On Friday evening I attended the one-year anniversary party for WILK radio’s Friday BeerBuzz program. It was a lot of fun, and I had exactly one too many. I wasn’t smashed or anything, but I probably should’ve resisted that final pint. I’m a paranoid sumbitch, in my old age.
But everything worked out OK. I’m happy to report that I didn’t end up in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison…
The party was held at an odd deli/beer store/picnic area. It’s hard to describe. They have (according to the sign) 1100 different beers in stock. I didn’t count them, but they certainly offer a huge selection, including some stuff I’d never seen before. And I know a little bit about fancy-pants beers.
They serve sandwiches in the place, and have round restaurant tables in the front section. But in the rear of the store there are a bunch of picnic tables set-up, in the middle of the massive beer selection, and they sell pints of drafts there. It’s like a beer garden inside a convenience store. Very strange.
Seated around the tables were fans of the radio show (presumably), and everybody was drinking like they were entered into some kind of contest.
Weyerbacher had reps on-hand, and were serving up samples of their brews. Tasty. I was familiar with some of them, but a few were new to me. All were interesting and good. The last one I tried, something called Quad, was high-octane. Wow! If I’d purchased a full pint (something I considered for roughly one second), I probably would’ve gone full-Otis.
While enjoying my one-too-many beers, I talked with Surf Reporter Joe T., who couldn’t be a nicer guy. And I spoke with Webster and Nancy, the hosts of the morning show, as well as Bil, the host of the BeerBuzz segment and proprietor of MyBeerBuzz.com. I also shared some of my semi-drunken wisdom with Bosco (sp?), the producer of the morning show. Everybody was really friendly, and I had a great time.
At one point we were standing there (in this weird convenience store with draft beer), and an older woman walked up to us.
“Are you Joe Thomas?” she asked. Then: “And you’re Bosco?” Finally, she looked at me, and said, “Who are you?” I told her my name, and she said, “Oh, I don’t know who that is.” And she turned her back on me, and started talking to the other two. Damn! Good thing my self-esteem was already burned to the ground by eighth grade.
And the next thing I know… Joe has a Flip camera out, and is trying to get the (possibly tipsy) woman to kiss Bosco on the lips. And she did it. I think everything started spiraling out of control shortly after they tapped that keg of Weyerbacher Quad…
I spoke with a couple of people about a super-limited edition Sam Adams beer, called Utopia. It supposedly costs $125 per bottle, and one person said it tastes like soy sauce. Supposedly it’s 20% alcohol, and can’t be sold in Pennsylvania. I’m unclear on the details, but I believe I’ll pass, regardless.
And I vaguely recall someone claiming to have tasted over 10,000 different beers. Can that possibly be true?
Near the end I noticed people coming out of the cooler, with pints of something interesting-looking. I mean, from behind the Budweiser and Coors, and all the other mass-market stuff. I asked an employee of the store about it, and he said they were hand-pumping a beer by Breaker Brewing in there. What the? Did you need to know a secret password to get one of those babies?
And that turned out to be a bridge too far… I HAD to have one of those secret beers, available only to the rich and well-connected. And it was excellent, but when I reached the bottom of the glass I had cartoon blue jays flying around my head. I needed to get out of that place before I entered “the zone,” at which point all bets are off.
Joe asked if I’d sign his copy of Crossroads Road before I left, and I have no idea what I wrote in it. Or if I signed my own name. I went to a Burger King, had a Whopper with cheese (no pickles), and decompressed for a while. I felt a lot better after ingesting that cannonball of fat, and drove home with my eyes darting around, and my hands welded to the steering wheel in the ten and two o’clock positions.
I’m getting old and paranoid. The 1988 me would almost certainly shake his head in disgust if he could see me fretting and worrying in 2011. Oh well.
And by the way… Toney and I went to the Banshee Pub in Scranton on Saturday afternoon, and had several additional kickass microbrews. I had Yards IPA and Founders Centennial IPA. Both were fantastic, and I was careful to keep my shit in check, so as to avoid another white knuckle ride home.
