I link the two in my mind: soup and cereal. Because they can both be tasty, but are usually a complete waste of time.
Oh, I don’t mind a good bowl of soup as the first of many things to be eaten during a meal. But when it’s supposed to BE the meal? Well… that’s just outrageous. A bowl of hot broth with a quarter cup of “goodies” at the bottom is not a meal. I don’t care how much you pretend it’s so.
And don’t get me started on the “hearty” soups, either. That’s often the justification: well, it’s very hearty. Ha! That just means my stomach will collapse in thirty minutes, instead of twenty. Like a goddamn volleyball with a hole in it.
That goes for chili, too. Chili is just soup taken to the next level. I’d have to have one of these things full of the stuff, to adequately fill the void. And that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
Man, I’m starting to get angry here, just thinking about soup… Talk about arrogant. Wow!
Cereal as breakfast is also a complete scam. Again, it’s OK if it’s incorporated into a long parade of other foods, but by itself? Don’t make me laugh. May as well skip breakfast altogether, like I do.
Toney: Aren’t you hungry?
Me: Yeah.
Toney: Why don’t you have a bowl of cereal?
Me: It’s OK, I took a deep breath a few minutes ago. That’ll hold me longer.
The only time I eat cereal is at 2:30 am, when I get home from work. Usually I’m not really hungry, but feel the need to shovel something into my mouth. And cereal is something, right?
But even though I rarely eat it, I still have strong opinions on the subject. Go figure.
When it comes to cereal, I have to keep it simple. I like Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies, and that kind of thing. I eat the same stuff they were eating in 1926. And I don’t add sugar or anything, it’s just milk and whatever’s in the box.
The only really sweet cereal I like is Cap’n Crunch. (That’s right, Cap’n.) It’s all sugared-up, which usually disgusts me, but for some reason the standard-issue Cap’n Crunch appeals to me. It’s uncomplicated and straightforward, and tastes like nothing else.
Anything that changes the color of the milk is automatically disqualified. Because that grosses me all the way out. And on a related note… When people snorkle-down all the cereal, then drink the leftover milk across the lip of the bowl like it’s a giant glass — that causes my whole body to go rigid.
Even as a kid I only ate Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies and occasionally Cheerios. I remember having Quisp and Quake too, but those were also simple affairs. Everybody else was eating Count Chocula and Frankenberry and Apple Jacks, but not me. That stuff was blecch.
I know this might come as a shock to some of you, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a single bowl of Lucky Charms. Those little marshmallows bother me… I always viewed it as Alpha-Bits with a dusting of multi-colored pencil erasers. Plus, that little heel-clicking Irishman always rubbed me the wrong way, which didn’t help matters…
So, tell me where I’m wrong. Or, to be more precise, tell me where you think I’m wrong (even though I’m completely right). Use the comments link below.
Also, since we’re talking about cereal — which is often considered kid food — tell us what kind of lunchbox you had in grade school.
I had Hot Wheels, which never fully satisfied me. I was always jealous of kids who had cooler lunchboxes, like Land of the Giants and Planet of the Apes. What about you? Tell us about it, won’t you?
And I’ll be back on Wednesday (my Friday!).
See ya then.
Never said I don’t like cereal, never said I “hate” chili, never said I have an aversion to sugar… Some of these comments are baffling. I’m sitting here scratching my Duke.
Never had the money for real lunchboxes in our family, we always brown bagged it. One year my mom bought one of the plaid suitcase looking lunchboxes from the neighbor’s garage sale for me. Needless to say I stuck with the brown bag.
Chili is definately a meal. Anyone who says it is not is a pussy or making tomato soup with chili powder.
I kind of remember Jeff going on and on about how great bean soup is in the past. Did I dream that?
Jeff, it’s pretty funny to see how skewed the comments can get.
Bikerchick-It must be nice to have a special soup that you serve for playoff games, fuck I need a new team!
@Lee Harvey – Ohhhhhh! chili on top of spaghetti?? I never thought of that before. I’m SO trying that. I don’t know about the cinnamon, though…..
Jeff; I didn’t think for a minute that you hated soup and chili and cereal. I just figured that that they made you mad, and you needed to get that off your chest. You are probalbly just waiting for a sincere apology from soup and cereal.
As a self-appointed defender of “soup” (actually saw this on a Dariy Queen marquee once: WE NOW HAVE “SOUP”), I would like to submit that chicken gumbo, chicken perlew, brunswick stew, Vietnamese noodle soups (i.e. Pho), and Thai soups (i.e. Tom Kha Gai and Tom Yum) make life somewhat more tolerable for me. Not that I am going to engage in any sort of soup jihad or anything like that. Well, maybe just a little soup jihad. Yet another great band name.
@ WB in OH… HA!! Not a Steeler fan, huh. That’s ok. Nobody’s perfect! The soup is a superstition thing. The first time I made it for the crowd, they won. I just continued the trend…so far so good!! They the Champeens!! Not only that…but the Wedding soup is a true pain in the ass to make. (Which is why it is only made once or twice a year) Rolling those little meatballs busts my hump every time.
No Lucky Charms?
But the little marshmallows are so much fun! You can lick them and stick them all over yourself….Fun! Fun! Fun!
