Do idiots know they’re idiots? Possibly not. But I’m fairly certain I’m not one of them. My problems stem from low self-esteem and a bad personality, not stupidity. I’m almost sure of it.
However… I have a lot of trouble with iTunes. And people love to say the program is idiot-proof. Right? That’s the canned comment. I’ve heard it a hundred times.
It’s a myth. That thing will work great for months, and suddenly turn into a shithouse for no known reason. It happened today, and caused me to scream at my monitor like a mental patient. And make our dog run for cover.
I have a first generation iPod nano, from 2005. I use it daily at work, and have for years. It’s the tiny 2 gig model, so every morning I have to go into iTunes and pick ‘n’ choose the podcasts I want to add and delete. It’s a manual process, because there’s not enough room on that antique to allow automatic syncing. I subscribe to about 25 podcasts, and the device would max out after 10 or so.
It’s no big deal. It usually takes less than five minutes to get my old friend ready for another day of work. But today nothing was as normal. And the frustration made me want to eat a section of drywall.
As I said, I use the program EVERY DAY. And have for YEARS. I know my way around it. I know how the sidebar likes to disappear, and how to bring it back. I know how you often have to refresh the podcasts, even though it’s supposed to happen automatically. I’m familiar with all the little quirks of iTunes, and adapt accordingly.
But… it still causes me to go all the way to the cusp of insanity, about once a quarter. Is that built in, for some reason? The quarterly Fuck with Everyone feature? I’m starting to suspect it is. I think Apple employees say, “It’s almost time for Fuck with Everyone again!” And somebody else says, “Already?! It seems like we were Fucking with Everyone just a couple weeks ago. It comes around so quickly now.”
I know what you’re going to say: 1) Some variation of “you don’t know what you’re doing” or 2) “Get a more modern iPod.” I reject both of those notions. I have no problem 90% of the time, and do the same thing every day. So, that remaining 10% is my fault? Ha! I think not. I turn my riffled ass in the direction of such theories.
Next in our Myths series: That old Swiffer couple on TV is whimsical and charming. Is it wrong of me to hope she knocks that ceiling fan off and decapitates Morty? Be sure not to miss it!
If you have any Myths to suggest for future installments, please use the comments link below.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
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Jeff,
Like you, I have an iPod Nano, and, like you, I subscribe to about 25 podcasts. I have a little more memory than you, so I can be a little sloppy with my space, but I’m sure our habituation with podcasts is similar. I can’t leave the house without podcasts loaded and ready.
I also have periodic problems with iTunes software. I believe you know what you’re doing, and you damn well shouldn’t have to buy new hardware (although you can now buy a fairly bigass Nano for under 50 bucks).
I’m not an Apple apologist; my only Apple platform is my Nano; it’s the only Apple product I’ve ever owned. I just didn’t want to send that dick Steve Jobs my hard-earned money.
But the podcast feature of iTunes is too cool not to use. I mean the content. The software is what you’d expect to get when there’s a new .n release every couple of weeks, there are lots of moving parts, and the content (with formatting) is coming from thousands of different sources and being played on many different devices.
I don’t have specific technical advice, but I’ll share my own philosophy…podcasts are so nice to listen to, that I’m willing to put up with some software problems a few times a year. iTunes will need to improve their software quality control and release testing if they want to survive in the content market, and they do.
I sort of doubt that Apple is targeting you specifically, but it’s not entirely impossible that they’re in league with Subway to fuck you over with faulty software and too much mayo. I hope things get better.
John
Hey, you’re s’posed to just say “First!,” not write a lengthy and intelligent response to Jeff’s actual post. C’mon, now, get with the program already. Jeez.
LMAO!
Idiots definitely don’t know that they’re idots. That’s why you have to tell them. Over and over again.
Would anybody tell me if I was getting stupider?
I have a newer ipod touch, I had an older ipod before that so I am also very familiar with itunes and it still pisses me off sometimes. Random functions just stop working, they have a new update every 5 minutes. I always spend at least an hour trying to fix the problem. You are not alone.
Yup. My latest iTunes head scratcher was the volume slider disappearing when I put the iPad into a dock. I still haven’t figured that one out. Also, coming to find out that iTunes Match doesn’t really stream your songs, but downloads them.
Myth #4785:
It’s not what you do, it’s the way that you do it
(Bananarama was wrong)
Everything Apple seems so easy in theory, but getting it to all work in concert, I think, takes dedicating a whole day (and I’ve not done it). I’ve got an iPhone, 2 iPods, an iPad, a MacBook Pro an iMac and the Time Capsule and if everything worked like their commercials say it should life would be one big harmonious orgy of happiness… not the cluster-fuck that it is.
