How goes it, my friends? I took today off from work, and am operating at a decidedly casual pace. I just polished off a Moe’s burrito. I hadn’t been inside that place in years, possibly five or more. I’m not a huge fan. I believe Chipotle is roughly a million times better. But, on a whim, I decided to return. It was alright, not great. I noticed they don’t have the ridiculous names for their offerings anymore. Like “Joey Bag o’ Donuts” and stuff like that. That’s better. And it’s all remodeled and semi-fancy in there. It’s been a long time. But the food tasted exactly like I remember it. Like I said… alright, not great.
Also, the rosy-cheek nerd who was taking my order was trying to rush me through my choices, which I didn’t appreciate. Every time I asked for another component he’d bark — before I’d even finished speaking — “Anything else?!” There was nobody behind me, no need for the extra pressure. I wanted to tell him to calm his tits and not get his Rosacea in an uproar, but was able to maintain somehow. It might be a few years before I go back. We’ll see.
Today I wanted to get your feedback on profanity. I have a few questions on the subject I jotted down in the ol’ notebook. What say we start powering through them?
How much cursing was there in your house while you were growing up?
My folks would let some words fly, on a semi-regular basis. But only the lower-caliber ones like shit and damn and hell, and things like that. I’ve NEVER heard either of them use the f-word, not once in my entire life. It might’ve happened when we were not around, but never in front of me or my brother. My grandmother, who lived directly across the street from us, never used any profanity whatsoever. She might be the only person I’ve spent a considerable amount of time with that I could say that about. Her husband, my grandfather, made up for it, though. He was cussing for two. Heh.
At what age did your parents first hear you say a swear word?
I was probably seven or eight and my dad overheard me and my friend Doug repeatedly use the word shit. Inexplicably, there was some spelling of it too. I remember him bringing it up, and kinda laughing about us hollering S-H-I-T! S-H-I-T! He was both amused and confused, but also wanted me to know he’d heard it and we should probably tread lightly. I was embarrassed, so it worked. I still don’t curse (much) around my parents. It’s a respect thing.
How do you feel about cussing in front of kids?
I take the same approach as my folks did. However, my kids have definitely heard me drop a few f-bombs. Not many, it’s not a word I use all the time. But it’s definitely part of the repertoire, especially as the boys got older. We’ve never been the types to fill every sentence with swear words, but the potential for an outburst is always there. Sometimes I hear people spewing the crassest, trashiest language in front of young children and don’t care for it. I know they’re only words, and all that. But at some point it causes me to furrow my brow in a judgmental manner.
Who are the most prolific swearers you’ve met?
It’s mostly co-workers for me. I’ve known people through the years who seemingly can’t communicate without the word fuck. It’s in every sentence, and used as a verb, adverb, noun, adjective, modifier, etc. If some of those guys (almost always guys) were forced to stop using the word, it would be like asking you or me to stop using the letter e. I’ve worked in and around warehouses for many years, and also in the music industry. I know profanity, and sometimes it takes over a person’s life. Like kudzu on an outbuilding.
What are your favorite swear-word substitutes you’ve heard?
These usually come from women, I notice. Here are a few that jump immediately to mind:
- flippin’
- frickin’
- I don’t give a kitty
- cheese and rice
- cheese and crackers
- son of a B
- oh, sugar
- fiddle sticks
- bull butter
- quit fiddle-farting around
What do you have on this subject? Please feel free to answer any or all of the questions. Use the comments section.
I also remember, when I was young, being over at a kid’s house (a blue ribbon weirdo, btw) who told his sister to stop “bugging” him. And his mother flew off the handle and told him she doesn’t tolerate profanity in her house. I was totally confused, and still am. He said, “stop bugging me.” Nothing else. Profanity?? What the? And I had a boss who didn’t like when I described somebody as “cocky.” She said the root word is “cock,” which is something I’d never considered. Not once in my entire life. To this day I kinda self-edit when the word “cocky” jumps into my mind. And my grandmother on my dad’s side HATED the word “fart.” She had a giant problem with it. So we had to say things like “let one fly.” Hilarious.
Please let me know your thoughts, and have a great weekend.
I’ll see you guys again soon.
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“How much cursing was there in your house while you were growing up?”
As the kids say, “A metric shit ton.” I lived with a WWII vet (my Grandfather). He spent his time on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific and had at least a Bachelors degree in cursing.
“At what age did your parents first hear you say a swear word?”
I was probably 4 years old. I said “fuck” which I had heard from my aforementioned Grandfather. Somehow didn’t get my ass kicked over the whole thing.
