Obviously, I don’t get drunk at work. Let’s be clear about that. I mean, seriously. But Toney and I were watching an episode of The Office a few days ago and Jim and Andy got smashed while working on some special project after hours, and it got me to thinkin’… Do people really get a buzz on at work, during regular business hours? I assume the answer is yes, and would like to get your feedback on this one.
Some personal experience I’ve had on the subject:
When I worked at Fas-Chek, a grocery store in Dunbar, I think all the managers were hitting the sauce, all day long. They kept bottles in their cars and were walking back and forth on an almost continuous basis. Then they’d come back in and call us numb-nuts and shit-for-brains, etc. Ahhhh… such precious memories.
In fact, after I’d been there for a year or so, and earned his trust, the night manager would occasionally ask me if I wanted a “special Coke.” Then he’d leave the store for a few minutes, and bring me back a bottle of soda loaded with rotgut whiskey. Helped take the edge off of a long night of stocking the feminine napkins.
And at the same store, we used to drink beers inside the walk-in coolers, after 10 pm when the drunk manager went home. It’s insane, now that I think about it, but the manager left at 10 and the store stayed open until midnight. So, for the last two hours, the whole place was run by dumbass high school kids. As you might imagine, shenanigans ensued.
Later, at the Dunbar Exxon, there was a lot of drinking on the job, as well. The owners left around 5 pm, it was super-busy until about 8 pm, then it was Miller Time. When I worked the overnight shift, Miller Time started upon arrival. You’d get your register drawer in order, clean up to your satisfaction behind the counter, and grab a quart of beer from the cooler. Ridiculous.
Also, in Atlanta, I worked at a place called Gemini Distributing for about six months. They were an indie music distributor, located in Norcross. Long out of business… But I went to lunch most days with some rambunctious character straight out of The Bronx, or somesuch. His accent was as thick as his drinking problem. He was a smart dude, and a musician, as well. But he had a small problem with the bottle… And he’d get shithoused on lunch break every day. We’d go to Pizza Hut and he’d do nothing but drink beer. He’d start with a pitcher, finish it off, and start ordering pints until our hour was up. He was always trying to get me to join him, and I never would. “I guess you’re not as hard-driving as I am…” he’d say in his Bowery Boys accent. Wonder what happened to that guy? He was no dummy, that’s for sure.
What do you have on this? Anything? Please share your stories of drinking on the job. Use the comments section above or below. I can’t remember and am too lazy to check.
Finally, I have something to announce from the Biting Off More Than I Can Chew desk… I’ve decided to release two episodes of the podcast every week, instead of just one. Until I change my mind, there will now be episodes released on Monday and Thursday. But… here’s how it’s gonna work:
Monday’s episode will be available everywhere, including the podcast app currently on your phone. Wherever you get yer podcasts, the Monday episodes will be there and completely free. Eventually. More on that in a moment…
Thursday’s episode will be available only to patrons at Patreon who contribute $4 or more per month. Just like it is now. Nothing changes with Thursday. These episodes WILL NOT be available everywhere. Only at Patreon.
In fact, all episodes will be available at Patreon. Monday will be wide-open to anyone who cares to listen, and Thursday will be locked-down for patrons only.
Is that confusing? I don’t think it is, but what do I know?
By the way, a HUGE thank you to the folks who have decided to support me at Patreon. You guys are awesome, and I appreciate it sincerely. I hope you’re enjoying the podcast, and I’m working on some other patron-only benefits, as well. Thank you guys!
And I’m enjoying the podcast more than I could’ve ever imagined and want to crank it up a bit. I like the idea of having one episode per week available to the general public. It’s fun, so far. Let’s see what happens with it. Nothing but crickets probably, but you never know.
Here’s the frustrating part, though. The center of the podcast universe, unfortunately, is Apple. Most of the podcast directories feed off iTunes in some way, so you HAVE to be on iTunes. And dealing with Apple is nothing short of maddening. In fact, after I published Crossroads Road I attempted to get it into the Apple ebooks store, and finally just said fukkit. They make it so impossibly complicated you want to start punching panes of glass.
And this was no different. I started the odyssey on Saturday afternoon, and finally got the thing submitted to iTunes sometime on Sunday. During that time I nearly had a full-on nervous breakdown. If it hadn’t been for a Reddit page for podcasters, I would’ve never figured it out. Check this: you have to use the first Apple ID you ever created (not necessarily the current one) with which you made a purchase. So, if your login information has changed through the years, the current one won’t work for submitting a podcast. You have to use the one from 2006 or whatever. Nowhere is this information made clear, plus it makes no sense. WTF??
