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Merry Christmas from the Bunker!

December 24, 2011 By Jeff 47 Comments

Merry Christmas, Surf Reporters!  I meant to update yesterday, but everybody was home and I got sidetracked.  So, this will be a quick one to get that pizza bulb off the top of the page.  That thing was bugging me, for some reason.

Yesterday afternoon we went to the mall, and Sam’s, for a few last minute purchases.  It wasn’t fun, and I was bitching up a storm.  For one thing, why are there so many shitbags out there?  So many fake Jersey Shore assholes, and 1999 Eminem wannabes?  Not to mention all the stupid-ass piercings and air hockey pucks imbedded in earlobes.  It’s ludicrous.

And the funny thing?  They all think they’re being unique and different, while adopting the uniform:  “I want to be different, like all my friends.”  Oh, I had a running commentary going; I’m very good at the running commentaries.

On our way home we stopped at the beer store, and I bought a case of Sierra Nevada.  The place was complete pandemonium, and people were taking beer stacks to their cars on hand trucks.  The person in front of me spent $187.  You know, to prepare for the coming religious holiday.

And last night we watched A Christmas Story, which never gets old.

I saw that thing in a theater, a million years ago, when it was a new release.  It was a small movie, as I recall, released with no hype.  I think I became interested after Siskel and Ebert raved.  I loved it, and for a long time it felt like I was the only person in the world who’d seen it.  I’d bring it up from time to time, and people didn’t know what the hell I was talking about.  Now, of course, it’s rightfully become a holiday classic.

On the other end o’ the spectrum, I only started watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation during the past three or four years.  I never saw it before that.  People would make references to it, and I was completely in the dark.  I can’t really explain this, it just kinda happened.

Also, I’ve probably only seen It’s a Wonderful Life twice, during my entire, ridiculous 49 years.  I know people love it, but I don’t know much about it.  I’ve probably watched it once, all the way through, and have seen various scenes out of context, here and there.  And that’s it.

I’ve never seen Miracle on 34th Street, and have no interest in correcting the situation.  And I can’t stand The Nightmare Before Christmas.  I think you need to have an air hockey puck in your ear to appreciate that movie.

Tonight we’re going to watch Elf, which we enjoy.  I know some people mock that film, but I like it.  It’s funny every time.

I can’t get anyone to watch The Homecoming with me, which irritates me.  The boys say they “hate” it, which cuts almost as deep as when they say baseball is boring.  Are they really my children??  How could a person hate the Waltons’ Christmas movie?  It’s a stone-cold classic.

Anyway, I think I’m going to start grazing now, and visiting the downstairs fridge.  I hope all of you have a great holiday.  I’ll be back on Monday, or maybe Tuesday.  I have a feeling Monday might be a bit crazy, so I’m hedging my bets here.

For a Question, why not tell us about your food and drink lineup for the next couple of days?  Do you do anything special, like lasagna (a co-worker) or barbecued beef (us)?  Or is it the traditional menu?  Also, what holiday movies/shows have you watched this year?  Please use the comments link below.

Merry Christmas, folks!

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. BoMama says

    December 24, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Merry Christmas Jeff!

    Reply
  2. ashton says

    December 24, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Staying home. Got a few bottles of champagne, wine, beer, pate, cheeses, and stuff to make red beans and BBQ shrimp. Then Monday is tailgating and football.

    It’s good staying home. Merry Christmas, y’all!!

    Second!!

    Reply
  3. Mrs. L. Bangs says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Happy Christmas to all!!

    While Lester snores this evening, I’l probably screen Bells of St. Mary’s – I know, I know – Ole Bing beat the stuffing out of his kids, but he puts me in the Holiday Spirit anyway!

    Reply
  4. Greg says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the Kay Family and all you great Surf Reporters!

    Reply
  5. Gordion Knott says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    Vape, pizza, chocolate cake. In that order.

