There’s a guy I occasionally encounter, who wears mailman pants. He’s not a mailman, but he wears the pants of one. And what’s that all about? Any ideas? Perhaps he used to hold that position, and still wears the uniform? The bottom half, anyway… And if so, isn’t there some kind of law forbidding such a thing? Impersonating a mail carrier from the waist down? I mean, you can’t just walk around in mailman pants, all willy-nilly.
I’m thinking about confronting him on the issue. It’s a matter of principle.
I was sick as a poisoned dog Saturday, and by Sunday afternoon had completely rebounded. It was possibly the mythical “24-hour virus.” I’ve been hearing people talk about that phenomenon all my life, and long believed it was bullshit. Like jet lag, Carpal Tunnel syndrome, and writer’s block. But maybe I was wrong about it?
Maybe, but I doubt it. I think “24-hour virus” is just a catch-all phrase for any flare-up of an ailment that happens to last for roughly 24 hours. It’s not an actual identifiable sickness, it’s just anything that hangs around for a day or so. And one man’s 24-hour virus might last for three days with someone else, and thus be labeled “flu.”
And that’s another thing that irritates me. If you’ve ever had actual flu, like I have, you know that a simple upset stomach or a bad cold ain’t it. People dump all sorts of illnesses under that heading, and it’s an assault on the reputation of influenza.
When I had flu (during the Atlanta years), I thought I was going to die – literally. I’d never been so sick, not even close. And when I hear people say they were home from work for a day or two “with the flu,” I just roll my eyes. Buddy, if you’d really had the flu, you would look like Sid Vicious right now. ‘Cause that shit’ll flat-out mess you up, for days on end.
And if you want to argue with me about Carpal Tunnel syndrome, and tell me how you have a dried chicken claw sticking out of your shirtsleeve because you click a mouse fifty times per day, go ahead. But I won’t believe it, until it happens to me. Because that’s the way I roll. There are certain things that flip my skepticism trigger, and that’s one of them.
Are there any ailments or afflictions that you question? Please tell us about it, won’t you?
I was with a group of people a few days ago, and somebody mentioned the Amish. It was just an innocuous comment about getting stuck behind one of their buggies near Lancaster, and not being able to drive past, or something similar. And some dude completely flew off the handle.
“Ohhhhh gawd, I can’t stand the Amish!!” he began, and proceeded to launch into a five minute crackpot diatribe that caused the rest of us to trade glances that said, “Holy shit, this guy is completely out of his mind.”
He went on and on about how the Amish don’t pay taxes, but use ambulances and hospitals. And they all smell horrible. And they’re money-grubbing, price-gouging quilt-makers. And their kids are supposed to be pure and holy, but they really get drunk on the weekends, hide iPods in the woods (loaded, simply loaded with Aerosmith), and have sex like NBA players.
Once he finally stopped, nobody knew what to say, and there was an awkward silence.
And I’d like to turn that into the Question of the Day. Have you ever encountered someone who harbored a powerful bias against an unusual group of people? I’m not talking about the standard racism, sexism, and homophobia stuff. I mean something out of the ordinary, that caused you to think WTF?
My parents believe the state of Pennsylvania is filled to capacity with obnoxious assholes, because they’ve met a few people like that while camping through the years. I used to argue with them about it, but it’s no use. Their mind is made up.
And there’s a part of Charleston, WV, called South Hills. It’s where all the rich folks live, and people will automatically change their opinion of someone, if they find out they live in that section of town. “Oh well. I had no idea we were in the presence of royalty…” That kind of thing.
So, if you have anything on that subject, please tell us about it. And I’m going to work now.
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
BooYaa!
the amish do seem strange. i too think that PA is full of assholes, i hate it here and i can not wait until we save up enough money to relocate.
on another note i used to discriminate the people who shopped at wegmans supermarket, it was the “high class” store where only the rich shopped. like oh excuse me u shop at wegmans, it must be nice. than after going once or twice i was like wow the prices arent that bad and the food is great. now im hooked. there are still a lot more rich snobs than ur average supermarket but whatever.
