In all my adult life I’ve never really had to “dress up” for work. I spent more than 20 years in the music industry where even the bigshots arrived at the office in cargo shorts and Hawaiian shirts, or whatever the hell. It was a situation where a person would be publicly mocked if they wore khakis and a button-down shirt to work. Oh, there would be ridicule, my friends.
My current situation is similar. Jeans and a reasonable shirt and shoes is the way we roll there. So, despite working in offices for large corporations since the beginning of time, I’ve somehow managed to dodge the fancy-pants bullet. Pretty cool, huh?
However… a guy said something a few nights ago that caused me to doubt myself. He said he owns about 60 pairs of jeans, and rotates through them. Meaning, he wears ’em in a specific order somehow. I don’t know if he has a schematic, or possibly a complicated Excel spreadsheet with pivot table? He didn’t elaborate, and it doesn’t really matter. The part that caught my attention was 60 pairs of jeans. Holy shitbubble! Is that normal?? ‘Cause if it is, I’m doing it radically wrong.
I have four pairs of wearable jeans at the moment. I probably should buy one more, to cover an entire workweek, but that’s a different subject for a different day. I’m nowhere near 60, and feel mildly unsure of myself now. Should I be closer to 60? If so, where would I keep them? We might have to add on to the house. And I don’t wear my pants in a specific order, either. Am I a barbarian?
How many pairs of wearable jeans do you own? I’m not talking about the ones that no longer fit or have the entire ass blown out of them. I have many that fall into that category. In fact, I have a couple of pairs that exploded in the ass region, and a large swath of denim just disappeared. It’s gone! What the hell, man?
In any case, I’d like to know how many usable pairs of jeans you currently own. Please use the comments section to hopefully make me feel better. And… if you’re forced to fancy-pants it at work, how many of those do you own? More would be required, I know. But how many more? Please bring us up to date on it.
I remember years ago I was reading a zine and the author listed the approximate number of pants, shirts, shoes, underwear and socks he owned. (Zines were awesome.) Everything seemed reasonable, except the underwear and socks. I think he said he had 50 pairs of underwear in current rotation, and something like 100 pairs of socks. Both numbers seemed shockingly high to me. And, once again, I felt like I must be doing it all wrong.
I do currently own an inordinate amount of underwear, but only because I experienced an aging-related crisis in that department and had to go on a frantic search for a better solution. But I don’t want to get into that right now. It’s nearly lunch time, and nobody needs their appetite destroyed.
Speaking of shoes, I noticed Toney putting on her sneakers this morning, and gasped. She actually put on her left sock, then her left shoe. Followed by the right sock, and the right shoe. How is this possible?? I’m strictly a left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe kind of guy. It has to go in that order. I asked if she at least does it left foot first, and she said no. The order doesn’t matter, she claims. Wow! We’ve been together for 25 years, and I’m still learning. I had no idea my wife subscribes to full-on footwear anarchy. Do you have anything on this? I’m amazed. Both shocked and amazed.
And I’m calling it a day, boys and girls. I hope you guys have a great weekend.
See you again soon!
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2 pairs of jeans, so there’s always a clean pair. I wear my jeans more than once, is that odd?! 3 or 4 pairs of fancy pants. I work for myself, from home, so I’m normally wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. I don’t have to wear shoes 95% of the time, and that is fine with me.
I own 2 pairs of usable jeans. I have uniforms for work but I’m too fat to fit into my tan pants, so I own one pair of Haggar stretch band pants for work. One pair, washed weekly or more if I get a stain on them. I don’t own much clothes and the reason is simple; I am under constant delusion that I will lose the 70 pounds someday and fit into all the clothes that are packed into a big box.
I have a large walk-in closet and there is no way 60 pairs of jeans would fit in it. Good God!
I own two pairs of jeans, and three pairs of dress pants. I don’t have the money or the patience to deal with any more laundry.
No jeans. None.
I wear stretchy pants. Life’s too short to have your midsection strangled.
6 pairs of jeans, 3 pairs of slacks, 1 suite—just in case.
Four pairs of jeans, two pairs of khakis, one black pair of dressy black pants. Three dressy blouses, two white blouses, and some long-sleeved tops. Not much for a female (I hate shopping).
Two pair jeans, two pair cargo khakis, unknown number of dress khakis. I buy replacements only when the old timers wear out, on line if possible. Sweatshirts, summer fishing shirts and long sleeve t’s fill out the bureau. I consider my lack of fashion a virtue, mixing and matching to maintain comfort at minimum cost.
Putting on the left sock, left shoe, right sock, right shoe…? Get rid of the socks and the process auto-aligns.
3 pair of wearable jeans, 5 pair of fancy pants.