What did you do over the weekend? Was it completely dominated by beer, like mine? Please tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker
Read Crossroads Road on your Kindle!
First? Damn!
My weekend was dominated by serving beers to others. The roof of the bar I work in is about 6 inches from my head and it gets really hot- lots of fridges, no air-con.
This ‘being a student again’ nonsense is starting to wear a bit thin!
I also recently entered into ‘being a student again’ Not an easy thing after a number of years of being ‘boss man’ damn economy…
My weekend was dominated by working, then sleeping, then the continuing saga of moving into my new house. Wow, after 17 years in the old place, the new place is hard to get used to, even though it is a lot nicer.
Top ten?? Yes! “Full Otis”. I will be adding that to my vocabulary.
I had too prophetic a weekend. Kept saying Friday that I hoped to not get shot while manning the liquor store that I work at on the weekends. There have been a rash of attempted robberies in the area in which I work. Got “held up” at knifepoint instead. A guest of our country (I won’t call him illegal, since that seems to stir up sympathizers here) pulled a knife and asked me in broken English to give heem all monies in cash box. Pulled my best Crocodile Dundee attitude out and laughed at his knife, since he was standing four feet from me across a counter. Just shook my head no and laughed at him. It made him angrier and he started screaming shit in Spanish that I didn’t understand. However, I pushed the silent alarm as soon as he pulled the knife, and due to his dumbassery, he kept standing there demanding money while the SPD showed up within two minutes. They carted him away and now I guess I can anticipate one of his “cousins” dropping by for revenge soon.
Also saw the Lightning beat down the Blackhawks in Game One of the conference finals. My neighbor gave me tickets right up on the ice. Hockey is so much better live than on TV. This was the first season in years I couldn’t attend the usual ten games, as I only made it to three.
Angry — you need la pistola behind the counter.
Not allowed, Rat. This store just contributes to the pussification of America. Can’t go after walkouts. Can’t touch them at all. Camera watching me and I will lose the job if I do. They didn’t say anything about verbally mocking them though.
So anyway, FREE LIQUOR boys and girls!! Pick your poison and walk out with it. I can’t stop ya.
Would a baseball bat do? Do a fucking Hank Aaron on his ass. Then, when the policia show up, tell them you were playing pinata with your new amigo.
Agreed about hockey It must be watched live.
Angry,
Keltec P3AT; 11 ounces in your front pocket. I have mine with me 24/7. Nobody has ever detected it in 6 years.
Better judged by 12 than carried by six.
“Better judged by 12 than carried by six.”
Where did that come from? You didn’t make that up, did you?
Likes it a lot.
I think Calvin Coolidge said that.
Wonder if they’d allow those karate stars behind the counter? He could just fling a couple of those into the robber.
You, my friend, lead an interesting life.
If you’re allowed to keep a pet on the counter ( I’ve seen this in American movies e.g. True Grit, etc) then get yourself a cat. I imagine that having a wailing cat thrown at you would be a bit surprising and would allow you the opportunity to run/hide.
I imagine it would also be better than being stabbed/ shot.
Just don’t allow yourself to become emotionally attached to the cat.
Its only there for self defense purposes.
Wouldn’t that just contribute to the “pussification of America”?
I was in Lowe’s a while back and when I walked out the door the alarms went off. I walked back inside and the check out girl sheepishly told me that I should have just kept walking. Told me they weren’t allowed to go after anyone. Never did figure out what set off the alarm. But if you need a new riding mower or gas grill, just go to your local Lowe’s and take it. Apparently, they’ll just wave as you walk off with their merchandise.
Too bad they won’t let you do anything to the criminals. Here’s a video of a place being robbed in my hometown, Waco, TX. Notice that the clerk pulls a gun and starts firing at the degenerate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDKa1HaYE_E
Holy SHIT, AWG!!
Nice!
There might be a claws in his employment contract that prevents it.
Why would you want to endanger yourself over a stolen pack of beer? A stolen pack of SOMEONE ELSE’S beer even, since you’re an employee?
