Hurricane Sandy Duncan is bearing down on us, and tonight at work could be interesting. In fact, if they start talking about closing Interstate 81, I’m getting the hell out of there. I don’t want to be stranded 40 miles from home, with empty bleach bottles flying around.
By the way, what time is the glass eye of the storm supposed to make landfall? Heh.
I talked to my brother yesterday, and he’s going through a bunch of old VHS tapes from the 80s. He owned one of the earliest VCRs — I think we had to hook a water line up to it — and used to record EVERYTHING. It was a crazy novelty at first, and he filled tape after tape with just regular everyday TV broadcasts.
A few things I hope he finds:
The news report from when I won a 105-second “record run.” I had 105 seconds to run around Budget Tapes and Records, and grab as many albums as I could. There were tons of restrictions, however, and when the dust settled I got to keep 96 albums. A local news channel was there, and they showed me in fast-motion bouncing around the store. My brother recorded it, and if he finds it… I’ll definitely share it with you guys.
During the early 80s I wrote scripts for a local “comedy” show, called Dick’s Half Hour. He has copies of all six episodes, or whatever. I’d like to see those again. Holy shit. My best contribution was a skit about the “time lady,” who answered the phone and said, “The time is… 7:14 pm.” In my version she was a real person, being held hostage by the phone company. At one point the door opened and someone flung her a sack lunch, before slamming and locking it again.
There was a news report showing a woman distraught because of a mining accident, or house fire, or something. She was morbidly obese, and launched into full hysterics. She began screaming, “NOOO NOOOO!!” then fell backwards — and out of frame — before her cigarette flung high in the air and spun in the center of the screen for a second or two. We watched that thing a hundred times, and laughed so hard tears were rolling down our faces. I hope he finds it.
And this is a long-shot… but maybe he’ll even come up with the Holy Grail: the drunk-driving “Janie died” PSA. You know, “I’d like to watch the sun come up another 50 years, I’d like to write a novel that will bring the world to tears…?” I think it was broadcast during the 1970s, so he probably doesn’t have it. But I can dream, can’t I?
His exploration has already turned up a rare jewel. Last night he made a digital copy of the Amazing Delores documentary, and uploaded it to YouTube. Delores lived in Dunbar, went to school with our parents, and was an eccentric. She was a singer and dancer, and all-around local legend. The doc is GREAT. You should definitely watch it. Here’s the link. It’s about 30 minutes long, and super-rare. Check out #9 here.
And I’m going to work now. Hopefully an 80 mph wind gust doesn’t send me sailing through a guard rail or something. Jesus J. McChrist… I’m a bit puckered right now, if you want to know the truth.
See ya tomorrow, I hope.
Be safe out there!
Now playing in the bunker
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First?!
Thank God my employer came to their senses and told us to stay home today.
No way am I going out in that crap. Has your employer not seen the forecast for this evening?!
Good luck, good grief.
It’s a hurricane. Big deal.
I could only wish for so much water.
I stood face to face with Hurricane Andrew in 1991.
I got wet, he got my mixed drink.
I got my first VCR in 1987 and it was a montrosity. It was about 18 inches deep, 24 inches wide, 8 inches high and probably weighed 25 pounds. I have a most of the videotapes I ever made (200+), as I taped network shows, movies and documentaries. I used to fill the end of these tapes with channel surfing. So there are some old SportsCenter’s and CNN Headline News (when CNN actually did NEWS), commercials and whatnot.
One of my oldest tapes is from 1988. My parents & youngest brother were in Yellowstone National Park that summer – the summer it was on fire. It was a real inconvenience to all the tourists and CNN filed a story one day with the latest fire updates and showing how discouraged the tourists were. You couldn’t illustrate disgust better than the way they did: my dad, sitting in his car in a long line of them that weren’t going anywhere.
“Monstrosity”, that is.
I started taping in 1990. I taped mostly music stuff.
Is that picture of Sandy’s eye the real one or the glass one?
Dammit, Bill, I can’t stop laughing!
(Real tears out of real eyes).
Reminds me of one of the old Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts, when they were roasting Sammy Davis, Jr. Foster Brooks, in drunken stupor mode, says “We’re here tonight to honor a great American…..Sandy Duncan, Jr…………..”. Hilarious !!
Omg….I remember that roast! Hilarious.
Delores was related to another famous WV person. I can’t recall who it was though.
I used to party, stay up all night and tape Night Flight.
good times.
My employer wouldn’t/doesn’t give a shit if the bomb was deployed. SOMEONE needs to be there to answer the phone. Here in Pittsburgh, we are expecting 4″ of rain and 60mph wind gusts. Downed trees and wires. No electricity for many. The worst storm to hit in 100 years. But we’ll need to find our way here in case someone calls and wants a book job.
