I took the trash out this morning, on account of it being trash day, and it felt like my lungs were filling with a hard frost. Sweet Maria! It’s currently 1, so at least it’s starting to warm up. Last night as I was driving home from work my car told me it was -4, and that’s simply unnecessary. The low was supposed to be -7. Not sure if it made it, but what does it matter, once it gets down that low? After you pass the full scrotal eradication threshold a few degrees in either direction don’t mean much. Oh well. It’s supposed to be 55 on Tuesday, and people will be wearing shorts and flip-flops by then. And Halfy J. Halfington will probably be out there mowing his lawn next door.
Speaking of frozen, did you ever see a movie called Frozen? No, not the cartoon or whatever the hell that thing is. I’m talking about some obscure low-budget film from 2010 about three people stuck on a ski lift. It’s great! They go out on the lift for one more downhill run before the resort closes for the week, and are forgotten (due to a series of improbable events), and left hanging, literally. They close the whole place up, turn off the lights, and everybody goes home. Except for the three unfortunates sitting in an elevated chair in the woods.
Oh, it’s not technically a great movie. I mean, this is not Casablanca we’re talking about. But it’s entertaining, suspenseful, and extremely memorable. I find myself thinking about it on a semi-regular basis, and that’s a sign they succeeded on some level, right? There are plenty of critically acclaimed movies I’ve forgotten five minutes after The End. Indeed, this thing popped into my mind again today as I was rolling those trash bins to the curb. “Shit! I’m going to end up like that one asshole in Frozen,” I muttered to myself. And I know of no other human being who’s seen it, or even knows about it.
For a Question, I’d like to know your favorite really fucking cold movies. Which ones pop into your mind when you think of a cold setting? The good ones make you almost feel the cold while you’re watching. So, please tell us what you’ve got on this subject.
And I’m going to call it a day here. Work awaits, and that’s enough said about that subject.
I posted a new podcast episode for patrons, right here. I’m pretty happy with this one. I’m not always happy. In fact, I’m usually not. But I’m reasonably pleased with this edition. Here’s your summary:
In this one, I tell you about a recent trip to Sam’s Club where I applied for a credit card, got two giant blankets for free, had a lot of pizza, and was aggravated nearly the entire time. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening, and thanks for the support!
I hope you guys have a fantastic weekend.
I’ll be back on Monday.
Now playing in the bunker
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The Revenant, for sure. I froze my cojones off the whole time I was watching it.
I have to see this movie! It was on one of the premium channels for a short while but then it just disappeared.
An odd and very enjoyable movie. Recommended.
Steve in WV says
Band of Brothers… the Bastogne episode where they are pinned down in the forest in the dead of winter for weeks. Different generation of men. Could you imagine telling today’s 19 or 20 year old kid he has to go into the forest of Belgium or someplace in the dead of winter with no real protection from the elements and hole up in a ditch with a cold ass metal riffle and nothing but ramen to eat. Damn.
Root 66 says
The first part of “The Empire Strikes Back” seemed like a pretty cold movie, there on Hoth or wherever the heck they were. It always froze me to death watching it. But at least we found out what the inside of a tauntaun smells like!
Madeleine Keith says
Fargo – A gentleman I worked with, who hated winter, said “Why the hell are those people living there???”
Grumpy Old Men. I saw an interview with Jack Lemmon and he said filming that picture almost killed him!
This morning my car went from -3 to 2 degrees on my ride to work. That’s just out and out ridiculous. Thank God the wind has died down.
First thing that came to mind –
I was about at the back door of work and got the call that the good old university was closed today. And so it goes. . .
surreal killer says
That ‘Frozen’ movie was so intense that they had people passing out from the suspense?!? Apparently even happened in the little neighborhood theater a mile away from my current house. It is named in the Wikipedia entry you linked to. Interesting bit of trivia.
I’m very sorry everyone is so frigid. I’m told it’s the humidity that hurts, but I suppose that’s cold comfort.
I’d have to go with Ice Station Zebra with Rock Hudson, Jenna Jamison, Rip Torn and Johnny Dickshot. The scene where Rock nearly loses a foot pleasuring himself outside on the chill icecap is a lesson for all of us – well, half of us – although I think it was what the track and field people call “wind-assisted”. Second place goes to Ernest Borgnine for worst Russian accent in a 70mm film. Also, he kept using the word “turgid”, which isn’t actually Russian.
You might know that Howard Hughes had this film piped throughout the Desert Inn so he could see it in the penthouse. And see it, and see it. 150 times in a continuous loop according to Wikipedia. Sadly, he was unable to pleasure himself because of fingernail growth.
It seems more appropriate for this update to solicit the shortest film, but, in truth, Johnny Dickshot took his time.
Agree with Ice Station Zebra! My Real Dad was actually a stationed member there during that time.
Cathy W. says
The one that comes to mind for me is “Day After Tomorrow”, though I know a lot of people didn’t like that movie. I enjoyed it. I always loved the “Stargate:SG1” episode ‘Solitudes’. Probably only really good if you’re already an SG:1 fan.
Yeah, “Day After Tomorrow” is the one that immediately came to mind for me. The plausibility was so low it was off the scale though. I think he walked from NY to DC on snowshoes in a day or two, didn’t he? It should have had a disclaimer “Don’t try this at home”.
I also thought of Day After Tomorrow. It was a great bad movie, made at the time when CGI was the new big thing, so the techies got to show off what computers could do with winter scenes. I think I saw it on the big screen, so it probably made a bigger impression than it should have.
The ice palace in Dr. Zhivago. So cold I can only watch it in the summer.
Now is the time to watch Lawrence of Arabia.
This morning was -20 with a wind chill of -54 degrees. Come on global warming, err climate change.
Way Down East when Lillian Gish is on the ice floe with her hand trailing in the frigid water.
So weit die Füße tragen (As Far as my Feet Will Carry Me). A German POW escapes from a Siberian gulag.
And I’m guessing that Halfy J. Halfington might be the same guy as Poppa Half Shirt.
The PBS American Experience episode on the “Donner Party”. Best watched on a cold night with the window open. Better than surround sound.
Good choice. Even the music was cold – my son called the recurring theme the ice music.
Frozen was amazing. I particularly enjoyed the hands freezing to the ski lift and the idea that there are ski resorts with packs of wolves (diverse packs! Wolves of every color) wandering around at night.
“Alive” (1993 movie about the rugby team that survived a plane crash in the Andes). The entire movie is in a deep freeze, and it makes one wonder about how bitterly cold it would have to be to resort to such a “special” diet.
The podcast was good, a real slice o’ life. As is so often the case, I can relate.
Son of Sam says
The day the music died. RIP all.
Stuart in Oz says
The Big White with Robin Williams, Holly Hunter and Woody Harrelson. Holly Hunter is hilarious as a Tourettes suffering wife.