This is going to be a quickie, to get that freaking “American Pie” picture off the top of the homepage. For some reason that thing was really starting to bother me.
I was driving this morning, running an errand (so to speak), and something popped into my head that might or might not make a good Question of the Day. So, I’ll give it a shot…
During my Atlanta record weasel years, you see, I almost never paid to see a band. Oh, I had connections. And one day some hipster guy handed me a pair of tickets for a show at a tiny hole-in-the-wall club.
“You’ve got to check these guys out,” he said. “They’re gonna be HUGE!”
Yeah, yeah. It was always the same pitch: everybody’s gonna be HUGE. I looked at the band’s name on the ticket, and I’d never heard of them. I told him I’d try to make it, and meant what I said. I’d grown semi-cynical, but still loved live music — especially the free kind.
But I happened to be in the early stages of a relationship at the time, and the two of us ended up “staying in” for the evening. If you know what I mean. When one thing started leading to another, those tickets moved waaaaaay down the list of priorities.
So, I missed the show in order to engage in shenanigans with a girlfriend, and the name of the band we ditched that night? Some outfit out of Seattle, called Pearl Jam.
When it was happening, the decision was a slam-dunk. There wasn’t even one second of hesitation. But now I realize what a huge mistake I made. Clumsy sex on a bed with wheels (“let’s see if we can make it all the way to the kitchen this time!”) happened occasionally. But seeing Pearl Jam in a tiny club before their first album was even released… That’s a once in a lifetime, right?
So, that’s yer Question: What important events have you blown-off because of a hormonal hijack? Use the comments link below to tell us your stories.
Also, on the flipside, what ridiculous things have you willingly endured, believing it might lead to sex later in the evening? (Thanks JDL, for the Question-enhancement!) I once saw the Commodores for that reason, as well as Rick Springfield, and several horrible foreign films that almost caused me to cry from boredom. What about you?
I’ll be back tomorrow, with a real update.
See ya then.
Now playing in the bunker
Buy your $10 Miscommunication Shirt!
Too bad you did’t switch the WVSRCam shot as well…
I “skipped” the live SImon and Garfunkle free concert at Central Park to finish a work project.
DUH! what a tool I was.
Alice in WV says
I passed on Radiohead. I was at a used record shop and the girl behind the counter tried to sell me on the show, but I was an idiot and decided not to waste money on some unknown band from England. Pablo Honey had either just been released or was about to drop and no one (at least in my neck of the woods) had heard about them. Creep broke huge about a week later and I’ve been kicking myself ever since.
I was in Austin with some friends in the late 1990s and we met up with the girl I knew named Krystal. She was a hot little piece of work – curvy, busty, blonde, etc. Everyone wanted to go out to clubs but Krystal and I decided to stay behind and do the deed.
The next morning everyone was telling me about this guy that jumped on stage, put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. “You should have been there dude!” everyone kept saying.
I didn’t feel to bad at first because Krystal was a fox and we had a good time. A few weeks later me and her went at it again. That’s when I realized that I could have had her later and I missed what was probably my only chance to see a guy shoot his brain out right in front of my eyes.
I try to comfort myself by reasoning that I might have been in the bathroom or something when it happened.
I’m sorry I missed seing George Carlin. Last night I saw Louis CK. No Carlin but still worth every penny.
Here’s the related question to Jeff’s “I missed Pearl Jam to have sex” story. What piece of shit concert have you endured in order to bang your date or further the chances of banging your date? I sat through Milli Vanilli, Seduction and Young MC for a shot at the pie, which I later got but not that night. It wasn’t worth it.
JR in Sammamish says
Top 10!! Sunday update!!!
Ian the Errolite says
As I heard on the radio driving to work tonight.
‘Opportunities of a lifetime rarely come labled as such.’
I’ve got tckets for ‘Them Crooked Vultures’ in Edinburgh and am cosidering selling them. There selling for way over the asking price just now and the profit could pay for my son’s Christmas present.
If I sell them I may be kicking myself in the future though.
We’ll see what the albums like.
And if he behaves.
Trisha aka Mrs. Wally says
Yeah, I am a female. I am the one making y’all miss shit for a chance to get the goodies. Don’t hate me. Neither one of us can help it!
D in Seattle says
This one goes to eleven!
JDL, I saw C&C music factory with a girl that I had broken up with earlier in the year. Man, 10th grade was stupid. she had sweet tits butterface, and she wouldn’t tongue kiss.
