We spent a good part of the weekend at the regional high school championship swim meet, in Wilkes-Barre, standing mashed into the corner of a balcony, attempting to occasionally catch a glimpse of the water. It was complete pandemonium, and we never got to actually sit down; it was standing room only, and my ass never met bleacher. Not even for a second.
But our son did well, and it was exciting. He received an individual medal, and another one as part of a relay team. During the individual event a security guard noticed Toney and me struggling to see, and hollered at a bunch of people to move. He was trying to manage the area, so parents could watch their kids race. I appreciated his efforts; against all odds we got to watch the entire event, unobstructed.
My high school didn’t have a swim team (or even a pool), but I know I would’ve been dismissive of the whole thing. I was a bit of an asshole… But swimming at that level demands an incredible commitment, and I have great admiration for all of them. They work themselves down to a smoldering nub.
People say today’s teenagers are lazy, but not the swimmers. Our son LIVES at the pool; he attends practice for hours every day (including Saturdays), and often goes before school and after. For the past two weeks he’s been swimming laps while wearing – for all intents and purposes – a full-blown sweatsuit. It’s to create drag, and make them work harder in the water. I would’ve said funk dat, and went home and listened to records.
I know it’s kind of sappy, but as I was standing in that balcony Friday and Saturday night, in the middle of raucous insanity, I got a little choked up a few times. I watched our son and his teammates, both boys and girls, supporting one another and seeming genuinely happy about their friends’ achievements. They spend so much time together they’re almost like a war platoon, and have formed the kind of bond many of us will never know. It’s pretty damn cool.
While we were at the meet on Saturday, an older man walked up to me and said, “Where have I seen you before?”
“Don’t know,” I said, since this person was a complete stranger.
“Where do you live?” he asked, and I told him. But that didn’t do the trick, and he said, “Are you a state trooper?”
I almost busted out laughing.
“Well, I never forget a face, and I’ve seen yours before,” he insisted, before walking away, a little irritated.
Weird, man… But me, a state trooper? Hilarious. It would never be allowed to happen, because nothing good could come from such a scenario. Ya know?
Years ago, in Atlanta, Toney and I were in a restaurant called (get this) Lettuce Souprise You. It was a gigantic salad bar, with six or eight kinds of soup, and a bakery. We loved it, despite its ridiculous name.
The place was packed, as usual. And I was walking through there with a tray, when some guy pointed at me from across the room, and hollered, “I know you! You’re a Chattahoochee Dancer!!”
WTF? I thought I heard a needle being ripped off an album, the place went silent, and every head turned my way. A Chattahoochee Dancer?! What the??
The guy saw my reaction, and said, “Oh, maybe not. Sorry.” And when I arrived at the table Toney was already beet-red with laughter, and couldn’t stop. She just kept laughing and laughing. Even today, when one of us brings it up, she thinks it’s one of the most hilarious things ever. I guess I’m just not the dancer-type?
For a Question of the Day, I’d like to know if you’ve ever been the victim of mistaken identity. If so, please tell us about it. Also, has anyone given you the “Where do I know you from?” interrogation? We’re going to need to know all about it. Use the comments link below.
Plus, on a semi-related note, have you ever been told you resemble someone famous?
And I’m only working Sunday and Monday this week, so it’s already half-over for me. How’s that for kick-ass? And tomorrow I should receive my new phone in the mail. I went with the Droid Bionic, after many months of hemming and hawing. I read more articles about Verizon Smartphones, than any human should endure. The Bionic seems to be the right choice for me, and when they dropped the price on it a few days ago… my decision was made.
You guys have yourselves a great day.
I’ll see ya tomorrow!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada
huh?
Bam. Number 2.
I’ve been mistaken for various folks before, but none of those stories are as potentially entertaining as the time I mistook someone else…
I had a childhood friend growing up, and I knew the guy all the way through high school. I went away to college, and he went to jail, so we lost touch. But he got really big (in the fat kinda way), and I ran into him years later at a bar. It was great seeing him again, and he told me he worked at a different bar across town as a cook. After the kitchen closed he would hang out at the bar and drink himself stupid.