All in the Family had a scene where Archie was giving Mike shit about the sock, shoe, sock shoe method rather than the sock, sock, shoe shoe method.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prRtcQz8Uqk
I remember that one Joe. I just posted the same without reading the previous posts. Damn.
That scene is friggin’ beautiful! 4 on the jeans. I dress for work so lotsa that other stuff.
I immediately went to look for the Mike and Archie scene when I read Jeff’s post… I remember laughing hysterically when I first saw it!
As my age increased and my health declined, I gave up the jeans and went the old-lady stretchy pants route. I owned three pair that were really starting to fall apart, until I found a brand that has sizes that by-god fit me! At a reasonable price! At 4’11”, 200+ pounds(yes, I’m a tub-o-lard now) that is next to a miracle. So I bought one of damn near every color they had. So now I have 11 pairs of actual wearable pants, (and half-a-dozen shorts for summer)and that’s a record for me. Underwear is usually 12-15. Socks, I have a shit-ton of the warm fuzzy kind, cause my old-lady feet hate winter cold. Summers it’s bare feet all the way. Only wear shoes when I have to leave the house. Even in my younger, active days, I never had more than maybe 4-5 pairs of jeans and 3-4 nice dress slacks. Haven’t worn dresses-skirts since high school when we had to. Can’t imagine 60 pairs of anything! Why in hell?!
5 pair of jeans that are suitable for going to work. 3 pair of Khaki Chino’s (the label says Chino’s, they look like cargo pants to me). Zero dress pants. Jeans, Shirt and work boots guy here.
That 60 pair guy must subscribe to the never wash denim bullshit.
I have about 8 pairs of jeans, two of which are “yard work only”. I must wear khakis to work, so I have about 8-10 pairs of those, some of which are constantly in need of replacing. Maybe 15 pairs of underwear and the same of socks. 60 or 100 of anything is batshit crazy unless its beer or pizza. And I am definitely “left sock, right sock, left shoe, right shoe. Always. I remember All in the Family had an episode where Archie and Mike debated this. Classic.
3 pairs “in rotation” – meaning I wear a pair for about a week then swap to the next. This may vary a bit if it is very hot. There are some pairs that don’t mix well with hot weather. 2-4 pairs that are “special occasion” only. Meaning that I reserve these for events requiring a higher class style. Some of these are over a decade-old and are most decidedly out of fashion. These I usually wear once and then put it back in the drawer so probably have been several years since they’ve been washed. Should probably pull them all out and wash them at once to be on the safe side now that you’ve made me think about it.
I think I have 2 wearable pairs of jeans. I’m constantly telling myself that I’ll be back down to the size where I have 6 pairs to rotate through…but…2 kids and lots of pizza & beer later, I’m not so sure.
Wow… I’m a little higher maintenance. I probably have about 25 pair of jeans. As far as slacks for work it is somewhere around 15 as well. Then maybe 10 suits. Lots of underwear, socks, undershirts, t-shirts and probably 20 pair of shorts for the summer. Last year I went to Europe for a month and didn’t ever wear the same thing twice. Most of this build-up occurred when I only had my house keeper every other week, but it seems like I don’t need as much now that she comes weekly. When I went on vacation last year I did realize I didn’t have a months supply of casual white socks so I had to buy some more before I left. I now have an entire drawer full of white socks that can last me a month or so.
Four jeans four chef pants no undies. That’s how I roll. No socks ever. I do live in Sodom and Gomorrah (sp.?) however. Most Floriduh residents wear flip flops.
I don’t think I’ve ever owned more than two pair of wearable jeans at a time.
And I still go old school where I buy dark blue, stiff-as-cardboard Levi’s and wear them until there’s either structural failure or I get fatter.
I also read somewhere that for the best broken in fit you have to minimize washing. So I wear one pair for months (never more than about 3-4 hours at a time) before washing. The second pair stays as a reserve for when the first pair wears out or is in the laundry.
I own a few pairs of cargo shorts and one pair of fancy pants and a couple of suits for church and church related functions.
Now that I wear scrubs to work every day I’ve gotten to the point that jeans feel uncomfortable. If it doesn’t have a drawstring waist I feel confined and abraided. All my shorts have drawstrings.
As for sock, and drawers I’ve never counted. I have enough that I don’t have to panic if I haven’t done laundry in the last 5 days and when folded they fit in my dresser without overflow, so I figure it’s the right amount.
Due to our sudden move last year from Arkansas (big house) to South Carolina (little house) I gave all my clothes away. I spend my time at the barn and the way I ride, huh huh, I need Jodhpurs. Those bastards are expensive so I fake it with yoga pants from Walmart. 3 pairs of jeans.
