This is it, boys and girls. I’m officially on vacation from my job until October 9, and following this brief update I’m going underground. I hope to complete at least one chapter per day of my new book, between tomorrow and next Sunday. Wish me luck.
As is the tradition, there will be an interesting lineup of guest writers while I’m away. Some old favorites, and a few new folks… I think you’re going to enjoy it. I’ll post the first one tomorrow, and hopefully have a new guest post each day next week. It’s going to be fun, so please be sure to check in daily.
I mailed a bunch of stuff yesterday (seventeen packages), and will clean up everything that remains tomorrow morning. So, if I owe you something I apologize for my tardiness, and also want you to know that the end is near. By tomorrow at 10 a.m. everything will be in the able hands of a government employee. Thanks for not marching on Scranton, and lynching my riffled ass.
I got a lot of sleep last night, and my mind is bubbling over with ideas today. I’ve come up with four or five really good ones, which gives me hope. One, in particular, could be a fun ongoing feature at the site. I think you guys will dig it. After I re-emerge from my hole in the ground, I’ll start working on it. Stay tuned.
It’s amazing how much difference a good night’s sleep makes… Maybe I should try to see that it happens more than one day per month?
Last night at work they had a “fall festival,” with all sorts of games and cider and raffles. They also served dinner, and the main dish was a GIGANTIC roasted turkey leg. It was one of the more bizarre things I’ve seen. I mean, it was enormous; I felt like Henry VIII eating that ridiculous thing. Or Elizabeth Taylor. Man, I’d hate to come face to face with one of those big-ass Chernobyl turkeys in a dark alley.
They also had a so-called texture boof, where you stuck your hands through a curtain, felt five items, and tried to guess what they were. I’m fairly certain I correctly identified four out of five, but the final one felt like a bowl of chick peas and water. So, that’s what I wrote down… Heh. Somehow I doubt it was the correct answer.
And the rest of the night my hands smelled funny. I washed them multiple times, but couldn’t get rid of the curious funk. And I still can’t figure out what that bowl of chick peas might have been. Stupid texture boof…
I’ll leave you now with a couple of Questions I’ve had scribbled in my notebook for a while. Neither has seemed appropriate lately, so I’ll just dump both of them on you now.
First, what’s your favorite regional brand? You know, stuff you can buy in a grocery store, but only in a certain part of the country? I guess it doesn’t have to be a grocery store item… but you get the general idea. If you have any favorite regional brands, please tell us about it.
Also, what’s the scariest state in America, in your opinion? It doesn’t matter if you’ve actually visited it… If you consider a state or states to be kinda scary, we’d like to know about it. And I’ll be the first to say it: freakin’ Florida. Now it’s your turn.
I’ll be back on October 10, but will be publishing a bunch of great guest posts between now and then.
See you on the other side!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon.
Don’t worry sir, we’re from the government, and we’re here to help.
West Virginia seems scary.
What with all the surprise sodomy and what have you..
Favorite Regional Brands:
Middlesworth – BBQ chips
Tastycakes!
and try finding Manhattan clam chowder outside of PA/NY/NJ and maybe CT.
TastyKakes, good god.
omg my husband loves middleswarth bbq chips, when i first tried them i was like eww gross than idk they kinda grew on me..
cashoe is right on the mark with the first two!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
I’m thinking there’s a tie between Texas and Florida for “scariest” state. Just from reading the news, fucked up people doing fucked up things seem to happen with great frequency there.
So, I guess that makes it Mississippi then?
Scariest state, hands down, is Ohio.
When you hear some horrific story about mass murderers, incredibly mistreated kids, severely battered women, or just plain serious WTF-ness then I’m willing to bet that 9 of 10 times it is out of Ohio, or the protagonist was from Ohio.
I second that.
As an Ohio resident, nothing surprises me anymore in this state. Weird ass people here.
And the neighbors are always like “OH, he seemed like such a normal man!” and he’s got 13 headless hookers in his backyard…
13 Headless Hookers would be a good name for any punk band’s first album.
jtb
….or punk-rock opera
Scariest State Louisiana
Regional food has to be Lebanon bologna and Real South Philly soft pretzels (Federal Baking preferred)
I was at the NASCAR races this past weekend, and on Saturday the guy sitting next to us showed up with one of those $8 smoked turkey legs. It was huge, and reminded me of the meat on a stick that Homer Simpson ate on his visit to New York City. A half hour later the dude was sleeping like a baby. Not sure if it was the tryptophan or the beer.