    Reply
  6. Bill in WV says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    Doing the Christmas thing with my fambly tonight and Dee’s tribe tomorrow. Will be ready to explode by then, not the angry type, the food way.

    Merry Christmas you bastards !!

    Reply
  7. johnthebasket says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:25 pm

    We usually enjoy vape on the eve and ham and turkey on the morrow, as we will this year.

    Happy Christmas to Jeff and the Reporters, which wouldn’t be an entirely bad name for a garage band. Hope everyone finds something to enjoy and someone to hug.

    john

    Reply
  8. johnthebasket says

    December 24, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Failed to mention that we’ve just watched “The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle”, and will watch “The Ref” tonight. Also listened to “The Shepherd” by Frederick Forsyth, read by Alan Maitland on the CBC.

    john

    Reply
  9. Jeff says

    December 24, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    We just went for our traditional Christmas Eve martini. It’s the only one I’ll have all year, because I don’t go for that kind of thing. But Christmas Eve REQUIRES a single martini to kick off the night’s festivities.

    Reply
  10. Vicki says

    December 24, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    I just put a standing rib roast slathered in garlic and rosemary into the oven and had my first gin & tonic. We’ll both be ready about 7:30. Dinner first, then throwing around wrapping paper. Tradition. Tomorrow we go to the movies for Lisbeth Salander.

    Reply
  11. Theresa says

    December 24, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    i loooove elf! best christmas movie ever!

    Reply
  12. CitizenX says

    December 24, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    ? Merry Christmas ?
    To all of the surf reporters everywhere!
    And of course to
    Jeff, Toney & The Secrets!

    Heh. Great band name.

    Reply
  13. Chuck In Bama says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Barbecued turkey for our feast, among other things.
    Watched Christmas Vacation night before last and will try to see Christmas Story before end of day tomorrow. Haven’t watched The Homecoming in ages; maybe it’s time again.

    Merry Christmas to all you loveable perverts!!!!!!

    Reply
  14. Chuck in Belpre says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Merry Christmas, everyone! Dinner Christmas Day with the fambly. One sister is in the hospital so I’ll go see her. Hope the other drivers don’t cause me to go nuclear.

    Cheers.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 24, 2011 at 10:35 pm

      Chuck…

      My best thoughts and wishes for your sister. And you too, for that matter. Merry Christmas to you both.

      john

      Reply
      • Chuck in Belpre says

        December 24, 2011 at 11:38 pm

        Thanks…really means a lot. A certain relationship has apparently ended so I appreciate my WVSR friends even more.
        Hope you have a wonderful holiday.

        Reply
    • Greg says

      December 24, 2011 at 11:55 pm

      If you need anything, you know I’m close. It’s Wildt on 36th St. in the phone book.

      Reply
      • Chuck in Belpre says

        December 25, 2011 at 12:11 am

        Thanks, Greg. I appreciate it.
        =8^-)

        Reply
        • Greg says

          December 25, 2011 at 12:50 am

          Always there for you.

          Reply
  15. Joey Jo Jo says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    “Yesterday afternoon we went to the mall, and Sam’s, for a few last minute purchases. It wasn’t fun, and I was bitching up a storm. For one thing, why are there so many shitbags out there?”

    Fucking classic. Sounds like something I say every god damn day.

    Reply
  16. Joey Jo Jo says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    “The place was complete pandemonium, and people were taking beer stacks to their cars on hand trucks. The person in front of me spent $187. You know, to prepare for the coming religious holiday.”

    Yep. I sell, among other things, scratch-off lottery tickets. Every ass-face wants to give them as stocking stuffers. Between 6 AM and 12 noon, I sold almost $500 worth, about ten times the usual amount, including one guy who bought 150 of the same $1 ticket. “It’s the only way to win,” he said. *headsmack*

    Reply
  17. Alice in WV says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    I just watched Home for the Holidays. love it! and It’s a Wonderful Life was on the bus I rode to NYC earlier in the month. It was the first time I’ve watched it beginning to end in many, many years. I could go for some Elf about now.

