So, Nancy is reportedly writing a book of some kind, with another professor. And her writing partner sounds like he might actually be wackier than she is.
She told Toney the guy is “absolutely brilliant,” but strange. During their most recent meeting, for instance, he announced that he has a split personality. And the Michael she’d known up to that point was “host Michael.” But today she was dealing with “alternate Michael.”
“Host Michael is excited to be working with you on this project,” he said. “But alternate Michael is feeling resentful, and frankly annoyed. Alternate Michael wishes he were somewhere else right now.”
Toney was telling me about this kookery, and it just confirmed how we need more Nancy in our lives. She’s the gift that keeps on giving. We haven’t seen her, or her family, in a long time.
However… Unless something changes, Toney and her cousin are going to fly to North (or is it South?) Carolina, for a visit, in just a few weeks. I won’t get to witness anything first-hand, but Toney does a good job at reporting from the field. So, stay tuned.
Oh, and Nancy’s reaction to the Host/Alternate Michael revelation? “I’m sure he’ll just be another man who lets me down…” Awwww, that’s sad.
I worked more than 60 hours last week, and unless my heart seizes up, I’ll be doing it again this week. Sorry I’ve been falling down on my posting duties, but I’m living at my job these days. Not good.
One night I was there, and bought a salad for lunch. They have a pretty good salad bar in the cafeteria, and it’s cheap. I pile ’em up, and they never costs more than four bucks.
Anyway, they had radishes on the salad bar. I don’t see radishes too often anymore. It seems like they were around a lot more when I was a kid. Have they fallen out of favor? I always liked them.
In fact, they remind me of my grandmother. She used to cut up celery and cucumbers, and that sort o’ thing. She called it a relish tray. And there were always radishes. So, they’ll forever be associated with my grandmother.
One thing I forgot, though: they’re big-time burp fuel. Wow! I was belching those bastards deep into the night. It wasn’t bad, though. At least not for me. I can’t speak for my co-workers.
For a Question, I’d like to know your favorite burp-inducing foods. Hot dogs will do the trick, in a pleasing way. What else do you recommend? Use the comments link below.
And I’ll try to do better this week. No promises, though. My one-day weekend is over.
See ya next time, my friends!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!
Nancy! God I have missed her.
Me too! We need more Nancy!!
I burp for wildlife
Damn it man!
Green peppers!
Beer! Beer is good food.
The first gulp of an ice cold Coke does it for me.
Black Chuckles candies – well, all flavored Chuckles – will forever remind me of my grandfather. He’d toss us a bag and tell us not to eat the black ones and of course we would and give him back the yellow and green ones.
If I think of it, I’ll buy a bunch of radishes and put them in my salad.
I could REALLY use a Nancy and Translucents fix. is Nossy still in the picture? Wasn’t he boinking a student?
Cheerios make me burp like a mofo.
I miss the klown kar of kookerie that is Nancy, Nossy and the Translucents.
So you’re the real Jeff and not some bloody alternate, right?
Instead of cooked vegetables we have a relish tray with dinner every night. We consume a much larger variety and more in amount than we ever would with cooked vegetables.
Radishes and cucumbers work well for me but the worst smelling are those following any type of spicy sausage.
Anr Nancy and Nostrils split? Not sure if I heard the end of that story… I guess I’m assuming they are.
Beer and burps go well together.
Cucumbers and bell peppers.
Yeah, I’ve missed ‘Nancy, Nostrils, and the translucents’ updates, they’ve brought so much to my life, like the term ‘wiffy’. Last I remember, he had been unfaithful and she was on the prowl (full body shiver), so what’s the latest?
*knife and fork to table* More Nancy! More Nancy! More Nancy!
Is it just me or did Nostril’s fling coincide with the oldest translucent learning how to needlepoint. Didn’t he throw his hoop down in protest that he would never ever use deodorant?
Yes, peppers. Looking forward to the Nancy Report; it’s been too long!
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Scallions for me. I try to store my scallion burps so I can do them in the cat’s face, the look he gets when hit by scallion wind is priceless, it’s like a “Wahhh” face from a Kung-Fu movie.
He’s probably shitting in my shoes right now.
ah, Limey! I laughed my ass off re: your Kung-Fu ref. I can see it!!
Broccoli gives me gas something awful. I never really burp much. The knee buckling farts are enough.
Ballplayers hitting below the Mendoza Line and land wars in Asia.
jtb
Coffee used to. Been almost 18 years since I had a cup.
Nothin really gives me the burps other than a newly “popped” can of pop or beer in general. On the other hand, deviled eggs make me fart for a week.
Farting on your hand is bad form.
Sounds like an awesome way to passive aggressively say that you can’t stand someone.
My brother used to do fine finish wood-work for home builders. I asked him if it bothered him when the owners hovered over him, asking questions, etc. His way of making sure people stayed away was to eat a lot of cabbage and beans the night before.
roflmfao!
I would also like to know the current state of the Nancy/Nossy situation. Did she forgive his indiscretion? Or did she kick him to the curb without fresh underwear? Did the student end up in therapy?
Did you know the French eat radishes by spreading butter on them?
I can’t decide…
a) That sounds tasty, but how does the spreading of butter result in the radish getting into the stomach?
2) Did you know there is no proper name for the back of the knees?
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Actually, the French also spread butter on the back of the knees. Helps them surrender quicker.
jtb
Right on jtb!