I saw a family of four at the races in Bristol eating one of those Dino turkey legs. The dad would take a couple bites, then reach the thing over to his son, who would gnaw a hunk off, then dad would continue eating. Grossed me the hell out and I was drunk off my ass, so it really had to be gross.
Dad and son swappin’ spit on a turkey leg, huh? Yea, that’s gross.
I have to go with Kentucky. The craziest fucks I’ve ever know all hail from Kentucky. Anybody else notice a link between craziness and Kentucky.
Local stuff, I don’t know anymore. Ever since I moved to Alabama I’ve shied away from regional things. REAL Alabama food is downright disgusting. They even managed to find a way to fuck up BBQ (stringy pork soaked in vinegar).
Bite your tongue! We have great food here! Okay, deep South barbecue is different than other places, so that really is a matter of taste, but other stuff is really good. Come over and I’ll make you purple hull peas, fried green tomatoes, and cornbread with sweet tea and you’ll be hooked for life.
I second the Kentucky. I have lived here for 19 years and it is the craziest place I have ever seen.
Kansas – those fuckers are UPtight. My SR Jason has a point about Kaintucky too.
Aus-Tex chili down by Austin.
Used to Jones for Skyline chili but you can get that a lot of places east of (and along) the Mississippi.
And I’m sorry, but Harris Teeter has the best cottage cheese in the whole country.
Regional Brand = Utz
Scariest state = tie between Florida and Mississippi
utz is my favorite too!
Mrs. Griffin’s Barbecue Sauce. I’ve always been nervous of venturing into Alabama.
Eh, we’re pretty benign. Maybe not as “sophisticated” as Georgia, but definitely not nearly as scary as Mississippi and Louisiana.
Pork Tenderloin sandwiches as served in Indiana and Illinois cannot be found anyplace else. My sister has freinds in the pacific northwest FedEx her a certain brand of seasoning salt, (Johnny’s, I think) because its not available in Michigan and she fell in love with it when she worked in Oregon. Tastes like Lawrey’s to me…
I can’t think of any states that are scary in their entirety, but I have been to parts of Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky, and even my native Michigan in which I felt distinctly uncomfortable when stopping for fuel or a meal, or even just driving through–I’m talking about people staring from behind drawn blinds, customers openly gaping at me in restaurants, hostile clerks at gas stations, strange people thrusting religious pamphlets at me…
I grew up in west central IL. I miss a good tenderloin. The fried porky goodness has to be at least twice the size of the bun too. I only live 4 hours from there, but there are no tenderloins in St. Louis that I’ve seen.
Hey Jera!
I was born in Quincy, and now live in Saint Louis. You are right…not a friggin good tenderloin to be found.
Small world: I went to college in Quincy.
Ever eat the one at the Mattoon airport? I think they call it an elephant ear. It’s famous in general aviation circles.
Went to WIU, taught at Brownstown, between Effingham and Vandalia.
Got my first DUI in Altamont.
Learned to fly at Vandalia airport in Cessna 50789, a little 150.
Heh…I learned in a Piper Cherokee at PKB. Finised up at the Keesler AFB flying club in a 150 with an instructor who went 300+ pounds. I was almost sitting on the port side wing, reaching in through the window to steer the plane!
My first solo was a nightmare. 15 minutes into my first lesson, I told my instructor, “Hey this is easy. Give me a 727 to fly.” Oh yeah, 20 some years old, we were “all of that.”
Anyway, after 12 or so hours, I pull up in the plane at Rambart Aviation at PKB. My instructor sais, “keep it running.” Then he got out and told me to take it around the pattern for a while.
All of a sudden I went from a budding Charles Lindbergh, to the most frightened baby in the world. But I did take it up. However, On my first appoach, someone in a Maule taildragger ground looped it onoff the side of the runway on landing. I was left circling in limbo for almost an hour, going round and round, and being mesmerized by the lights of the fire trucks on the scene.
In the words of my best friend, “Hey, you’re gonna come down eventually. Either you land safely, or you crash.”
Me and my best friend would go over there when we were kids and try to chat up the pilots for free rides.
Cherokee here, too. N5733U from GBR (Great Barrington, Mass.)