Dear Theresa;
I live in PA, but I was born and raised in West Virginia. Please believe me when I tell ya, Metro Philadelphia is where most of the assholes are.
The remainder of Pennsylvania is pretty much like sweet home, West Virginia, including Pittsburgh.
LOL yeah i was born and raised in NY and i cant stand new yorkers either haha i dont know where i belong…
here is further evidence to explain why PA is so stupid
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Pennsylvania-county-plans-to-change-name-to-Bla?urn=nfl-314730
Good get the fuck out we don’t want you here either
Theresa: I hate to break the news to you…there are
A-holes no matter where you go. By the way…which state are you relocating to??
lol i have no idea, somewhere warm, down south. i put the above link up cuz i thought it was pretty funny. not so much hating on PA just the crazy stuff people do for football.
I know people who think that engineers working for the local Dupont plant are all insufferable assholes. How specific is that? That borders on insanity.
I haven’t had real flu in years but I remember how it feels. It goes beyond stomach upset…the delirium from the fever can be downright Serlingesque. There is nothing scarier than a fever dream.
I hate any lawyer from Scranton….totals shits…..then there’s Joe Biden….JEEEZUS
I lived in Lancaster back in middle school. For anyone who never lived in that area, the accent is on the first syllable… sounds like LANE-cstr… the last two syllables just merge sorta together.
Yeah, the Amish are weird, but you have to give them a break. I’d be weird too, if I had people constantly whipping out their cameras and taking pictures of me wherever I went. It’s the same syndrome that celebrities suffer from.
LOL i know what u mean about how they pronounce lancaster and like celebrities they choose to live this way so what do they expect?
And copying off of previous comments… I discriminate against people that shop at Whole Foods. Yeah, it’s nice to go there on rare occasions for the novelty of pecan butter or organic goat’s milk… but do you really need to buy all of your food there? Is it worth the 100% markup over normal grocery shopping?
And I also discriminate against laywers. Specifically, single female lawyers. Any time I’ve met a female lawyer out at a bar, they’re really really stuck up. And you can’t get them to shut up about being a lawyer. I don’t give a fuck… congratulations on your $100,000 of student loan debt.
The Amish annoy me, at least some of them. They like to set themselves up as some kind of wonderful peace-loving simple people, yet instances of child sexual abuse, domestic violence, animal cruelty, etc., are often rampant in many of their communities.
These are very complex issues, and it’s dangerous to paint any one group with a broad brush (pardon my cliche) but here’s an account of one particular Amish girl’s experience:
http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2008/07/15/escaping-the-amish-part-1/
So while your co-worker may have been a little over the top, his diatribe may have some basis in fact.
Very interesting story. I’m glad you shared it Railfan!
I also really dislike the Amish for the reason you have mentioned Railfan and also because or their inbreeding. There are several children here in Ohio that have serious genetic diseases that are specific to their communities due to so many generations of cousins getting busy with each other. They refuse all genetic counseling as being science and therefore bad.
I used to be married to someone with lots and lots of opinions about other people, and who painted with the very broadest of brushes. It was the jumping off point for many an awkward pause at parties…yeeesh.
That being said, those precious Southern women who sport a Jesus fish, their monogram in pink letters, a cartoon schematic of their family, and a fake Euro sticker featuring the cutesy abbreviation for their overpriced subdivision on the backs of their Suburban Assault Vehicles piss me offT. They’re driving hella expensive cars, sporting hella expensive manicures and hairstyles, can’t drive worth a lick, are rude in traffic to boot (morning carpool rules do not apply to them, it seems) and probably haven’t worked a day since they snagged the trophy husband. They are EVERYWHERE in this area, and would be the first ones I’d boot out the door of the bar in the case of a zombie attack.
Dear me – it appears I might have a rage issue.
Sweet.