Sounds to me like Jeff is flip-flopping more than a waterboarded Liberal. Chili can be a meal if you have a whole sleeve of saltines per bowl. And no tomatoes please…no one puts tomatoes on chile except maybe Martha Stewart…or Dinah Shore (but I think she’s dead so it’s a moot point.)
Ok, now I’m all hungry – my tiny little nipples are tingling and aching to go to France. It’s soup for dinner the rest of the week –
Wed – Taco soup (see recipe post above)
Thurs – Baked Potato soup (see above, Gretchen)
Fri – Mushroom Bisque
Sat – big pot of deer chili with beans (on the side) 😉
Sun – leftover chili on Spaghetti (nod to Lee Harvey)
I with whoever on the Buc Wheats crusade!!
Bikerchick JCIII and I are from just north of the ‘Burg
I went to the Pens parade Monday…what a great day for hockey!!
Lunchbox = football helmets. AFC on one side, NFC on the other. Steel. Back when nannyism didn’t force kids in to soft sided cooler bags. Back when you could actually hurt yourself on playgrounds & household items. Yes – the good old days.
I’m just north of the ‘Burg too!!
Lucky Charms is the greatest f***ing cereal in the world. Bar none. Jesus Jeff – live a little!
Tammie, you are awesome, as always! I’m going to buy a box of Lucky Charms and lick and stick the magically delicious marshmallows all over my wife’s inner thighs tonight. Great idea, Blonde Goddess!
Gretchen Bikerchick JCIII we should have a beer sometime. I met JCIII last year and had a few..nice guy who ended up helping a friend buy a car from his dealership.
Not a fan of the soups…If I can’t stab my dinner with a fork and knife I don’t feel like a man.
Cereal on the other hand…big fan. A cut up banana in bowl of frosted mini wheats is a meal. Those little wheats arent imposing but they soak up like twice their weight in milk and whatever else you throw at em’
Partridge Family lunchbox..oh how I wish I still had it. A busted up rusty one is running around 80 bucks on eBay: http://cgi.ebay.com/The-Partridge-Family-Metal-Lunch-Box-by-Thermos-1971_W0QQitemZ350213156110QQcategoryZ1410QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp3907.m263QQ_trkparmsZalgo%3DSIC%26its%3DI%252BC%26itu%3DFICS%252BUFI%252BUA%252BIA%252BUCI%26otn%3D12%26po%3DLVI%26ps%3D54.
And Cap’n Crunch is the worst..it cuts the roof of my mouth open…I think it has razor blades in it or something. =)
Son of Sam….wouldn’t that be a hoot if we hang at the same wateringholes? Small world fer sure!
A few notes on today’s topics…
Cereal – Can always go for a bowl of Captain Crunch. Or as a snack right out of the box. Vanilla and Peanut Butter flavored Crunch only as a snack though.
You can still get Quisp cereal, but not Quake. You may have to hunt around a bit to find it though. My niece gave me a box last Christmas.
Although I love Cheerios I can’t eat them as they rip my ass apart.
Don’t care for that nasty-assed fruity cereal like Fruit Loops or Trix. And you can keep that marshmallowy gunk like Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Booberry and Lucky Charms.
Watching someone drink that gunk at the bottom of a bowl of cereal sets off my gag reflex. Nasty.
Lunch Boxes – I had a Yogi Bear lunch box. From third grade on, I brown bagged it.
Soup- Most soups are not a satisfying meal by themselves. It must be accompanied by a sandwich to get the job done.
I love Wedding Soup, but I agree it’s a pain in the ass to roll all those little meatballs.
Chili – Yes, a hearty meal. If you’re ever in the Cincinnati area, try some of the local versions. The secret ingredient is cinnamon, which at first thought you’d think wouldn’t work. But it’s tasty. Ladled over spaghetti.
A note about one of my previous posts. I made an inspired typo on the ipod shuffle topic when I meant to type Be Bop Deluxe. Instead I typed Bed Bop Deluxe. That is a great name for a band! If I ever get back to playing music in a group I got dibs on that name!
Last one to the party here…but at least I brought beer.
Lunchbox: Assorted Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters, only got to use it in Head Start (pre-Kindergarten) as from then on most of us public schoolers were on the school lunch program which was less than a dollar a day in the late 70s/early 80s. Only a few kids brought lunches from home, unrefrigerated as some here have mentioned.
Cereal: I’ll still eat a bowl or two of Frosted Flakes about twice a year, but mostly skip breakfast.
I agree that chili can be a killer meal. Coarse ground beef, deer meat, home-mixed chili powder (Anaheim chile powder, paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, cumin, etc) and some good stock and you don’t need the tomatoes or beans. I also make homemade seafood gumbo and get a lotta compliments on that one. Either of those, with a couple beers or six, and you’re gonna be full.
I’m in PGH too…cheers!
@dcinCinci
I grew up in Loveland. Clifton Skyline on the corner there, kitty corner to the old (old…1880’s) fire house is the bomb. The other ones around town too. Gold Star is ok and that place there in Blue Ash…”Blue Ash Chili” down there by Graftons ani’t too far from a tie for second. Nothing like a Skyway 5-way and two cheese coneys at 3am. There is always steam on the windows at a proper chili house.
I don’t get back often enough but when I do…that’s where you’ll find me. Oh…don’t buy the canned chili stuff they sell. It blows big coney winnies!!!
I hear ya DTO!
Look, someone commented on a very old Surf Report update!