A few days ago I saw a clickbait article that promised to rank the best “cheap” beers. I can’t find the exact piece, which bugs me more than it should. But here are a bunch of similar ones:
This one
This one
This one
This one
I could keep going, but you get the idea. In the one I saw — possibly the first link above, but I don’t think so — they listed Coors Banquet beer as best overall. I thought that was interesting, because I generally dismiss all things Coors in a highly snooty fashion. Also, I didn’t think I’d had one in 25 years. Best overall? Huh. Maybe I should buy a 6-pack and see if I was being unfair?
At this point in my life I drink mostly fancy-ass craft beers, and Yuengling lager. And I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to do, ’cause the used to do was outrageous. But God knows I’m no stranger to a lot of the beers on the lists above. Not all of them, but most. My friend Tim once remarked, while some other friends and I were in the midst of a “session” a hundred years ago, “If I got lost in the Sahara desert with nothing to eat but saltine crackers, and was finally rescued, I couldn’t drink as much water as you guys drink beer every night.” Heh.
Oh yeah, we used to drink whatever was available too. A lot of Bud Light, Miller High Life, Busch, Stroh’s… whatever. Some defunct classics too, like Meister Brau and Goebel and Little Kings. Also Falls City, remember that?! All of it was pure swill, I’m sure. But we weren’t exactly connoisseurs. We just wanted to crank up the April Wine and start to guzzling. So… I have some insight, much of it many years old. But insight nonetheless.
And this would be my list of favorite “cheap” beers: Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller High Life, and Rolling Rock. A couple of those are probably based in nostalgia, or some sense of ancient brand loyalty. But the Pabst choice is pure. I don’t remember drinking it as a youngling much. But at some point I realized it’s an honest-to-goodness solid choice.
My friend Steve and I attended a baseball game in Cleveland a few years ago, on one of the hottest days I’ve ever experienced. We walked out of that stadium totally depleted, like when Spongebob visited Sandy’s underwater dome. We headed straight for a bar, and Steve ordered something from an obscure brewery in Vermont or somesuch. Still struggling and teetering on the edge of a seizure, I asked the bartender if they had any Pabst tall boys. She said, “Now, that’s more like it!” and went to get our beers. Steve was surprised by my order. But when I started downing that thing it felt like a fire was being extinguished inside me. I’m surprised a puff of smoke didn’t come out. It’s just so drinkable and tasty too. I know it’s an ironic hipster beer, but I’m no longer concerned with such trifles. And, by the way, Steve switched to PBR for the second round. ‘Cause it was the only correct choice.
When it comes to the cheap beers, I’m only down with the ones that existed in 1980 and earlier. Some of the newer ones — like Keystone and shit like that — don’t interest me at all. But I’m thinking about reacquainting myself with some of the old “favorites.” In fact, I purchased a big honkin’ 30-pack of the Coors Banquet on Saturday. Last night I finally had a couple of them… and they were good. I mean, none of it’s great. But it was better than anticipated. And 30 cans cost me $20. Crazy. Maxes out my bunker fridge in a pleasing fashion too. I have to admit, I was being unfair to the Coors Banquet. I hope they’ll accept my apology.
What do you have on this subject? Anything? Please share it in the comments. In addition to your favorite cheap beers and the ones you drank as a youngster, please tell us the brand of your first beer, if you remember. Mine was Miller High Life, purchased underage (at 16!) from Wagner’s Market in Dunbar. I was with my friends Rocky and Mike. We drank them and went to a high school basketball game. And that’s how it started. It was the slipperiest of slippery slopes.
I’m calling it a day here, my friends. Just one more day o’ work, and finally some downtime. I’m burning out! But, at least I have a chilled box of swill in here waiting for me. Ha!
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
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Odd timing, but I just returned from the beer store. I bought some 3 Floyds Zombie Dust, Bell’s Two Hearted, Victory Easy Ringer (too many carb-heavy beers will send me to an earlier grave), and Boddingtons (nasty, but the wife likes it).
The only “cheap” beer I would drink by choice is Icehouse. I’d rather have a Coke than a Bud.
In my formative teenage drinking years it was more cider than beer. In the UK you can buy 3 liter bottles of cider, which we had no trouble obtaining from stores in the bad part of town (conveniently en route to the pot dealer too), then go sit in the park or by the river, get wasted and goof around. When it was beer it was Tennent’s Extra. I had some a few years ago and it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.
Zombie Dust and Bell’s Two Hearted are two of my all-time favorites. Great choices!