Which brings up another question, maybe Klaus is gay! so if Klaus says to give his love to Wilhelm you say “Bullshit, Klaus! You give your own love to Wilhelm. I’m going off to find Rebecca!”.
I had two sky suite tickets to the Capital Center in Washington DC to see the Rolling Stones. I gave both tickets to this girl, who was my hormonal obsession at the time, because she wouldn’t go with me. I can’t even remember her name now…
I once endured a Gowan concert for the chance to get laid. Here’s a link to one of his vids if you don’t know who Gowan is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4eT_0tnj1w
As bad as Milli Vanilli? No, but far worse than Young MC.
Tyrosine it just goes to show: Your a strange animal!
Endured a Celine Dion Concert for a lady I knew was: “the one!” until I woke up the next morning & realized she liked Celine Dion! Whew that was close!
Shiny Rod says
Gawd, 8 hours and I’m in the top 20? WTF? Let’s just say from 1976 to 1986 my hormones hijacked me. Thank gawd that’s over with.
A couple of years ago I left halfway through a Robyn Hitchcock concert in a small club with excellent seats because my girlfriend was tired bored and unhappy. GOD DAMMIT!
I can’t recall ever giving up anything good for a shot at sex. However, in college I endured The Bodyguard hoping that my boyfriend of a few months would finally put out. He didn’t. In addition to realizing that he was actually the one with the vagina and I had the cojones, I discovered that no opportunity for sex is ever worth watching 2+ hours of Kevin Costner.
Good call on dumping the Celine fan. As a rule of thumb I try to avoid fans of adult contemporary music.
“no opportunity for sex is ever worth watching 2+ hours of Kevin Costner”
Truer words have never been spoken.
JK- thanks for the new bunker-cam pic, those weird 70’s glasses were freaking me out, not to mention the smoking on the plane..
Deline Cion truly does suck and blow at the same time, makes me a little ashamed to be a Canuckistani.
I don’t even want to talk about Gowan, crap what’s next, somebody’s going to bring up Garfield? (more canadian cheddar)
Tyrosine, for what it’s worth, I think we’re abou 40 minutes down the road from each other,.
or abOOt, as Terence and Philip would say
My college sweetheart was not sweet and may have had no heart. I passed an entrance exam that was notoriously hard (200 people took it; 4 of us passed), but failing simply meant you had to take a bonehead class and take the test again. Most passed the second time. Well, when he found out I passed sweetlessheartless totally blew off the champaigne celebration I had planned. Didn’t even bother to call to tell me that he and his friend decided to go to a bar to see a band at the last minute. The year was 1983; the band, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Motherfuckers.
The only awful thing I’ve endured for sex is douchebags because I was a magnet for assholes. Actually, that pretty much covers my sex life to age 36.
Oh, I met Freddie Mercury and forgot to ask for an autograph. There’s a moment of brilliance I’ve kicked my ass for 29 years over.
I was at one of Pearl Jam’s “legendary” pre-Ten London gigs. I wasn’t impressed. I saw them again about a year later (much larger venue) – still wasn’t impressed. Ten is an excellent album though.
I missed GNR at The Marquee in London (RIP, capacity ~500 people) by 2 days. Doh!
40 minutes from Niagara to London? Either you’re living in Brantford, or you haven’t become acquainted with the OPP’s new speed limit enforcement policies. But yes, we are close.
“As I heard on the radio driving to work tonight.
‘Opportunities of a lifetime rarely come labled as such.’”
As the wonderful Jeff Talmadge sings on his little album “Gravity, Grace and the Moon”, You don’t have to see beyond the headlights, just to find your way back home.
I think the guy on the radio was talking about your son, but I could be wrong.
Hmmm….I don’t think I’ve ever passed up sex for ANYTHING.
Why in the orgasmic hell would I want to do that?
good2go – the last time I saw Carlin (right before his final HBO special) we had to endure a coke snorting douchebag who kept yelling and interrupting his act. That’s when George came out with these immortal words:
“Would someone slip a dick into that person’s mouth?”
That one line brought the house down!
The question of the day is as much of a Rorschach test as, “What do you think of Sarah Palin?” While the answer to the latter will tell you and everybody else something about your social/political/governmental values, the answer to the former will reveal the level of your testosterone poisoning (roughly corresponding to age in males and levels of longing in females).
