50 per pint.
Around eight o’clock we went to the show, and the third of three opening bands had just started playing. They were called Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears, and sounded really good. Funky, man.
Then there was a too-long wait, and eventually (finally!) the current version of the New York Dolls took the stage.
David Johansen looks like he weighs about 100 pounds, and has arms like a 12 year old girl. Time (he’s about 60 now) and rough living has taken a toll on his face, and this is approximately what he looks like at this point.
But, of course, he’s a natural-born rock star, with charisma to spare. He’s one of the all-time great frontmen, and still possesses whatever mysterious magic such creatures possess.
Sylvain Sylvain, the only other original member, was extremely animated throughout the show, and seemed to be having a blast. Whenever he wasn’t sporting a “guitar face,” he was smiling and laughing.
The lead guitarist was good, but looked a lot like Johnny Thunders. Is that wise? I’m not sure it is. I groaned when I saw him take the stage.
But the band sounded great. They were loud and rocking, and played a mixture of old and new songs. Often in those kinds of situations everybody just wants to hear the old favorites. But I thought the new songs held up well, and the crowd was into all of it.
Here’s a pic I snapped with my cell phone. You can see that we were standing pretty close to the stage — hence my temporary hearing loss.
About two-thirds of the way into the show the band went into some kind of overdrive, and took it up another notch. They had the audience whipped into a frenzy, and a group of dipshits dressed like 1977 London punks started moshing and slamming, and all that stuff.
Why do some people insist on dressing like rock stars when they go see rock stars? I mean, I like baseball, but don’t feel the need to wear a full Cincinnati Reds uniform, glove, and batting helmet when I go to the stadium.
Oh wait, we were looking at replica jerseys earlier in the evening, weren’t we? Never mind…
Anyway, I was standing near it all, and some shitpouch came careening out of the crowd and torpedoed me in the side with his outsize blockhead. It was a direct hit, and I almost went down. Once I regained my bearings I shoved him away, and moved a little farther back.
A few minutes later (during “Trash”) the same guy knocked-down a woman who looked like she was sixty years old. Sent her all the way to the floor, with both feet sticking straight up… It’s a wonder she didn’t explode her pelvis, or something.
Man, I really hate that particular brand of idiot. Ya know? I was hoping someone would kick his ass, but it never happened, unfortunately.
And there really were a lot of oldsters there. It was an odd mix of young and old. I sometimes feel like a grandpa at shows, but not this one. Some of the people standing near us looked to be the same age as my parents.
At two o’clock was, I believe, Karl Rove, continuously clapping his hands in beat, like he was at a tent revival singing an old Negro spiritual. And to our left was Clint Eastwood, I think, standing with Cliff from Cheers. Mixed-in were college kids, and everyone in-between. It was fairly bizarre.
Near the end of the show the Dolls acknowledged the 900 lb gorilla in the room, and paid tribute to their late, great guitarist Johnny Thunders. Johansen and Sylvain sang “Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory,” and said “We miss you, Johnny,” or something similar.
It took away some of the sour taste left by the imitation Johnny on the right side of the stage.
“Personality Crisis” was the encore, and the assholes were outdoing themselves during that one. There was a swirling whirlpool of elbows and douchebags in the middle of the floor, and senior citizens were being knocked around. I saw Karl Rove head for the hills, while still keeping the beat.
We got home around 2:30 am, and Steve had another 75 miles to drive from here. I haven’t heard from him, so hopefully he made it.
Next up: the Eels, if/when they tour to support their new album. Oh, we’ll be there. And that’ll mean two shows in one calendar year. We’re getting pretty wild, aren’t we?
I’ll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
Shiny Rod says
@ pagan – no, that just means that you weren’t ready to drink the kool-aid or take the red pill.
Shiny Rod says
@ larry – Thats something I left on the road when I passed through Ohio, sort of a parting gift.
At Detroit shows, people on the periphery of the mosh pit don’t put up with that shit…they just shove them right back in.
I like the newbies who take one look at me and think “Yeah, I’m going to take that woman’s close spot. She’s old enough to be my mother, she’ll be easy.” They find out pretty quickly that I will not be moved…and that I have really sharp elbows which I’m not afraid to use. Assholes. If you want a close spot get there early like I did.
And if it continues, I will call them out. I’ve been going to shows longer than they’ve been alive, dumbasses.
I really hate to miss a Monday, but I was just summoned to work two hours early. I have to leave in thirty minutes, and that means no update. Sorry. It chaps my ass, too.
Swami Bologna says
My ass be a chappin’.