    Merry Christmas to all the Surf Reporters out there, and to THE Surf Reporter, Mr. Kay and his fambly.

    Reply
  18. Joey Jo Jo says

    December 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Regarding the question – I’m a bachelor for about 48 hours. So about three liters of vodka and a couple of pizzas.

    Reply
  19. Rat Bastard says

    December 24, 2011 at 8:10 pm

    Jeff – I saw A Christmas Story when it came out and it seemed like a cult classic until the mid 90s.

    Drinking plans: lots of cheap beer and conversations with old friends.

    Bikerchick: corners will be licked clean in yer honor.

    Merry Fuckin’ Christ-mash, everyone!

    Reply
  20. emily says

    December 24, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    We are in Miami this year waiting on going to Key West on Monday, so we are eating whatever is available. I’m bitching about this but really its a first world problem and I’m lucky to be looking for reservations. The good news is that I thought ahead and brought a case of Sam Adams Latitude 48 IPA. As long as I’ve got beer I will survive!

    Reply
  21. TMM says

    December 24, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    “They all think they’re being unique and different, while adopting the uniform: “I want to be different, like all my friends.” ”

    I’ve always called them NCC’ers (non-conformance conformers)

    Merry Christmas

    Reply
  22. hot fuzz says

    December 24, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    Watching Jaws(you’re gonna need a bigger boat) with the girl right now. Well sort of – she’s asleep on the couch. The wife and the boy are already in bed. Holiday Inn is on later so I’ll pvr it for tomorrow.

    Last year we had a Dexter marathon. This year it will be either The Pacific (pvr’d) or Hell on Wheels (also on pvr). We haven’t seen either yet so win either way.

    Jeff – I’d watch The Homecoming with you bud.

    Merry Christmas my digital friends.

    Reply
  23. dto says

    December 25, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Bev called tonight while she opened the last of her presents I’ve been sending her from out here on the road…(using the AmaSanta Clausezon.com link). Some Bose desktop speakers for her…well…desk top computer. I also bought her a nose hair trimmer (gift wrapped none the less) thank you very much among other things.

    Jeff…thanks for taking the trouble to keep the lights turned on out here on the perimeter of the bunker. My best to and your family.

    I went to a place to eat today and they were packed and taking names for a table. When she asked me mine I said…George Baily….

    dto…reporting from the Hammond, Indiana Motel 6 under the I-80/94 eastbound overpass. If I wasn’t already crazy this shit would make me insane

    Reply
  24. Chuck in Belpre says

    December 25, 2011 at 12:34 am

    Sorry you can’t be home. Be careful out there.

    Reply
  25. putski says

    December 25, 2011 at 12:44 am

    Merry Christmas, Jeff. From Cairns, Australia. Thanks for all the laughs!
    Food: Barbeque chicken of many different shapes and forms, fried rice, salads, and trifle!
    Drink: 5L Heineken Keg, plus a carton of Hahn light beer in case I run out – and some chilli wine if that doesn’t go the distance plus Flashengeist Chocolate Port before bed which could be any time of the day. Happy Christmas everyone! Hope you all have a great day!

    Reply
    • dto says

      December 25, 2011 at 12:49 am

      It’s not even cold down under there. Fuck off.

      Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 25, 2011 at 10:13 am

      putski…

      Merry Christmas to you, your family, and all your mates in the wonderful land of OZ. Please take on a bit of a tan for those of us who haven’t seen the sun for months.

      john

      Reply
  26. aminnev says

    December 25, 2011 at 1:39 am

    Merry Christmas Jeff and family.

    Food: No tamales this year. Yankee Pot Roast with mashed potatoes. And beer.

