Hello Surf Reporters! I hope you guys had a pleasant Christmas. I’d rate mine a solid B+. Nothing overly exciting, but calm and relaxing. And at this point I put a premium on calm and relaxing.
I worked until 7:30 on Christmas Eve, and when I got home there was a full spread of food on the dining room table, and Sierra Nevada Celebration in the fridge. Everybody was in a reasonably good mood, and it was nice: the four of us together, and Andy (The Snout of Truth) begging for whatever food happened to be in play. You know, the way the universe intended it to be.
Toney and the boys turned in around 12:30, and I stayed up for another hour or so. Then, at 5 a.m., the younger boy was shaking me awake.
“What’s the matter?” I shouted. “What’s happened?!”
“It’s Christmas,” he said.
Oh yeah, that’s right. I looked at the clock.
“It’s 4:58! Are you on acid?!”
He thought that was funny, although I wasn’t really joking. I’d been asleep about three hours, and my brain was expanding and contracting inside its housing. But I dragged my big doughy ass out of bed, and joined everyone in the living room.
“Seriously?” I said. But Toney shot me a look that said ‘don’t be a dick.’ So, I rolled with it.
The boys opened all their stuff, I started mainlining coffee, and still couldn’t wake up. Around 7:30 I called my parents, spoke to them for a little while, then considered going back to bed. But I thought I’d better help the younger youngling set up his new stereo first. It would be cruel to make him wait until I had my Nossy-nap.
There was a perfect shelf in the garage, and I went and grabbed it. It was filthy, so the two of us cleaned it up. Then we carried it to his room, and hooked up his new receiver, turntable, and speakers. We tested it out with one of my old CCR albums, and it sounded fantastic. Success! And I could tell he loved it, which made me feel happy.
Now I was free to go back to bed, which I did: for four hours.
When I got up I felt a million times better, and we all just hung out like lazy sacks for the rest of the day — grazing continuously. I did a little work on my so-called book in the afternoon, and it was a nice, stress-free day.
The older boy got a fancy new smartphone, which is crazy-fast. I like my Droid Bionic, but it’s almost two years old. The speed has clearly improved in that time. I can upgrade in March, and I’m looking forward to it. Now that I’ve seen it, I crave the crazy-fast.
Nothing too spectacular happened, but it was actual family time — without the arguing, complaining, and impossible schedules. The younger hooligan was blasting my old albums all day — including Raw Power, again and again. He’s loving it, and it makes me feel good in my soul.
How was your day? Please tell us about it in the comments, and also assign it a letter grade if you’d like.
I have to return to work today, so it’s all about to come crashing down — this illusion of calm. I have real “issues” there, but don’t want to bum anyone out. I’ll whine about it at a later date.
If you’re still buying stuff from Amazon, please remember to use our links. We’re within striking distance of the best December yet, and I’d love to break the record. So, please don’t forget. It’s just a couple of extra clicks, and makes a HUGE difference.
And remember those t-shirts from a million years ago? They will finally be in the works next week. Unless there are further problems, which I don’t foresee. I apologize for this debacle, and could make excuses, but won’t. Needless to say, however, these will be the last shirts I ever offer. It’s been a goddamn nightmare. Thank you guys for being so patient.
I’ll see you next time.
Now playing in the bunker
Do your holiday shopping at Amazon!
Here’s the link for our Canadian friends
Billy Joel says
I just loved Jimmie Walker on Sanford and Son!
Billy Joel says
I’m trying to stray away from bieng ‘political’ here, but when did Jimmie Walker marry Ann Coulter? Did I miss out on that little nugget of pop culture?
My Christmas was great. A+
My wife is visiting her parents two states and a Texas away.
So it was just me and my beagle.
We slept until about nine in the morning.
I got up and played Oblivion on PS3 for about 5 hours.
Built a guitar effect pedal.
Then I ate a frozen burrito and a bag of mini-powdered donuts. AKA – The Dinner of champions.
I didn’t interact with any human all day. The closest thing that came to it was that I “Like” a Facebook post from some asshole called The West Virginia Surf Report.
Oh, I also watched “MST3K: I Accuse My Parents”.
It’s now my favorite MST3K episode.
“Brought to you by Boone’s Farm.”
The 4th Stooge says
“Are you happy in your work?”
Nothing. but nothing can compare with the utter stupidity of Jimmy…
We are up before our spawn, even on Christmas, so that’s nice, not being rousted by shrieking and bouncing children. This year was 90% kid gifts, so that left me with coffee and the camera. I’m good with that. We’re having in-law Christmas today, so fancy dinner is today, yesterday was fancy sandwiches for dinner, which I could really turn into a tradition, no fuss, no mess, no leftovers. Overall, I’d give it a B+.
I think my flip phone is still fast enough, because it processes all my words and sends them out, even when I’m talking as fast as I can.
Everyone know phones aren’t for talking. They’re for ignoring people around you.
And I agree with Jeff, I want to ignore the people around me a fast as possible.
I’ve heard it called “phubbing”, as in “phone snubbing”.
C-. Writing this from Holland. All the shops are closed here. Survived on stale bread and Heineken. Looking forward to tomorrow morning.
I’ll give this Christmas an a-. The minus is because my sister’s cat died yesterday morning. But the day was glorious. Dinner was spectacular. All in all a lovely day. Except for mookie’s demise. Poor critter.
We had our annual Christmas Eve open house. Why is it everyone arrives all at once. It was a mad house. And even though I had ample time to prepare, I was still thrown off by it. Of course my boyfriend was half in the bag while everyonebwas coming in so he was completely useless after a certain point. I was up until 5AM Christmas Day with my bf’s sister and neice. I crashed and slept the entire day away. We were exhausted from getting the house ready. A wood floor in the livingroom and painting walls. Up until three days ago, I had my livingroom in my diningroom!
