Hello Surf Reporters! I hope everyone had a pleasant holiday. Ours was nice, which isn’t always a given around here. Oh, it can go either way… But Christmas 2012 turned out to be enjoyable.
I worked on Monday night until 8, and it was snowing pretty heavily as I drove home. Cool. A genuine white Christmas is super-rare, but we got one this year. I could feel the tiniest bit of holiday spirit building up inside me, while navigating the Devil’s Parkway.
Toney had a big spread of food on the dining room table when I arrived, plus a Saranac winter sampler and six Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ales in the downstairs fridge.
I started with the Dogfish, which might very well be my favorite fancy-ass beer. Sweet sainted mother of Dr. Roy Hinkley, that shit is good! Then I ingested two large pulled pork sandwiches, made with Jack Daniels bourbon, and everything was moving in the right direction.
The boys went to bed early, and Toney wasn’t too far behind them. I stayed up and polished off my three Dogfish Heads, plus a porter from the Saranac sampler, and eventually called it a night, as well.
The younger hooligan shook me awake at 5:45 the next morning, and for a few seconds I didn’t know what was happening. I was clear-cutting timber, and experiencing the kind of sleep I call Death Lite. But I got my bearings, farted 14 times in a row, and went downstairs.
Toney and I don’t really exchange gifts anymore, because money is always tight and we put everything toward the kids. But I got her something small, which she seemed to like. And she got me the Replacements documentary, which excited me.
And the boys seemed to genuinely be happy with their haul, which is a big part of the whole Christmas exercise. The older hooligan got yet another electric guitar which he’d been wanting, and the younger one got a new bike. You know, and a bunch other stuff.
Toney made breakfast, and by 10 a.m. I was bored shitless. This was going to be a long day. The boys were off with their guitars and new video games. etc., but I was just sitting in a chair, slightly sleep-deprived, and not able to move. I’d already talked to my parents and brother, and it looked like it was just going to be sitting and staring straight ahead for the next 12 hours.
I suggested to Toney that the two of us go to a movie, maybe to see This Is 40. The boys wouldn’t even notice we were gone, and it would get us out of the house for a while.
It took some convincing, but she eventually agreed. And we had a great time. The movie is really good and funny, and features two of my heros: Graham Parker and Phil Hendrie. We enjoyed the hell out of it. I’m glad we went: a rare wise decision.
And last night we had a big traditional Christmas dinner, I cleaned up (it sucked ass), and all four of us watched The Campaign, on-demand. It was also funny. I abstained from beer, because I need to get this book project finished, but that’s OK. I had ice cream instead.
And that brings you up to date on our Christmas this year. It was pretty great. How was yours? Please tell us about it in the comments section below.
Starting tomorrow… guest posts. All will be from folks who have never written a Surf Report update before, so you won’t want to miss it. I’ve got some great stuff in the queue.
And, needless to say, if you received an Amazon gift card for Christmas, remember to click-through our links before cashing that baby in. Here’s a good one to use. It’s much appreciated, as always.
Wish me luck on this book. Good god. I’ll see you guys again on Monday.
Happy holidays, my friends!
Now playing in the bunker
Do your holiday shopping at Amazon: US and Canada
Swami Bologna says
Ho, Ho, Ho.
I always think of my ex wife and her sisters when i hear that.
Joey Jo Jo says
Merry Christmas! I bowed out of family shit by pretending sick – I went to the Eve, stayed home the Day. Watched TV and surfed the net. No stress. Merry Christmas to me!
my name is....ted says
first. From the pooper at work.
One time I let a goat lick my penis.
Also, I’m going to need details on the axes of the older secret.
WB in OH says
We had Christmas on Sunday, it was a good time but as usual I got screwed in the gift exchange.
Christmas Eve was a drunken mess.
Christmas Day I got up and went out in search of a loaf of bread, denied. I would have thought a 24 hour gas station with convenience store would stock bread and I would be wrong. Why no bread? See above. But my sister had me over for lunch, roast beast, mashed taters and what not. Then hit a few friends open houses and called it a day.
Beautiful weather here in the middle western portion of the buckeye state. I came to work to collect some work, make sure I get paid for the holiday then I’m bugging out. Get to find a loaf of bread.
WB in OH says
get got fuck…
Wife bought me luggage…should I be concerned?
One year I got a suitcase and a bus ticket.
And thank you for the Asleep at the Wheel; a fine band that too few people know about. They do a kick-ass cover of Count Basie’s One O’clock Jump, among other things.
Christmas is on hold until tomorrow, ah the delights of shared custody. For the actual day, we lounged, cleared out a bunch of stuff that’d been collecting on the DVR, and finally around seven, had tamales, eggs and beans.
Merry Christmas, Surf Reporters!
What’s the deal with Christmas tamales? I’d not heard of it before a year or so ago.
It’s a traditional Mexican-American thing. They are a pain in the ass to make, so the holidays make it an appropriate time.
Plus, they’re tasty.
I love tamales.
For the past few years my wife has gone to a friends house to make tamales. Every year more people go and help, so more are made.
That means that every year I get a dozen more tamales than the previous year. It’s a Mexican Christams miracle.
Very very low-key. Gifts, phone calls, hanging around, sushi, then a stained glass project. This is what empty-nesting Christmases look like. Not to worry though, as the Things arrive here to day, then we pack up the rodeo and go to Grandma’s tomorrow for the Big Show. Sure hope it stops raining by then, and that we don’t get the predicted tornadoes. Sheesh!
Patty (In Cleveland) says
Snow just started here in Cleveland. We are bugging out early before the hard stuff hits. Stay safe everyone
I drove from Marietta to Cleveland today. What should have been 2.5 hrs took 6.
We had a blowout. Bikes, computers, American Girl dolls (holy shit) and things like that.