    So far, we’ve watched Christmas Vacation, Christmas Story, Family Man, Mr. Bean’s Christmas, Charlie Brown Christmas, Olive – The Other Reindeer, and I’m looking for my “While You Were Sleeping” DVD. Dag nab it someone is hiding it from me because I watch it all the time.

    Merry Christmas to one and all!

    Reply
  27. eeyoresmama says

    December 25, 2011 at 2:16 am

    Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  28. JCIII says

    December 25, 2011 at 6:03 am

    Good Morning and Merry Christmas Surf Reporters…

    cooked the Christmas meal on Christmas Eve. The highlight was a blanket of bacon covering the turkey.

    Can’t believe we never did it sooner…

    Reply
  29. mikefromLI says

    December 25, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Lasagna, some nice Italian sausage – Saranac winter beer selection and Blantons bourbon.

    Merry Christmas.

    Reply
    • mikefromLI says

      December 25, 2011 at 9:06 am

      And maybe the March of the Wooden Soldiers

      Reply
  30. Big Bear in OH says

    December 25, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Merry Christmas to all from the middle of Ohio! We did it up big last night with a dozen different appetizers and drinks to choke a horse, and now we’re having a breakfast casserole early and then ham and scalloped potatoes later on…ought to be a pretty good day.

    Reply
  31. dto says

    December 25, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Good thing all the stores are closed or I’d be out getting a new nut-cracker for myself. Maybe I’ll just slam my balls in the bathroom door. Yesterday on the TV here I watched a Norwegian cook a pork shoulder using three different kinds of apples. Wooo-Fucking-Hooo….(that’s a fuck from Deadwood).
    I did plan ahead and have enough Coors to maintan a snowy outlook today.

    Reply
  32. tracy in ohio says

    December 25, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    We had Christmas yesterday with the kids. All the girls are at their dads so its just the other half and the youngest today.

    Other half forgot to buy us something for lunch today so we are making do with whatever we can scrape together. We are having sweet and sour meatballs with rice for dinner tonight. Last night we had scalloped potatoes and ham.

    Reply
  33. doctorright says

    December 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    Merry Christmas everybody.
    Have to go eat, drink, drink, and play with my new toys, and also everybody else’s, and then drink.

    Cheerio…

    Reply
  34. Jera says

    December 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    We don’t really have any traditional foods. We ordered pizza last night. The kids enjoyed it and I didn’t have to cook..works for me.

    You have been a part of my Christmas day. My kids got me a Kindle for Christmas and I downloaded Crossroads Road within the first 10 minutes of having the thing out of the box. So far I’m about 40% through and love the story. I really think it would make a great movie. I could see Vince Vaughn in the Jovis role. I would even pay the $10 to see it in the theater.

    Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone.

    Reply
  35. Shiny Rod says

    December 25, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    wISHiNg EveRyOne ThE MeRRiEst Of HoliDaYs

    Reply
  36. renn says

    December 25, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    My husband and daughter had the traditional Christmas pizza for lunch; I had toast.

    Santa thought he’d be funny and brought me a large dose of the flu for Christmas.

    Jerk.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      December 25, 2011 at 9:44 pm

      Sorry…sucks to be sick when others are having fun. Feel better soon.

      Reply
  37. chill says

    December 26, 2011 at 12:03 am

    Better late than never…. Merry Christmas to Jeff and the family, and Happy Whatever You Do to the Reporters!

    I just got back from a road trip to Tioga County Pa (long story). But we had a lovely bone-in ham from Country Store Meats of Pennsdale, as well as homemade pierogies. It didn’t suck one bit, maybe except for the 10 hours of driving. Hello, Buttonwood; goodbye, cell signal.
    .

    Reply
  38. Rick says

    December 28, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Turkey and a ham on the water smoker, with hickory and maple, for about 5-6 hours out in the garage. Where the beer fridge is, of course. No chance of carbonizing as long as the water pan doesn’t run dry. Or the beer fridge for that matter…

    Reply

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