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Jeff Kay's Ridiculous Adventures In Suburbia

Instant Messaging Hate, Netflix Pricing, and Laundromat Memories

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Anyone know how I can change the settings for Facebook Chat to always read “not available to chat,” or whatever?  I need that to happen.  Every time I go there some super obscure person from the distant past sends me a message.

Hell, I’m afraid to even visit that site, because it makes me feel vulnerable.  Like I’m running from one foxhole to another during a gun battle.  I know that every second I spend on Facebook, the words AVAILABLE TO CHAT appear beside my hideous photo, and someone might take a shot at me.

Oh, I’m not a total misanthrope, and it’s nothing personal toward the super obscure folks from the distant past, but I literally have no time for such things. Then I feel guilty for ignoring them, and start moving down the shame spiral…

Previously I had it locked down, but apparently something has changed.  I wasn’t able to figure out a solution within one minute — which is my patience window.  Anything outside that time frame causes me to say fukkit.

Do you know how I can make that correction?  Please help me out in the comments section, and, you know, tell me in terms you might use as if addressing a large retarded boy.  I’d be much obliged.

Yeah, I know.  This makes me look like a jerk, but I’ve always hated instant messaging programs.  I love technology, and gadgets, and all the latest stuff, but I HATE instant messaging.  It’s the most intrusive thing ever.  BING!  “Hey, drop what you’re doing and talk with me, right now!!”  BING!!  “I know you’re there.”  BING!!!  “You were always an asshole.”

Am I wrong?  What’s the most annoying technological advancement of the past fifteen years or so?  Is there anything worse than instant messaging?  Or maybe you like it?  If so, state your defense.

As you probably know, Netflix is raising their prices by roughly 60%.  After September 1 it’ll cost me $15.99 to receive the same service I’m now getting for $9.99.  I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m not paying it.  That much has been decided.

I’ll probably go with streaming only, for $7.99.  The selection isn’t great, but there’s always something on there to entertain me for ninety minutes or so.  Heck, I’m not hard to please.  I’ll miss the new release DVDs, but I can maybe check out Red Box.  I’ve never used it, but hear good things.

If you’re a Netflix user, what are you planning to do?  Just suck it up and pay the extra six bucks?  I know it’s not much money, in the grand scheme of things, but it’s the principle.  Ya know?  Seventy-two extra dollars per year, for nothing?  I have a feeling people aren’t going to eagerly embrace that concept.

Tomorrow I need to go to the laundromat again.  Our washer will be repaired soon, but right now it’s still not usable.  So, I’ll get to go hang out with the back tattoo mamas, and the wifebeater/wispy facial hair dudes for a while.  Good times.

Last time I was there, I remembered something we used to do as kids.  There was a laundromat in Dunbar, which was always stiflingly hot inside.  During the summer months they’d prop open the front and back doors, to allow the humid air to circulate a little.

So, my friend Mike and I would ride our bikes through there.  We’d enter through the front door, ride the full length of the place, and exit out the back.  There was a large woman who ran the place, and she’d completely lose her mind every time we’d do it.  And, of course, we found this to be fully hilarious.

Sometimes we’d shake it up and enter through the back door and exit through the front, just to keep things interesting.  And I seem to remember Mike taking a detour inside the building once, and making a big circle around a sorting table.  While that fat woman screeched, and waved her arms around.  It was funny every time.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of experience with laundromats, especially during the Atlanta years.  I once saw a guy puke into a washer, at a laundry near Little Five Points.  I stopped going there, even though it was almost walking distance from my apartment.

I know this is a long-shot, but do you have any laundromat tales to tell?  If so, please use the comments section below.

And I’ll see you guys next time.  Today is my Friday, so I’ll be tending to my always-regenerating to-do list for the next few days.

But I’ll be back soon, real soon.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
Crossroads Road for your Kindle: just $2.99!

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Comments

  1. Good Evening Surf Reporters…

    my use of the laundromat is recent too. Bad circuit in the basement prevents dryer to run, but the washing machine is fine. What we don’t line or rack dry, goes.

    The one in my town is right across from the Dairy Queen and an A-Plus mini mart.
    I try to avoid that triangulation of mayhem as much as possible. It’s right on the main road, which is under repair right now.

    The only time I go is around 6-7 in the morning. Empty most of the time. Load in, walk over to the store for coffee and a paper.

    Pretty quiet, just the way I like it.

    Reply

  2. Wow! Just got back to Jamestown, NY from St. Marys, WV. Great seeing friends, sucked having my best friend transported to Marietta Memorial in the middle of the night this morning.
    Great showing my 12 yo daughter around Marietta and Belpre yesterday. Okay, it was hard to convince her how cool myself, Chuck, and Greg used to be in our prime…but hey, she’ll get old someday too!
    As usual, I came down throgh Washingto, PA, turned onto WV Rt. 2, and started to get tears in my eyes. I like my life now, but I truly loved the part of my life I spent in WV.
    Headin’ back to Alaska on Monday, medical appointment in Anchorage Tuesday afternoon. It’s either nothing, or extremely serious. So if any of you guys are so inclined to pray, I’d appreciate a few words on my behalf!

    Reply

    • So, you traveled through my wife’s home town of Moundsville. Mother in law passed last May, so we still have the house there. We decided to keep it since we visit all the cousins regularly.

      Property taxes are $404.00 per year. I pay more than that per month here in PA the thieving bastards that they are.