If you have opportunity to visit the 3 Floyds brewery (NW Indiana) take it. Obviously the beers are great, but so is the food, and if you like death metal and graphic novels…
As a shitbird hillbilly youth, we drank a ton of Busch Lite and Bud Light, mixed in with a touch of Coors Light and pilfered Labatt Blue from the old man’s stash. Now I generally drink Shiner Bock with Fajitas and Bud Light as a social lubricant.
Cool old school beer hats & shirts:
https://www.angryminnowvintage.com/collections/beverages
Oh wow, Little Kings. I had a buddy from Cincinnasty (his name, no judgement from me) and he would bring back cases of Little Kiings to Atlanta. Thirsty? Just twist the top and drain it.
And of course, PBR. My dad worked for Pabst for years and I drank a lakeful of it. And the big step up, Andecker, a Pabst product meant to compete with Michelob. IMO it was much better.,
Strohs and Rolling Rock ponies. I grew up just North of the Maryland line, and on Fridays & Saturdays we would drive to the beer store and buy a case of ponies. Every kid around knew that store, because nobody got carded. Reminds me of the liquor store in Dazed and Confused where the clerk dispenses advice to a pregnant lady. “See you tomorrow”.
Malt Duck…does that count? We drank that too. Ugh.
Great topic and one I am very familiar with. In high school we used to drink Natural Light but it had to be in bottles. Somehow it tasted better. Believe it or not they weren’t easy to find. Then we migrated to Mickey’s Big Mouth. I had the record with my peers as being able to down a Big Mouth in 3.5 seconds. If you drank a six of Mickey’s Big Mouth not only were you drunk but strangely high as well. I couldn’t stomach one now but they sure were fun back in the day. It was like a poor man’s Heineken. Only due to the skunky smell though. Then we went to Bud long necks. If it was a special occasion, we would drink Lowenbrau. We were big shots drinking that swill, I mean it had that shiny foil around the top of the bottle and all. In college we drank a lot of cheap beer, usually Hamm’s. We would put in the sink of our dorm room and fill with ice, crank up the turntable and play Pente for hours. Good memories. We also drank Meister Brau, Red Dog, Pearl and Lonestar. I loved Little Kings too, I had no idea they are defunct now. They were pretty good. Today I usually will try something new each time I go to the liquor store but I always have some Stella in the fridge too. Sometimes I will get the taste for a “Red Draw” which is about two fingers of tomato juice (spicy is best) in a glass and then fill the rest of the glass with a cheap beer. I think it’s a southwest thing but it sure breaks up the monotony of drinking regular beer. It’s similar to putting olives and a little juice in your beer. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
I’m always envious of the beer selection and pricing in the United States. In Ontario, Canada, a 30 can pack of Coors Banquet is $56!! Not to mention that happy hours and steep discounts on any alcohol sales are against the law (the best we get is a few bucks off here and there). I think our cheapest case (24 bottles) of beer is about $40.
We used to drink the hell out of Rolling Rock 7oz pony bottles in the summer way back when. They never got warm because you could kill one in 2 or 3 slugs, and they came something like 48 to a case. They don’t brew it in the “glass lined tanks” of Old Latrobe anymore (I think it is brewed in Jersey now) so I gave up on that brand. We also drank oceans of Black Label when that swill could be had for $5 a case (24-12oz cans).
The first beer I drank was Schlitz, and during the underage phase, it was my first choice. But I rarely turned down anything offered me in that era.
In college, I switched to Bud and stuck with it until craft beers popped up everywhere. I recently bought a 12-pack (for less than a six-pack of Surf Wax IPA) during a nostalgic grip. It wasn’t bad. Refreshing, not unpleasant, but mostly void of flavor.
Favorite cheap beer: Rolling Rock. Haven’t had one in ages. I may need to revisit it for the nostalgia factor.
The first beer I tasted was my Dad’s Pearl Light when I was a little girl. I have no memory of this, but he does.
I keep a 30 of Coors Banquet in my beer fridge at all times. Makes the pricier craft beers last longer.
I always figured everyone’s first beer was Genesee Cream Ale. For a year in college, my Hoboken to suburban Jersey train ride was accompanied by a PBR tall boy.
I visited in-laws recently who are in a time warp. Debating Coors Banquet vs Miller High Life vs Bud. And “have you ever tried Heineken?”. To them, Sam Adams is like a strange new world.
Coors Banquet, Miller High Life, and Genesee (their one brewery makes it best).
Yep! Don’t forget the Old Milwaukee pounders we could get for about $2 and change per sixer, as well. Miller High Life in the pony bottles was great for sneakin’ it into the movie theaters.
My go to beer is usually from Hop Butcher for the World. Bell’s Double Two Hearted is pretty good. 3 Floyds Gumballhead is decent and sold at Costco.
