When we lived in Atlanta Toney and I went to a bar called Moe’s and Joe’s, every Saturday afternoon. We’d get there about four o’clock, and order a pitcher of Pabst Blue Ribbon, almost without fail. If you know Moe’s, you know it’s all about the Pabst; the place is a virtual shrine to PBR. Oh, they offer other beers, but it’s… not recommended.
Sometimes we’d also order food, but the pitcher was an automatic. And since we were so consistent, they eventually started bringing our beer without us having to ask. And I loved that. We were regulars, at one of the funkiest dive bars in the South. I considered it a great achievement. …Hello?
The night before I got married, I was in Moe’s with my brother, and possibly Steve. I can’t remember the details for some reason. And Toney and I hashed out all our big decisions there, over some see-through beer, and a basket of onion rings. I’m sure we decided to buy our first house, while seated in one of those dilapidated steel-spring-in-the-ass-cheek booths.
When we were regulars (hell yeah!), a very old black man was a waiter. His name was Horace, and he’d been working there since before the JFK assassination. And that’s not a joke. He was an Atlanta institution, and whenever you ordered a Pabst he’d say, “The finest!” Every time. Horace is, unfortunately, no longer with us.
And on the men’s room wall was this memorable bit of graffiti: “If you voted for Newt Gingrich you can’t shit here, because your asshole is in Washington.”
I loved that place, and as far as I can remember… it’s the only bar (or restaurant) where I achieved “regular” status. And I couldn’t have wished for a more perfect locale.
There’s a Chinese restaurant here, where the waitress knows what we’re going to order, before we order it. But she always confirms it, just in case. There’s no automatic bringing forth o’ the food. So, that’s close, but not quite the same. Right?
What about you? Have you ever risen to the heights of being a regular somewhere? Paul Westerberg wrote a song about it, many years ago, but it featured the line, “Am I the only one who feels ashamed?” Paul, Paul, Paul… I love you, man, but you’re way off on that one. Regularism is a high achievement. …Possibly.
I’m still not feeling so hot, so this is going to have to do it. When I got out of bed on Tuesday I could tell illness was on the horizon. And now it’s here. Oh well. It doesn’t happen very often, and this is just a bad cold. I’m sure I’ll live through it. And hopefully you won’t catch it, by reading my words?
Have a great day, boys and girls.
I’ll be back soon.
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada
The Qweezy Mark says
I’m glad they always confirm, at my most frequented bars, before slapping down a double Beam. Sometimes that’s just a little much (but not often).
Joe T. says
They head down the cellar to ring up a new bottle when you walk in.
We were regular enough at the local Mexican joint that when we returned after a long hiatus, the waiter asked, with genuine concern, if everything was alright.
My old dry cleaners knew me and pulled my shirts when they saw me crossing the parking lot.
At the first school I taught at, our happy hour place was right outside the neighborhood. There was a stoplight that we would sit at before turning in that you could see from the front window. every Friday, our waiter would see our cars at that light and have our beers on the table in our regular spots by the time we walked in the door. Good times.
I’ve been a regular at waaaay too many bars. Now, I’m just a regular in my basement.
Bill in WV says
Greg, with every cop on the lookout for DUI’s, you’re better off buddy. I had to build my own bar to make up for the lost time hanging out at my regular watering holes.
Exactly. Plus, it’s a lot cheaper.
Agreed. Now when I go out, I order one drink then switch to iced tea. (sigh) I feel old.
I want to drink at y’alls bars.
In OKC I plan on building a deck with a sweet bar. What? Oh yes there will be wifi and music and sports. Thank you for asking. I may even smuggle a keg of dogfish in. You know. For charity.
Are there any decent beers made within, say, a couple hundred miles of OKC? Just wondering, because I’ve found that beer often doesn’t travel well. Coronado Islander IPA is fantastic at the brewery, but only pretty good after a 3000-mile trip. One time I bought three big bottles of Kasteel Gouden Tripel, and two of them had gone bad on the transatlantic journey. DFH is made here on the east coast, and it’s quite a ways from Delaware to Oklahoma.