      Reply

      • You want thieving bastards? Try Connecticut. I have a similar situation with the house that belonged to my grandparents while they were alive. With property taxes divided among the surviving grandchildren, *each of us* pays about $4000 per year. Most of us can’t afford that, and we’ll probably have to sell the place. Even accounting for real estate values, the tax rate is something like 70% more that what I pay here in Virginia.

        See http://www.taxfoundation.org/taxdata/show/251.html
        .

        Reply

      • Coming into Moundsville in the past, they always had a sign saying, “Boyhood Home of Governor Arch Moore.” Then they changed the sign to “Birthplace of Country Singer Brad Paisley.”

        Arch still lived there…but by that time he had changed his address to a cell in the Stae Penetentury.

        When I first moved to WV 25 or so years ago, my friend told me that the politicians in West Virnia were different than the ones in other states. In all the other states, the politicicians steal 99% of the taxpyer’s money. But here in West Virginia, the politicians steal it ALL!

        BTW, I hate my wife. She wanted to stop by McDonald’s in St. Marys on the way out of town, rather than having an early luch of fish sandwiches at Coleman’s in Wheeling. Wotta ripoff!

        Reply

        • McDonald’s? Wow. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not above snorkling down a McMuffin here and there, but if you have a “local joint” available, why not use it? Especially if they have some regional thing that you can’t get at home (Noank-style chowder, Baltimore pit beef, etc.)
          .

          Reply

        • 100% in agreement. Comparing Coleman’s fish sandwich to McDonald’s is like Kobe beef filet compared to dog shit.

          You should have stopped at McDonald’s and bought wife her filet of fish and told her you were not hungry. Then, stop at Coleman’s and get the good stuff on your way north.

          While on the subject, if anyone is traveling on I-70 just about 7 miles west of Wheeling in to Ohio, take the Saint Clairsville, Ohio mall exit. If heading west, you would turn left to go to the mall. Instead, turn right, go about 400 yards, come to an intersection, turn right again and watch for Mehlman’s Cafeteria on the right. Everything is home made and very inexpensive. They have about 15 entrees, many side dishes, and the best pies anywhere. It is not possible to spend $15.00 there for dinner. Me, my wife, and my daughter can eat there for $25.00 total. Get the cabbage rolls or the meat loaf. Wish I had some of their recipes.

          Reply

    • Safe travels and good health. I found out Thursday my torn rotator cuff was actually an impingement (like a pinching of the muscle)…still likely surgery but not as invasive and a much quicker heal. I hope you have similar “good” news.

      Hell, I plan to get my first tattoo to make use of the scar.

      Good luck and God bless.

      Reply

    • Clintcurtis, Well if cool is defined as barhopping PKB til 3:00am every night, yea, we were cool! PKB had soooo many bars open back then, and lots with good live music. It was really a high party city. Back then, the cops weren’t very picky, and we all drove around drunkern’ snot every night. Everybody made lots of money and life was good. Spring forward to today, and everyone is half afraid to go out, risking a possible DUI, and believe me, the cops are lookin’ for ya. I have a new plan: get all your driving done before you start drinking, and drink in your basement. It’s hard to get arrested there. (Unless something really, really awful happens.)

      Hope the medical stuff comes out OK.

      Reply

  3. I used to frequent a laundromat back in the day that had a sign in big, bold letters:

    NO HORSE BLANKETS, PLEASE

    A horse blanket?! WTF?

    Reply

    • There’s a girl here who rides her horse to the spray wash. She’ll unsaddle but leave the blanket on and hose down Cissy. Seems to be a lot of fun for all involved. Comanches are pussies. They don’t need no stinking laundromats.

      Reply

      • I do that with a couple of the street bums. Just take them over there, line them up against the wall and spray ’em down. They get a bath and their clothes laundered at the same time.

        Reply

  7. Just got home from seeing Jane’s Addiction. WOW, what a great show. Tomorrow night is the last night of Ottawa Bluesfest, highlights include Cheap Trick and Joe Satriani (and Death Cab for Cutie for you OC fans)

    That’ll have me attending six out of twelve nights this year, yeah I’m tired but gosh darn it, long live live music.

    Reply

  8. The classic link- it’s about time Toronto was known for more than being home to two time back to back world series wins in the 80’s.

    Reply

  9. I think a lot of loyal Netflixers are going to feel spurned, discontinue the DVD portion and go streaming. Bad decision for Netflix methinks. Btw re: Fb, from chat select options/go offline. You’ll want to cut yourself less, semi-guaranteed.

    Reply

  10. Last weekend the husband and I went to our local video store. When we checked out the guy at the register looked at our account and noted that we hadn’t rented from them for a couple of months. He asked if we had been cheating on them with Redbox or Netflix. Why, yes, yes we had been cheating on them with Redbox. And we have been considering cheating on them with Netflix too. I feel so dirty.

    Reply

    • Barbie…

      Just a thought. Next time you’re going to cheat — and there will be a next time: cheating is a slippery slope — you might consider cheating with someone with less suggestive names than Redbox and Netflix.

      Had I told any of my legal intimates along the way that I was cheating with Redbox, I don’t believe I would have left the room free of contusions. I don’t believe so.

      jtb

      Reply

    • It’s odd that I would cheat with Redbox at this stage in my life. It really does seem more like something I would have experimented with in college.

      Reply

      • Barbie…

        I can tell you’re still in a youthful stage of life, but if you refuse to cheat I guess you better give me her number and I’ll get right on it.

        Thanks…

        jtb

        Reply

    • Chuck…

      Should you find any Mariners’ offense in the coin return slots, please send it this way. Much obliged.

      jtb

      Reply

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