Back in the day, I noticed I put my mascara on right eye, left eye. I freaked when I went for the left eye first and pondered it the rest of the day. I also discovered that if I jammed the mascara brush in my eye it was gonna be a bad day. Hell one day I only made up one eye!! That was life in the ’80’s, funny I can remember that.
I can tell you with some certainty that my neighbor has more tubes of mascara than I have pairs of jeans, but he has more money than I do. He’s just a singer in a rock and roll band and I swear I’ve seen him perform in Jodhpurs.
jtb
5 new ones (buy them twice a year)
5 old ones (the faded ones)
I buy Wrangler – and they don’t last as long as they use to.
I recently went through a whole thing about how to keep the jeans from fading. Which includes turning them inside out, not drying them, etc.
I have one pair of jeans, and I know I’ve worn them at least once. Jeans are generally just not comfortable for me these days. I usually wear cargo khakis. The work uniform for years has been cargo khakis, plus sneakers, plus a casual button-down shirt (short sleeved in the hot weather). Cargo shorts for warm weekends, which is most weekends around here (northern Virginia). The reason I go cargo is to avoid Costanza Wallet Syndrome; also to have a semi-protected pocket for cigarettes.
I do own one suit, which is for weddings and funerals. Sadly I’ve worn it for both.
And it goes both socks, then both shoes. I couldn’t tell you if left or right comes first.
. . . and if you go shoe, shoe, sock, sock, you’ll get better traction in the snow. I’m just saying. . .
jtb
Better traction, but poorer treadwear. You know what I’m talkin’ about.
3 pairs of jeans I actually wear. I have others but they are either too long or too low cut it just plain uncomfortable.
I think I have about four wearable pairs of jeans at home. I probably have more pairs of cargo shorts, which I generally prefer to jeans. Since I work in the legal profession, jeans are for the most part, verboten. I have several stretchy pairs of fat-man dress slacks and lots of dress shirts along with a rack full of neckties. I don’t like to wear neckties, since I barely even have a neck, but that’s the way the cookie(s) crumble!
And yes, it MUST be “left sock-right sock-left shoe-right shoe” or else the earth might plunge out of orbit and be hurled into the sun, or something!
Here is my entire wardrobe (minus underwear):
2 pairs of jeans
1 pair of cargo pants
1 pair of cargo shorts
2 pairs of mesh shorts
2 grey tshirts
2 green tshirts
1 orange tshirt
2 blue tshirts
6 polo shirts
6 button up shirts
5 zipper ties
3 pairs of shoes
1 belt
I also have two suits that can be combined into three or four suits. I didn’t have the suits until i got assigned to work at the Pentagon for a month earlier this year.
I’m sorry to hear about you being at the Pentagon. I’m at the Navy Yard of late. Worse commute, better parking. I guess it evens out. And I never have to wear a suit.
If by chance I have sneakers and socks at some beach, then I’ll dry left foot, put on left sock and then left shoe. any other situation I take care of the socks before the shoes.
Ideally I’de be wearing sandles I guess.
Some beach.
jtb
Four pairs of pants – two jeans and two khakis. Made the mistake of buying khakis with a perma-crease. I am not the best shopper. To me, khakis are just fancy blue jeans.
I wear one pair of pants for a week, then rotate to the next pair. Jeans one week, khakis the next. Am I the only one? I mean, undies and socks are single day items. That goes without saying. Shirts are good for two consecutive days, except during hot weather events. Pants could go for more than one week but I try to maintain a sense of decorum.
2 pair. I wear them until they are about a week overdue for the wash. Unless they are muddy or I shit on/in them.
One pair has holes in both front pockets so it probably needs to go.
I am purging my underwear since a lot are currently just vessels for a waist band.
No one is writing songs as wonderful, provocative, beautiful, and transcendent as those Leonard Cohen wrote for 50 years, up to, and including, the day he died. No one writing and singing today comes close; no one, in objective fact, is in the ballpark.
There are famous singers, famous composers, and people who play their guitar very loud. Some of them are talented. However, there are also cultural and artistic giants — writers and singers who can change the way we experience the universe — and we should stop and note their passing when they leave us.
If you haven’t listened to most of Leonard’s songs — and he did much of his great work in the ’60s and ’70s before many Reporters were born — take a listen to his first three albums. On them, Suzanne, Bird on the Wire, Hey, That’s No Way to Say Goodbye, and so many more songs brought poetry to AM radio, then to FM, then to the ages.
Fifty years of listening, and I’ve never gotten tired of a single Leonard Cohen song.
John
Listened to Suzanne when I heard the news last night. Thanks for the songs, Leonard, and godspeed.
You say I took the name in vain
Well I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to ya
There’s a blaze of light in every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken hallelujah
Fuck it. I’ve cried enough this week for the mess we’re in, the hateful acts unleashed. He got out just in time, didn’t he? (At least there’s still wine and Vivaldi.)