Who knows what this storm will bring. Every station says something different. Everyone sent into a panic and out to the grocery stores for toilet paper and water…..and according to my boss…boob jobs.
Book = boob. F’n phone
I love how your phone thinks. BTW, it owes me a new keyboard.
Bikerchick……
Don’t you work for a plastic surgeon?
Boob jobs seems accurate.
I think she was trying to type “blow job”.
shit honey! Git down toon the walart and get a generator, 50 rolls of ass paper (but they come in multiples of…) don’t sass me with your multiples! Bottled water. Aquafiner preferably. Romney noodles, a coleman lantern, some of those hot pocket quesadilla things. Oh! and a boob job.
Is someone comes to your door trick or treating dressed as a Frankenstorm do not give them any candy. Good god man, stay home fer fecks sake.
That Delores film was made by Jacob Young. The same dude who made the Jesco films.
They closed my office for the first time EVER. EVER! Blizzards, ice storms – pffft – no, it took the Wheat Thins spokesperson to shut us down. Most people can work remote anyway, but to see that email come through was pretty friggin’ scary.
Jeff, please find the flying cigarette. You wrote about that once before and I couldn’t stop laughing for days.
Fucking power keeps going on and off. I hate messing around with the generator, And the wind? I’m staring at a weeping willow that’s swaying like Stevie Wonder singing “Superstition”.
“Swaying like Stevie Wonder singing Superstition” – Too effin’ funny!!!
I also pictured Ray Charles doing “What’d I Say”.
Sounds like your brother has a gold mine of material on hand. I’ve got some older tapes still kicking around, always an eye opener/head shaker when they get pulled out.
I went looking for the Janie PSA and found this old gem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=UB7tkDcLT3E
Catchy tune, no?
Hah, I remember that one really well.
Here’s one that stuck with me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmzDLzqQ-A0
I’d also like to see the “Janie Died” psa. Those old psa’s were crafted for maximum impact.
I totally remember that one, too! Too funny.
I don’t remember the VD one, but the smoking one brings back memories! Can you imagine if they still ran them today? The subjects would be limitless!
WHo would have thought a horse could pass along VD? I guess the expression “he’s hung like a horse” takes on a whole new meaning.
Delores scares me, she looks like rodney dangerfield in drag.
Saw her hanging out in a local bar one night, drunk off her ass, dressed up like a $2 hooker. They were having karaoke that night and she got up and started belting out Mack The Knife. At one point, she kicked her leg up high and her shoe flew off and hit a ceiling fan above and was flung clear across the bar. I damn-near shat myself, I was laughing so hard.
I used to record everything. I believe we got our vcr in 1985 around july 4th. I had over a 100 tapes that my mom just threw away while I was in college. Lots of night courts and perfect strangers but also some classic hbo stand up specials.
Robin Williams taught me what an orgasm was.
Howie Mandel, George Carlin, Rodney Dangerfield’s young comedian specials.
Oh and a movie I haven’t seen since 1987 or so, Hamburger the Motion Picture.
I have a friend’s birthday party recorded on VHS from Feb. 1986. It’s really odd when your 48 year old self watches your 21 year old self at a party getting drunker by the minute. The haircuts, the clothes..it’s all looks so cartoonish now. The tape ends with a group of people, sitting on a sectional sofa, singing a Steve Winwood song and passing around a bong. Clearly, I don’t remember that part..
I plan to have copies made to hand out at that same friends 50th birthday next February! When the fuck did we get so old?
I’m in Wyoming headed east on I-80 about 280 miles west of Cheyenne. A big piece of seaweed just hit my windshield. You’re fucked!
The comments are on FIRE tonight!
I taped all sorts of crud in the 90s.. mostly mash episodes and are you being served? episodes..now i just go to YTEpisodes.com and get my fill… I just discovered that website and it’s awesome..they have all sorts of free movies and tv shows..new and classic.
also, you guys might like Shorpy.com.. great website full of old pics.. I’ve seen some of scranton..
thats my schilling for the night.. thought you guys might like em.
In the Delores video, is that Stephen King on bass?
It’s either him or Harold Ramis.
Is everyone safe and sound?
All fine here. Power outages everywhere EXCEPT MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT !!!!
Snowed like a mofo just east of here. I’m sure that Snowshoe is loving the hell out of this, but it’s a real pain in the ass to everyone else.
Break out the video archives, sir. Hope you weathered the storm. We had a patio chair fall over, so now I know how the people in Atlantic City feel.
Woke up to snow this A.M. in K’lumbus, Ahia. Looks like Autumn has dressed up as Winter for Trick-or-Treat! Ugh!
The ‘Sandy Duncan’ hurricane references have totally had me in hysterics today! 🙂
One week people! One week and it’ll all be gloriously over!
Finally…some good news, for a change!
I want to see Venice….as Janie said