Coop ale works makes a damn fine beer. The DNR is 10% alcohol.
All made right next to where I drink and where I went to rehab.
Wow. On my hypothetical brewery tour, I’d be sampling the Amber, the Toad, the Zepp, the Gran Sport, the F5 and the DNR in that order.
I’m very happy to be living in the Golden Age of Beer. There’s so much good stuff available off the shelf, it’s almost not worth homebrewing anymore.
Weekend on Jan 15th they had an open house. So I did.
Bill in WV says
I can proudly say I got to meet Horace on one of my visits. Nice guy, but I think he charged us 50 cents for a little basket of popcorn. The hell man, that shit is supposed to be complimentary with beer purchase.
Only the peanuts are complimentary.
Phil Jett says
I was a regular for four years at a little dive in Orlando called T’s Corner pub. I’d have a cold draft, whatever the special was, waiting for me by the time I made it from the door to the bar.
On Friday I’d have a bowl of some of the best chili topped with pickled jalapenos and sour cream too. Never had to ask.
How shameful to have to admit this, but this morning the regular girl at the McDonald’s drive thru reminded me I didn’t want cheese on my Sausage McMuffin.
I hope you get over the cold soon, Jeff! I caught one two weeks ago from dickwads at work who come in with pneumonia so they won’t have to take a “sick day” leaving people like me with no immune system & no hours left to take off to suffer. (Big C wiped me out). I thought I was over it, but woke up today with a scratchy throat & an achy head. WTH? Two colds in two weeks? Have I pissed off Satan or something?
I love the pic of Norm & Cliff. I’ve recently begun watching Cheers after never seeing it before in my life. I LOVE IT. Whatta great show. I read up on it a bit & found that the guys who played Cliff & Norm wanted real beer but due to insurance issues with the network they were given a very low-alcohol grade beer that had salt poured in it, to create the head. That is why on some episodes when they pour it there is virtually no head at all and others, way too much. Both guys said if you look carefully you’ll see everybody going out of their way to not drink it. The writers would mess with them sometimes & write in a scene where they had to quickly down the “beer” & both guys would gag it down. Poor saps!
Big C? Clitoris?
It took me 10 years to get on the “A” list at Big Dave’s Dam Saloon in Austin. That’s cuz I only went there 5 nights a week.
I hung out there so long that eventually the waitresses we were hitting on were the daughters of the girls we hit on in high school.
I am a regular in 3 local establishments. Believe it or not, I’ve been offered a line of credit when times get tough. It’s nice.
I am MOST PROUD however of my ability to assist a REGULAR when I worked at the local carry-out long ago. She played $23.00 worth of lotto numbers every day.
Thinking back, it took several months of reciting the numbers in my head in her pattern of speech as she told them to me before I made the attempt.
For the next two years I was her God. (:
Alice in WV says
I hab a code, too.
Yup, I earned “regular” status at Moe’s & Joe’s for a little while, right around 2006-2007. They knew that I wanted a pitcher of PBR, and a double of buffalo chicken quesadillas with extra blue cheese. The waitress back then was Drea… she was a hot little 4’9″ chick.
Unfortunately, my usual Moe’s & Joe’s drinking buddies left Atlanta, and it was too far away from my home to be worth going alone… so I moved on to other bars.
Now I’m a regular at the new bar in my neighborhood, a place called The Porch. The beer’s not nearly as cheap… but I’m not nearly as cheap either. I used to really enjoy those $4 pitchers of PBR from Moe’s & Joe’s. Now I’m willing to spend $3 for a glass of Yuengling.
a few years back in my early 20’s i went to the same bar called legends every weekend, the bouncers eventually knew me as a regular and stopped IDing me, and it was a wild place so they always had some girl standing on the bar pouring shots down peoples throats, i was always first in line for that as well. it didnt take long for me to get into full swing as soon as i walked in the door, everyone knew me.
