My first weekend of freedom in many months is winding down. I’ll be returning to work today, and as surprising as it might sound… I’m not dreading it. I spent many, many hours putting a final “polish” (I use the term loosely) on my manuscript, especially on Friday and Sunday, and it’s warped my brain a little.
Do you know that feeling when you work on something for so long, something all-enveloping, it’s as though you’ve slipped into a parallel universe? Are you familiar with this phenomenon?
Back during my Atlanta days we’d have to do semi-annual inventories at work, and they would last two or three days each. We’d usually put in sixteen hours on both Thursday and Friday, and half of Saturday. And by the end of it I’d feel all strange and wonky, like I didn’t belong in the regular world anymore. It’s hard to explain…
But that’s sort of the way I feel today. And I’m almost welcoming a return to normalcy — the same normalcy I was excited to escape just a few days ago.
It’s completed, though. I took a deep breath and sent the manuscript off to the formatter this morning, and once she starts working her magic, I won’t be able to change anything. So, it’s a big step in the process. I’m not very good at relinquishing control, but it’s pretty much out of my hands at this point.
I have a feeling the next book will be different. I think I’m fully neurotic about this one, because it’s the first. I’ll probably look back on this period of my life, and laugh at me. Wotta douche, I’ll say. I’m fairly certain this is true, but I can’t do anything about it; I’m powerless in my doucheyness.
Yeah, I spent long-ass hours working on the book on Friday and Sunday, but Saturday was fun. The four of us spent the day together, and that’s rare.
We started at a Chinese restaurant, for lunch. We used to go there twice a month on Saturdays, sometimes more often. It’s really good, and it had become a family tradition of sorts. But since I’ve been working on weekends, we’ve been forced to abandon it.
I had cashew chicken, egg drop soup, and an egg roll. It was excellent, as usual. And all of us were in a good mood, at the same time. Also rare.
Then we went running around to some stores, and the mall. I craved human interaction, and mister, I got it. I thought we were in a recession? Holy shitballs… Everywhere was crowded, and there seemed to be an unusually high white trash component to the crowds.
“Are they filming one of those Jerry Springer reunion shows around here somewhere?” I wondered. Even Sam’s Club, which is usually fairly civilized, was infused with buzzcut hicklets, loud fat women in Flashdance shirts, and scrawny men in camouflage and cancer-treatment facial hair.
Toney accused me of being out of touch with the general public, but admitted that the trash quotient seemed to be slightly elevated, for some reason.
I’ve been hemming and hawing about this forever (go figure), but I finally bought a Kindle over the weekend. I got it at Target, because it’s the same price as Amazon’s website, and I didn’t want to wait. I also purchased the leather cover with a light built into it. It’s freaking fantastic.
On Saturday I charged the thing, registered it through my existing Amazon account, and set it up to access our home wireless network. And here’s the first book I downloaded.
Yeah, Amazon paid me for your December (holiday) purchases on Friday, and that’s how I was able to be so extravagant. Thanks again folks, for your support.
Saturday evening we enjoyed a six-pack of Bell’s Two Hearted Ale, and it was incredibly good. It’s a toss-up, I think, between the Two Hearted Ale and Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ale, as my current favorite. Both are excellent. What’s at the top of your microbrew list?
And on Saturday evening Toney and I saw several episodes of Selling New York (on demand), and I watched the final two episodes of 24. During the last scene, when Jack is looking into the security camera at Chloe, I got a little choked up. It was a ridiculous, over-the-top show, but I liked it. I hate to see something good come to an end.
We tried to watch the Oscars last night, but it was shockingly bad. Toney jumped ship early, and I wasn’t far behind. I got on the computer and just listened to it in the background. Am I a bitter old man, or was that thing a turd of the highest order? I couldn’t believe it. Did you watch any of it? What did you think?
And since I told you about my weekend, please tell me about yours. Use the comments link below, to bring us up to date.
And I’ll be back tomorrow.
See you then.
I got myself snowed upon still and once again throughout the Great Pacific Northwest Forest. Very white here today.
And fairly cold. Down to 18 over the weekend with a little breeze. Trying to keep all the neighborhood cats and raccoons well enough fed to survive the cold. Many animal tracks across my back yard this morning.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
Typical weekend as usual. Worked until 3 Saturday afternoon. Hit my local hangout afterwards for a few cold ones. Saturday night was watching the Pittsburgh Penguins game and playing a few on-line poker tournaments.
Yesterday was rest and respite. Slept off and on, completed a few domestic duties.