Well, one night, after having quite a few myself, I ended up at his place of employment. And there, off standing at a table with a bunch of other “regular” looking types, was my old friend, the same huge build, and the same pony tail. So, I did what any old drunk friend would do, I jumped on his big back and pretended to screw him while yelling “You like that, big boy!?” in his ear, in front of his friends. The problem was…. umm, yeah… it wasn’t him.
When that guy turned his head and I realized it wasn’t my friend, but a humongous stranger, I immediately fell off of him onto my ass. It would have hurt, except I think the shit in my pants cushioned the fall. I was lucky, very lucky, that the guy had a great sense of humor about it, and ended up laughing it off.
That’s pretty entertaining, if you ask me. Hilarious!
Now THAT’S funny!
This is HYSTERICAL! Thanks for the laugh!
That’s freakin awesome. I can’t stop tears from streaming. HA!
I wish I had done that! FUNNY!
I have been told by quite a few people that I “have Barbara Streisand’s eyes. ??? I also get the “chick on that Entertainment Tonight-type show”. Which I figured out was Debra Norville.
Working in a Dr’s office, I get “don’t I know you from somewhere??” a lot. And the answer is usually “Oh hells no”.
I’m frequently mistaken for someone who gives a shit.
back in the late 70’s, I had long curly black hair, a big beard and round glasses……I got called Tommy Chong, and Jerry Garcia a lot. I walked into a pub one day and heard from across the room ” Hey, where’s Cheech ? “, followed by drunken laughter.
Victim of mistaken identity? Sure! And it wasn’t pleasant. In the interest of keeping this reply brief, I’ll link to the bloody details as presented on my website:
Faulty Aiming of Fear Factor
At various times throughout my life I have been told I look like James Hetfield, Kyle Petty, and Davy Jones (R.I.P.).
Way back in the early days of the internets, I once had a woman send me a bunch of nude photos of herself – she thought I was someone else.
I have three co-workers who also happen to be friends. Recently, two of them said I look like the guy who is supposed to be Hitler’s son. When I saw the photo, I was not too happy.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2102796/Did-Hitler-father-lovechild-New-claims-emerge-Fuhrer-son-Frenchwoman.html
I now have one co-worker who is a friend.
About 10 years ago, a gaggle of teenagers in New Orleans thought I was Kid Rock. I was insulted. Maybe I look like Kid Rock if he had just happened to go on a 6 month meth bender.
Kid Rock always looks like he’s just been on a 6-month meth bender.
Wasn’t your picture in that newspaper article about your book you linked a while back? Maybe the guy recognized you from there.
I had a drug dealing “twin” in this city years back. Who even drove the same car as I did. Which accounted for numerous bullshit stops and getting followed by the cops and people asking to buy a hit. If it wasn’t for all the cop stops, I did consider bagging oregano and flour to sell to these idiots.
no stories about mistaken id with me, but a friend of mine gets mistaken for Gary Oldman all the time. His fans insist he sign autographs.
I was mistaken as a musician during my glamorous days working in the record store. I don’t know who I was supposed to be but I was asked more than once how my band was doing. A contributing editor from Rolling Stone once asked me how the new album was coming along. I told him fine.
Now that I think about it, I guess it’s time for some of these people to ask if my band is going to do a reunion tour.
Boy, that Rolling Stones guy sure was hip to the scene, wasn’t he?
Damn – Stone!
People tell me I look like David Cross so much I just started being David Cross all the time. Turns out his life is crap.
A random person at a work conference once insisted that he and I knew each other from somewhere… he did look vaguely familiar, but we couldn’t figure out the connection. I wouldn’t doubt that we knew each other though, since I’ve been in the same industry for eight years.
And I’ve been told a number of times that I look like Jude Law or Jim Halpert (John Krasinski)… it’s becoming less frequent though, as my hair slowly falls out. In a couple of years, people will be comparing me to Clint Howard.
