I love bonus Saturdays, dropped all willy-nilly. So today feels like Monday, yet tomorrow is Friday already! That’s pretty goddamn sweet, no matter how you slice it. Thanks to all the wig-wearers in 1776 for risking being hanged, etc. so that I might enjoy an additional Saturday in 2018. I’m tearing up…
In all seriousness, how was your holiday? Was it traditional: vast quantities of grilled meats, alcoholic beverages, and fireworks after dark? That pretty much describes ours. For some reason, they’ve loosened up the fireworks laws here, and you can buy real Myrtle Beach-caliber rockets and whatnot, until July 8. So, the boys have been all up in that shit. Last night they were shooting off what looked like WWI mortars. I thought they were going to burn down our house, or the house of a neighbor, but the four or five Centennial IPAs in my great belly took the edge off my… common sense.
I have to return to work today and tomorrow, which felt like a bullshit turn of events as I hoisted my heft off the platform this morning. But now I’m OK with it. I’m excited to bask in the glory of a false Monday. Is that weird? If so, I’m fine with it.
Somebody in the Middle East somehow hijacked my Spotify account yesterday. I received an email saying there was suspicious activity. Then a few minutes later… a notification that my login information had changed. What in the cherry blossom hell?? I immediately emailed them and they took care of it. Some guy with a super-pretentious quote in his signature file (something like ‘painters paint on canvas, but musicians paint on silence’) took the bull by the balls and made sure everything was returned to me. I did a Google search for the email they used, and it returned pages and pages of Arabic text.
Why? Who hacks Spotify? Are they trying to scam somebody out of a few free Eddie Money listens? Seems like high effort for low return, in my opinion. Maybe they were trying to get at my credit card info? Who the hell knows? Mr. Paint On Silence didn’t allow them much opportunity. I have to hand it to them. Nicely done.
The only weird thing I noticed afterward was some unknown musician listed in my favorite artists section. I wish I’d written down his name, but I immediately deleted it. He was some sort of exotic foreigner holding what looked like a zither or some shit. I mean, what the hell?? I feel like I’ve been violated.
I just posted Episode 6 of the world famous Jeff Kay Show, at Patreon. I literally just got it back from the producer dude, five minutes ago. I gave the first 30 seconds a listen and it sounds echoey and odd. Or maybe it’s in my head? That’s certainly possible. In any case, here’s yer link. Enjoy it!
This is the description: In this episode, we discuss the Where Are They Now? issue of Sports Illustrated, frustrations with the Credit Union, my haircut tipping rules, and an update on my attempt to reconnect with baseball. Some characters who appear in this one: Johnny Bench, Mr. Jeffreys, Chip Malfunction, and a girl with one fearless breast.
And I need to get going, boys and girls. I’m gonna wolf down half a Domino’s pizza, and navigate the Devil’s parkway. Wish me luck with both those things, won’t you? Hopefully, I won’t shit myself near the Throop exit and go cartwheeling across the median.
For a Question, I’d like to know which famous tourist destinations you have no interest in visiting. One that immediately jumps to my mind is Australia. I know that might be considered an odd choice, but it seems hot to me. Exceedingly hot with a lot of deadly animals and insects roaming around. I could be wrong about this, but I think even the cats and dogs are venomous in Australia. I’m sure there are beautiful parts of it, so I might be completely misguided. But that’s my contribution. What’s yours? Use the comments link.
And I’ll see you guys again on Monday.
Have a great second weekend!
Now playing in the bunker
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I have zero interest in visiting the Taj Mahal. Absolutely zero, for many of the same reasons as you, Jeff, have no interest in Australia.
Me too. India holds no attraction, though I know some folks dream of visiting.
I really have no desire to go to New Orleans – I could probably only handle about an hour or so of the debauchery. I’ve been to Australia and it was beautiful but I could barely take the heat – I was there in their summer though. Celebrated July 1 at a party in town and may have tipped back a few too many – still big fun though!!
I have zero interest in visiting anything even vaguely connected with Disney. High prices, huge crowds, forced happiness? Eff dat. Same thing goes for amusement parks of any kind, “destination” malls, and most sporting events or giant outdoor gatherings like fireworks displays or fairs and carnivals. I’ve really gotten to a point in my life where being in the presence of more than 10 or 15 people sets me on edge. My scarce vacation hours tend to be spent in small railroad junction towns nobody outside of the railfanning hobby has ever heard of, or kicking around local estate sales.
I am completely with you on the false Monday joy! And considering the fact that I actually have the weekend off, I am pretty pumped!
I have no desire to visit anywhere in California OR New York City (exception: I’d like to see the Statue of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial). No thank ya.
No desire to visit Alaska or Mejico. One I will pay 15 dollars for a Big Mac, the other, I will probably be killed upon entry.
