When I moved to Greensboro, NC, at the age of 22 or 23 (there’s some debate) I was driving a yellow Chevy Luv truck, very similar to the one in this ad. It remains one of my all-time favorite vehicles.
Yes, I loved the Luv, However… the transmission went out in it way too soon. It was a long time ago, and I can’t remember specific details. But the truck didn’t have many miles on it, when it completely and utterly shit the bed. I was furious, as well as panicked. My weekly take-home pay at that point was probably in the neighborhood of $200. So, what now?
Ha! Needless to say, I called my parents and they bailed me out. But I was placed on an informal repayment plan, which I couldn’t afford. The whole thing infuriated me, because the truck was relatively new. I had plenty of questionable things going on in my life at that point, but transportation wasn’t one of them. This was NOT something I should’ve been dealing with. In my 22 (or 23) year old opinion, anyway.
So, I got all whipped up with righteous indignation, and started making phone calls. I remember talking to various people at General Motors (hilarious), and trying to be menacing and intimidating. I probably sounded like an eighth grader, making threats and using big words I didn’t fully understand.
But I sincerely believed I’d been wronged, and was getting no satisfaction. All those GM people were trained to say “fuck off” in the nicest way possible. And that just wound me up, tighter and tighter. Eventually, I took it too far. I filed a formal complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I didn’t know what that meant, or what would happen, but liked the sound of it. Unfortunately, it led to nothing but tears and humiliation.
I’d set a series of events into motion, that culminated with me attending a “hearing” inside some mysterious office building in Greensboro. I was, at the time, an even bigger dumbass than I am today. As Phil Hendrie would say, I couldn’t find it with both hands. But I walked in there confident and certain I had The Truth on my side.
The hearing was held inside a large conference room, and there were roughly ten people surrounding the big table. Including a few not-at-all-amused representatives from General Motors. Gulp. They were all wearing business suits, and carrying expensive-looking leather binders. I was probably wearing a Fetchin’ Bones t-shirt, or possibly Scruffy the Cat. And I was carrying nothing but the expression of a person who suddenly realizes they’re in way over their head.
Indeed, it didn’t go well. The mediator was not impressed by the fact I had no maintenance records, or that I’d purchased the vehicle used from an individual I had no information about. My only defense: the transmission shouldn’t have gone out, after so few miles. I just kept saying that, over and over. But I couldn’t prove that I hadn’t abused the truck, or that the previous owner hadn’t pulled it out of the ocean, or somesuch. The people at that table had arrived expecting an interesting conversation, but GM’s people just steamrolled right over me. It was over before it started. I walked out of there holding a metaphorical bloody rag to my ass.
The only real punch I landed was when they asked me where I purchased the truck. After I told them Charleston, West Virginia, some twerpy little shit began rifling through a reference book of some sort, and announced that Charleston is so many feet above sea level, and is situated in hilly terrain, blah blah blah, which could put strain on a car’s transmission. I said, “So, what you’re saying is, nobody who lives in West Virginia should buy a car from General Motors, because they can’t handle it?” That was my one brief moment of glory. But, they had plenty of those moments, and I only had one. It was a rough hour, my friends. Exceedingly rough.
Have you ever gotten yourself all fired up about something, and ended up biting off more than you can chew? Or, just found yourself in way over your head, for some other reason? Please tell us your stories in the comments section. And I’m going to work now: a big super-sized eleven-hour day. My nipples are exploding with delight.
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
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Lee Harvey Ramone says
There is an old guy in my hood who still has one of those trucks. He had it completely rebuilt several years ago. Also – I work with a guy whose brother was in the band Scruffy the Cat.
The Pontificator says
These days all these new pickups are $60,000 behemoths. Sadly, no one makes little runabout utility trucks anymore.
They have too much practice shooting down the little guy trying to make a claim.
I lose my patience way to fast, so usually end up telling somebody the fact don’t lie and to go eat shit.
I’m fixin’ to get ready to think about calling my ISP to get them to credit my account. Last month my service was out for two weeks – two weeks! Yes, I have no SLA, but jeez.
I’ve run my mouth a few too many times. I’m rarely right.
The Mole says
Loved this post. I still miss Further Evidence and the Bunker Cam though. Just put the links up top with Home, About, Best Of, etc. Please.
I’m being prepared for a deposition by my former employer on Tuesday. Someone is suing them and they asked for me to be deposed. How’s THAT for being in over my head?
I can’t imagine how my ex employer feels about the idea of me being a witness that could be used against them. It’s a stupid lawsuit but big money at stakes (not for me) so there are all these attorneys flying to me on Tuesday and I’ll be sleep deprived off a red eye flight.
Let me practice. Ask me if I know what time it is?
Even though Chicago is one of the original uncool bands, I assume you know how to answer that one.