Given that there will be no update I’m going to use this space to survey you guys on you vast collective knowledge of MP3 players. Mine was stolen last week, so I’m replacing it on Friday and I’m still up in the air as to which one to go with:
iPod Touch: Popular but pricey. Plus I’m a little leery of the “Apple Hype”
Zune: Cheaper, and some good features, but is it as good as the iPod? The downside is that it’s made by microsoft, so there’s bound to be software issues.
Any opinions/experiences would be appreciated.
Just a Few Things
June 22, 2009
Okay, since I have time at work to do this…..
I have received a few emails from oldtimes asking “Hey, AWG, where do you work now, since you seem to have a lot of free time to post?” Well, I work for a State agency in America’s Wang that regulates and tells you that you cannot use water in a state surrounded by water. For instance, I am only allowed to water my lawn from midnight to 4 AM, on Tuesday, based on my address. Therefore, I water my lawn at 10 PM every night. If I am caught, it’s a 500 dollar fine, which would be somewhat embarrassing, since I work for the agency that established this rule anyways. This state has no idea how to fix this problem. It does not rain South of Tampa, therefore, Snorasota gets no rain west of the interstate. I have written our homesexual governor and suggested a trench down the middle of the state, since the northern areas seem to get flooded continually, but who the fuck am I? They scrapped those desalinization plants idea years ago, so it is just another way to grab us all in the deep south part of Florida by the balls. But let’s tax those smokers, that’ll fix everything.
Is ANYONE better off than they were last year? Let me know in the comments below and I will move there. I have worked for the man for about 35 years and I have never had this kind of ball crushing bank account despair. I don’t think anyone in that big Ovary office can fix things now, since the country is basically run by Big Tobacco and Big Oil, but I keep holding my breath. The reason gas has increased in price now, so they tell us, is that the economy is better, so they can justify putting the price where it should be. It was not “supply and demand” as previously stated, or it was not “Middle East violence escalated”, but it’s just because they damn well see that it’s a good time to do it. This is “change you can believe in”, right.
For the first time in my life, I feel the void between basketball season, in which Kobe the rapist disposed of my favorite team, until the year the Colts win their third Super Bowl. Basically, free agency has destroyed baseball, and I just cannot find a team to get behind. When I was a kid, I loved the New York Mets. Knew every player, position, and career averages. Then, my favorite player, the great Tom Seaver, got traded to the Reds. I became a Reds fan (although obviously I was a Seaver fan) and along with nearly everyone else I knew in the resort town of Dunbar, West Virginia, listened to Joe Nuxhall and Marty Brennamen broadcast each and every game and rooted for the Reds. Then they traded Seaver back to New York after a few years. This left me confused, but I followed my hero through a career that then went to the White Sox and the eventually, the Red Sox, until his retirement. Then he got elected to the Hall of Fame with the highest percentage of votes in history. Not knowing where to turn, I adopted the Seattle Mariners as MY team. They sucked then, as they do now, but I watched them assemble a quality team, with Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey, Jr., A-Rod, Jamie Moyer, Bret Boone, Edgar Martinez and others who turned that team into a goddamn contender. They even won 116 games one year, but never made it to the big show. Then, I watched them get rid of each player, one-by-one, and the team was left with nothing but a cellar dwelling existence. I was lost.
I though about it, and decided that maybe I would follow the Devil Rays (now just Rays, due to the continuing pussification of America). I hung in there with them for several years, even though they were in last place at the end of the year for most of that time. Last year, the Rays went to the World Series. This year, they suck again. Although I have gone to a few games each year in the world’s largest miniature golf course, I just cannot get the feeling back from my excitable youth love for the “America’s Game.” I feel like a Manning retirement, Lecavalier trade or a Turkoglu trade will do the same for me with football, hockey or basketball. I need something to believe in and take me away from the shit that is life in America right now. If not sports, what the fuck is left? Sure, I have my kids and young wife to help me be happy and appreciate what I DO have, but these motherfuckers are getting paid more than I will make in a lifetime to make me happy. MAKE ME HAPPY, GODDAMMIT! Just needed to put that out there.
Did anyone, besides me, watch the TV series “Life”? Obviously not, since it got cancelled after two seasons, but it was unbelievably awesome. Check it out on DVD.
My Father’s Day consisted of my father-in-law taking us to an oyster bar and ordering about 100 oysters on the half shell for five adults. I do not get the idea that they are so awesome that this is all you need. I personally would need to eat about 600 raw oysters to be considered full. And you have to do all the work to eat them. And it’s just like swallowing something you already coughed up. Is that just a Florida and New England thing, or do any of you eat oysters regularly? Besides digging them out of the shell, adding your own horseradish and hot sauce and putting them on a cracker to give it some substance, is there something else I am missing to make this a fulfilling eating experience? Please let me know.