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And I just looked up PKB… man, that’s a big airport! Probably has commercial service ‘neverything, what with the 6700′ runway and all. We had one 2700’ runway, fuel pumps, bathrooms and vending machines.
.
We have commercial service, a 19-seater which goes to Cleveland and back. We’ve had 737’s (military) from the D.C. area recently here, doing touch-and-goes. I guess pilots can do more touch-and-goes per hour here, than in the D.C. area, because they don’t have to circle so much between landings, so training turns out to be a lot cheaper. The pres. (POTUS) has landed at PKB, too.
Yup, Florida and Texas.
jtb
Scariest state-I would have said West Virginia until our vacation this summer. We drove out I-20 E from Atlanta. It got lonelier and lonelier and more and more cracks and potholes appeared on the road until suddenly we crossed the Savannah River and I-20 was suddenly “Strom Thurmond Hwy” and the first five signs we saw were warnings about the local shooting ranges. And that was before we took my shortcut to avoid going through Columbia. Now I’ll go with South Carolina. We did have a very nice time out on the coast though.
Florida, no question. Massive brain shortage. Even worse than Texas.
Favorite regional band – they had almost made it big! The Urge.
Scariest state even though I have never been there: Arizona. I’m fairly sure if I ever went, I’d get caught up in a battle between some Minute Men and illegal immigrants and then probably get arrested by Sheriff Joe Arpaio. That place just seems like a keg ready to explode. Or maybe it’s already exploding, which is a good reason not to go.
I love Sheriff Joe.
He’s a bad mother fucker.
Arizona, scariest for sure. And Route 11 potato chips rule.
Favorite Regional Brand: That’d be a toss-up between Yard’s Pale Ale (brewed right here in downtown Philadelphia), and Flying Fish Extra Pale Ale (brewed across the river in Cherry Hill, New Jersey). Both are delicious as fuck. The Yard’s is a bit hoppier than the F.F., but not in an off-putting way. The F.F. is “breadier,” perhaps “yeastier,” than the Yard’s. Both really hit the spot.
Scariest State: Louisiana. New Orleans is all crime and tourists and voodoo and housing projects and people buried above-ground and corrupt cops who’ll shoot you in a second and 110-degree summer temps. And the rest of the state is divided between chemical factories and alligator-infested swamps.
Yards Philly Pale Ale…the perfect beer!
Yes, but we have Zatairain’s and Abita and Zapp’s and Mardi Gras and JazzFest and all kinds of tasty critters,
Is Broughton’s Ice Cream regional? I think so. Their ice cream rocks. Mister Bee potato chips used to be the best ever but they started dicking around with the oil or something and they suck now.
States with swamps and/or people who live in swamps scare me. Ohio does seem to have more than its share of mad-dog killers. Just up the road in Marietta seems to be the capital of unsolved murders.
A few years ago. Mr. Bee tried to go “healthy”, and switched to canola oil, or some such crap. It didn’t take them long to switch back to their original oil, peanut oil, I think, once sales started falling off. To me, they still taste the same as they did originally. (But that’s just me.) Chaqun a son gout (To each his own).
Broughton’s used to be based solely in Marietta, but were bought out a few years ago by a bigger firm. You can now get Broughton’s products as far away as St. Louis. I don’t know how much of their product line is still made in Marietta.
I will give the Bee another chance. I knew Broughton had been bought out but I was hoping they kept the ice cream making part local. Still like the ice cream tho. And the french onion dip when I can find it. 🙂
When i was really young my dad was a milkman for Fairmont foods on Fairview avenue. Now there was some good ice creem.
Totally agree! You could go in and get a cone, or buy it in bulk. My dad used to save the 32 oz metal cans the ice cream came in, and used them to store nails, screws, etc., on his work bench. Right now, I’m looking at an old “Fairmont Imperial Bulk Ice Cream (Guaranteed To Satisfy)” can. It has roofing nails in it. There’s a “guarantee” and a “Money Back Guarantee” on the back of the can. The division office address was 1019 Murdoch Avenue. Yep. Remember that one!
My uncle went to school with some broughton kids, I think they bought the marietta brewing company. Also I applied for a job there once (milking cows or banging sheep or something).
Did you guys read about the toilet cam at the BMV?