In the evening I went to my golf league’s organizational meeting for the upcoming 2011 season. First round of league play will be April 6th.
Getting excited, I haven’t played golf since last October.
Matt in Florence says
Congrats on the Kindle, I think you will really enjoy it.
Also, kudos on the Bill Bryson. I really love his work, and enjoyed that book especially.
That’s a good Bryson book. A Walk In The Woods is excellent too, and as one of the slandered natives I found Notes From A Small Island hilarious.
I’m going to be the dissenting voice on Kindles. I have one and I don’t like it very much. I know, I know, that’s like saying bacon is not all that. I think regular Luddite books work just fine.
Bell’s Hopslam Ale.
Can’t recommend it highly enough.
Egg drop soup looks like cum in a bowl.
I don’t watch the Oscars because they don’t have any catagories that matter:
Best Craft Service
Best Boom Mic Operator
Least Intrucsive Executive Producer
Best Use of the Film Budget
Most dedicated Intern
Best Continuity Director
and so on. I made awhole list of them last night while I was supposed to be doing homework and my wife was watching the award show.
So, I take it you’re a big fan of egg drop soup?
Yeah, he likes it served with the Cream of Sum Yung Guy.
Wayne’s World reference, couldn’t resist…
….and the best place to go for these delicacies is at “Thai One On”..
WB in OH says
Can’t wait to download your book onto my new Kindle.
Flying Dog Raging Bitch has been one of my recent favorites. Not real keen on the looks or comments the check out girls make.
We recieved about four inches of rain last night, which melted the six inches of snow that was on the ground. There was water standing in places I’ve never seen before. A neighbor of mine, who lives on the “high ground” even managed to get a foot of water in his finished basement. He’s a bit of an ass clown so I find it pretty funny, he’s already decided that it’s the county’s fault for some recent work to a nearby drainage ditch. Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll electrocute himself trying to dry out his basement. Only it won’t happen because his wife will do all the heavy lifting.
WB in OH says
“i” before “e” except after “c” dumbass!
Joey Jo Jo says
Nah, you’re right, the Oscars sucked ass last night. I was with the wife and 3 sis-in-laws, and had about 9 beers to cushion my head.
Wow, I read that wrong… I saw “the wife and three sis-in-laws” and was trying to figure out how you had 9 cushions for your head instead of eight. I kinda overlooked the word “beer”. 🙂
Ran seven miles barefoot on the beach on Saturday, as I did the previous Saturday. Played basketball for three hours Sunday, as I did the previous Sunday. I take Giant Son along so as I will have to try hard to keep up with him. Why, you ask???
At work, there are 25 people entered in a Biggest Loser contest. A two month period in which the highest weight percentage wins the whole pot. 20 dollahs to enter. 500 dollahs to win. I will win it. Started at 278 pounds on Friday the 18th. Now weigh 252. Eat nothing but zero to one gram fats of foods and exercise vigorously. Goal is to lose 20 percent of body weight, and I will. Pisses everyone off that asks what I will do with the money if I win and I reply “Buy a lot of pizza”
Was duped into watching awards on Sunday night. Only awesome thing about it is Trent Reznor winning an Oscar. OK, Randy Newman winning his 2nd in 20 nominations was cool too. Everything else pretty much sucked.
Dragging stroked up Kirk Douglas out there was unbelievably fucked up. What happened to his earlobes? They were 2/3s of his ears.
I got a buddy who when he puts his mind to something he’ll do it, even just for spite. He’d do something like that to screw over coworkers.
Hell I would if there was a beach in Oklahoma.
I spent most of my weekend at work. I missed every single deadline I was given in 2010 and I’m so far behind I’m considering a arson as a viable remedy to the situation. I’d rather not risk a trip to PMITA prison, so I put in a few extra hours to try and get caught up.
I had planned on painting my newly renovated basement as well, however the taper decided he needed to come back one more time to get everything just right. It’s taken him 6 days to tape one 15 x 25 foot room, which is killing me. The bright side is that he’s a perfectionist, and his work looks fantastic.
Agree with WVULauren on the Hopslam, but man are they proud of that stuff. My local beer-porium only sells singles, no discount for 6 or 12 pack, and charges $3+ a pop, retail. I can understand paying that at a bar, but good grief, that’s expensive for the store, amirite? It’s good, but only very special occasion good.
Bell’s Two Hearted is a much more economical option, and I think almost equally tasty, albeit different. My favorite live music venue down here has it on tap, which is nice.