Take a bullet (at what, $15/hr?) protecting someone else’s beer? Doesn’t seem wise…
lmao
Gretchen,
I just woke up the neighbors laughing at that!!
Yeah, the shit finds me somehow.
You, AWG, are a giggling badass!
NIce work! How on earth did you keep your cool? The only defence I would have is to literally shit myself and hope that they would stay away from the mess! And I’m not a small guy! Guess I’m just a pussy……damn….whimper…..
Surprised no one called me on this. I sat at home last night and thought “Did I really say “Blackhawks?” Meant Bruins.My son, NonconfrontationalWhiteBoy, is in Chicago at a basketball camp this week. Maybe that’s why Chicago was on my mind.
Huge dilemma tonight. I have free tickets to Game two of Lightning-Bruins AND the hard to get good seats for Rays-Yankees at the Trop. Tampa is going to be a traffic clusterfuck either way. Which would you go to?
I’d go to the ball game, only because I’m not much of a hockey fan. Sounds like the Rays had a nice come from behind win last night. Also, anytime you’re afforded the opportunity to boo the Yankee’s in person it would seem almost un-American to not attend.
But it is the playoffs, eh.
Hockey game! No doubt!!
Rays, since you already went to a hockey game. I’ve been to hockey games a few times and it just appears to be a cold version of soccer to me. Lots of clusterfuck running around for a 1-0 outcome (not always, but close).
I’ve been to a few hockey games too. SLOW. And I think, BORING. Maybe if there were landmines hidden in the rink it would be better.
You kids are nuts…calling hockey slow and boring while telling someone to attend a baseball game instead? Baseball is right up there with golf as a slow and boring sport to watch!
Perhaps I should have mentioned that the actual hockey game is not in Tampa tonight, but being simulcast at the Forum, and 10-15,000 people are expected to show up. Watching it on a big screen is like watching at your house, but the playoff atmosphere is still there among 15,000 of your closest fan friends. NOW, which one would you go to?
Been waiting for several years for this team to get back to the point they are in the running for the Stanley Cup. I lived in NC last time they were there. If you are not a hockey fan, you would not understand.
The streets of Tampa will still be a clusterfuck, regardless.
I agree with you Bill, as I cannot stand soccer, and your brother chastised me at one point about 8 years ago for such a statement, However, I see subtle differences (such as, in soccer, you do not get to see an opponents teeth get knocked out, and the fistfights), but good point thought on the low scoring event. I am leaning toward the Rays game at this time.
I got drunk in town Friday night, bed around 2.30am. Saturday morning, being massively hungover, I thought it was a good idea to take a bus ride with a 15 kilo car battery to get it replaced. So, Saturday afternoon/evening, I slumped on sofa, watched TV, ate junk food that I washed down with lager shandies. Later on, I switched to red wine to watch Eurovision Song Contest!
Hic!
Sunday was a quiet day – bliss!
A friend of mine bought a bottle of Utopia a few years back. I believe it was in the neighborhood of $250. Either way it tasted like un-carbonated beer syrup, served warm as per the instructions. When you buy the bottle Sam Adams also sends you a glass that was designed to enhance the taste experience of the Utopia (read fancy snifter), I thought that was nice of them since once you realize how it tastes and that you spent $250 on it, the free glass takes a bit of the pain away.
Worked Saturday morning with a hangover from to many biker beers (regular Bud) Friday night. Saturday afternoon was supposed to filled with roughly 4 hours of mowing but it started raining about fifteen minutes after I got home. Helped the neighbor a little later re-plumb his propane bottle for his pool heater. Took longer to find a flaring tool than it actually took to complete the work.
Then we started in on cheap Amercian lager (Natti’s) while we watched the Reds beat those whiny little bitches known to most as the Saint Louis Cardinals. Finished off the night with some Woodford Reserve. After a short non-white knuckle walk, I hit the dormancy platform for a 12 hour mini coma.
Sunday was housework and listened to the Reds beat the WLB’s for a sweep of the series. Alchohol free day on Sunday.
Nattie and Reds. Doesn’t get any better than this !
