Yep, it was too hot for amusement. Last time I mentioned we were going to Knoebels, and it was supposed to be one of the hottest days in (I think I have this right) human existence. And “they” were right. Yowza! It was the kind of oppressive heat that just leaches all the energy, optimism, and survival instincts from a person. It felt like my outsize body was just sucking up the hot and storing it in my ass and gut meat.
But we endured for a few hours. And then a hell-storm rolled through. We noticed the sky turning menacing, so we took shelter in a big covered eatery called The Oasis. Toney and I were sitting there, somebody screamed, and stuff started flying around. Then a blast of hot air hit us, and it was filled with sand and dust. Both my eyes were instantly on fire and I was coughing like the tuberculosis had taken hold. As soon as I regained my composure bolts of lightning started coming down and it sounded like shit was blowing up.
Oh, it was a great day, I’m telling you. I didn’t even get my BLT. Grrr… I did have some cheese fries (an automatic must) and Toney and I shared a weird Southern sweet tea slushie thing we love. But that’s all the eating I could fit in, ’cause the day was cut short. After the storm everything was wet and many of the rides didn’t even re-open, so the boys were fine with leaving. Thank God.
And get this! We made our way to Cracker Barrel for dinner, as is the tradition, and they were all out of the Campfire Meals. WTS? They advertise them every seven minutes, but when you go there they don’t actually have them? I was annoyed but quickly adapted. It’s easy for a man of my size and disposition to adapt at a Cracker Barrel.
But it was an unsatisfactory day. Not a complete disaster — we got a few hours of broiling “fun” out of it — but it could’ve been better. Ya know? Hey, whatever. I’ve reached a point where I just roll with just about everything. I don’t have the energy for any, you know, honest to goodness emotions at this point. Pass the beer nuts.
Under what circumstances have you experienced the highest temperatures in your life so far? Please tell us about them in the comments.
This week I finished the final season of The Americans. Holy shit! It’s without a doubt one of the best shows ever, and the final season might have been the best of its entire run. Every episode was fantastic, and the final installment was like great literature. Oh, it was exciting and crazy, but also super-smart and well-executed. I can’t recommend the show strongly enough. One of my all-time favorites.
In fact, if somebody were to ask for my favorite TV shows of all-time, I’d list (in no particular order): The Americans, The Sopranos, LOST, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Homicide: Life on the Streets, The Andy Griffith Show, Seinfeld, The Office, Late Night with David Letterman, Beavis and Butthead, and Green Acres. There are tons of others that I loved (Homeland, House of Cards, Freaks and Geeks) but the ones above are the core shows, I believe. I might’ve forgotten some? I’m not sure.
What would your core list look like? And can you name just one favorite from your list? I can’t. It’s impossible. Right?
I need to call it a day, my friends. More “opportunities” await me at work. They just keep on comin’.
I posted a new podcast episode at Patreon, a weekly thank-you to all 23 patrons who have pledged $4 or more per month. So, thank you guys! And remember, there’s always room for more.
This is the short description I wrote for it: A lack of mystery in today’s music, a guy wearing a Tabasco shirt, rampaging monkeys, and a gentleman known as Manwich Dick. Plus, a few other odds and ends. Mostly ends, to be honest. This is the first episode for patrons only. Thank you guys! Much appreciated. I hope you enjoy the show.
I’ll be back on Monday.
Have a fantastic weekend, boys and girls!
Now playing in the bunker
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“I’m not sure, but your wife may be one of us.”. Bye Stan.
That was the best scene in the entire series! The look on Stan’s face was priceless.
I always have to say Northern Exposure.
Yes!
Absolutely!
Dude, where’s ‘The Wire”?
Right? Especially since Homicide is on there.
An Nassirya, Iraq. 2003, 129 degrees Fahrenheit.
Thanks for your service. I know that’s really hot, but your specificity reminded me that it would have been much worse in Celsius or Kelvin.
jtb
In Kelvin it would have been colder than a witch’s tit in Idaho. But still worse, I think.
Yeah, at -227, you’d stick to the witch’s breast like a tongue to a flagpole in January. You’d be stuck in Idaho for a long time. I spent a week in Boise one night and that’s about what it felt like. As I recall.
jtb
In an North Texas oilfield in 1982. We were pulling an olefinic well that produced a waxy oil. when we broke the rods the waxy oil that covered the rods would rain down on top of us. I was standing in the hot sun, 114 degrees outside with no wind and covered in black waxy oil. We had to stop and crawl under the rig to escape the sun and keep from passing out. That and the fact that my co-workers were all missing digits reaffirmed my desire to go to college. Hot as hell.
I don’t understand the Deadwood choice. That show was boring and the fact that it was cancelled without an ending made me mad I wasted my time watching the damn thing. I would insert “The Wire” in there easily. The Rockford Files needs to be included too. Bosch on Amazon is fantastic as well. Smart writing.
Deadwood makes my list, too.
Maybe higher up than Jeff had it.
Justified. Hands down. Season 3 with Neal McDonough was one for the ages.
Justified was an amazing show. It definitely makes my top 5.
Wisey,
Have you read the Bosch books?
I’m a fan of their spark plugs- not so much on their power tools.