I’ve been consoling myself with BWV 1043. Also an assortment of beverages based on barley malt; Bowmore at the moment.
Yes, Bach works too. Nothing like the structure of Baroque music and alcohol for comfort.
Somebody come count my jeans.
I know it’s not the same thing for purists, but just last night I finally fell asleep only after I played the Wendy Carlos 1992 remake of Walter Carlos’ synthesizer classic Switched-On Bach on my iPod. I think I hit Dreamland at last toward the end of the third movement of Brandenburg Concerto No. 3.
I suspect the next four years will require a stout liquor cabinet and a fair amount of timeless music.
John
Wow, my brother bought Switched on Bach back in the day and we burned the grooves into ditches. Wow again. Thanks John.
Clueless, et al,
This helps or it doesn’t, but I promise, no more Leonard Cohen lyrics on the page after this. This is Anthem, which I’ve always thought was as beautiful as Hallelujah. I think it addresses some of the shit many of us are walking through this week. . . John
The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don’t dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be.
Ah the wars they will
be fought again
The holy dove
She will be caught again
bought and sold
and bought again
the dove is never free.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
We asked for signs
the signs were sent:
the birth betrayed
the marriage spent
Yeah the widowhood
of every government —
signs for all to see.
I can’t run no more
with that lawless crowd
while the killers in high places
say their prayers out loud.
But they’ve summoned up
a thundercloud
and they’re going to hear from me.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
You can add up the parts
but you won’t have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
Thanks. There’s also Wendell Berry’s The Peace of Wild Things:
When despair grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
But while words and music provide comfort, they do nothing to aid the minorities facing this upcoming hell. And therein lies my grief.
Yeah, there’s a difference between losing to the Republicans and losing to the Fascistas. This morning, Ms. Conway is on TV threatening to throw that rowdy Harry Reid in the calaboose for hurting Benito’s feelings. Using the justice apparatus that got James Meredith admitted to Ole Miss to stifle legitimate disagreement seems a little Old World.
John
. . . and in case you missed it last night . . .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG-_ZDrypec
Two shitty things this week, I hope Keith Richards looks both ways when crossing the road.
Yo Limey, besides Leonard Cohen’s death what was the other ‘shitty thing’ that happened this week? Just curious…
My cat had a hairball.
Plus a bunch of twits, who clearly never paid attention during history class, voted for a nascent dictator.
Is there an echo?
I will make us great again! (check)
It’s not your fault, blame those Others (check)
The media is lying, don’t listen to them (check)
Rally ’round the flag, we’re under attack! (check)
Wow, sucks to be you. Personally, I am the happiest I’ve been in eight years.
If a change in politician makes your decade I suggest you need to find a lot more fun and excitement in your life. Have you considered sewing or calligraphy?
Read this article about you. http://www.theonion.com/article/area-liberal-no-longer-recognizes-fanciful-wildly–54670
I am having too much fun watching all you snowflakes melting…
Since 70% of America thinks it was headed in the wrong direction under Obama, Hillary would have doubled down on that failure.
Perhaps you should get back on the meds, try yoga or meditation and have a spot of tea (decaf).
Cheers.
Using bogus Fox News stats doesn’t do much to support the argument. Prez O has a 57% approval rating. And if you’re concerned about the direction of the country, which you are certainly entitled to be, electing an unstable racist and sexist doesn’t strike me as a cure for anything at all. I should also note that making fun of the supporters of your man’s opponent doesn’t do much to unite us. I know your man is all about us vs the darkies, but that doesn’t mean you have to be as well. As for me, I have no intention of melting away.
John
The hubs wears jeans to work every day, so I make sure he has 3 nice pair at all times. He wears a pair for 5 days, then to the wash they go, always hang to dry, never in the dryer. Once a pair reaches the point that they become “work jeans” they retire to the left side of the closet and I buy him a new pair. Levis, same style, same size, never changes.
He also has 2 pair of khakis, 1 pair of dress slacks, 1 pair carhartt, 1 suit with 1 shirt and 1 tie, 1 sport coat. The man has more polo shirts and t-shirts than I could ever try to count. And then there’s his hunting closet, with more camo than I thought existed.
I, on the other hand, have 2 pair of jeans that fit today, 2 maternity for a future pregnancy, and about 8 in the “hope to fit again one day” category. It’s only been 20 weeks since baby was born, I’m not panicking yet. The rest of my wardrobe consists of a closet of nothing but dresses, a closet with all my shoes, and a crap ton of shirts and sweaters. I guess I need to get rid of some stuff before the kid gets old enough to realize he doesn’t have a closet because mom is hogging them all.
I just did some quick calculations, and 60 pairs of jeans equals 120 jeans!