“How do you feel about cussing in front of kids?”
I try not to, but it happens.
“Who are the most prolific swearers you’ve met?”
Again, my Grandfather. He was a pro.
Swear word substitutes? The most G rated that it got was “Jesus H Christmas.” Where that came from, I have no clue.
My mother-in-law will still wash our mouths out with soap if we use the f-word. Yet she’ll watch a war scene or sex scene on Band of Brothers (a fuck per second), while toddlers are standing in front of her TV. She doesn’t give it two thoughts.
As I have gotten older I cuss less. At work is not allowed at all. I don’t much care for Chipotle. But I tell you the one here in downtown Morgantown must make a ton of money. I see college kids walking out of there with bags of food no matter what time of day it is.
My parents were highly religious and never uttered a curse word except for maybe 2 or 3 times in my hearing. Those were frightening times, lemme tell ya.
I, on the hand, have embraced profanity with avidity. For 20 years, I worked as one of the only women on several car magazines, so cussing was encouraged. Now, at my new job I don’t do it at all. I have a very strong filter, but I don’t love it. What I do love is cussing.
I try not to cuss in front of kids, but I’ve made my mistakes. Fortunately, only one of my close friends has children and she’s very tolerant.
My own personal go-to profanity sub is Jeez Louise. It flows from my lips as easily as WTF does, and it’s saved me in mixed company many a time.
My parents were the “hell, damn, ass” cursers with an occasional “shit” thrown in. No f-words from them.
I got my mouth washed out with shaving cream, green soap, whatever was within mom’s reach.
My favorite cussmaster was a neighbor who I used to work for. Nice quiet guy when he was hanging around. One day he was working on something that was giving him fits. After 47 years, I still hear “son of a bitch fucking cocksucker bastard.”
House growing up?
Almost none. Both parents were teachers, so they really tried with us. But mom would lose her shit every now and then and let a few go. Now that I’m married to an adult woman myself, I notice a pattern to the losing of shit, and I bet my mom’s moments had something to do with the menstrual cycle. Man, I’m glad I’m not a woman. That must be so weird.
Cussing in front of kids?
We keep it fairly light, but they’re 11 and 13, so I’m thinking it won’t be all that long before we just start talking the way people talk. Cursing in front of kids 4-8 is just stupid. They can’t understand “place and time,” and you’re just irresponsible if you talk that way in front of them but expect them not to talk that way too.
Most prolific?
I painted water towers for a couple of summers, and the owner was a serious pro. Not gratuitous cursing, though – he was like Carlin with his creativity. My favorite was “chucklefuck” – a really dumb person. And in the world of water tower painters, there’s a bunch of chucklefucks, as you can imagine.
Cursing may be lazy language, but the people that I’ve known that don’t curse at all sure aren’t (almost ever) the kind of people I want to have a beer with.
I try not to curse around others if it might offend them. My favorite curser added the f word to just about anything he could such as wow f@#$%&%g wee fan f@#$&%gtastic and so on.
There was NO!!! cussin’ in my parents’ house. Even now that my sister and I are grown, we still self-edit whenever my parents are around to hear us.
I was probably 5 or 6 when I was first exposed to profanity from the bunch of hooligans I hung around with in the neighborhood. When there was no adults around, we unloaded big time, like we would explode if we didn’t cuss every third word.
The first time I used a “big word” was completely inadvertently while in pre-school. That day’s lesson was on rhyming words and my friend and I decided to start rhyming “Ducky”. You can guess where that ended up. Our parents were trying real hard to not respond, but we knew we did something, even if we weren’t really sure what.
My favorite substitute is “poodle doo” for shit.
When we really screw something up royally, my wife and I like “Oh, fuck a duck!” But only if my parents aren’t around….
Parents never swore and they didn’t tolerate bad language.
I don’t swear around women or children.
Once I had a boss that cussed like a drunken sailor.
My friend’s grandma would say “Flowers”.
At our house, it never went farther than Mom saying “damn it” occasionally. Without the “God” prefix.” One time when I was 11 or 12, I whispered “shit” under my breath. She heard that, and gave me the one mouth-soaping of my life.
I don’t have kids of my own, but I keep my language clean in front of other people’s kids. It seems like basic consideration.
Growing up, it seemed to me that the foulest mouths belonged to the Catholic kids. They generally didn’t use expressions with God references, but the Carlin Seven flowed freely.