As an over 50 male, I can’t imagine missing a solid concert for a sexual romp, but with the right kind of eyes, I can see myself doing so thirty years ago.
However, there are limits even then. I can close my eyes and see Jimi Hendrix in 1968 at the Seattle Center. I was less than 100 feet away from Mitch and Noel and Jimi, and slightly above them, and they tore the house down. But I’ll be damned if I can remember who I was with or whether we engaged in sexual activity that night.
It’s not that I’ve slept with hundreds of women, and the sheer volume clouds my memory, because I haven’t and it doesn’t; the point is, it’s JIMI HENDRIX, man! I hope whoever I attended the concert with is well and happy.
I remember you well at the Chelsea Hotel, but I remember Jimi Hendrix playing lead, rhythm and pyrotechnics simultaneously so much more vividly. So it goes…
Lee Harvey Ramone says
I shunned free Pearl Jam tickets about 4 or 4 times during the summer of 1991 while I was living in San Francisco, because I thought that the name sounded pretty friggin’ stupid. I still think that this is about as idiotic as any band name that has ever been. For a Pearl Jam tribute band name, maybe “Turquoise Melody” would work well (Opal Performance?). In addition to their inadequate nomenclature, I believe that short pants has done a lot to kill rock music (major exception = Angus Young; but that is sort of like a costume, right?). I don’t want to hear about the heat under stage lighting, either. I’ve seen the Ramones play outdoors in the summer heat of an Atlanta afternoon in their leather jackets for crying out loud.
Eddie Vedder, I’m calling you out!
All that being said, I probably should have seen the band for free at least one of the chances that I had back in 1991.
Band I saw once as the price to pay for sexual intercourse = Glass Eye
Gordion Knott says
I passed up an opportunity to see Tool because of an unknown warm-up band. Little did I realize that the band, Meshuggah, would become my favorite nordic metal group and receive greater spin time on my iPod than Tool.
But I made it to the free Simon and Garfunkle concert in Central Park. I’m a big fan of “the free.”
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt said that and she’s a good person to listen to.
Having said that, I apologize for leaping upon you yesterday because of your lack of punctuation. I should have noted that you hadn’t posted before. Again, you have my sincere regrets and my fervent hope that you will post soon and often on this site.
Lord knows we need to lower the net level of testosterone around here.
I hope your will accept my apology and shake my hand extended over the World Wide Web.
I endured Air Supply and Abba, thinking it would lead to sex. It didn’t, and 29 years later, I still get queasy thinking about it.
I missed the Who’s last American tour because my girlfriend at the time didn’t feel like going. WTF!
Alanis Morisette, in a tiny club, before Jagged Little Pill came out, given up for a little action.
Metallica, G&R, and Faith No More, given up… no action.
WB in OH says
I don’t recall any regrets for skipping an event to stay in and copulate.
About the worst thing I recall sitting through in hope of pleasing a former girlfriend was some crappy movie about a country western singer played by a country western singer who leaves the band and falls in love with some chickadee who has to win a rodeo to save the ranch. I can’t remember the name of the singer or the I would have googled it, was in theatres somewhere around 93-94.
Sonny in NH says
Ok…so i went to see Rascal Flatts in hopes of a little action and actually got fucked but not laid…..
Bill in WV says
Why can’t you just get it on AT the concert? I’ve seen it happening on more than one occasion (myself not involved).
WB in OH says
George Strait-Pure Country, 1992. Blecchh!
Wow, I totally missed this update.
A true story. My hormonal hijack was of the adolescent kind, which in the late 70s means video porn. My friend’s parents were out of town and so he invited about 6 of us to come over to his house and sit on his parent’s bed and watch cheesy porno on their BETAMAX. At this time you had to be wealthy to have one of these. We watched Debbie Does Dallas and Misty Beethoven. It was an eye opener for all of us, having previously perused only Playboy and the occasional Penthouse and never anything with “live action”.
To attend that gathering I declined an invitation not to see some unknown band which later became famous but to join another friend to and his father, who was a pathologist, to watch him perform an autopsy. Apparently most of these were done in some county facility and it was next to impossible to bring in visitors and particularly minors, but this one was being done elsewhere where there no rules or perhaps persons present to enforce the rules. My friend’s dad had no problem letting his son see an autopsy and this seemed like a fine idea to me.
I still regret this decision.
I went to the FSU-USF game. The game sucked. She did not.