Well, I am now glad I don’t have a Jesus fish, a monogram a cartoon of the family or a Euro-sticker – but – does my UNC Ram’s Club sticker qualify me for your rage? Even though I don’t really belong to that club (but my daughter does?) LOL
not at all. rock on!
yeah u ever see the family stickers that r like the wife and husband and than all dogs or cats…no kids..
I don’t like American Indians. You turn your back for one minute and they’ll try to steal your land.
Goddamn Apache pants keep riding up on me.
jtb
Do your Apache pants have that leather towel on the front and back like in F Troop?
Nope…
http://compare.ebay.com/like/5333395237?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&rvr_id=205996977827&crlp=1_263602_309572&UA=WXI7&GUID=343f02da1280a03664900ec0ffa3663c&itemid=5333395237&ff4=263602_309572
jtb
Ohioans tend to have an unrealstic bias against fans from “That State Up North.” However, since Rich Rod’s appearance and diappearance, I almost feel sorry for them, but I got over it!
“disappearance”–ugh!
Look up the word Rumspringa. That will tell you a few things.
People do suffer from those ailments. I know some who just had an operation for Carpal Tunnel syndrome.
Is it possible that the very best place to sample female lawyers for judgement might not be a bar? For that matter, it’s possible that also goes for male plumbers, cross-dressing car dealers, gay nuclear engineers, and both kinds of strippers. OK, maybe strippers, but the rest might best be adjudged in a different setting, to the extent they need be adjudged at all.
jtb
Agreed… a bar’s rarely the best place to meet anyone for the first time. Still, I have met them in other settings as well, like people that are friends-of-friends. Or weddings. The sample size is still relatively small… maybe a dozen or so. But it’s still enough that I’m willing to make large discriminatory generalizations against them.
I wouldn’t immediately write one off… if I meet a single female lawyer, I’ll talk to her as much as I’d talk to anyone else. I’m sure there are a few out there that are really great people. But I’m just not expecting much when I meet one.
Yo-Jimbo…
That seems like a reasonable position. In fact, it roughly mirrors my position on teabaggers. Thanks for the clarification.
jtb
just so you know, the term “teabagger” is VERY offensive unless you are talking about the sexual act. please keep it civil…
I was talking about the sexual act, which is civil or not, depending on the perspective of the beholder.
Just for the record, nigger is VERY offensive. Any word you use to characterize my political position might be annoying, but you are welcome to it.
jtb
Something about BMW drivers piss me the fuck off. Especially if they’re women. And the icing on the cake is if they’re on a cell phone and riding up my ass. I slow down. Oh yeah baby, you ride my ass? I go 10-15 UNDER the speed limit. Even if the speed limit is 30, you’re goddamn right I’m going 20.
I actually saw a bumper sticker on the way to work last week that kinda shocked me… “if you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair”…. wouldn’t that just make parents proud?
Not that I didn’t think it was so white trash I didn’t plagiarize it last week mind you…
last bumper sticker I saw was “sorry I haven’t been to church I have been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian”
hahaha
Last great bumper sticker I saw: “my other ride is your daughter”.
I saw a beat up peice of shit with this sticker.
“My other car is a pair of boots”
I’ll be moving to Morgantown in a few months (job). Is there a crash course available for living in WV?
Don’t live in a student neighborhood.
Next September, go to the WV Wine & Jazz fest at Camp Muffly (Goshen Road exit of 79S). Take a good video camera, shoot plenty of footage, then start a website dedicated to the festival and the drunken mayhem. You could probably make some good income supplement from that.
Make sure to enjoy the festival though, it’s a great time. I work it yearly with Fisher Ridge Winery.
Been a few years but, as anyone, I have an opinion. Keglers for wings and sports. Crockett’s for wings and debauchery. Brew Pub (though it is no longer called that) for hippy food and beer, but fun. Oliverio’s and Puglioni’s for Italian food. 123 Pleasant Street for music. Mountaineer Field for tailgates. Gene’s and Mario’s Fishbowl…well, just go. You will feel at home, wherever that may be.
As for living in WV. No crash course. Morgantown is WV but it has its own course. As do most other parts of the state. Mostly, just be nice. It will be returned.