Funny about the substitute swear words. I think this falls into the category of minced oaths, things like “darn it” and “gosh.” I know a woman – who is Catholic – who used to say “Jesus Fucking Christ.” Somewhere along the line she got religion, and now says Jeez Louise.
Ex-Catholic woman here. My parents never uttered a foul word, so my sisters and I felt obligated to pick up the slack. There are still times when the words pouring out of my mouth will set my grandmas to spinning in their graves (Jesus Fucking Christ is a favorite), but not nearly as often as when I was younger. In fact, I’ve really cleaned up my act. Jeez Louise is useful, and rats is a satisfactory replacement.
I’ve always viewed cussing as just words, but do try to exhibit consideration around those who might take offense at such words. Excepting my husband of course, because it always amuses me how upset he gets when I tell him to fuck off. But that’s rare as we don’t argue too often, which may explain how we’ve managed to endure 48 years together.
Somewhere along the line I picked up Son of a motherless goat to replace son of a B, I have no idea why or how but I use it regularly.
probably from a Steve Martin line the movie “The Three Amigos”.
good stuff
My husband says “mother jumper” instead of “mother effer.” It has a fun ring to it.
I use “motorscooter” because once saw a censored Samuel L. Jackson film on a plane (not Snakes On A Plane) that used that and I thought it was excellent.
This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
(From the bowdlerized version of The Big Lebowski)
madz, I’m sorry your husband says mother jumper. It sounds more offensive than motherfucker without carrying the emotional impact a good run of cursing should. You hear it and you wonder: Is he jumping over the mother or on the mother, or is he watching a mother jump on or over something? The only time I’d use that term is at 10.000 feet just before the jumpmaster slaps me on the shoulder. As in, “See y’all on the deck, motherjumpers”. Followed by the name of any American Indian leader who rode in an automobile. But that’s just me.
jtb
jtb,
We pronounce it “mutha jumpa” and “mutha fucka”.
We think it makes a difference.
*No mothers were hurt in the writing of this post.
Sugar Honey Ice Tea
Oh there was lots of cussing in my family but the f bomb didn’t entering way later. My dad never said it but my mom dropped it and flipped the bird when I hit my 20s. Hey I’m one of 6 kids so it was inevitable.
My dad was stuck in traffic once crossing the Whitestone bridge into long island dropping off my niece (his grandchild). He finally reaches the toll booth and asks for a return token and was told there are no tokens. He slams his hand on the steering wheel and yells “oh s hit!” -only to be taken to task by the toll booth clerk. ” don’t you dare use that language in front of that child!” My dad laughed over that for weeks.
The f-bomb never falls far from the tree.
I remember a relative from New Jersey using “shit” in three different meanings within a single sentence once. I can’t remember the sentence exactly but I remember it happening because my ~5 year old sponge of a daughter was sat there soaking it all in. The same household has goddamn salt, which used in a sentence would be “Jesus Christ where’s the goddamn salt, shit.”
Fuck the fucking fuckers.
Ah, you know them.
And I apologize sincerely for not mentioning the Reference Standard earlier: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVIB9JnGfiM
That’s pretty much my NJ family if it’s 5PM and there’s no ice for “cocktails”.
Here’s an excellent podcast episode on swear word etymology. One of the hosts used to work for the OED. The other host is a twat.
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vc29tZXRoaW5ncmh5bWVzd2l0aHB1cnBsZQ/episode/YmRjNzcyMTgtYzcwMy00MGM5LTgyZDQtODE5Zjc1ZmEzMDdl?sa=X&ved=0CAQQkfYCahcKEwjI49HN24rwAhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAQ
“How much cursing was there in your house while you were growing up?”
My father was WWII vet, so he had a very “colorful” vocabulary. Only dropped the f-bomb when he was really pissed. My mom, rarely if ever, used a curse word.
“At what age did your parents first hear you say a swear word?”
I don’t think My father ever did. Even though he could use them in every sentence, we children had to toe the line. He passed 40 years ago. I was probably 20 or 21 when my mother heard me. I was in the USAF and she still read me the riot act.
“How do you feel about cussing in front of kids?”
Never did it in front of my children or my grandchildren.
“Who are the most prolific swearers you’ve met?”
My dad and my oldest brother.
I once worked with a girl who hated cursing and called out anyone who did it. But she always said “Fudge!!” when she was mad, and I tried to convince her it was “her” curse word. The words themselves don’t mean anything, but the spirit in which you say them does. So a loud “Fudge” is just as much of a curse as fuck. I picked up cussing from my husband, and around home I let them fly. But I do try to maintain my language when I am in public and with friends and family. I am not always successful!