I had to clean 10 inches of snow off the truck Saturday morning, and move it out of the way when the plow came, but other than that it was an almost perfect weekend: watched curling and NASCAR on TV, seldom moving from the recliner.
Not Oprah says
Pet sat a parrot, bull mastiff and cat. Parrot kept me on my toes throwing stuff around. I
can proudly say that I’ve never watched an awards show in my life. If something quirky happens though, I do check it out on the internet.
Joe T. says
Saw the Globetrotters on Friday. They won!
Agree with you on Bell’s Two Hearted, but Jeff, it’s even better on draft. They have it every so often at the Backyard Ale House in Scranton. Two of my other favorites are Yards Philly Pale Ale and Ommegang’s Three Philosophers.
Haven’t watched the Academy Awards in years. Watching a bunch of Hollywold douches congratulate each other turns my stomach.
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I have been drinking Sierra Nevada Torpedo IPA lately, and enjoying the Full Sail LTD that has just begun arriving at my local State-Run Liquor Store. Not very much selection around here. Only near-beer is sold via other retail outlets.
Last year, I woke up in time to see Jeff Bridges get the award which was very cool. This year, I opted for a Golden Girls marathon. I would like to see The Fighter and The King’s Speech but I can wait until they hit HBO.
Went to return a frying pan at Kohls yesterday. Picked up a few sweaters and shirts and ended up putting them all back. The sale wasn’t that great.
Good luck with the book, Jeff!
We were in Seven Springs since Friday. My Valentines Day gift from my boyfriend. Boy, that place isn’t what it used to be. The prices of everything from drinks to skiing are bend-over-grab-your-ankles-without-even-a-reach-around expensive. For the money we forked out all weekend, we could have gone on an all inclusive trip somewhere hot and sunny for 4-5 days. We rented a condo to the tune of $330/night but got one night refunded because we bitched about the assholes above us making such a racket 24/7. The manager said they had the same complaint from that condo before.
My boyfriend tried to teach me how to snowboard. Our condo faced the slopes so we just practiced in the back yard. I fell twice. Thought I was going over the mountain ass over tits and Sonny Bono into a tree or the lodge…which ever came first. Couldn’t get up on my own when I fell. I finally said…”FUCK THIS SHIT”. I couldn’t stay up long enough to figure out wtf to do or to get the hang of it. And I’m pretty coordinated too. I did much better tubing. What a blast that is!
Saw the second half of the Oscars last night. Bring Billy Crystal back…pleeeeze! Those other two bafoons they had as hosts were bor-ring as hell.
I give you credit for trying snowboarding. I would have been the one spread eagle on the ground while the snow seeped red with my blood as I put a mittened hand up to my gaping pie hole trying to find my teeth in a bush. (That never happened but it’s how I picture the scenario.)
Bill in WV says
You said “teeth in a bush”. Carbonated beverages exiting through the nose is not pleasant.
Holy shit – I didn’t even realize what I typed. Teeth in a bush – painfully descriptive. I for one, have experienced that first hand and it’s not a pleasant sensation.
Madz: LMAO!!!! “Teeth in the bush” while wearing mittens… I think that experience would be worse than the grapefruit sized bruise on my inner thigh from falling in a heap trying to snowboard 3 feet! Thanks for the laugh! That made my day!
Son of Sam says
Made about 400# of sausage Sat.&Sun. Made 4 different flavors. Turned out great. Drank a metric shitload of beer in the process.
Anyone try Ft. Collins Brewing “The Kid” it’s now near the top of my micro list.
You know, there’s something vaguely unsettling about someone with the on-line name “Son of Sam” making sausage at home. Sort of has a Leather Face / Dachau / Hills Have Eyes feel to it.
Root 66 says
-“There’s all kinds of critters in Farmer Brown’s Fritters.”
-“Soylent Green is people!”
I whole-heartedly agree…unsettling indeed!
My current favorite craft beer:
The brewery and tasting room are just 3 miles from my house.
Oscars were so bad, my wife, sister-in-law and mother-in-law got bored went looking for trouble. They decided to cut my son’s hair….. his two-year-old-never-been-cut-before hair. Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh!!!! The kid had beautiful blonde hair half was down his back. It looked like we spent $200 at the salon for curls and highlights. And now, he just looks like the other kids….. *sigh*
“I thought we were in a recession? Holy shitballs… Everywhere was crowded, and there seemed to be an unusually high white trash component to the crowds.”