Speaking of that, I am biased against anyone not from WV.
Glass House for rack of lamb…mmmmuuuuslobber…
First thing you need to do is get a blue and gold WV sticker to put on the back window of your car (or more appropriately, pickup truck). Other than that, just enjoy yourself, and don’t, I repeat, DON’T constantly tell people how much cooler, better, and more sophisticated it was where you used to live.
Wish I were in WV right now.
I loathe the Amish too. Once you live around them you get an idea how steeped in bullshit they are, and sometimes dangerously so.
I’m also trying to get over a deep seated prejudice against Ohioans, especially since I’m married to one and so many fine Surf Reporters seem to hail from that state. I think I’ve got it whittled down to Cincinnatians, but I can’t promise anything.
As an Eagles fan, I hate anything related to the Cowboys.
Pageant moms should probably be publicly flogged in the street.
And Ugg fetishists are somewhere high on my shit list.
I have a feeling this whole topic is going to get mired down in negativity and name-calling fairly shortly. So on a more positive note, I like anatomically correct snowmen, Icelanders, and gorillas who walk upright. At this time.
Speaking of haters….
Nigel Powers: All right Goldmember. Don’t play the laughing boy. There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.
Goldmember: What? Take the fahza away! Dutch hater!
I don’t discriminate. I hate everyone. Especially those effing Canadians.
Damn ‘mericans…
Buckeyes are just hairless nuts.
Michigander
Don’t tell me you have a migraine if you are walking around the office, eating a bagel. If you really had a migraine, you would be sprawled on the bathroom floor with the lights out, hoping to vomit, and wishing for narcotics.
Or just tougher than you.
i agree strangeart
Strange…
You got it right. Saying you should be tougher than a migraine is like saying that if Lou Gehrig were only tougher he could have beaten that disease (I forget which one he had).
jtb
To be fair, I have chronic migraines, which means I’m in pain every single day. Some days are worse than others, and on the pretty good days I go to work and function, in pain. On the bad days, I’m in the bed. But chronic migraines are a rarity, and most of the people that claim migraines are full of bullshit. There have been times when I could barely restrain myself after someone asked me if I’d ever tried Excedrin. Oh, gee, I go out of state to a major headache center and one of the best migraine neurologists in the world, and if only I’d known about Excedrin, I would be living a different life!
Canada is indeed a tard factory.
Good God, I’ll say.
Hosers? more like HOSE-BAGS!!!!
I agree with your coworker, although probably not as voraciously. I’ve seen a lot of tax payers get under-cut on construction projects because of “Amish” that bid on the job. Who can compete with somebody who doesn’t have any bills, pay any taxes and can use child labor with no regulations or guidelines. If they’re self sufficient, then why do they need to take jobs from the people who pay into the system that allows them to live free?
—-Akward Silence—-
So who’s going to win the super-bowl?
Green Bay, but just barely.
Um…STEELERS. Close game though.
Agreed
I think fibromyalgia can raise an eyebrow or two. The only people that have come into the office and had this complaint are whiney women that get pain with haircuts. They want facelifts, breast augmentations, abdominoplasties but are concerned are worried because they have fibromyalgia and are already “in pain everywhere”. Sheese!! I guess I am numb as to peoples ailments when it comes to this office. I just don’t give a shit anymore.
In the summer, there is a great fleamarket in Rogers, Ohio. Since its only on Friday’s, I don’t get to go too often. The Amish are plentiful there. One time two Amish guys driving a little Chevy S10 are trying to load one of those old huge satellite dishes in the bed of the truck. We almost peed ourselves watching those idiots strap it down. It kept rolling from side to side and falling out of the truck. Who does this?? There’s no room for groceries in the back of one of those things. I have no idea why the hell they would need something like that since they don’t have “luxuries”. Unless they were going to use it to plow the field or a watering trough for animals.
Yeah, I think fibromyalgia is Latin for “I want a settlement check!”