My debit card got hacked by someone in Cypress of all places. Had to wait two weeks for a replacement card to get money out.
I worked at two jobs on the 4th. First job was insanely busy. Second was a ghost town and it was suggested that I leave early. I clocked out immediately and ran for the door. Watched redneck fireworks on the other side of the interstate, on our balcony, with GF.
No traffic, no parking. No crowds. A good evening.
I would not go to Disney or places like that. It’s just something we never did when I was a kid.
You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?
Meh – that’s how it was. These days that’s how everything seems. I probably need medication.
For the same reasons of several comments above, NYC, New Orleans and Australia are definitely out of the question. Disney too, for that matter! Boring old museums and historical places are more my speed. Better yet, I think it would be great fun to buy an RV and travel around the whole continental U.S.A. No plans or itinerary, just hop in my Winnebago and go!
The RV thing is my entire retirement plan. But replace RV with hotels. I have no desire to pump my own poop into a communal cesspit.
Getting picky in my old age.
The only way I’d go to a Disney resort is if I won a prize and even then I’d try to sell the package on ebay. Same with a cruise. Especially one of those e-coli fleets.
Went to the beach yesterday and the water was perfection. Came home, made a nice dinner (baby back ribs and cole slaw!) I heard a lot of things getting blown up but didn’t have the pleasure of seeing anything pretty.
I still have both my hands! I can attest to the potency of the newly legal fireworks in PA 🙂 Marked the 4th with some treasonous colonists and some fellow Brits.
I can’t think of anywhere that is considered a tourist destination that I’ve not been to that I would dismiss without actually experiencing it firsthand. Missouri and Syria are not tourist destinations. I can think of a few places I won’t hurry back to…
I can see the fireworks at a state park from my Lair. Good enough.
IF I go to hell, it won’t be me engulfed in flames for eternity, it will be me
walking endless circles through a fucking mall.
It was the best 4th I’ve had in years. Went to two parties, heard a decent pickup band play for a couple of hours, saw some amateur fireworks in a parking lot, spent some top-notch time with the new GF, went to work today on two hours’ sleep. All around excellence.
Places I won’t be visiting include all the Disney properties, as well as Graceland and the like.
. . . but what is like Graceland? At what other national shrine did Jerry Lee Lewis empty his pistol?
.
For reasons I cannot explain
There’s some part of me wants to see Graceland
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there’s no obligations now
Maybe I’ve a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland
.
John
. . . And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow
A great song from a great album by a great artist. I heard he doesn’t mind if you call him Al.
Isn’t this hilarious? I actually invested time trying to get tickets to the very last show. By 10:00:00001 they were gone except for general admission. That probably got you a spot on a subway platform in Jamaica, Queens.
I’m pretty open to traveling anywhere except for Dubai, if we are talking strictly vacation destinations. I have a friend that just moved there for a job, but there is absolutely nothing there that appeals to me as a travel destination, let alone live there. Seems like Vegas without the copious alcohol and gambling. What the point? I can fly to Vegas roundtrip for $120 and spend a fraction of the money, instead of flying halfway across the planet. It’s also all new buildings without any substance or history. Maybe for some people it’s fun, just not for me.
Couldn’t care less for Disney, but I do have a nostalgia for Six Flags Over Georgia, our go-to theme park when I was a kid. I don’t think I could handle being slung around violently anymore though, as nowadays my body parts, inner and outer, are not attached as securely as they used to be.
I am enjoying the podcasts. It has a loose and conversational feel, which I’m sure is not as easy as it sounds. Highly recommended to any readers here who haven’t checked it out.
If we’re talking ‘tourist destinations,’ then really only India and China come to mind as eschewables. While I don’t care for crowds much, I could tolerate them in order to visit venerable spots, as long as they’re clean-ish and not over-run by monkeys or other wild animals. I love NYC, even with the crowds, and enjoyed New Orleans (at night, do NOT wander the streets on a hot summer morning, because PEE YOO!), and would go to Australia (preferably New Zealand though) if given a ticket to go.
I figure I should probably see at least all the lower 48 states before I’m too old, though some might say I’ve reached that mark already.
…as long as they’re clean-ish and not over-run by monkeys or other wild animals…
Ditto!!
So many places that I would rather peel off my skin and roll around in salt than visit
Branson MO
Dollywood
Disney anything
Mexico or any place else where drinking water, ice and fruit is dangerous
Asia
Hawaii
India
most of South America
most of the Caribbean
places I want to visit
Moscow/ St. Petersburg and the trans-Siberian railway
More of the UK
Ireland
Can’t stand the East Coast or the West Coast, they both suck.
Ditto on Ditney Whirl, and places with cockroaches and snakes
Same here brother. FEA