I believe you experienced “The tax refund hit the bank account-itis” for all the trailer trash folks since they probably don’t file a Schedule A, thus their returns weren’t backed up the IRS’s wazoo because the feds didn’t have the software ready to process said returns until Feb. 14th.
Yep, all those low end earners who suckle at the government teat where out on their yearly spending spree after getting their tax refunds. No wonder none of them can save a plug nickel….they gotta spend it asap!
It boggles my mind how people who don’t actually pay any taxes into the system can still file and get back money that they didn’t pay in to begin with! Between them and the congressional bloodsucking scum and associated PACs and lobbyists, it’s no wonder our govt. is hemorraghing money….
Don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.
Son of Sam says
Agreed! How the fuck can you get back something you didn’t pay? Only in the U.S.A.
Nurse Ratched says
Made through 12 minutes of that shitfest last night
Try a Russian River Blind Pig IPA
Oh, the weekend…..I did taxes. I do ours plus 2 of the teens have to file, so that’s 3 returns times 3(local, state and federal). Plus 2 FAFSAs (college financial aid federal forms), one for each college bound teen.
After that, if I didn’t hate the taste of beer I might have had a case or two….
Shiny Rod says
Weeeeee! I’m finally mobile. Thank you Android.
Is it just me or was James Franco high last night? Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA with an Anne Hathaway chaser. Yumm
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I agree with the many folk who thought that the Oscars lacked in entertainment value. I would suggest to the academy that they try to find someone more interesting to host next year’s ceremony. For example, Charlie Sheen (if he manages to keep himself alive until early next year). I just can’t get enough of Charlie Sheen. Man, I just loves me some Charlie Sheen.
Pretty nice weekend. Son & LIGF spent weekend at lake so we were empty nesting it. Love it. Sigh.
Made a kick-ass Crepes Suzette-like dessert Saturday night. Crepes flambeed with butter, brown sugar and Grand Marnier then stuffed with a whipped mixture of cream cheese, conf sugar and pineapple yogurt . Macerated strawberries on top. Fat, fat, the water rat.
We’re liking the Dogfish Head pretty good. But, I also really like Sweetwater’s offerings. Especially the 420. All these beer rating places can go on and on about the “piney, grapefruity hops.” Still tastes like somebody dropped in Humboldt County bud to me. Love it.
Vicki, that dessert sounds frickin’ amazing!
I did not watch the Oscars. I haven’t seen any movies that were nominated for anything (except Toy Story 3).
I spent the early part of the weekend hanging out in a hospital with my sisters. My mom had a tumor hacked out of her brain on Thursday. It’s amazing how quickly one recovers from such a procedure. She went home on Sunday. We were there to keep dad entertained. I think we failed at that job.
I hope your mother gets better soon! If you made your dad watch the Oscars, then yes, you did fail. But, I’m sure the company was fun, anyhow! 🙂
Shiny Rod says
Trader Joe’s Vintage Ale
Corinne Edwards says
Dear Jeff –
Congratulations on “finishing” your book.
I don’t believe you.
My prediction is 15 minutes before it goes to press you will call in a frenzy –
“Can you just give me 15 minutes? I just want to change one thing!”
Every author I have ever met did the same thing.
Let me know if I am right.
Looking forwrd to reading it. Good luck!
Mmm, Bell’s two-hearted. That’s a very fine beer. In fact, I’ve never tasted a Bell’s product that was less than outstanding. They are one of my favorite-est breweries right now. Dogfish 60 is also excellent; sometimes I’ll make a “Dogfish 75” by mixing equal parts of their 60 and 90. Another one that’s vaguely similar – and somewhat local to you, Jeff – is Weyerbacher’s Hops Infusion. It’s got that hoppy, slightly sweet pale ale-ness that works so well. In my fridge right now is the aforementioned Two-Hearted, and also some “Brew Free or Die” from the 21st Amendment Brewing Co. And a six of Sierra Torpedo, my affection for which is waning, very slowly.
And Amazon is paying *now* for mid-December sales? Granted I don’t know the business, but doesn’t it seem that they’re dragging their feet just a bit? Seems to me that when I *buy* something from them, they aren’t willing to wait 10 weeks for payment.
I had an Oscar-free evening. Turns out I was right to think it would be brown and smelly.
Must agree. Weyerbacher put out an Octoberfest beer late September and I bought a case. Outstanding.
Went back to the beer store and bought the last 3 remaining cases in stock. Lasted about 2 weeks. Pissed that I could not find any more locally. Well, next year.
I have a movie to recommend, Jeff. It’s got all the trashiness one can pack into a two hour movie. I spent most of the documentary with my mouth hanging open.