A relative works with a woman who “has” fibromyalgia. The joke around her office is that “fibromyalgia” is a word that means “I only get sick enough to call off on Fridays and Mondays…”
DAMMIT BIKER CHICK FIBROMIALGIA WAS GONNA BE MINE!!! I AGREE IT SEEMS TO BE AN EXCUSE TO BE OVERWEIGHT AND LAZY.
Tilly: Sorry, luv.. Great minds think alike!!
My sister “has” fibromyalgia. What a crock of shit.
Oh yeah – another “vague” disease. “I was so sore to the touch” then stop touching yourself!
I used to work with a guy who swore he hated Slavs. Apparently there were many folks from Eastern Europe living in the town where he grew up. His main beef was that they were known to remove their grass lawns, pour cement into the vacated space, and paint it green?! It was weird all the way around.
I’ve seen that, but I thought it was a Florida thing.
.
Weird!!!! I didn’t know other people did that! I delivered newspapers on my route in Redmond, WA when I was a kid who did that, and put an ornamental sign out front that said, “Dun Mowin'”
Having a grandmother who was mennonite and living around the amish almost all my life I can understand the bias. they are very hypocritical people. it really depends on what group you are talking about. like everyone else they have their good and bad people. I knew a lady who always stopped and bought baked goods from one family until the day they invited her in. when she walked in and saw how filthy the kitchen was, chickens running around and flies everywhere, she never went back. I used to work around amish framers all the time, you always had to watch crawling around in the crawl spaces because they would go down there and take a crap. the walls would always be out of square and not plumb, the trim guys would always have to make up for it. they are allowed to build houses without electrical wiring but will take their cell phones to the job site and charge them there and they would also use generators. guess nobody told them it’s all the same thing… on the other hand most of the amish in my area would set up self funded health care for the members in their church. if things keep going the way they are we may all be living the amish lifestyle.
here in the mountains of western NC we have some of the most ignorant hillbillies I have ever met. they call themselves “natives” (which is a joke) and if you ain’t from here you ain’t shit. idiots.
I have found over the years that I hate everyone and leave it up to people to change my mind…
I believe it depends on where they live, and what order they belong to. And things are changing. I follow a guy’s blog who spends time with and writes about the Amish.
It could be he bought those pants. I think the PO is about to shit the bed, so maybe they are having a sale.
I want to experience the 4-hr erection they claim may happen when taking a Viagra. I hope my girlfriend and her younger sister will help me relieve that big problem
I hate the hippies.
Amen to that brother
I used to hate hippies with the heat of a thousand suns. Then I was introduced to hipsters. I hate them sooooo much….FLAMES….on the side of my face….breathing….heaving breaths!!
As someone who lived for 22 years in the Haight Ashbury I concur. I didn’t realize the extent this until I returned this Christmas. I had absolutely no patience for these idiots. That neighborhood has a 40 year hangover. IT’S 2011 PEOPLE! TAKE OFF THAT FUCKING TYE-DYE ALREADY!!!
I hate hippies.
Oh, and I hate hipsters, too, but they don’t incur my wrath the way hippies do. I need a drink.
People from New Jersey are rude and dumb. Every one of them that I have met certainly are…both of them!
South Hills ruled in the early 80s when the snooty rich kid’s parents left the teenagers to go on uber-expensive cruises and whatnot. The parties were legendary.
Trust me, two New Jerseyans are more than plenty! I just left NJ after ten years of misery. What a bunch of barking a-holes! Obstreperous, shallow, neurotic, cliquish and viciously political, the whole of North Jersey was like a loud shark tank. Even the elementary school kids in my town were these smug, manipulative bullies. Anybody who has a warm spot for NJ can have my share.
Oh, and about those mailmen pants – are you sure that’s the only government issued clothing you could think of? Maybe they were a gift of the state penn at Frackville and the dude is on the lam.
Old grouchy people annoy me. Just because you’re sucking up the Social Security and you lived a long, hard life and now it hurts to take a leak is no reason your marginal sense of humor has to be lost and turn you into a bitter old bat! Take some cheerful lessons from me!
