People who say they LOVE hot weather (“the hotter, the better!”) can kiss my big riffled ass. I think my core is about to melt down. This is the absolute worst: hot and sticky, with a demoralizing haze… God, how I hate it. I’d take snow up to the windows, over this crap, any day of the week. Sweet sainted mother of Ted McGinley! I feel like I’m in the devil’s pee hole.
Steve and I made it to Cleveland and back, but it was touch and go. We barely averted three separate wrecks on our drive home yesterday, and I think that, because of all the furious clenching, I bruised my sphincter. It was a good trip, though. I’ll post a full report, with photos, on Monday afternoon. Here’s a sneak preview, to whet your appetite.
About a month ago I scheduled two free days for CROSSROADS ROAD in the Kindle Store, and completely forgot about it. I looked at the report today, and saw a bunch of freebie downloads, and thought, “Oh, shit! That starts today, doesn’t it?” So, I guess I’d better promote it a bit?
I mentioned it at Twitter and Facebook, and now here. If you know someone with a Kindle, who might share our questionable outlooks, please let ‘em know. The book will be free Friday and Saturday only, and I probably won’t do it again. At least not anytime soon.
During the last Friday/Saturday freebie extravaganza more than 17,000 people downloaded the thing. It was pretty amazing. It’s not going to be anywhere near that number this go ‘round, but I’m hoping for a few extra thousand copies in circulation.
At this point, I just want people to read it. I like to see the reactions of folks who don’t know anything about us, or this website. It’s an interesting sociological exercise. The ones who make it past Sue falling off a toilet in the first chapter, really seem to like it. But that scene acts as a filter of sorts, and I believe they should thank me for putting it so close to the beginning. Right? Right.
UPDATE: I just saw this. Number One, in a super-obscure niche category! Hell, yeah.
And I checked the traffic stats last night, and saw a bunch of visitors coming here from MSNBC.com. This is the page; they linked to Ads vs. Reality. NBC news, linking to photos of some of my old lunches… I couldn’t be prouder. And Mrs. Wagner said I’d never amount to anything. Take that, bitch!
At Twitter, Tom Scharpling linked to this page about some shoes designed by the mournful singer in Bon Iver. I think he wrote something along the lines of “Retweet this, if you believe in freedom!” And since I do believe in it, I retweeted it. But I added, “WTF? I’m holding out for the Steve Forbert fishing boots.”
And a few days later, Steve Forbert himself retweeted my message. Heh. Sometimes I forget the internet is, you know… public.
I’m exhausted, partly because of the heat, and have had three messed-up weekends in a row. I crave normalcy. Unless something goes askew, though, everything should be smooth sailing from here on out. I feel like my life is in disarray, and it makes me crazy. I need some semblance of order, or I experience low-grade panic.
It’s probably a form of OCD. But thankfully I’m not as bad as a guy I used to know. He had a massive music collection, and kept his CDs in perfect order. They were arranged alphabetically, and also by original release date, within each artist’s section. None of that is too weird (I hope – since that’s the way I do it, too), however… there’s more to the story.
He would also listen in order. Know what I mean? There was never any spontaneity, he just worked his way down the line, and listened to what came next. And if he stopped halfway through an album, that’s where he’d have to start the next time. He would just continuously work his way through his collection, alphabetically. If he bought something new, he couldn’t listen to it, until he got there.
Do you know anyone with these kinds of strange OCD habits? If so, please tell us about it. Use the comments link below.
And finally, I tried the Burger King bacon sundae last week. I was going to write a full-blown review of it, but there’s not much to say. Here’s a photo of it, before I dug in.
To tell you the truth, I’m feeling a bit manipulated. These fast food places keep coming up with outrageous menu items, because they know it will rampage through the internet, and they’ll receive massive free publicity. In most cases, it’s not a genuine attempt at a real addition to the menu. It’s just goofiness, to get Twitter and the blogs a-buzzin’. And that’s why I went into it with a pronounced lack of enthusiasm.
It wasn’t bad, though. It reminded me of the Peanut Buster Parfait, at Dairy Queen. The crumbled bacon is really salty, like the peanuts in the parfait, and it goes well with chocolate syrup. I enjoyed it, and the big strip of meat sticking out of the top was pretty good, too. Very crispy.
On paper it seems crazy: bacon and ice cream. But it didn’t seem weird inside my mouth, it felt like a longtime favorite. It cost $2.69, which is a bit pricey, I think. But I liked it. I recommend it, if you’re so inclined. It’s nothing spectacular, but definitely not bad.
I made a tactical error, though. I drank a Dr. Pepper while driving to work, just a few minutes after I polished off the bacon sundae. And the two didn’t play well together, inside my gut. I felt like I was about to blast it out both ends. But I can’t blame that on the sundae; it was CLEARLY pilot error.
Have you had the bacon sundae yet? If so, I’d like to know what you thought about it. Please drop your review into the comments section below.
And I’ll be back on Monday, with a full report on the Cleveland trip. We saw some baseball… the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame… and another off-the-wall attraction which I’ll tell you about next time.
Have a great weekend, my friends!
I’ll see you in a couple of days.