Does anybody really know what time it is?
Mr. Nalts, do you know what time it is?
Root 66 says
Speak with an accent like you’re Thurston Howell, III. That should impress them. 🙂
Alice in WV says
Your first mistake was buying a GM product.
Before I get to the rest, I just returned from a month long assignment at the Pentagon. I did a bunch of stuff, but most importantly I saw one of the dumbest fucking things. I saw the purple water fountain. It’s a monument to government efficiency and Air Force competence.
On a different Pentagon note, have you ever seen “Bruce Almighty”?
There’s a part where Bruce meets God. God is just some lonely dude mopping a floor in a giant warehouse.
I think I saw an incarnation of God.
My first day in the building I was trying to find where I was supposed to be and got lost.
I was on the right level, but a couple of polygon segments away from where I was supposed to be.
While lost I crossed the path of a guy being pretty much ignored by everyone moving around him.
He was swooshing a dust mop back and forth. Moving very slowly.
About 9 hours later, when I was leaving work, He finally made it to the corridor/line-segment I work in.
Still just swooshing the dust mop around.
I like to think that this guy gets paid either $25,000 a year or $300,000 (nothing in between).
I also like to think that his entire job is to live at the Pentagon and do nothing by sweep that one level of that one ring all day every day.
I also had a truck transmission based experience with the BBB. The BBB is naught but bullshit. I brought my truck in to a place to get the transmission fixed. They quoted me a cost and a duration of work. Two weeks after the deadline and at twice the cost of estimate I demanded that the shop put my truck back together and give it back. They said they couldn’t. I threatened to sue them to give my truck back and it was put together in two days and returned to me, still not fixed. It was all due to incompetence on the part of all the shop. I reported this to BBB. The case took over six months to resolve, and as long as the shop responded to the inquiries, with any response then the business would stay in a good graces with the BBB. I had date logs, receipts, phone messages, etc to prove that they were incompetent. I would submit the evidence to BBB and BBB would submit to the business for response. Their responses were along the line of, “We didn’t say that.” or “Customer isn’t a mechanic.” In the end, after all my data was exhausted, nothing happened because the business responded to each issue.
I get fired up about all sorts of shit. But none of it is ever too big for me to chew because none of it is ever actually a big deal. I’m just a big indignant baby. Sonic put mayonnaise on my sandwich again yesterday. I was flipping out and thinking about going into the hut again, but my wife was with me this time. She just took my top bun and replaced it with her bottom bun. No more mayonnaise (but I had a whole new problem with the fact that I got screwed out of the good bun nobody wants two bottom buns. If anything you want two top buns). Other times I just make a claim so profound that the people dealing with me don’t know how to react. It usually has to do with money.
For instance, several years ago when we were living in a rented house, the property manager was being a dick about fixing the furnace because it would also require fixing some duct work and it would get too expensive. He even gave me the legal requirements for heating and AC that I could use if I wanted to bring suit against the company; you see, he was ready for that sort of thing. Instead I just threatened to by the house and burn it down, that way he wouldn’t earn a damn dollar much less having a few months of rent go towards fixing the utilities. He looked at me for a minute trying to measure me up, then I saw him realize that I didn’t really care about the argument and was just going to be a pest until it got fixed. The thing was fixed in a week or so.
Chuck in Belpre says
You know we don’t get paid by the word here.
A friend in high school had an old yellow Luv. (was that the only color?)
The bed floor was rusted to the point that it was only connected to the body at one small point. When we would cruise around on the Louisiana back roads it would flap up and down with the bumps and hills in the road.
One day he came to school and the truck bed didn’t have a floor anymore. He said it flew off on the street on his way home from school the day before. From that point on it was just a big foor sized hole in the bed.
Yeah, I filed for divorce. I know all about getting run over.
Merle Haggard 1937 – 2016
The Qweezy Mark says
Jeff, I’ve found the key to your life becoming instantaneously more satisfying………………..Priced to move!
The flowers that bloom in the spring,
Have nothing to do with the case.
I’ve got to take under my wing,
A most unattractive old thing,
With a caricature of a face,
With a caricature of a face.
“Body is mostly straight.”
You could say the same about David Bowie, but I wouldn’t have wanted to corner fast with him either.
LOL, genuinely. Thanks 🙂
The Pontificator says
I’ll be damned…
When I was stationed in San Diego in ’82 I bought a used ’78 YELLOW Chevy Luv (long bed) from some sleazy used car lot. It only crapped out twice (an alternator and later a water hose) but it kept plodding along. I finally traded it in for a Civic where it likely crapped the bed on someone else.
If I’m not mistaken the Luv was made by Isuzu.
I learned that when you have a pickup truck everyone’s your buddy. “Hey, can you help me move my stuff?”