Moe’s gave me food poisoning, so I will never go back. I do like Chipotle, though I don’t go often.
Sorry to bust in. I’ve worked for the OED most of the days of my adult life – I mean, advocating its use. Last time I checked it was the last prescriptive English dictionary. No, I don’t use infer and imply interchangeably; no, I won’t say “Every person should do their duty.” The latter gets me in trouble with the progressive crowd: the whole How many genders are there? I don’t care. I want everybody to be happy, but everybody can’t be happy if your sexual preferences and predilections require me to use a plural pronoun with a singular subject. Just tell me what you want to be called, and I’ll lengthen my sentences: Every person should do his/her/its/hes/hir duty. Hey, I made it through my rant without cursing. Fuckin-A.
Thanks gentlemen; carry on.
John
Goddammit, that comment was supposed to go after Mr. Limey’s. Then I got a fucking error message. Then the cocksucker tried to delete my shitass comment. Then the assholes who run the Internet decided I didn’t have a valid motherfucking address. I was just trying to say that there’s too much swearing out here. Fuck. OK, as you was.
John
This gave me a good fucking laugh!
John, see if you can find a TV series called Balderdash & Piffle, which is about the public helping to update the OED. You might like it.
Thanks, Limey. Wonderful. Whilst the Beeb was making Fawlty Towers and I, Claudius, American networks were busy crafting My Mother the Car and The Dukes of Hazzard. The Yanks have finally figured out that television can be culturally transforming, but it took 60 years of twaddle to get to The Sopranos and The Wire. I know the BBC networks were stuffy and slow, but somebody there had the audacity to put MPFC on the air in 1969. It was a nice counterpoint to the Nixon Administration (the US version of MPFC).
Thanks, jtb
Well there’s plenty of dross on UK TV, you just don’t see it. Nothing wrong with The Dukes of Hazzard!
I forget which, but one of the US networks bought the rights to remake Fawlty Towers, but they wanted it rewritten to remove the “unsympathetic” Basil Fawlty character.
While I’m recommending UK TV programs have a look at Ghosts, a recent sitcom with a clever premise. That one’s currently getting remade by CBS. Also, Derry Girls, which is set in Londonderry in the 1990s and is the funniest thing I’ve seen for a few years. The Ulster accents might be heavy going.
Thanks Limey, I’ll check out Derry Girls and Ghosts.
Just to be clear, I didn’t mean to say there wasn’t crap on UK public or private TV networks. I was just pointing out that the British state-owned networks at their best reached heights that the private networks in North America took a half-century to get close to. There’s a reason that art doesn’t sell well in its first century; same reason that The Starry Night and Irises sold for a song first time around. It takes balls to get out ahead of the pack, and most commercial enterprises operate ball-lessly. That happens to be one useful thing about governments: They’ll do crazy shit like invent bombs that skip across water like a stone. The stuff usually doesn’t work, but once in a while entire cities get wet and dark. Or we land on the Moon.
jtb
Loved Derry Girls! Might have to watch it again.
The third series is on hold until the pandemic is over 🙁
Is nobody going to talk about how the human brain processes language? It’s not gonna be me, but failing to distinguish between the cursing that emanates from the language center and the cursing that comes from way down in the limbic system makes this a discussion about fast food.
(By the way, McDonalds is NOT in the food business: they’re in the real estate business. They don’t say that, but their annual report does.)
So, from a slow food perspective, limbic cursing is not about cultural norms or cognitive expression. It’s about emotional expression. It predated language by millions of years.
I tried to make a big point with a few words and made a dog’s breakfast of it. So it goes. Shit.
John
Re: D.C.
Great place to visit, I love spending time there. I’d happily live in the center (not the outer parts!) – it’s so walkable, so many things to see, interestingly laid out. Great restaurants too. If you’re remotely interested in aircraft (and space) the Air & Space Museum annex by Dulles airport is superb, I audibly exclaimed “holy shit a Komet” first time I went there!
I’ve lived in and near DC for a few decades now, and I second the motion on the Air and Space Museum. Lots of other cool stuff, especially if there isn’t a pandemic in progress. I would recommend avoiding July, August, (early) September. It’s wretchedly hot and humid that time of year. Ain’t a fit night out for man nor beast, as we say.
Free Friday Email:
There’s something wrong with the Dukes of Hazzard.
There’s nothing wrong with The Hazzards. Note the distinction . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsANpXXHid8
jtb