My brother-in-law and his wife hosted a wine tasting Sat evening in the boonies of WV. It was pretty cool.
Sunday, I whumped up some beer brats w/vandalia onions – first of the grill season. I nearly wept, they were so good.
I don’t remember too much from the weekend because it wasn’t just dominated by beer, it was obliterated by beer. I think I had band practice on Friday, got a new pair of shoes on Saturday and played about three innings of baseball yesterday. That is all that is fit to publicly speak about. Not surprised that today is not going to be very productive.
Hee hee, I have “The Zone” too. According to those who have gone with me to “The Zone” a few times, I go from perfectly fine to bat shit crazy in just one sip. And no one knows when that sip is coming.
Fortunately, my husband has become adept at sussing out the first stage of “The Zone” and is able to quietly usher me off of the premises right as things are about to go off the rails.
Jeff,
Thanks for confirmation of Friday night. Good to know I wasn’t the only one.
Fun night.
BTW, it was “pass the beer nuts.”
This Monday is starting the week off with a big shitbang. Somehow, none of my underwear have made it into the wash in the last couple of weeks. I couldn’t bring myself to put on a pair of my wife’s panties, so I’m wearing a jock strap that’s been in my drawer for god knows how long.
I want to see a picture of that! LOL
Commando! It’s the only way we can truly be free…just don’t get caught in the zipper.
It just feels so wrong. Sitting here at my desk at work, nothing seperating my ass from the chair except a thin layer of slacks.
No power farting today.
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Kramer went commando. “I’m out there Jerry and I’m LOVIN’ every minute of it !!!!! “
Aw hell, two new ones to add to my list: “Full Otis” and “cartoon blue jays”.
Saturday I was all set to drop a few quid in DSW for some much needed shoes, but after limping around Trader Joe’s, and because of this rainy weather, by the time we loaded the groceries in the car, my knee was the size of a bowling ball. Got home, washed down an anti-inflammatory with a slug of chardonnay and fell asleep for a few hours. I woke up, had dinner and sought out a happy pill. Sunday I went form couch to chair to refrigerator, Played some XBox bowling last night instead of watching the Yankees saga.
Yeah, it was a pitiful weekend.
Jeff, a white knuckle ride home is a hell of a lot better than a DWI.
Saturday – Wedding with open bar reception, WOOHOO!
Sunday – Gardening in the yard with the wife, a hangover and a 12 of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale; again…WOOHOO!
Late Sunday afternoon, soaking in the tub with the last beer and reading a cuppa two-tree chapters of Crossroads Road!
This is a great book Mr. Kay! Good writers can be made, but good storytellers are born, and you are one.
Not quite as much beer soaking as I had hoped to have, but that’s ok. I got to visit with my Grandfather this weekend. He’s 87, very lucid, & just had emergency open heart surgery last week. He came home Friday & on Saturday wanted to get on his tractor and plow up the garden. “But it’s going to be too late to plant anything” he said. We had to talk him down & insist he rest up & recover, per his doctors instructions. We’ve come to the conclusion that Pop-Pop will outlive us all, now that his ticker is working properly.
Here’s to your Grandfather’s speedy recovery!
Long live Pop-Pop! I have a lot of old people in my family. They seem to live forever (one of my Great Grandmothers is still alive). One thing that we’ve found is that you don’t want to fuck with their routine once they’re up in years. You know, if they’re 90 and you move them to another state or something, you’re asking for trouble.
We used to call my dad’s father “Pop-Pop”.. Brings back memories.
God bless your Pop. Sadly, the type of American like him are slowly dying off. Nothing left but a bunch of spoiled-ass lazy mofo’ers.
Saturday, work, bullshit. Then hippie wedding and the the track. Liked the wedding, hated the track. I gamble on my own terms, not other people’s.
Friday watched the Thunder get their asses handed to them and had a bartender take my order then immediately ignore me.
Sunday, brunch, salad, mimosa (not bottomless, but huge discount), then Thunder game, go Thunder!
Then drinking, shots and red beans and rice.
Today, drinking, shots, then deep dish pizza.