I went form being a regular at 2 different bars to becoming a regular at a diner. And it’s a diner we only get to maybe once every 2 or 3 months. I get the patty melt, special sauce and onion rings instead of the fries and Beloved gets the fried calamari “appetitzer” turned into a full blown dinner complete with soup and vegetables. The kitchen help calls him “fish man” and they load that platter with so much calamari, they practically have to wheel it out! We tip lavishly for all the extras! It’s worth it.
I like too many different drinks to be a “regular” and order the same old same old. Some days I want beer, some a miced cocktail, some wine.
Some days you eat the bar and some days well (muh obliged) the bar eats you!
ugh friggin typos. MIXED drinks and MUCH obliged.
For several years I was (tragically) a regular at the Clermont. When I ordered a real drink as opposed to my usual $2 PBR, I was even given a real glass. I must have qualified as a classy regular if Haley was convinced that I wouldn’t break the glass.
We are regulars at a bar called The Ranch. My late husband first introduced me to that place almost 10 years ago. A lot of people avoid it like a dark alley because of it’s “biker bar” status. But it has calm down over the years. Gone are the gun shots into the ceiling, constant police visits, and burn outs in the front door from someone’s back tire. Although if, on occasion, I have to drag an exgirlfriend by her hair through the bar and stomp on her neck so be it. Usually when we walk in, our drinks are ready and waiting. But lately, I’ve been laying off beer and ordering Mikes Hard Lemonade Black Cherry or a yummy bay breeze.
“Although if, on occasion, I have to drag an exgirlfriend by her hair through the bar and stomp on her neck so be it.”
OK, folks, raise of hands. Who is DYING to see this? I know I am!
I’d buy a ticket to see that.
Bill in WV says
I’ll just haul off and kick old green-teeth right in the knee !!!
Hobo Lounge in OKC is like that.
And do you mean cadillac ranch? Yeah that place can be rough.
Chuck in Belpre says
I’ll hold him, Burl. You knee him in the kidneys.
No, t….not the Cadillac Ranch. It used to be called The Robin Ranch, then the Doodle Ranch, now new owners call it the Kosbar Ranch. Its off the Coraopolis/McKees Rocks exit of I79. Stop in some time. I’ll drag u through the bar by your hair. 🙂
Short-n-curly’s will get your attention.
And my affection.
Back when our shop was located within walking distance of a coffee shop and diner, we where well known. The coffee shop (non-chain) would see all of us a few times during the day, and the diner, a few times a week. Its nice to walk in and not have to wait for what you want since it was already started.
A couple of summers ago I became a regular at the Mellow Mushroom in Charlottesville. Regular meaning that the bartenders knew my name and said hello. They would never have a beer waiting, because I would usually have something different every day. It’s hard not to, since they have 39 (!) taps of imports and micros, many of which change often.
And hey, how bout that shooting in the Burgh? Hope all you Yinzers are OK.
That happened a couple miles from the hospital I’m at. People are going bat shit crazy here, I’m telling you. Today’s shooting….the wacko armored truck driver that shot his partner excecution style and took off with 2.3 million bucks last week…..fucking people are going off the deep end in the Burg!
Rat Bastard says
Off the deep end, indeed, bikerchick! I don’t even want to go out tonight, weird mojo in this city recently. The talking heads on the news are having a goddamned field day with this shit.
I KNOW! Glad my fellow Yinzers are hanging tough.
And, of course, the Sun is exploding. Be safe out there…
Damn, I was just getting used to the Sun. I was a regular.
I become a regular in every town I move to. I did it in Chicago in 5 days.
In newport KY I was such a regular I got barred from my favorite bay.
2 bars in OKC I can walk in and not have to order (Hilo, Drunken Fry)
In Newport it’s now The Liars Club.
Vegas, that’s a tough one.
In the late nineties I was living on Main St in Cincy across from a place called the Westminster. I could walk in there and Pat Murphy would pour me a guinness. I didn’t always want a guiness, but I wasn’t going to fuck up the Norm factor. He also bartended my college graduation party.
