James R. Landry
Brash, because he grew up in Boston.
Lawrence Kessler
Smoked his own meats.
Robert L. Caldwell
Knew how to work the system.
David K. Mosher
A Budweiser man.
Anna Garvey
Owned many items emblazoned with the image of an owl.
Albert J. Hubbard
“There’s no such thing as too spicy.”
Allison Lundy
Strong advocate of the all-inclusive resort.
Judy Masters
Had many surgeries.
Bernard L. Peet
Heroically ignored grammar rules.
Timothy Canfield
Nostalgic for the era of the “full bush.”
Harold Cottrell
Never shit at work.
Paul Granville
Tried out for the Kansas City Royals.
Maria Martel
Ate whatever she wanted.
Edward J. Stearns
Always punctual.
Edith Stark
Owned several pit bulls, referred to them as “big babies.”
Delores McDonnell
A lesbian with a sense of humor.
Albert L. Powell
Whittled.
What would be your “thing”-only obituary? How about your co-workers? Please tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again on Monday!
Now playing in the bunker
Try Dropbox! It’s free and fantastic.
Master booger hooker.
Fault finder.
.
Lead Foot
Always hung his junk to the left of the inseam (his left).
Kenny Lukens….Adimitted faliure
Steve Winslow…invented the edit button.
Rose Messler…bowler
tits like a porn star, food sensibilities like an old lady, sense of humor like a 12-year-old boy.
He was born to rest.
Meticulous newspaper reader.
Always took the wrong road…always
George Aikens- Stay off his lawn
Born-again porn collector
Put a bird on it.
Born without the filter between his brain and his mouth.
He could sew like a motherfucker.
Never followed or rooted for a championship sports team.
Craig Winslow: The “Strong, Silent Type”, but more silent than strong.
Andrew Wheatly…Designed tin foil hats.
Betty Welcher…Lived to knit.
Used his metal detector to find three process coins – that turned out to be worthless.
Priceless.
He’d go to out-of-town Denny’s and claim it was his birthday for a free meal.
He’d walk into hotels as if he’d stayed there and eat a their breakfast buffets.
David Goodwin…Mensa member. Collected hammers.
Carol Winslow…Competed in the “Betty Crocker Bake Off” for 35 years.
A TRUE FAN OF “SUNDAY BRUNCH W/ MIMOSA’S”
Had uncomfortable pants.
He was a scholar and an asshole.
Backed into parking spaces.
Dipped french fries in mayonaise.
Foot so fucked up he used baby seals as shoes.
Chuck – never cared about expiration dates
His hobby was complaining about the weather.
He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! …….And he hated irony!
Jerry Paulson…Retired letter carrier who always quipped, “I push the envelope”. Found beaten to death in the dead letter bin.
Liked to brag that size really doesn’t matter.
Hated trees and drove a hatchback with a pipe in the back seat to hold the hatchback up.
Shopped at Cracker Barrel.
Once won $50,000 on a scratch off then promptly destroyed it with his lighter because “fuck the thieves at the lottery”. Then bought ten more tickets.
Mailed 733 death threats to Roy Orbison without ever getting caught. The treats continued until his death ( Not Orbison’s death, Jim’s death, last December).
Would hound disappointing kareoky singers until closing time, and sometimes followed them home.
Only one who liked anchovies on his pizza.
Ten column inches.
Durutti, or regular?
.
Milt Jenkins – had high blood pressure and low self esteem.
Taco enthusiast.
Believed in true love. Otherwise had good judgment.
Still has a TV antenna.
Moved five times to keep ahead of his reputation