Anyway, it’s in Apple’s hands now. I’m waiting for them to review and approve the podcast. From what I read it can take anywhere from three hours to ten days. I received a confirmation email from them, but no approval yet. So… let’s give it some time.
The first episode is, however, up in Stitcher. They’re the second largest directory, so that’s some progress. Also, it’s at Patreon. I had some problems with this one, including a power outage, two computer crashes, and my son suddenly blasting Slayer while I was recording. Also, I was a little tired and sound a bit Tom Waits-like. But I think there are some laughs. I’m pretty happy with it. Give it a listen, if you’re so inclined.
Hopefully, by next Monday you’ll be able to pull the Monday episodes up on your favorite app. Except for Spotify. You have to have five episodes in the can before Spotify will add you. But we’ll be there soon. As they say… stay tuned.
And I’m calling it a day, my friends. Let me know what you have on people drinking at work. And if you have any questions about the podcast thing, put ’em in the comments and I’ll respond ASAP. The Surf Report is blocked at my job (I think it’s categorized as FILTH), so it’s a little difficult. But I’ll answer as soon as I can.
I’ll see you guys again soon. Thursday, in fact.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
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I recall seeing some of that when I was in the military.
And also in some of the restaurants/pizza shops where I worked in back in the early 90s.
Not now though. I think you’d get locked up for something like that now.
Augh – so I am NOT first.
Whee – I’m first!
Used to work with a group who would go out to lunch regularly and have a beverage, but nothing crazy. Now that I work at home I could probably dip into the liquor cabinet anytime I wanted to, but that doesn’t seem like good employee behavior.
Back in the day I worked as a server and bartender and cocktail waitress, so you bet there was some drinking on the job going on, but that seems like such a different atmosphere from corporate office-land that I don’t think it really counts.
WAY back in the dark ages I worked as an actual scientist in an actual lab at an actual University, an there would be a monthly ‘Friday Afternoon Research Talk’ that, in addition to the science-y stuff presented, also featured pizza and beer. Pouring a sequencing gel after a couple of beers was quite the little challenge!
“Friday Afternoon Research Talk” – I love acronyms!
My first job out of school was in Irvine, California. A couple of us would spend our lunch breaks (sometimes an hour, occasionally longer) at the Sutton Place Hotel (now the Fairmont Hotel, I think) a couple of blocks away in Newport Beach. We would walk in through the lobby liked we owned the place, duck into the bathroom, change into our swimsuits, and head up to the pool. They had a pool bar so of course we had to order lunch and the occasional drink. As if the pool, alcohol, and food wasn’t good enough, Air France would send their flight crews from LAX to this hotel for their layovers and the flight attendants were almost always laying out and swimming topless.
I was in my late teens and working for a coffee shop / restaurant of sorts as a dishwasher, sometimes cook when the main cook would come in drunk and go in the back to sleep it off. This place had a “Lounge” where all manner of beer and mixed drinks could be had. The owners of the place would leave just before closing and the fun then began! We used to sit in the lounge after closing and drink off of the kegs so the owners would not see any missing inventory haha! In retrospect, being drunk and driving at 17 years old was probably not a good idea, but a hell of a good way to get the party started before I’d hook up with my buddies later that night.
That’s pretty cool. I tried to get a brick from a school I went to in 1973 a while back. It was recently torn down.
Having worked in radio, drinking on the job is almost a prerequisite. I’ve often been part of a kegger on the patio after the boss man brought it in. And since there are no real off hours, keep it in a Solo cup on weeknights and weekends. Hell, I’ve even been there as the owner was visibly hammered showing folks around. At one place during the late 80s, you could put 50 cents in the drink machine, tap the Max Headroom New Coke button, and a Bud Light would appear below. I know Brad took advantage of that a few times.
Thanks Eugene you took my story. A whole lotta fun was had between 7 to midnight.
I think I gave off “narc” or “informant” vibes back in the good ol’ days. Probably still do. Anyway, I know those shady manager types were up to no good, but it was never shared with (or offered to) me. But, two of my SERIOUSLY SHADY “managers” at a Blockbuster video would consistently plan and schedule which car stereo parts, speakers, etc., were needed to be cased, stolen and sold to order. I was so young and innocent, I couldn’t grasp what I was witnessing and I guess they knew it and felt comfortable making their plans in front of me! Yikes. Those scumbags are probably still working in that same building (in whichever incarnation poor BBV morphed into).
Jesus, Jeff, your own company blocks the WVSR? Is it the mildly unladylike language or the dick jokes?
jtb
My timing has never been terrific. I stopped smoking weed about thirty years before my state legalized the stuff. I did share a doobie with an old smokemate on emancipation day or Juneteenth or whatever they called the first day of legality, and then remembered why I stopped smoking, being unable to locate my prefrontal cortex.