My first beer was Schlitz, possibly Schaefer. In college, I discovered Coors. It was exotic stuff, newly available on the east coast. Later I graduated to Genny Cream Ale, which was the best of the cheap beers. At least, among those available at the Price Chopper in upstate New York in the 1970s. Back in the day my dad drank Rheingold (the dry beer) because they sponsored the Mets.
These days, it’s the golden age of craft beer. Bell’s is a solid choice, and there are hundreds more good ones.
Genesee was my choice at first. Now it is strictly Icehouse Edge, or Steel Reserve , both at 8 point..
When I was a youngster the drinking age was 18, so when I turned 17 my dad wanted to slowly acclimate me with the drinkin’, so he gave me free rein on the beer supply as long as I was staying home. He drank Miller High Life so that’s what I was weaned on. Grew to love it. When I had my own place I’d get a case of Miller High Life returnables from the neighborhood liquor store and bring them back for exchange a couple days later. Then, in the mid-80’s the beer distributors in NJ went on strike and you couldn’t get any Miller or Budweiser in NJ. That’s when they first started getting deliveries of Coors, because they had their own distributors. No Coors Light crap, just the Banquet Beer. I found it to be very good and stuck with it for a couple years. Eventually switched over to light beer when my body decided to start clinging to every calorie like it’s very existence depended on it. Tried Coors light but gave that up and eventually settled on Miller Lite as my cheap beer. If I’m out, or in the mood to splurge at home, I stick with Amstel Light. Actually tastes like beer and has less calories than most other light beers. I don’t know how they accomplish that. A million years ago when I was married to the first wife, her dad drank Shaeffer, so if we visited I’d suck it up and down several of those. It’s better we don’t speak of that experience…
Mike
OK thems all foreign names to me. Back in the ’80’s here in Australia we had very limited options. The local brews were Victoria Bitter (VB) or Carlton Draught or Fosters! When we were being fancy it was Crown Lager (pretty sure that was Calton Draught in a Tall neck bottle! Or you could get some interstate beers like XXXX ( thats how Queenslanders spell Beer!) Nowadays I’m partial to Heineken or local IPA’s – one especially called MOO Brew made in Tasmania – the guys who owns it also has an “Art” gallery called MONA which is full of weird shit like a wall of plaster cast vaginas and a machine that mimics a stomach and makes shit! An example of his humour is his marked parking spots – his is marked “GOD” and the one next to it is “GODs MISTRESS” – anyway I digress. Keep up the great work Jeff, I WIIL call the Hotline one day soon.
Stuart,
In the 1990s, I worked for a company in the states that had an office in Sydney. I worked in IT, and I learned not to ask the Aussies to make any changes to the computing environment on Friday afternoons Sydney time. The first time I asked them via email I got a response something like, “Can’t right now, mate — up to our arses in tinnies. Bad idea.” So I learned to pick another day, and they were quite obliging. Only a fool would fight the local culture.
As for MONA, the US has a public radio network (called National Public Radio — NPR) that is funded by donations. A year or so ago they did a one hour special about that Tasmanian museum. It sounded pretty wild, even on the radio.
Cheers.
John
John, an example of what’s for sale in the souvenir shop: https://shop.mona.net.au/collections/featured/products/soaps
And you are correct – don’t disturb the boys when they’ve got their beer goggles on!
Stuart, I didn’t anticipate that level of gimcrackery from the museum gift shop, but I guess it’s part of the whole “land down under” thing. I’d send for one, but at my age I can’t think of anyone to gift it to. Thanks for the tip, though.
John
I believe my first beer was a Miller High Life that I stole from my oldest Brother, in 1975. Back in the day, my father-in-law drank Gottlieb. Not bad, and very cheap back then. As an Airman in the early 80’s, it was Red White and Blue beer from the commissary. I am not even sure it is sold anymore. It was 99 cent a six pack! Now, when I do have a beer, I enjoy Grolsch or Sweetwater Blue. Yep, I got old.
First beer I had as a 15yo was Little Kings 7oz’ers. At the local drive-in movie theater here in Central Ohio. Woot! Puked that night fo sho.
Started an Old Style kick later on in high school because they came in 8-packs – which was great for weeknights – where a 6-pack wasn’t enough and 12-pack was too many.
Still drink cheap stuff, I do like Yuengling, Coors Banquet and Miller Lite. If there’s a ‘premium’ beer for me, it’s Newcastle Brown Ale.