That’s all I got right now. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.
Did you know- Emus cannot walk backwards?
On IPOD right now- “Dear God” XTC
Tyrosine, I would just go with a standard IPOD. Unless you have that kind of money to burn, just get something that you can listen to without all the extras. Save the money now people, for it will be sucked out of your pocket like a vacuum in the coming years. Simplify now.
DId you know- Camel’s milk does not curdle?
On IPOD right now- “In the Flesh”- Pink Floyd
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I am very happy with my new iStapler. It does all of the electronic stuff that you’d expect out of an iPod, but is also a kick-ass stapler that helps me take care of all of those loose papers cluttering up my office.
My wife loves the new iDildo that I got her for Mother’s Day. If it happens to shuffle to “Eye of the Tiger” while she’s using it, well, look out boys she’s gonna blow.
I didn’t get the new iPocketPussy for Father’s Day, I’m sad to say. I planned on loading it with Cyndi Lauper tunes. Maybe next year.
Son Of Sam says
A.W.G. not even close to being better off now.
I used to have a good job…now it’s just a job.
H.R.’s lastest memo..severance package is no more.
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I heard that Steve Jobs just got a new iLiver. No word yet on how happy he is with it though.
Worse off this year than last year. We had to take 10 days off unpaid between Feb – June. I suppose I should be happy that I still have a job, but I feel assraped. And the job market sucks so bad that they know they have you over a barrel.
Shiny Rod says
@ AngryWhiteGuy – I have to have something else besides just Oysters. !00 would not have done me any good either. Now if your father-in-law did 100 a person well, that might be a good snack. The only good thing about oysters is they don’t taste or chew like clams and yes I do chew my oysters. I don’t want that whole wad of shellfish (a more pleasant word) stewing down there still alive. Yeah thats all we need is a big ditch running down the middle of Florida. Then Georgia will pitch a tissy cause Florida is stealing all their water and God fobid that happen. All those fags in Atlanta will start packing up and moving to North Carolina. I guess we can let them have Charlotte. They’ve already have taken over Savanah.
Shiny Rod says
@ Jason – Boy, you are stranger than Kobe’s left testicle.
Shiny Rod says
@ NDfaninAZ – and I was whining because we got hit with a .5 % salary cut for two months and 10 hours of mandatory furlough.
Shiny Rod says
Camel’s milk doesn’t curdle? So why are we drinking cows milk? We should be investing in Camels. Emus do taste better than turkey and you get bigger portions.
First I had to spend the weekend with my in-laws and now I don’t get an update?
Fuck me, I’m getting hammered tonight.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
How do ypu get the emu to fit in the oven?
tyrosene the i pod is a good product you can get a great deal at future shop or Best buy particularly on the nano ( cheaper than the apple store) I agree re the hype & you will get way too many updates which always try & slip extra content you dont want in! however the music store works well & has a great selection (other than classic Kinks!) & we only pay 99c CDN up here! You could do a lot worse! Besides Jobs needs the money for extra body parts!
Father’s Day consisted of a visit to the newly reopened WV museum, then a nice dinner of grilled steaks and crab legs.
We put on the disco music and watched the kids flee the house when we started dancing.
Then we were free to “get busy”….”Play that funky music white boy!”
Apparently Jeff is recovering from Father’s Day.
I hope he didn’t break a hip….
Knucklehead – no stories to share? I would have to dig into my hat to find stories because it’s been awhile.- but couldn’t handle my outlaws. I’m almost 5’8″ and around 130 lbs my x-father-in-law would make references to my excess weight – piece of shit….Just miserable people to be around.
Shiny Rod says
@ pagan – who said we need an oven, just a large fire and rotisserie rig. I’m talkin some serious caveman shit here…
Shiny Rod says
@ leanne – what you talking bout, you just skin and bones girl…
Shiny Rod says
I’m diggin my new iTreadmill. It has ieverything on it…
OK, I don’t feel so bad, since there were no pay cuts or forced unpaid furloughs involved at my job. The State put a freeze on raises last year though, and will probably do the same this year, so I can look forward to that. Those that decided that will probably give themselves raises though.
Did you know- The Roman emperor Caligula made his horse a senator? Then he made his horse.
On IPOD right now- “Camel Walk”- Southern Culture on the Skids
Hey Ed McMahon- Heeeeeeeere’s Jesus!
Shiny Rod says
Thats because Caligula was an Ass…