The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
Phil Jett says
Watched that last night. Wow…and people wonder why there are all those WV stereotypes. This documentary won’t help at all.
Traveled from western MA to Buffalo NY Friday during a lovely slushy-snow storm. Very glad I was not the one driving and that we were in a heavily loaded SUV, because tons of little tiny cars went sliding off the highway. Discovered that the Best Western near the Buffalo airport has the hardest beds on the planet (I’ve slept on uncarpeted floors that were softer). Saturday I saw a friend get given an important award in a club that most of my friends are in and returned home Sunday.
Good times with good people.
May we assume it’s not the Mile High Club?
I watch the Oscars every year & this year I was downright pissed. James Franco was so stoned he could barely stand upright. Half the time it looked like a rod was holding him in place & don’t even get me started on that god-awful shit-smirk he had all night. He didn’t even attempt to have a good time.
And Anne Hathaway? Nothing about her screams comedy to me. In fact, the only thing that screams to me when she is on the screen is the fact that we are of similar age & she is a bazillionaire for mugging it up on camera & I am broke for breaking my ass in a REAL job. I woulda traded her that hosting gig for half of what she got paid & probably coulda killed it a lot better than she did. Ugh.
And was I the only one annoyed that they brought out Kirk Douglas? I know he’s an icon but they don’t need to parade him on stage every year to a standing ovation to let us know he’s alive. He needed subtitles & whenever they panned the audience there would be confused laughter, as if an “APPLAUSE APPLAUSE” sign was flashing over his head.
I know this is sick of me, but I was kinda hoping they’d give homage to Zsa Zsa’s dead leg during the ‘In Memorium’ segment. That would have been awesome!
Friday night I drank and went and saw a Weezer cover band.
Can anyone guess their name?
Saturday I went into work for a minute then drank and was home by 11 and in bed by 1, not a fan.
Sunday did nothing, printed some shit out at work, drank, had dinner, drank more.
As soon as I log off here I’m going drinking.
Tonight is a PBR and shot of trashcan punch (everclear and red juice) for 3 bucks.
Sneezer, of course.
WB in OH says
I personally like Dick Teezer the best. Wonder what type of band that would be. Ha.
Limey wins it. Shitty name for a weezer cover band. Be more appropriate for phish.
Henati Fan Gimp and the Others would be better…
If you like the two hearted ale, you’ll really like Troeg’s Nugget Nectar. Not as absolutely bitter as the Hopslam. It’s my number one right now, but it’s seasonal, so I’m nursing the one 6 pack that I was able to get hold of.
JR in Sammamish says
I also bought a Kindle about month ago, with the leather case w/ built in light. I love it so much. I never thought I would like it, but the electronic ink makes it so easy to read.
And the Thunderbolt Kid is good too. I am reading, per your recommendation, Youth in Revolt. I’m about 38% through it. Not sure if I like it too much.
One reason I don’t read electronically is that I never want to know when I’m 38% through the book. I fully respect your right to choose your favorite reading mode and I always dig it when people are reading, but I guess it’s not my style. Maybe I’ll change my mind somewhere down the line.
WB in OH says
It is a little odd looking at the bottom of the thing and seeing the percentage of completed book versus a page number. It’s also a pain if you want to flip back a re-read something from earlier in the book.
A couple of positives, no more trying to figure where to stack books on my crowded book shelves and it’s very easy to read and turn pabes one handed, freeing up your other hand for drinking and smoking.
Course there is a toss up between saving trees and laying off lumberjacks, papermill workers and printers.
Chuck in Belpre says
If I had to buy all the books I read I would be up to my eyes in debt. Libraries are my friends. But a Kindle looks cool, so if it works for you I’m happy for you. I can’t justify the expense. I’m po’. =8^-)
JR in Sammamish says
I stopped drinking starbucks 4+ times a week so I can spend my money on books! Our library sucks. If you want to read a series, they only have book 1,4 & 19.
Also, the newest OS has page numbers!
Dave's not here, man says
Snowed all day Friday, which is good because work got cancelled. But it sucked because I had so much snow to shovel, so it kinda evened out. Except that I was sore Saturday from allt he shoveling and didn’t do much of anything.
What’s with all the beer snobbery? Sounding like a bunch of wine tasters in here. PBR me!!
Lucie in Tampa says
My fav is Dogfish Head Midas Touch…. Also the Dogfish Head Palo Santo, but be careful with that one! I am looking forward to trying the Punk (pumpkin) in September!!!