Just a quick interlude in the beer stories to remember Elgin Baylor, who died early this morning. No stats — Elgin had great stats, but he also had artistry. In 1957, my best friend’s brother, who was a dozen years older than us, was attending Seattle University, 30 miles to the north. He called my friend Tony and told him to get the hell up to Seattle and check out Elgin Baylor: the tickets were on him. Tony’s dad drove us up to the game: Seattle U now plays at Elgin Baylor Court in Seattle, but at the time it was your standard run-down roundball palace. We enjoyed the game, but watching Mr. Baylor play small forward was like watching somebody who refused to obey the laws of gravity. I subsequently attended many Sonics games during their great years, and I never saw anybody depart the floor for as long as Baylor did. He flew. He was a good man — when he turned pro for the Minneapolis Lakers he refused to play if he couldn’t stay at the team hotel — but he was also an artist.
Elgin Baylor owned Seattle for two years. The Chieftains started selling out once the word got out. He stayed for two years, but he wanted to take care of his parents so he went to play for the Lakers where he was named Rookie of the Year and became a legend.
He’s back to flying now. The man could soar.
John
I used to drink pbr tall boys for two bucks each at my local watering hole in Alabama. I was the only one drinking them I was told. But for $20 I could get drunk and on Tuesday nights they served dinner. Steaks if you wanted but mostly things like chili dogs with their very finely ground chili and steamed buns holy hell I’m shell shocked!!!
My aunt worked at a grocery store from which she’d bring beer they couldn’t sale (cans covered in exotic foreign writings and one I remember a can that had fighting cocks proudly displayed on the label.) And sometimes you’d get a real funky one and I was never able to get past the smell after opening some of them – the smell of rotting flesh and a whispy mist of stink funk could be seen rising from the opening. Limburger cheese stout, that type of blatant attack on the senses. Other times it was pretty good beer, cheap. I seemed to do better with the ones that had porcelain stoppers that others seemed unwilling to try but they seemed to me the best. Dark and sometimes cloudy.
In the early ’60s my Dad and I stopped at the Silver Springs Brewery in Tacoma, WA to visit my Uncle Harry who worked on the bottling line there. I have no idea why we would visit a guy who, with a dozen other guys was trying to keep up with a U-shaped bottling line that was capping, labeling, QA-ing, and boxing thousands of bottles of beer moving entirely too fast on a two level power rubber and roller-disc line. Let’s just say that it was an informal work environment: no smoking to avoid ashes in the bottles, but pretty informal. On any day they might be bottling Hartz, Pioneer, Olde Pilsner, Oldstyle, Gold Seal, or even Pioneer Red One (beer with tomato juice).
Care was taken to pick out bottles that were mis-capped. They were tossed cavalierly into a garbage can (but never broken — the bottles were reused). Exceptional care was taken to pick out bottles with labeling errors: crooked labels, double labels, no label, etc. This was the QA station where Uncle Harry was working the afternoon we visited him. He was the most important guy on the line because the label errored bottles went to the line and brew workers — either to consume on their work breaks or to take home and share with the wife and kids.
My dad drank beer but I never saw him drunk, so it took me awhile to notice that most of the line workers had been drinking a little. So when someone on the front of the line noticed a crooked label, he would just pick it out and turn and toss it over and down to the QA guy. Since it was a U-shaped line, the QA guy had his back to the upper part of the line, so the tosser would alert him that there was a full bottle of beer coming his way while the beer was in the air. Every few minutes you’d hear the word “beer” (or, more accurately, “beeah”) and Uncle Harry would have to turn around, catch the bottle, put it carefully in the employee box, and turn back to the line and continue QA-ing. The tossers were uncannily accurate and Uncle Harry could catch with the best of them, but I did see one double toss (“beeahbeeah) and a man does have his limits. There was a kid with a broom and a mop who I suspect wasn’t paid enough.
I miss Uncle Harry, who always called me Johnny. I hated it when I was young and loved it when I hit middle age and beyond. The man could catch beers like Willie Mays caught baseballs while carrying on a conversation with his brother and nephew and QA-ing a long line of Oldsyle. They ought to give out awards for that but alas they just automate the process and move on.
John
Great story Johnny! It looks like you are showing your age as I looked it up and that brewery closed in ’67.
Back in the day, I drank a ton of Genesee Cream ale because it was the cheapest.
Not that I also am a beer snob, I definitely look down on the cheap beer, but, as Jeff suggests, there are definitely situations where a super light American pale ale is great, like when I’m hot such as after mowing the lawn or after a softball game, etc., or maybe when sitting on the beach.
Then, my preference is a Yuengling lager, but a PBA isn’t bad.
But that’s what they make “session” beers for, right? They are definitely better than the cheapass beers! So if available, those are my choices…
That’s just about the definition of a lawnmower beer. Sometimes it’s exactly what you need.