So my dear Sis has a degenerative medical condition, and her doc told her she might want to supplement her opioid intake with a microdose of ganja, rather than increasing her synthetic poppy consumption. Thus, her invitation to me to join her at the local Weed Store.
Of course, we randomly chose the Fas-Chek of mary-jane outlets. Everybody at the “joint” was stoned, from the greeter/cashier to the “experts” behind the counter to the guy sweeping up (heaven knows what he was sweeping up). They ran the entire gamut, from Cheech to Chong. “Oh, man, good choice. This’ll really wreck you.” We finally went elsewhere and found that smoking on the job was not the norm, but the exception, and she bought some lightweight edibles which she is now using to salubrious effect. But the people at the first place would have been more useful had they been drunk.
John
When I was basically a child – age 21, almost 25 years ago – I used to work graveyard at 7-11. I’d routinely bring a pint of cheap vodka and slam vodka slurpee all night. Stupid, but I never said I wasn’t stupid.
We are fortunate there were no cameras or internet back in the day.
Yeah, it would have been a shame for Matthew Brady to catch you on a daguerreotype taking a nip.
jtb
LOL
I should have said video cameras, cell phones, etc.
Back in the 80s a friend of mine and I would have a daily routine – at 12:00 jump in my car and speed like crazy into the nearby town. One of us would bolt into the liquor store and get a six pack and the other would go next door and get 4 slices of pizza. We’d hightail it back to work, chow down on the pizza and 4 of the beers, then at 2:00 break we’d kill the other two beers. Not enough to get shit-faced but enough to make the day a little less unbearable. Don’t even drink at home now during the week…..responsibility sucks.
I’ve never been drunk at work. Trade shows and company parties don’t count.
At my old job, the warehouse guy was hammered fairly often. I don’t know if he was drinking at work, or if he front-loaded, or if he had some rare medical condition that made him act drunk.
I know what you’re talking about brother. Until 22 years ago, I suffered from a medical condition technically known as jimbeamitis. I treated it daily, but it kept coming back. I finally concluded that the treatment was the disorder, but it took 46 years to figure that out. Yeah, I’m a little slow on the uptake. What of it?
best,
John
Jimbeamitis is a particularly nasty form of that ailment. I think that might be what Warehouse Guy had. I’m glad you made it.
Lots of drinking at work both past and present. Law firm 1983 1990. My friend sue and I had to do the monthly billing which was an over nighter with plenty of OT. We’d start off with beer and champagne and the occasional line if available. 1990 to 1997.Ad agency. Holy shit. Drinks at lunch which morphed into happy hour. 1997- 2016. Nothing. Worked for Big Blue. You could get fired if you cashed your check at a bar. The occasional party might get you a glass of wine. Now? Margaritas when the partners are AWOL. Bailey’s in the afternoon coffee break. Any time we can drink we do. The place is a certifiable shit hole so drinking is almost mandatory.
FYI — The podcast is now live at Stitcher and TuneIn! Still nothing from our Apple overlords. Hopefully tomorrow.
For my last two years of high school I worked from 1600-2400 as a janitor during the summer at a local factory. We would bust ass the first 4 hours getting most of the work done then on the lunch break I was sent to the local drive-thru for a case of cheap beer. The three permanent janitors, the security guard and I would then go to a conference room and eat lunch and kill the beer. Every single day of the week except every other Friday when we would go to a bar in town where we cashed our checks, ate a cheeseburger and drank for 45 minutes.
The rest of the night I would tool around the buildings in a forklift listening to music or hang out in one of the VPs offices talking to my girlfriend on a speaker phone.
I used to work at a rural corporate campus that had it’s own pub (and another, better, pub in the village just outside the grounds). Subsidized beer and pub food. A long time ago someone rightly noticed that a walk and a couple of pints and a pie can be a much more effective way for a team to resolve an intractable problem rather than sitting in a windowless conference room. I don’t remember anyone being drunk at work though.
A friend is a proper card carrying alcoholic (dry for ~30 years now), and he used to work as a motorcycle courier, back when businesses couriered paperwork between themselves, doing this drunk and drinking all day. I have no idea how he didn’t die.
I was a graveyard manager at a Wag`s restaurant, owned by Walgreens. Take out a few letters and it’s Wag`s. Routinely hit the tap all night in a malt milkshake cup. Got stabbed there trying to stop a walkout. Stopped a fight of 15 people who knocked the cash register to the floor with my booming voice alone. Made copies of me and a waitresses genitals on the copy machine. My favorite job ever.
Most chefs have an alcohol problem, I am no exception. Currently, I wake at 4 AM and take my drink of choice to work. I finish before anyone gets there and eat to cover the smell. Sometimes they still smell it.