In St. Louis it is Colorado Bob’s (Ship of fools) and formerly Fred (God Damned!) Friction’s Music Lounge.
I can still walk in to anyplace where Fred works and he’ll open me up a Stag whether I order one or not. If they don’t have Stag, Fred won’t work there.
Bill in WV says
T, which one in Newport? I love hanging out over there when we go to Cincy. Going in May. Any suggestions?
The main bar I used to go to in Newport is called the Crazy Fox. It’s got good beer, decent drink prices, ok juke box. A few of the bartenders are some of my best friends. It’s at the corner of ninth and washington.
The other bar I like over there now is Shortnecks which is on Monmouth.
Oh yeah, and coaches corner on 6th and washington (Right near pompillio’s).
And finally the diviest of all dives – Jerry’s Jug House at 7th and Overton. That place used to literally be in my back yard. Cheap beer and hilarious people watching.
Rat Bastard says
I’m a regular at a few bars here in the ‘burgh, and proud of it. Since moving into the new neighborhood, it took all of two weeks for the bartenders at the new drinking hole to know what I want as soon as I come through the door. Tip yer bartender well!
Be good to your bartender, and your bartender will be good to you.
Rat Bastard says
Words to live by.
Bill in WV says
Be good to your bartenter, or become victim of the old Visine trick.
hot fuzz says
I saw the title and thought for sure this was going to about bowel movements and fiber.
Same here. Visions of Frankenstein walking and full dilation
Warren Ferguson says
Brenda at the Community Inn, Roanoke, VA starts fixing me a Yuengling Red eye as soon as I walk in the door, no questions asked. When I was commuting from NJ home to Roanoke on weekends in my ’86 Crown Vic the old guy who owned a “case place” near Indiantown Gap,PA would holler at his son “get two cases of America’s finest” for the hillbilly.
…got him a ride in a new Crown Vic….
We don’t have a regular bar as my husband doesn’t drink and my digestive tract is ready to explode if I should so much as look at booze again. I was in an Irish pub recently, sadly sucking down a Sprite, when I noticed a puffy former frat boy type in there grilling the bar owner about the place. He was quizzing him on the history of the bar, taking notes on the beer selection, “touring” the establishment (all two rooms of it), and deeply scrutinizing the promotional t-shirts like Inspector 12. He made it clear he was “interviewing” different pubs for the privilege of becoming his regular joint. Wotta douche! You gotta just let that shit happen naturally, man!
He’s the asshole who makes himself a regular, learns the bartenders names, buys them drinks, and then gets offended when he’s not invited to other stuff.
Not just regular douchebaggery, but High Douchebaggery.
Agreed. Plus he was a Jets fan. Pfftf!
“Interviewing? Is that a fact son. I like that idea. How ’bout I come by your place and look around a bit and see if I want you for a customer. Go fuck yourself.”
WB in OH says
Exactly!!! Let me introduce your face to the sidewalk!
Wow, what an asshole. I would have sliped a booger into his Guiness.
I believe that drink is called “The Big Greenie”. LMAO!!!!
Just in time for St. Patty’s day!
I think when Paul sings about feeling ashamed, he might be referring back to the verse:
“You’re like a picture on the fridge that’s never stocked with food…
I used to live at home, now I stay at the house”
He may be feeling shame about the loss his “home” or being alone in his home…and now the bar becomes his substitue home. Remember, this is the same dude that said “bring your own lampshade, somewhere there’s a party”. I suspect he’s perfectly fine with spending time being a regular.
Love the site. I’m a regular.
Is club foot some sort of dance I’m unaware of?
I seem to recall that Club Foot was a fancy but short-lived dance club in Adams-Morgan about 10 years ago. I could be mistaken.
The best pub within walking distance from current place of work is affectionately known as “meeting room seven”. I walk in and the nice lady behind the bar asks, “Landlord?” and say yes please. Timothy Taylor’s Landlord, brilliant pint.