I run into the occasional person that will go off on Mormons. Not very notable, except that the little town I live in is about… ohhh…. ummmmm.. 75% LDS! How clueless do you have to be to go off on Mormons when there’s a 75% chance you’re talking to one?
Bullshit ailment…………..Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Any bit of labor causes unending bitching about how tired they are. Quit your job and take a nap!
I was going to bitch about yuppies, but they don’t shit in your crawlspace.
Man…
No, lakr, but they shit all over my 401K.
jtb
I don’t live near any Amish people, so I cannot contribute to that story. “Witness” was a pretty good movie, though…
The first boolshit ailment that came to mind was Fibromyalgia. The funnier part is that I have been diagnosed with it. See, that’s funny to me because how can I be diagnosed with something that technically has never been proven to exist? I went to the doctor because I get a weird pain throughout one or both of my legs, more often in cold periods or rains. I thought it was early arthritis or something & they’d give me a cortizone shot every once in a while & I’d be fine. Instead the doc went on this long rant on how it sounds like fibromyalgia & here, try taking these pills.
In the end I simply take three ibuprofen pills when I feel the pain & I get on with my life. But my aunt who “has” fibromyalgia hasn’t been out of her pajamas in two years, takes every pill known to man & spends 3 hours telling you how intense her pain is.
Frankly I think people who “have” fibromyalgia are pill addicts who need the excuse of the phantom disease to score more pills. Sadly there are doctors out there too happy to prescribe them.
Can you supply me with the list of these doctors?
Much appreciated.
“Out through the night in the whispering breezes,
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases…”
THAT Zappa didn’t suck, at least.
The first disease that came to my mind is mesothelioma. I don’t think it’s fake, but it’s a “TV disease”. Seems like daytime TV is crammed with ads for ambulance chasers who are eager to get you to sue someone.
I don’t think I’ve known anyone who had a bizarre prejudice – only the ordinary ones. Wait, I take that back. What’s with all these people hating ‘the French’? As if people have any say about what their government does.
.
Good evening Surf Reporters!!
I have to agree with Jeff on his ideas about the flu. I had the flu once and there are no words to describe how awful it really is. I honestly thought that I might not make it through. I was horribly sick for 5 or 6 days and I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t eat, could barely drink, and I felt like someone had beat the crap out of me with a baseball bat. Just rolling over from one side to the other to avoid bedsores caused excruciating pain. My mom came over one evening about 5 days in, and brought my some 7-up. She took my temperature and it was 104.6 and she freaked out and took me to the ER. That was a shitload of fun. Although, I’m pretty sure they gave me narcotics for the pain, so that was pretty awesome. It’s the little things, ya know?
I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemy!
Well….maybe I would. Lots of pain and suffering but no death. Hmmm. No death = no guilt. 🙂
As for the weird and unexplainable bias against an odd group of people, I don’t personally know anyone like that. I do live in the south though, so there are alot of the typical racist-homophobes running around. No news there though.
WOW!! More Amish hatin’. 6 years ago I was out with my friends, in bar off the beaten path in Berks County, and my one friend was playing pool where you “play winner” so the guy she was shooting with takes one look at the winner and says ” I won’t play him- he’s got the Dutch in him” And put down the cue and walked out.
Anti-Amish sentiment was totally new to us city girls who really thought we had been exposed to every version of racism, sexism and every other possible sort of discrimination. This would be like hating the Muppets or Santa Claus.
Well for the past 4 years I lived in and around the area and its really much more prevalent than I had ever thought.
I’m going to say that I have an irrational hatred for people from Kentucky. It’s not that I have a particular beef with Kentucky or people that live there, it’s just that I feel pressure to hate SOMEONE, and Kentucky seems like an easy target. Sorry Kentucky.
Is there a new theme with the cam where we get to look at weirdos surrounded by cartoon characters? At least today’s weirdo doesn’t have his dick out.
I wear toreador pants sometimes and I’m not a toreador.