I used to rent half of the “Broughton Mansion” on I believe, Green St, in Marietta Cool old house. Some lawyer bought it, had his Mom living in one half, and rented out the half that I lived in. Being from Seattle, $400 a month sounded real cheap…then came the $400 a month gas bill, $400 a month electric…oh, the 400s seemed like they were never ending! Order a pizza from Domino’s…”Yes sir, that will be $400…plus tip.”
Yea, the director has been replaced, and the office re-opens Monday. Don’t know if he’s the culprit, or not.
I used to be afraid of WV. I think it stems from a childhood trip from, a state that some of you fear, Kentucky, to Cleveland. As we were getting ready to head north into Ohio, my Dad took a wrong turn, and for a brief moment we were in WV. Mom kind of panicked until Dad righted us and got us back on track. whew!
Anyway, the first real time I was ever in WV, my husband was driving and I slept all the way in (moving from KY). I woke up somewhere around Fairmont and heard an Emergency Broadcast System alert that part of Morgantown was being evacuated – some kind of poisonous chemical cloud.
There still are part of WV that make me uneasy.
Regional favorites: Mr. Bee Potato Chips, from my home town of Parkersburg, and Oliverio’s Italian sauces, peppers, and lots of other good tomatoe-y stuff, from Clarksburg, I think.
Scariest state: Mississippi. Just drive through it once. That’s all it takes.
Oh man, not to make you think worse of me, but I HATE Mr. Bee potato chips! My best friend, however, absolutely loves them! Of course, he uses them against me…opening a bag and saying, “Here, ya want some of these?” It’s like the chips come out of the bag pre-soggy!
Actually, the Mr. Bee chip syndrome is common back east. Swanson’s up in New York, Middleswarth’s in PA…definitely an acquired taste. Evidently it has all to do with the type of oil they fry them in.
Regional: Frankovich Egg Nog. Only comes out at Christmas (duh) and is so smoooooth. And packs a wallop if you are not careful. It seems to only be sold in NoNev.
Scariest state: Montana, only because I’ve heard about the number of drunk drivers on the road..
Heh….several years ago, and this IS true, some Montana legislature tried to put through a bill in the State House to make it legal to drink beer and drive. He cited the “long distances, and boredom” to help make his case. Oh yeah, it failed.
Best thing about Montana is the State Troopers. Back in the day where the Interstate speed limit was nebulously described as “A safe and prudent speed,” I got pulled over in a rental car at 104 MPH. The trooper told me, “Mr Curtis, 104 is NOT a safe and prudent speed, I’m letting you off with a warning, and I will let you know that my buddy has his radar out over by Big Timber.” Coolest cops…outside of the great ones we have in Alaska.
Texas. Nuff said.
DiCarlo’s Pizza (Wellsburg and Wheeling are the best of the small chain).
And fuck New Jersey.
We have one in Parkersburg, and the pizza is tremendous. If you order it, they put a layer of mozzerella on after it comes out of the oven, and it just melts right in. Killer! Glad you brought it up.
New Jersey sucks, but I wouldn’t say it’s scary. It’s more laughably mediocre than scary.
Holleran’s Home Pizza is in Saint Clairsville is better in my opinion. Although there is a DiCarlos across the street if that is more your speed.
Mystic Pizza in CT lived up to the hype. It was awesome.
Favorite regional brands? Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale. That stuff is stout. I’ve never had another ginger ale like it. It’s really strong and spicy. I also love Golden Eagle Syrup. To me, it’s not really meant for pancakes or waffles, but it’s amazing on biscuits and in pecan pies.
Scariest state? Louisiana, without a doubt. Every time we drive through it (and it used to be multiple times per year) I would force the husband to set the cruise at exactly the speed limit to reduce the chances of being pulled over. Remember when they were running investigative reports about small towns in LA pulling people over and confiscating everything but their underwear under some drug laws?
Scariest state – Cleveland. Eurasia comes in at a close 2nd.
The first state that popped into my mind was Texas, so I’ll go with it. I’ll second Florida as well.
Regional brands (some defunct): Drake’s Cakes, Freihofer’s cookies, Charles Chips, Victory beers. Regional band: Blotto.
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Grippo’s!
Scariest state? Maine.
The Other Half (below Bangor) – yes. The worst problem in My Homeland (above Bangor) is the fear of hitting a moose at 75 mph.
You may die of boredom in some towns, but it’s pretty rare.