I haven’t stopped eating since November.
T. Farty McAppleass says
Hey, did anyone eat goose? We were gonna but I couldn’t find one. Does anyone actually eat goose at Christmas time?
Lucie in Tampa says
Had one like 27 years ago… Mom wanted a “non- traditional” dinner… we wound up eating Chinese take out.
Yes.Had one flown in (FedEx. It wasn’t a homing goose) from a friend’s farm in Oregon.
Not much here. Mum being in the hospital, me gimping up a leg/knee the day before, its a year end to forget.
Lucie in Tampa says
Worked on Christmas Eve (what a joke so slow cuz everyone else in my industry was off) were moving so no tree, no decorations. I admit I liked it. Bought my kid 3 Dr. Who posters, a video rocker chair & new Black Ops. We then went to the in-laws for Christmas day & ate tons, no cooking no cleaning & no gifts (everyone knew we were moving and low on cash) so YAY!!!! came home early & watched TV & fell asleep…. beautiful day… now this next weekend is a 4 day so I will finish the move (ughhhh) & that is a great way to ring n the new year, better home & fresh start.
TWO seperate dinners on Christmas Day, one with friends, the other with relatives. By 7:00pm, I could hardly walk. Note of caution: Don’t ever, ever do this! You’ll be miserable! Went home and hit the rack. Good thing was, I didn’t have to cook or clean up. Just eat and leave. New Year’s Eve plans: NONE, intentionally, and that’s the way I like it. I don’t venture out on ameteur night. Besides, I have to work the next day.
Low key here, too. Four of us for dinner (cioppino), sat around and shot the shit, took a walk in the forest while the rain let up for a bit, made a plethora of phone calls to the family/friends back in the US and was in bed by 10.
Today – I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas.
Glad it’s over.
Went to the zoo that is the bf’s parents Christmas Eve afternoon. A million screaming parents yelling at their rotten kids. You can’t have a normal conversation. Stayed as long as we could stand then left to go to a friends Italian 7 fishes feast. We usually have a big Christmas Eve party, but since we are remodeling the kitchen, it was out of the question this year. The house is such a mess from the work, I didn’t even put decorations up. So it was nice to be the “guests”. The food was fabulous. We were fat and happy to be back home on the couch before 11PM.
We stayed home Christmas Day. I cooked a dinner for two of beef tenderloin and the fixin’s. We ended the night by watching Bad Santa and Christmas Vacation.
We watched The Campaign a few weeks ago. LOL funny!! Only second to Horrible Bosses.
Lots of snow up here but I grilled a couple racks of ribs…baby backs. Slow cooked for 3 hours. We drank hot apple cider and rum. Beers of course too. This morning I looked like Nick Nolte’s mug shot. Bev likes her Kindle a bunch.She was suprised. Loved the thought. She bought “Crossrosd Road” at my mention. I asked her to get me a certain book for me and she said…,”Get your own fucking Kindle”.
I found a chrome yellow FLX in the garage with a big red bow on it. A bottle of Petron Reposado in my stocking. Kids loved their toys and left me alone all day. Perfect.
mom went tits up dec 6
used that as excuse to stay away from everyone
am grinchy anyway
buddy brought food
perfect christmas for me, except for the mom thing
That sucks. I’m sorry.
Very low key here. The X and I made dinner for each other on Sunday and Tuesday. She made a leg o’ lamb, I made a standing rib roast. Phoned the ‘rents and sibs. My mom sent me a tube of toofpaste … TF?
Phil Jett says
Made a big dinner…turkey (fried) and ham (daughter and sister don’t do ham). Hour before dinner mom and sister both called in sick with the flu. Tons of food for me, the wife and daughter. Except for all the cooking I did, it was pretty pleasant. Sat and watched daughter play new video games.
Son and his girlfriend came over in the evening after being at her family…too stuffed to eat any of our leftovers.
Working tonight and next five nights, twelve hours each. I guess I know what I will be eating.
Lori in Cbus says
no family here (brother lives in collyrado) so i went to with my old roommate to his sisters house.. ate like a pig and went home..
ive enjoyed every holiday since the Divorce.. NO MORE IN LAWS!
i treated myself to a 60 inch tv with surround sound bluray (from a 26 inch).. i think my retinas burned out haha
I havent spent big money in 5 years so what the hell, right? I figured if the apocalypse ever comes, i’ll surf on it down the lava flows
lori…..I know the feeding of burning retina’s. My couch is just a few feet from our BAT. My eyeballs look like those cartoon pinwheels when too much lounging has been done! Congrats on the new purchase. Enjoy!
We went to my parents’ for Christmas Eve and had a great supper and exchanged gifts with them, brother, and sister-in-law. Christmas morning the preschooler got us up at the crack of dawn and we marveled at what Santa brought. It poured rain, and we were under a tornado watch most of the day. We had lunch with the extended family, and then came home and watched the munchkin play with his toys. Husband got me Avett Brothers cds, I got him the newly released Waylon Jennings cd. Next weekend we get to do Christmas with the in laws. Yippee.
I guess I’ll get a new Mayan calander even though the last one they came up with wasn’t worth a fuck.
Be careful. I had a 2012 Mayan digital calendar, and the fucker stopped running last week. Make sure you have enough calendar capacity to last to the Hubbert Peak, which should happen any day now.
The Divine Miss E says
My sister woke up sick on Christmas Eve and coughed all day, so naturally, I woke up sick on Christmas Day. I appreciated the delayed launch, since our Big Family Christmas is on the Eve. I went to bed at 9 on Christmas Day, and mainlined NyQuil for 36 hours straight. I just woke up about an hour ago. Still feel a little “Is this real life?” and my ribcage hurts from coughing, but I’ll live.
Best Christmas ever. I can’t even remember what I got.