Reds sweep cards, Go Reds.
went to a native american pow wow in new tripoli, pa. had a good time.
Today is my weekend. Friday was my other. Realtor coming by today. She will be greeted by my Pink Flamingos, single file headed to the southwest.
Started my ‘weekend’ last night at 7pm. My body decided it needed a time out around 1 or so. Got up early and strapped on my hip boots to get ready to wade through todays mud. Bev says my given Indian (or is it Native American) would have been…”Two Beers in the Morning”.
You have to watch the Indians (Native Americans). You turn your back for one minute and they’ll try to steal your land.
My weekend consisted of Saturday all day followed by approximately 24 hours worth of Sunday. I can’t wait for Columbus day to finally arrive. Fukkin’ LOVE me some Columbus Day!
147 days and counting down….
Me too because then the snappy days of October are here.
I dislike the ball sagging heat as much as the next gal, but I’m not ready to fast forward all the way to October. Saturday is supposed to be be 73 and sunny, perfect!
Friday: mybabymommaisanexstripper needed to repair the exhaust on her car this weekend and complained that when she works on her car, her neighbors sit around watching her and drinking beer. She needed to borrow jackstands or ramps to get under the car…we agreed that if she was going to use my ramps she may as well just do the work in my laneway. I’m not a complete jerk, I made dinner for her, our daughter and hernotmine son…then she crawled under the car and went to work while I sat and drank beer.
Saturday: rained all day, set up tent in the basement and my daughter had a couple friends over and “camped”.
Sunday: enjoyed dinner at Arby’s and Fast Five at the theater.
We’ve commenced with full-on work all the time (fruit name deleted) season around my house; although I did have yesterday off. And alone. John worked from early a.m. through about 8:30 p.m. last night and I sat in HIS chair and watched back-to-back never stop Doc Martin episodes on Netflix starting at about 9:30 a.m. until he made me stop at around 11:00 last night. I love the on demand NetFlix like no other current modern convenience. Yeah, so I really like Doc Martin, too. Although I can’t figure out how to get the closed captioning on the streaming part so I’m not sure of everything they say in that foreign accent. I did notice today I said bugger off and sod a few times, though. Brit speak in redneck southern. It’s loverly.
Netflix on demand blows my mind, the selection here in the Great White North is still lacking but the concept and technology are truly f’ing excellent. Except for my beloved GT5/Logitech wheel driving simulator (drinking and driving without getting off the couch!) and the occasioal GTA killing spree, I’m not much of a gamer…but the PS3 is money well spent, if only for 3D capable BluRay and streaming video.
Friday night we went to the local beer-hole. For a change my boyfriend was ready to go home early. Nada Buster Brown. Sit the fuck down and order another beer. This time I wanted to stay out. Made him stay til his knuckles were dragging.
I got THE BOOK Thursday. Finished it this AM. And love every minute of it. In fact I was laughing so hard and loud, I woke my boyfriend up yesterday morning. Jeff…I was actually sad that I finished it. I didn’t want it to end. Thank you for the many laughs. It was fantastic!!
It rained most of the weekend here so I read a couple books and watched the Red Sox kick the Yankees asses. I don’t particularly hate the Yankees but I do like it when the Sox win.
Odd. The bunkercam immediately reminded me of The Magus by John Fowles.
My first thoughts were a little less sublime:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Amazing+Horse+Cover/
Before going commando Cramer told Jerry “But Jerry , my boys gotta have a home ! ”
I have tasted the same beer 10,000 times .
*Ugh* Still no book in my mailbox.
I’m just a wino……red on Friday, white on Saturday (or vice versa), switching the food to go with the merlot or chardonnay. It makes me pathetically tired anymore, but enjoy at least the first 5 glasses, then it’s down hill from there.
Susan,
I’m impressed that you bother using glasses, I certainly don’t.
I usually just cup my hands. If I’m sharing, that is.
I just drink from the box.
I like laying in the bathtub with the wine box spigot propped open and dumping its boxed bag of prison hooch into my mouth.
I suspend mine above my head on an IV stand, then run aquarium tubing from the spigot to my mouth.