North Dakota, them fuckers ain’t afraid to bend you over. What else they got going? G’night!
My favorite regional food is Sterzing’s potato chips. They are made in Burlington IA. They tried to go trans fats free a few years ago, but those chips sucked. So, they are now back to the original ones.
A regional food I don’t understand the obsession with is St. Louis style pizza, specifically Imo’s. I guess it’s because I didn’t grow up here. Tastes like rubbery velveeta and catsup on a saltine.
Agree once again!
I’d have to say anywhere in Louisiana that Orleans parish post office doesn’t deliver mail to. North Louisiana and Way-Up Maine have a lot in common. Few teeth, lots of unhinged porch dogs, etc.
And a tendency toward giving you the “do I hear banjos?” feeling when you’re passing on small, 2 lane roads.
Another NOLA resident. Woot!
I think I’m going to have to agree that Maine is the scariest state. Or Detroit.
Yes the state of Detroit is scary… just breakin’ balls Ashton…. but I agree, as a Canadian, all the states are a little scary but Michigan? whoa!!!,,, around Detroit scared the crap out of me.
I fucked up and rear-ended a van on the highway …while waiting at the repair shop the guy asked if I could come inside rather than stand outside – that way he could help protect me….
Yeah, a little out of my element. And the guns… geez the only thing I saw more of was couches on front lawns, abandoned cars and broken windows.
One of the employees came in for the day with his thermos, cell phone and revolver and just dropped all three on his desk like it was no big deal. Yeah, WAY out of my element.
Scariest state for me would have to be Arkansas. Not that it’s really that bad, but driving home on leave from the Air Force from Mississippi one Christmas, my freind and I pulled off the Intersate for a pee break at a rest area. The road to the rest area led round, and round, and it seemed like the scene was getting more sinister by the minute. Finally we pulled into this gigantic empty parking lot, and at the end were two porta potties. Nothing bad happened…probably because we both said, “This scares the crap outta me,” sped out of the parking lot, and we held it in til Texas.
Ditto…Arkansas. Drove thru moving to AZ (another scary place) and now live in TX (Austin is decidedly not scary). Had a tire blow out in Arkansas and had to stop at a garage in the middle o’nowhere and I KNOW FOR A FACT I heard banjo music playing the entire time we were waiting for our car. One word – Deliverance.
Austin is not part of Texas. Kind of like West Berlin used to not really be part of East Germany. That seems so weird to type these days, East Germany.
Favorite regional brands: Back in the day in the Seattle area, Nalley’s potato chips, Sunny Jim peanut butter and jams.
That’s all gone now, so probably my favorite regional brand is from my wife’s area in Western NY…Bison chip dips. Awesome stuff!
For no particular reason, just perception, Mississippi seems scary to me.
Hey Jeff…Enjoy your vacation but like the saying goes…”All work and no play…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIqq9GusbSQ&feature=related
No regional favorites. Like previously posted, Skyline would have been my choice, but it’s pretty much national now.
Scariest state? That’s right, I live there. Florida is a melting pot of every fucking psycho that escapes to here from other states. Also, overwhelmed by illegal aliens that have no remorse about any crimes they commit. We have four locks on every door in our house and, even though Sarasota doesn’t have the reputation of a Miami or Tampa, the danger is still out there.
The new Wilco album is some of the best work that they have done in awhile (it’s “Now Playing in the Bunker”).
Abita Beer
Zapp’s chips
Sure Fine Rootbeer
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Scariest state is either Nevada or New Mexico.
Probably new mexico. Driving across those great swaths of desert is horrible. Not because of the desolation, but because of the little town speckling the country side.
I once passed through a town in northern New Mexico (or hell, it could have been Texas, it was in that border area between the two up north) that was made up of about 15 houses, all surrounding a gas station/Dairy Queen/City hall(?). I needed to fill the tank with gas so I figured I’d give a local Dairy Queen some money.
Here’s how that went:
Hey, I’d like a chicken finger basket.
We’re all out.
Out, that sucks. Just a burger and fries then. No mustard no mayo please.
We’re all out.
You don’t even have any fries.
(Now a crowd of about 3 is forming around me)
No. We’re all out.
(Me standing there uncomfortably)
Okay then, I’ll be getting out of here.
Mm-hmm.
(The yokels starring at me as I walk out of the building and get the hell out of dodge.