I don’t use iTunes very much. I leave that to the kids. However, everyfreakingtime i use it, I get a completely different result. It’s horribly inconsistent and the constant updates are retarded. iTunes and Adobe Reader (I use Foxit, but still have to have Adobe for those rare files that will not function in Foxit) are two programs I would love to permanently shitcan.
Anything that works 90% of the time is golden….GOLDEN !!!
I don’t use iTunes so I have no words of advice.
Now for the Myth Series: The horse faced Humira lady who looks like she lives in a grand hotel. When her and her daughter are brushing each other’s teeth,is it wrong for me to wish the daughter would jam that toothbrush deep down into mom’s esophogus? Stay tuned!
here’s the commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06PpGCPsP-w
Interesting. I kept trying to download the latest episode of “Breaking Bad” thru iTunes last night and spent 90 minutes whipping my hand through what’s left of my hair and cursing. I eventually gave up. So maybe it wasn’t just me…
your mistake was in watching Breaking Bad.
At your age, you should be listening to Breaking Wind.
I thought iTunes was idiot bait.
Like Elvis said “There’s only two things in the world that are fool proof; Coupe d’ Villes and hookers!”
I dunno. Someone told me 30 years ago that if you make something idiot proof, only idiots will use it. That seems to have held true so far.
iTunes is some of the worst software out there. Apples team of code monkeys has regularly ignored conventions of interface design that any other halfway decent software pays attention to. I always always clench before using it and if I didn’t have an iPad for work, would not have it installed anywhere I would have to see it.
The latest “feature” I admired, just this morning, is the button to get to the iPad features that has an eject button nested inside of it.
It’s monumentally crappy.
Dear, sweet Jeff. I’ve been a loyal surf reporter for years. I fell in love with your down to earth, goofy, semi-neurotic sense of humor. Lately I’ve wondered what would happen to you if something seriously bad happened in your life. I’m a huge ball of anxiety but you really can’t sweat everything, even if you think its comedy gold. If you aren’t complaining, then you are apologizing. Or apologizing for complaining, or complaining about all of your apologizing, etc. I know you appreciate us, that’s why I believe that you would appreciate my point of view. If you need to work on your book, which I can not wait for, then do it, give us peeded 🙂 You deal with whatever you have to deal with. Anyone that doesn’t understand that can just suck it!!
Auto correct! I meant to say give us the heads up that you do when you will be busy for a few days, NO apology needed. You have a full life and we are simply lucky when you have the time to include us…
Your point is reasonable, and I agree, but what is “peeded” autocorrected FROM? It sounds like the past tense of “peed” which is, itself, the past tense of pee. And the smiley face seems to be a taunt of some sort, perhaps from iTunes which, if you buy the comments above, would screw up anything that shook its bug-riddled hand. I’m just saying…
John
Peed was an error. The face I made had nothing to do with iTunes. I was talking to Jeff.
I can’t believe that I have to give you an explanation, but the “pleeded” or whatever was meant to be ” heads up.” And why do I have to explain this to you?
Good grief, rachael. I wondered what “peeded” could have auto corrected from, too. You don’t “have” to explain anything, but it could be funny.
Isn’t this the spot where Uncle Wedgie says “Lighten up, Francis”?
I just rilly rilly like it when these boxes get smaller
and smaller…
now I wonder how small they’ll get…
I’m supposed to be out in the warehouse for a drug free workplace meeting but I’m stoned and this seems more fun..
Wouldn’t a work-free drugplace be more fun?
.
I agree. Most of us are fairly smart and were just curious about peeded. It was not a criticism (sp?).
I can’t believe that I have to give you an explanation, but the “pleeded” or whatever was meant to be ” heads up.” And why do I have to explain this to you?
I think I just peeded myself….
I’d better go home for a change of trousers before the boss notices.
I just re-listened to Marc Maron’s conversation with Michael Keaton from about nine months ago. If anybody is unclear about why we put up with dodgy software to hear podcasts, this is a great example. Keaton is a sweet, honest guy with blue collar roots that he hasn’t lost and Maron is at the top of his game. It’s 90 minutes of pleasure that nobody who has any interest in standup or the process of making movies should miss.
John
And as to the previous peeded interchange, I shouldn’t just take for granted that everyone who comments here has a sense of humor about their writing or about this forum. I dabbled in whimsy with no ill will in my heart, but I didn’t know the Reporter with whom I was engaging. It’s not her fault that she didn’t notice that I was laughing with her and not at her. I’m very sorry that I offended her. This is an apology. I’ll confine further whimsy to Reporters I know.
John
I think you really peeded her off..
“how much dirt could we manufacture?”
cracks me up every time!
Lol! Have no idea how peeded popped up, considering its not even a word!