Then I find out one of my guests had their car egged and smeared with ketchup and mustard Christmas Eve while they were here. I guess she was parked in front of someone’s house and they were pissed. Really?!?! Fucking asshole!! Christmas Eve night you pull this shit!?!? My friend couldn’t remember the exact house, but if and when I find out they will have more than eggs, ketchup and mustard to clean off their front door.. Game’s on bitch….
Holy shit! I would think the vinegar in the mustard would wreak havoc on the paint. Bastards.
son of sam says
yinzers being yinzers huh?
Ha! Yeah. A little too yinzer. More like a fuckin’ jagoff.
I had heard that “he knows if yinz been jagoffs.” Maybe not.
Bill in WV says
Nice play there!
Rachael Smith says
Sheesh, for women I think this happens to us all. By Christmas morning the stress and preparation take such a toll that I just want to get some z’s. Or, like this year, I become deathly ill on Christmas Eve and cant even enjoy the fruits of my labor! Lol! But, when my little one goes nuts over everything Santa brought, I can shiver w fever in the corner of the couch with a grin from ear to ear!
I keep forgetting to link to Amazon thru your site so – here, have a few beers; On me. And Merry Christmas Jeff!
Mine was OK; I’ll give it a B. Talked with my parents, talked with Regular Brother, left a voicemail for Hermit Brother.
Now eating leftover ham and pierogies. Man, that’s good.
Phil Jett says
First Christmas without the son, he spent the holidays with his fiance’s family. Daughter is nineteen now so there is nothing special going on at the house. Worked 12 hours both Christmas eve night and Christmas night and I get to work New Years Eve and New Years day for 12 hours each with a co-worker that is a total bitch.
Since I do get double time those days and will be able to pay off everything we bought in the last month I will give it a C.
Lori in Cbus says
My Christmas was good. spent it with friends that i picked to be family.. (they kinda adopted me anyway)..
Today at work, it was slow so i decided to look up how much a plane ticket would cost to see my brother and new nephew in denver in april.. well i got on expedia.com and found the perfect flight (times, layover) for 54.92.. $10 bucks for the flight and 44 for the taxes/fees. i bought it and found out later in the day that it was a delta airlines glitch. So merry christmas to me and thanks Delta! This kinda crap never happens to me and now it has
Looks like you timed it just right. Have a nice trip.
Billy Joel says
Daggumit, that is like winning a lottery!
Joe T. says
Solid B. I was constipated for most of it.
The Qweezy Mark says
Awwww, you’re full of shit!
He did say “solid.”
Rick in the UK says
For the first time ever, no family arguments or tantrums during the holidays. Downside, getting divorced in 2014, so likely to be the last proper family xmas. Shit happens. I’ll still give it an A.
The Divine Miss E says
B+, only because I had to work (retail, ugh) until 8:00 Christmas Eve and miss about four hours of the family get-together, so that was pretty unpleasant, to say the least. But once I got there and got a stiff drink in my hand, things started to look up. Christmas Day I slept in, we had a very expensive prime rib roast for dinner, and I was pretty spoiled gift-wise. That was a much better day. Plus, nobody argued.
Then, naturally, the day after Christmas I came down with a cold. There has to be balance in the universe.
Christmas was an A+ for me. The lady friend was away so I had an entire day of quiet enjoying the 80 degree sunny day.
Jeff, your Amazon link brought UPS to its knees!
Predicted it would blow and it did. On our way home this morning. We’ve charted a route around Memphis construction and should be home by dark…..if it
doesn’t start raining.
Rachael Smith says
Jeff, Im so very happy to hear about a nice lazy xmas for u and urs. Sounds like the perfect xmas day to me. Sorry to switch to t-shirt mode, but Ive been dying for a wvsr shirt but I really need a “female shaped” t-shirt. I vaguely remember some time ago that you said they were too expensive to make. I do think more of us gals would buy them if they fit us. Pretty please consider it :'(
OK, none of my biz, but should Jeff order “female shaped” shirts because he’s become a dick since moving to PA (as you noted in last week’s post), or because Melissa (who is definitely female shaped) looked so damn good as a model for the last set of shirts?
The man is standing on a loose rock overhanging a Butch Cassidy sized cliff with his Kafkaesque job, two teenaged boys who want to go to college, not enough dough for a serious vacation, and a commute that would give Evel Knievel a case of the blind staggers. To say nothing about the folks who keep, probably rightfully, asking him, “Where’s my fucking shirt?”
I’ll assume you don’t know the shirt history, and that you just worded the condemnation of his PA personality badly last week. I wish you a joyous new year.
Rachael Smith says
I dont know Jeff before PA, but I have been on this site for years and he seems more and more depressed and miserable every year. Isnt that what you meant by saying hes standing on a loose rock, etc? I never said he was a dick, I just think hes unhappy and I have lots of people in PA and they have the same attitude. As for the shirts I just thought I was asking a simple question. If Jeff never wanted to deal with shirts again I wouldnt blame him. Have I explained myself to your satisfaction “basket”?
Mine was a solid B. Went to a friend’s home for the first time – which turned out to be a giant 200 year old villa in Livorno. I had no idea.
Grazed all day, took the dogs for a walk on the grounds, played Tombala (Italian bingo) while drunk. Quite fun, actually. Stress free and wine filled – just the way I like it.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, etc. etc. to all you Surf Reporters and to you, Mr. Kay and your fambly.