Creepy, man. Creepy.
Regional Brands = Cheerwine (cherry Dr. Pepper has tried to copy it and can’t come close) and Bojangles – both staples of the great state of North (No it isn’t South) Carolina.
Even though I was born in WV, it has to be the scariest state because you don’t hear about what goes on there like you do in Florida…
As a Michigan native, what I miss most is Koegel hot dogs and bologna. My wife is nuts for their pickled bologna. Whenever we are in Michigan we stuff our luggage with frozen hot dogs and jars of pickled bologna which nearly always results in a friendly note in our suitcase from the TSA that our luggage was hand-inspected. At least they haven’t snacked on anything yet.
And you have to love a corporation that adopts “Serve the Curve” as their corporate motto: http://www.koegelmeats.com/
After living in Florida for the last year, I have to go with the majority; Florida features incredible stupidity, illegals everywhere, crime rates that give DC a run for its money, and narcissism is the state sport. Illustrative story from a few weeks ago: Retard on a motorcycle runs into the back of a truck at an estimated 160mph, then his rag-dolled body is run over by two other drivers who didn’t bother to stop. The story was so unremarkable that it was barely mentioned other than I-4 being closed for several hours so EMS could find all the body parts causing massive traffic jams during the morning commute.
Ever drive through CT? That’s scary. I think the drivres feel their directionals are optional. So you have to be a kind of mind reader to know that the doofus in front of you wants to turn. Also, they tend to stay in the left lane until about a foot before their exit then cut across 4 lanes of traffic.
(Sorry if I offended any CT drivers on this board – I’m not talking about you.)
We spent a week there this summer. Hartford is a little scary but the rest was beautiful. The drivers did seem kind of absent minded though.
Scariest state by far is California. They have the most liberal liberals, therefore, the most laws curtailing personal freedom.
I can live with threats to sanity, civility and personal safety, which seems to comprise most of the list here today. I can’t live with threats to my constitutional rights.
Come on people… you can’t get a Happy Meal in SFO. It’s against the freakin’ law!
Henderson, come on down here to southern OC. The Constitution is alive, well, and being defended daily.
When I think “scary state” I think Mississippi. Florida and Texas and Ohio and the others mentioned may be a horror to live in, but as far as just passing through, I’d be sure to fill up the tank just before entering the state, and drive straight through without stopping (although I can’t imagine ever driving through the South short of a total discontinuation of our aviation system). As far as making Mississippi a destination? Oh hell no.
it’s hard to define a regional food here, given the mishmash of immigrants, both domestic and international. But there’s one constant for sports fans–Farmer John hot dogs. Hogs have been imported by rail from points East for “processing” just south of downtown L.A. since the 30’s (in the mid-60’s the famous “Dodger Dog” was introduced at Dodger Stadium), and as far as a “normal” hot dog (vs. a sausage of one kind or another), there’s nothing better. As Vin Scully still says in his broadcast ads, they’re “easternmost in quality, westernmost in flavor.”
The turkey leg story made me laugh and brought up a funny memory.. When my late husband and I were at Biketoberfest years ago, specifically at The Iron Horse Saloon, they had a consession stand with those big ass turkey legs. Blecch. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on one. There were only a few under a heat lamp. We all said to wait for a fresh one. But no… that thing was so dry that when he took the first bite, his front tooth partial got stuck and nearly yanked it out of his mouth. Fucking hilarious.
Scariest state(s): Florida…ditto what everyone else has said. AND Indiana. We lived in Terre Haute at one time. My sister is still there. Hillbilly m’f-er’s. My neice still sporting a fantastic mullit and she’s a good 300lbs. Nice combo. Last time I saw her I told her an update on the ‘do was needed. I was told to ‘shuuut the fuuuck uuup’ in her semi-southern accent.
Brands in Pittsburgh: Pennsylvania Mac or Penn Mac. In the Strip District. Cheese deli, homemade pepperoni, sausage, sopressata, an olives of every kind in buckets you scoop out with huge ladel’s.
Also, Delallo products. A local Italian product/foods distributor. Great sauce’s.
Utz potato chips. Like Lay’s…salty as hell.
One can purchase a Fred Flintstone turkey leg at Disneyland. No shit.