I’ve had the same iPhone 3G for four years now, so I’m also in the market for a new phone. I was going to buy either the HTC Vivid or the Samsung Galaxy S II Skyrocket… but now I’m waiting for the release of the Skyrocket HD. This is probably a bad idea though, since the release date is just “early 2012”.
or Ron Howarrd….:)
I look quite a bit like a guy on the Parkersburg City Council. A couple times a year I get cornered by some random asshole ranting about a clogged drainage ditch or a pothole. I just smile and grip their shoulder in a concerned politician kind of way and tell them I will bring it up at the next meeting.
I hate when swim trunks form a perfect vacuum packed seal against people crotch zone.
A taxi driver in Taipei told me once I look like Nicholas Cage. I don’t think so, but then again, he was squinting pretty hard.
I think he meant Nichoras Cage.
Henderson: Check this out!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/77640543/nicolas-cage-is-a-vampire
I bet I ate at that same Lettuce Soup-rise you when I went to Tech. I remember my best friend was a wide-eyed dork from a town of like 26 people in upstate NY. One of the servers at the restaurant was from Ghana, and my friend had seemingly never seen a black guy, and stood there at the soup trough for about ten minutes chatting him up about whether he ever killed a wildebeest, or whatever.
But decent food, good price, unlimited quantities… can’t beat it!
Joey Jo Jo
On East Ponce, I’m guessing. 🙂
Maybe. ‘Sbeen 20 years…
And yes, while I was behind the cash register at a gas station, I was asked by a 7-or-8-year-old kid whether I was Mario Batali. Yeah, I just sling Diesel and Mickey’s Malt Liquor as a second income…
Joey Jo Jo
i got rachel weiz and kathreen mcphee, i sometimes get the dont i know you line from some random guy trying to use it as a pick up line.
I swim a little like Joe Frazier.
If someone ever asks me if I am someone famous, I just tell them that Yes; I am Shakespeare Hemingway, and I need 2 dollars for a bus ticket to Uranus.
The summer before my senior year of high school started a little show began to air called “Dawson’s Creek.” Back then I was 5’2″, about 95 lbs. with dark brown hair & brown eyes.
At the time the show began not too many people knew who Katie Holmes was. Also at this time I had been having “issues” with a crazy girl at my school who started stalking me (long story). It turned into a full-blown crazy fest which eventually led to the girl being arrested (after months of harassment) & me being assigned a full-time security guard at school after she made death threats against me. Well, while all this was going down I was returning to my Senior year after a couple months out & everyone saw me with my security guard & assumed I had been out of school so much because I was really Katie Holmes & was starring in that show. It was ridiculous, but once the rumor spread it flew. People didn’t buy the stalker thing (even though the girl had been expelled) & assumed “Katie Holmes” was my stage name. I had never heard of Katie Holmes, or Dawson’s Creek (still have never seen an episode!) & thought everyone was batshit.
About a month after all this began my dad took me to Hollywood to a screening of some movie & when we were walking in some little boy, about 7 or so started freaking out screaming “Katie! Katie!” Since my name isn’t Katie we hadn’t noticed until the kid’s mother came up, pen in hand wanting me to autograph a napkin for her son! We told her I wasn’t Katie Holmes & the kid walked away disappointed. Very strange…
Fast forward 15 years & I’ve gained about 70 lbs., have lightened my hair & no longer resemble Mrs. Cruise.
In the 80s I was seated at a conference room table with some guy trying to sell our company insurance when he blurted out that I look just like Karen Valentine! TF??? If you’re trying to sell me something don’t tell me I look like some “star” from a 1969 sitcom that very few people heard of. It was the 80s – tell me Molly Ringwald, Melanie Griffith or Julia Roberts if you want to win a sale.
Beloved was a victim of identity theft. We traced it to stolen medical records. What a friggin’ mess that was.
And on a final note, my brother’s celebrity look-a-likeness went from Greg Brady when he was a young kid to a dead ringer as Frank Zappa when he got older. Wrap your head around that mutation.