Holy fucklebugs. I’ve had this vent directly above my head blasting ice cold air on me for the past 7 hours. I’ve got a heater cranked up to the spontaneous combust level. I’m going to have to wear a goddamn coat of armor tomorrow.
Had our works Christmas party last Friday (yes I know) and drank free Timothy Taylor’s Landlord on draft all night. I was very very greedy, in a way in which only free beer can make you be. I avoided passing out, only through fear of it ending
If you’ve been out that long then that’s not a drunk…that’s a coma! 😉
I try my best! We had the choice of having it subsidised in January, or completerly paid for in May – No brainer!
It gets to a point when you really can’t drink any more beer, but it’s free so you just have to get on with it ’till your arms and legs stop working.
What in the corn-frittered hell?!
http://yfrog.com/gy643fqej
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
My weekend was also dominated by beer, just not the fancy-pants kind. Good old American Macro-Brews with the occasional Scotch thrown in for good measure. “Comfortably Numb” is how I like to live my weekends.
I got some new toilet reading in the mail today. The name Jeff Kay will be oddly near muh hwang for the next few weeks.
Banshee Pub for the win!
Received the signed copy-most excellent and most excellent!
Peace:
B
My Mom flew in from the midwest last week to spend some time with Mrs. SVS and me. At 76 not much walking around, but we did go up to San Francisco to Fisherman’s Wharf and Chinatown for a few hours. Dropped her off at the airport at 6AM Friday, then got the dogs to the kennel and headed to Santa Barbara for a little paragliding practice. Dinner at Brummi’s on State. Got in some short flights at the Eiling’s Park training hill Saturday, then a few hours of kiting practice but the hill was way crowded. Got blown out by wind Sunday, so we hit an antique show in SB that should have been called an optimist’s convention. Those fuckers bumped there collective heads. A couple hours on the hill today, then back to the central valley to get the dogs and relax at home. Been a long time since my weekends involved beer, but I had my lifetime allotment done and started on some elses way before i quit.
I have a weird little store like that too! Just as described, except the beer garden is outdoors. Westover Market is a little mom-and-pop grocery which has been slowly mutating into a kick-ass beer store. Last I checked, they claimed to have 1000 beers in stock
My weekend involved some fancy-pants beer (Sierra Torpedo, Bell’s Two Hearted) and also some Oban, which is a seriously lovely Scotch whisky. The weekend’s main project was making my first test batch of clam chowder, in preparation for a family reunion this summer. There are a few things I’ll change, but it was pretty good for a Version 1.0.
.
Founders is excellent beer ! It’s from my hometown, they have a great bar and tap room. I’ve tried most of ’em, but Dirty Bastard and Devil Dancer are my favorites. Breakfast Stout is also quite good.
This weekend I flew airplanes, had some (way too much) bourbon, and played at rock star for several hours. Flying airplanes is by far my favorite.
Oh and also I read half of some book by some guy. It’s like all my favorite Warner Bros. characters in a Disney movie… can’t put it down!
Flying airplanes rules.
My mailbox is still unsullied by any signed books.
.
Saturday – started my holidays. Awesome. Monday received a $1000 fine from the state building authority because my Ad in the local rag was worded wrong. Ultimate Fucking ASSHOLES! Tuesday, received a $133 speeding fine from the cops. Septic Gashes. Tomorrow, please let me win something and make it all better…..
Jesus man, they have word police down under?
Book arrived! Thanks Jeff!
I got almost two whole pages read so far!
Weekend was awesome hippie wedding thunder win and a steelers fan mowed my lawn.
Last night had deep dish pizza and the reds nailed it again.
10,000 beers? i believe it. My wife and I tasted 300 beers in a year. We did the feat last year and it really was not a huge effort to do it. It actually was fun and peaked great interest from our bartenders and waiters/waitresses when we told them of our goal. I’d highly recommend trying it! We kept track in a spreadsheet and took pictures of menus and beer labels to make sure we didn’t forget the names.
So, 10,000. Could be done in about 10 years I’d guess.