I’ve always wanted to try one of those Turkey legs – they have them at Disney World too…
BC, I’ve been swamped at work and haven’t been chiming in… so I’m a little behind. I hope you’re coping well with the loss of your sweet little pug. Most dogs are good but great dogs stay with us for ever. We lost a great dog too – Farley (the mutt… aka…. Farleswoth…aka Farley the wonder dog….aka White Fang, Lone Hunter of the Tundra….aka Farfignugen-Holstein-Clydsdale). He was awesome and I miss him so… even despite our two Scheisse Hunds. I send a big brotherly hug your way. I hope for a lightness in your heart and a smile on your face in the days to come. Cherish the days you had; those memories will make you smile forever.
And so not to leave on a down note for you – and hopefully to make you smile – You made me smile when I read about taking a clipping of hair – Farley shed like a son of a bitch so we surprised the vet when we laughed out loud during the tears at the notion that we take a small clipping of hair – I already had a house full. 🙂
A few notable local foods I have not found elsewhere:
In Florida (even though it is actually about the scariest state out there); try the smoked mullet. You will probably only see it in the Big Bend or Panhandle areas of the state. Good with hush puppies and beer (order a Budwesier or the crackers will look at you funny and perhaps even kill you and bury you in the woods somewhere).
In Missouri (and other nearby midwestern states, I suppose); try a St Paul sandwich. It’s an egg fu yung patty on white bread with lettuce, tomato, and a slathering of mayo. Tastes a lot better than it sounds.
In Washington State; Hood Canal Hamma Hamma oysters are a nice local food (as are the geoducks). Also, the smoked salmon made by some of the native American folks out that way is better than any other that I’ve ever tried.
In Utah; try the ‘fry sauce’. It’s basically ketchup and mayo mixed with a bit of worcestershire. Invented as something to dip your french fried into. Also, what they call ‘scones’ there are actually fry bread served with butter and honey.
I think every state is someone’s scariest. Except for those state that people forgot about years ago. Like New Mexico and Toyotathon.
I personally love Ohio and the Commonwealth of KY but if you’ve ever been to Knockemstiff then yes it is scary.
And in KY there was a place I would always stop driving from Cincy to ATL but the gas station would be closed so I’d just get out and piss behind the station and at least 3 times I ended up finishing my piss from my car like Danny Pintauro because 3 or 4 fucking hounds from hell came out of nowhere to eat my snausage. This was somewhere near Tennessee, so about 180 miles from Cincy which is a good place to stop on a mountain dew fueled road trip.
Here in Oklahoma I’m assuming it’s a little off in the panhandle. Anytime you have a piece of a state that no one wanted the people there will be off. Missouri’s bootheel for example, the eastern shore of VA, and of course Pittsburgh.
I haven’t spent enough time in other states to know what is scary. I lived in Southern OR and it was pretty creepy at times. Lots of meth heads reproducing and shopping at “the Walmart”.
I have been scared in FL, but that was from the senior drivers. My husband kept calling them the zombies.
Blue Bunny ice cream. Mmmmmmmmmm………
They used to have a factory in Minnesota, I think it was, the size of a small town. Couldn’t find it outside the Midwest back then. Now it’s for sale down at the City Market here in Colorful Colorado. I haven’t seen Cherry Nut in far, far too long though. They used to have a lot of seasonal varieties, and the Cherry Nut was so luscious I figured it had lard and plutonium in it or something but I didn’t care.
I would also pay some serious money for a fresh package of Archway Black Walnut Ice Box cookies. Extinct for decades, for some awful reason.
Scary State: Rhode Island. I think it should secede from the US and form its own obnoxious little country.
I miss Moxie soda and Humpty Dumpty “All Dressed” potato chips from New England. Moxie is a soda that started out as a ‘stomach elixer’ – and was carbonated by mistake. It’s an acquired taste. HD “All Dressed” is a combination of everything left in the bins after all of the days bags have been filled. In short, it’s a nice name for “leftovers”. One bite is barbecue, the next is clam dip.
I have a buddy from western New York (Tonawanda) and he introduced me to a local product called Chiavetta’s(sp?) chicken marinade. Still the BEST chicken I have ever had!
Here in Atlanta, we have Sweetwater Brewery. Love their IPA!
I have to say New Mexico is the scariest state that I have visited. I drove past countless properties miles from anywhere with yard art made out of metal scrap with curious themes and signs tying to tempt you from your vehicle…reminded me of road side attractions in generic horror films.