Carpal Tunnel is real, and that shit is not cool. Due to SWELLING in my last pregnancy it pushed on the nerves. Just imagine your fingers feeling numb like they are asleep all the time. worse near the pinky. I couldn’t open bottles, sippy cups, no feeling. I used to think it was bullshit too, but then I was afraid it would never go away.
but it did.
Oh yeah, fuck the Nordic Americans that live two houses down from me. I’m biased against them as well. Not because they are Nordic Americans, but because they are assholes.
Cat scratch fever? What the fuck is up with that? Anybody still get “the vapors”? Has that been cured? Walking pneumonia. Where’d that go? Blue balls and DSB (dead sperm buildup) are one in the same. I think ricketts was a trumped up disease by the crutch lobby.
…and you don’t have to be a fisherman to wear fish nets…just sayin’
I had “cat scratch fever”… the medical condition, not the Ted Nugent kind. Some glands or something swelled up under my armpits to about the size of small oranges and started squirting pus. Yeah, nasty. But real.
I used to think carpal tunnel was bullshit, too until I got it. The pain at night was incredible – used to make me cry. I had surgery for it and it’s allllll better now. Carpal tunnel is not bullshit. Fibromyalgia, however, is.
I hate people who park so close to your car in the parking lot that you have to get in through the passenger door. Fuckers.
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
I have carpal tunnel, and it must be mild, because it’s more annoying than anything. My fingers go numb if I try to do something that requires me to maintain a hand position, like sewing. The test is fun, too, where they hook your fingers up to electrodes and make your arm jump up and down. Or was my doctor just having some fun? Meh.
I wouldn’t call it hate, but I lived in a neighborhood once that had a larger-than-average population of dwarfs. I mentioned it to my bud one night over beers, and she told me that I had “issues” with them because I noticed them, which I guess is politically incorrect. After a few more beers and some shots, we were helping each other walk home, and about a dozen dwarfs came walking up the street toward us. My bud starting screaming “Oh my gawd! There’s dwarfs! Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!” Which earned her a suddenly sober look from me and some serious glares from the dwarfs. To this day, I have no clue why she lost it like that. I mean, they weren’t doing anything, just minding their own business. But after that, I avoided them whenever I saw them in the store or anything. I was really worried that they would try to kick my ass or something.
No opinions from me, but I will give you guys a couple of Amish observations.
My best friend from WV used to live on a farm in Western NY back in the 1970s. He rented a corner of his farm to a band of “hippies.”
In the early 1980s, he sold his farm to the Amish. The leader of the band “o” hippies told my friend (jokingly) that their new landlords would appreciate their communal, earthy lifestyle far more than my friend ever could. …First thing the Amish did when they took title to the property was kick the hippies off the property.
Funniest Amish thing I ever saw was in the small village of Sherman, NY in 1985. I was sitting in a little restaurant eating blackberry pie, when an Amish wagon pulled up across the street and dropped three teenage Amish boys off in front of the General Store. After Ma and Pa drove the wagon down the street, the three boys took off their Amish hats, and rolled up the sides to make them look like cowboy hats. Then one reached inside his overall pocket and produced a pack of cigarettes, and all three kids lit up. About that time, a couple of blonde haired non-Amish teenage girls walked past on the sidewalk, and the three Amish kids tried to strike up a conversation.
I have NO earthly idea what an Amish pickup line might be…but as a former teenager myself, I felt their pain at being shot down in flames. It’s hard enough to pick up chicks as a “regular” guy, but being a teenage Amish kid must make it a zillion times more difficult.
Wow, I am going to have my left arm tested for “ulnar nerve entrapment” later today! Feels like my pinky and ring finger are asleep all the time. So now I am a believer.
Did I get blocked or something. I posted the same several paragraphs twice yesterday and it’s still not here.
Spoke about Amish whores, ADD, Fibromyalgia and PMS.
OK, well that showed up.