I like his paintings of Hell. Damn, that reminds me that I still have to remove my Hakkapeliittas and rotate them to the basement in preparation for the hot, hot Puget Sound summer, which I believe is scheduled for the second week of Auguste Rodin, to mix a metaphor.
jtb
His paintings are so contemporary, eh?
Like he’s been readin’ my mail. I can’t describe his anticipatory journalistic works and their subjects because of site restrictions. Why can’t we all just get along?
jtb
Yes, I have read them all and loved every one of them. Micheal Connelly is a great writer and I think Titus Welliver nails the Harry Bosch character to a T.
It threw me off a bit that they changed the age/timeline. But I can understand why they did it.
Vegas (dry) and DC (humid).
I second the motion for Late Night with David Letterman, but just the NBC years. Also Miami Vice, Twin Peaks, Crime Story (first season) and Star Trek (any). Yes, I haven’t watched much TV lately.
Crime Story was actually on Amazon Prime for a while.
Hawaii-Five O and the Sopranos are tied for #1 on my list.
Beavis and Butthead! Fuck yeah.
Binge watching the Trailer Park Boys right now
TPB are awesome
Agreed!
Laughlin NV in August. Outdoor bull riding even. I think it was 123 degrees. no joke. It was like a blast furnace
Formative years, All In the Family and MASH. Later on…Cheers , Life, and Letterman, currently Gotham and Looming Tower.
I live in swamp ass Sarasota. Every day from March to October is like being in a fucking sauna, no relief. My car AC unit gets props for being my saving grace.
The hottest for us was a trip to the Grand Canyon. We hiked down Bright Angel Trail to the bottom, then rafted for 9 days. The temp wen to 107 degrees on the hike down and brutal.
But guess what, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. It was the best trip of our lives and I’d recommend it to anyone!
While doing tech service work on desalination unit in Bahrain, it was 128*F on top of that beastie…so hot that it melted the adhesive holding the soles on to my sneakers. Switched to a “Ho Chi Minh” style sandal with soles made from old tires…no more problems but still damn hot.
To the tv list, Twilight Zone, Outer Limits and the George Reeves Superman tv series. All of these impressed me as a preteen and are still entertaining in sort of a campy 40s-50s way.
Let’s not make this worse than it is. Adventures of Superman: 1952-1958; Twilight Zone: 1959-1964; The Outer Limits: 1963-1965. Big difference between the 40s and the 50s.
1940s: Hope & Crosby, Andrews Sisters, Gary Cooper, Abbott and Costello, Big Bands, WWII, Berlin Airlift, FDR, baggy trousers
1950s: Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Lenny Bruce, Elvis, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, McCarthy Hearings, Korean War, Ike, pegged pants
In the “one of these things is not like the others” department, The Twilight Zone was social commentary disguised as science fiction and fantasy; The Outer Limits had a few good shows; Adventures of Superman had its moments even though it was one of the most cheaply made shows in the history of TV.
Didn’t mean to rant. Just expanding.
jtb
Are you f**cking kidding me? Favorites = opinions, that’s all this is.
I wasn’t being critical of your choices. As an old, old man, I was differentiating between the 1940s and 1950s. I watched all three of the shows and enjoyed them all. My little point, obviously badly made, was that they were very much shows of the 50s. Superman remains a hero to both the mole men and me.
The Twilight Zone is on my all-time top 10 list. Sorry I offended you. I had absolutely no intent of doing so.
John
I’m expanding in my old age too; thanks for noticing. It may have something to do with Being Able To Afford Food these days.
My So Called Life, cagney and lackey, the golden girls, all in the family and the Carol Burnett show. To name a few.
We also had a crazy storm Monday evening
The rain came in sideways and the wind took out 2 trees. What the check is up with all of these violent storms lately?
I hate typing on my tablet.
madz, I can’t imagine a better name for a show about a headstrong female cop and her gofer: Cagney and Lackey. It’s like God was typing through your fingers and that She has a sense of humor after all.
John
John, I just love you. You always make me laugh. Or, on this tablet you may make me laff.
Best TV Shows list (not in any particular order):
The Dick Van Dyke Show;
Star Trek: Voyager;
Gilligan’s Island;
The Twilight Zone (1960’s version);
Alfred Hitchcock Presents;
Dirty Jobs;
Andy Griffith (before Barney left);
Columbo; and
Hogan’s Heroes.
Picking just one would be a problem. I guess I don’t like ‘modern’ TV too much!
Sorry I’m late to the party. The shows you mentioned are all great. I’d add Six Feet Under to the list. Probably the best written, best acted series ever.
Two years ago, we spent about 3 weeks moving from our big old house into a temporary rental, which was a 3 story walk-up. It happened to be the hottest 3 weeks ever in the northeast. A half-dozen days above 100, and most of the rest well above 90, with about 900% humidity. The 3 weeks included many dump runs, trips to temporary storage facilities, and drop-offs at other people’s houses. Despite the approximately 75 pounds of sweat I generated, I actually gained weight from all the crappy fast food I consumed, while we had no usable kitchen.
OK, here’s my personal favorites, in no particular order, and most likely with a few forgotten too:
Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, Sopranos, LOST, Deadwood, Boardwalk Empire, Homeland, Dexter, Six Feet Under, All in the Family, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-in, Penny Dreadful, Twilight Zone, Monty Python, MASH, Bosom Buddies, Moonlighting.