We have a restaurant like that here in Fort Worth – Souper Salad. Same basic premise; Soups, salads, baked potatoes, and some delicious blueberry bread. Although no one has ever accused me of being a dance while I was dining there.
I’ve never been compared to a celebrity but I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I look like their cousin, a friends cousin, a neighbor, etc. At least 15 or 20 times. It’s weird. And annoying.
Occasionally someone will say “I know you from somewhere”, and they’ll stand there and stare at me in silence while they try to figure it out. After several minutes of uncomfortable awkwardness I’ll have to say, “no you don’t, I just have a familiar face.” The normal reaction is a disappointed “oh” as I walk away.
Never mistaken for anyone other than myself, but ages ago a friend of mine got pulled over by the cops in our rinky-dink town for a busted tail light and was dragged off to the hooscow for hours, all the time being questioned about things he had no idea about. Turns out there was another guy with an extensive amount of warrants out for his arrest who had the same first name and whose last name was one letter different than my buddy’s. After the whole mess was cleared up the cops turned him loose without any apology and refused to give him a ride back to his car…made his mom come and get him…
Imagine that: small town cops being dickheads.
My girlfriend looks a little like Charieze Theron…and a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Zach Galifianakis
I look like Drew Carey without the money…and before he lost 60 lbs. But, my brother looks like Tom Selleck if he shaved off the stash.
I’ve been told I look like Christopher Reeve. But that was back when I was younger and in shape. It was also back when Christopher Reeve was not only alive, but also had yet to become the opposite of Christopher Walken.
.
Oh, for goodness sake, get off your high horse.
Back in high school I had a green kawasaki motorcycle and wore an orange full face motorcycle helmet. Turns out that some perv from two towns over had the same bike and also wore a helmet like mine. Why does this matter you ask? Well, the so called “perv” used to flash his junk at girls at the local lake. I went over to that same lake once after working at the burger place and a couple of dads almost beat the crap out of me…thinking I was the flasher perv. Fortunately one of the girls told her dad that I wasn’t the guy who flashed her. Thanks to her, I still have my teeth. I bought a new helmet the next day.
Several people have told me I look like Jack Nicholson. But, I am mid-forties and he is like 75, so they can go fuck themselves.
I look a lot like Rush Limbaugh. You wouldn’t believe the trouble I have had lately with advertisers!
Lee you ignorant slut!
Today is my last day for a while. Couple days off, then a week of vacation, then sick leave to have a couple kidnney stones blasted in Anchorage, then down to Seattle to get tested for a liver transplant. I’ve got two brothers and two sisters lined up as partials, but I really don’t want to go that route. After that, it’s onto treatment for the Hep C.
As for looking like someone, a lot of people say I remind them of John Denver. Hopefully it’s the live John Denver, and not what he looks like now.
Starfish poop?
Clint…
Bood luck, compadre. Let us know how it goes when you get a chance.
John
I can’t say enough good about the sport of Swimming. My daughter joined the Y team when she was nine and swam YMCA, USAS, and finally High School. She was team captain her last two years of High School. She was almost never the fastest swimmer, but she loved the sport and she developed an incredible focus, work ethic, and leadership qualities that spilled over into the other aspects of her life. Not to mention the physical benefits. Her cardiovascular system is amazingly strong to this day. And because of the demands of year round training, she and her fellow swimmers pretty much avoided smoking, drinking and drug use. Swimmers are a great peer group for a kid. I quickly realized how miserable it can be in the stands at a pool and became a swim official, which was tremendously rewarding in itself.
My brother and cousins did cross country running. I’d say more or less the same for them. I did it too but I was never dedicated and hate running to this day.
Plus being outside in the fall air is way better than inside a chlorine factory.
Chlorine: Breakfast of Champions!
I thought the title of this update included swimming excrement. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.
Having spent many painful hours at swim meets myself I appreciated your description of the meet. Many are like that, and like mainer, I went to officiating to make the meets more interesting.
My kids did get a lot out of it, including half of their college education paid for in schools they wanted. It’s been well worth it. We’ll have a happy/sad time next year when my daughter finishes her career.