Lets try again:
Speaking of the Amish, down here they are called Mennonites. They are like Ohioan Amish or something. When I was a graveyard manager at a restaurant in the eighties (for those who remember, this is the one I got stabbed at), the Mennonites came in at 11:00 every Friday or Saturday night. Mostly young’ns. The guys took off their hats and ties and the young whores took off their coffee filters and went to the bathroom to cake on the makeup. They would stand out front and smoke until their food was ready and afterward, when I went to where most of them parked (in nice cars, not horses and buggies) there was a plethora of beer and liquor bottles. They were partying like it was 1799.
ADD, or ADHD, or whatever it is called was invented by a parent who couldn’t get their kid to listen. Now, it is commonplace to “diagnose” the kids with it. Notice how this came about at around the time the pussification of America started and parents could not beat their kids anymore. If I didn’t lsten when I was a kid, my Dad would punch me in the ear and say “Can ya hear me now?” Endured many ass beatings to keep me in line when I was an AngryWhiteBoy. Now, kids just get medicated.
Here are some fibromyagia symptoms:
Widespread pain, nausea, dizziness, morning stiffness, sleep disorders, chronic headache, fatigue, cold symptoms, vision problems, weight gain……
Well, shit! I guess 99 percent of us can qualify for some drugs now.
Now, if no one is offended yet, maybe 50 percent of the remaining non-offended will be. PMS is bullshit. An excuse to treat your husband like shit and laugh it off a week or two later as “Well, I was PMSing!” When the Child Bride was 18, she was preggers with our awesome son. So no PMS then. Ages 19-25, no PMS then. Now, in the early thirties, I get one good week with her a month. 2 weeks of “PMS” and one week of Aunt Flo’s visit. She didn’t used to get all edgy and shit. And she is very pleasant on the phone with OTHER people during that time. Just an excuse to bash me and blame it on something. When I go to the store to get her Pamprin and they ask at the register, “Did you find everything okay today?” I reply, “No, I couldn’t find the gallon bottles of Pamprin anywhere”
A guy at my job that works on the groundskeeping wears a “Gilligan hat”. We call him Gilligan, or Slingblade.
In the Enon Valley area of Pa. The Amish are refered to as “Blue Niggers” Nasty term but true.
SOS: Never heard of that one before.
They are pretty well hated in that area. Hunting in packs like wolves and killing everything in there way.
Hard life I guess hunting for food. Their decision however.
I hate anything and everything about “Jersey Shore”….Total pieces of worthless shit
And what’s even more nauseating is they are making loads of money for acting like complete morons. And the media feeds into their bullshit like putting them on the Today Show (or whatever) and late night talk shows. Absolutely ridiculous. Hey…I fell face down in the snow after drinking Friday night. I didn’t see a camera crew anywhere in sight. Bullshit.
I just can’t stand the dpey fucking names: Snookie, The Situation… if it’s a reality show, why can’t they be real” The Asswipe, The Tottering Drunk.
I just don’t know how to say this without sounding like an asshole. I’ve never seen these programs, but they sound pretty bad. Turn off the TV and read a book.
jtb
Well, most of them will die of Cirrhosis of the liver or an STD. So we have that going for us.
I read an average of 3 books a week. Mostly mysteries. I know some people consider those not to be real literature but I do. I can’t stand to read ‘real’ books such as:
Young woman meets young man of her dreams…
They get married…
They try to have kids but can’t…even though her father is a gynecologist and tries to help her…
But, through a series of coincidences she meets Bono at a rally for Global Warming Awareness and finds out she can adopt all the kids she wants from Darfur.
I can’t do it.
Damn straight they’re real literature. Arthur Conan Doyle, Dashiell Hammett, Rex Stout, Raymond Chandler, Ross Macdonald, John D. MacDonald, Ian Flemming, Robert B. Parker, and all the current writers.
For my money, Hammett is the best American author of the 20th century, even though he was a terrible drunk, only wrote five novels, and didn’t write much more than a word after 1934 (d.1961).
jtb
Never saw the show myself but a story floated on the news. Over and over again.
Let me affirm your new status because i’ve never seen the program myself….you don’t need to because they are inflicted upon us no matter what the media source.
that was for jtb, btw