I listen to a lot of British talk radio, because I’m odd, and callers to the programs often accuse Americans of being arrogant and self-absorbed. They point to some always-changing statistic that indicates the low percentage of us who own passports. It’s proof that we have no interest in the rest of the world, you see, and go around wearing our own arses as hats.
But I’ve never thought that was an entirely fair criticism…
I certainly can’t speak for all Americans (nobody would benefit from such an exercise), but lack of curiosity and/or interest has nothing to do with it. Not for me, anyway. It’s more to do with money, and the massiveness of America.
This place is pretty freaking huge, ya know? A person could spend two or three lifetimes exploring it, without seeing everything worth seeing. I crunched the numbers last night, and believe I’ve only visited 24 states so far. And I cheated with Arizona, having only been inside the Phoenix airport a half-dozen times…
Twenty-four states, or 48% of ’em. And I don’t consider myself to be a hermit. I haven’t yet seen the Grand Canyon, made it to Alaska or Hawaii, Yosemite or Yellowstone, or even Seattle. Is it due to lack of interest, or ass-hattery? No, it is not. I want to go to all those places, very much. As well as dozens of countries around the globe.
I could be wrong, but I believe it would be somewhat easier to call myself an international-traveler if I lived in a place where the countries are small, and packed together like that New England jumble up in the right-hand corner. Know what I mean?
If I could walk out to my car right now, drive for three hours, and be in a foreign land… Well, I guess that would make me more worldly and sophisticated, right? And I could look down my nose at people who live in U.S. states as big as a whole shitload of Luxembourgs, in a country surrounded by two enormous oceans.
Then maybe I could take a bike ride to yet another country, with a big loaf of bread tucked under my free-range armpits, while wearing a tight striped shirt?
Do I sound defensive?
I overslept yesterday, and everything above is what I wrote toward an update. I considered posting it and asking how many states you’ve visited, but decided against it. Too lame, I thought.
But now my stomach is betraying me, and it’s becoming clear that I’ll have to go with yesterday’s plan anyway…
I don’t want to be too graphic here, but I’ve been experiencing a series of high-pressure lightning-strike sit-downs. And while it might sound like fun in the abstract (wheeeee!), reality has a way of ruining things. As Iggy once said, probably about something other than what I’m talking about: no fun.
And so, here’s a list of the 50 states. How many of have you visited so far? Is my 24 low, high, or just about normal? Help me out, won’t you? And if you want to expand it to countries visited, go for it.
And for the record, I do know a few arrogant, self-absorbed Americans. Clive’s callers aren’t completely off-the-mark, but I don’t think it’s as common as some of them choose to believe. Pass the Marmite, goddammit.
Here’s something I posted at Mockable this morning, in case this one ain’t enough for you. I think it’s funny, but I’m incredibly biased.
I leave for work in a few minutes, and I’m very concerned about my 25 year (or so) streak. Oh god…. The planets are aligning for an unthinkable tragedy. I’ll let you know how it goes. Your prayers are certainly welcome.
See ya tomorrow.
32 states, plus DC, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas and St. Croix (are those both USVI?). Countries – England, Russia, Hungary and Mexico.
I have never been to Jamaica (hopefully next year), but if I don’t give myself time this morning to condition my hair in the shower, I will be changing my sign-in name to Rasta Barbie.
Oh, and Jeff, congratulations on maintaining your streak!
Have been in all but four states: Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana and (sigh) Alaska. More importantly, have caught fish in Oregon, Washington, California, Nevada, Minnesota, Maine, New York, Virginia, West Virginia, Florida and Ontario.
Went to the very cool map site (thanks @girlgoyle) and discovered I missed Taiwan, Greece, and the Vatican City. And I forgot to put China in the main list.
Also, I have set foot on Rarotonga/Cook Islands when the plane stopped there from Auckland to LA. Probably doesn’t count but it is such a cool and out of the way place, I want it on my list.
And the map site declares that Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands count, so…
45 countries?
All continents but Antarctica.
I would have to think hard about where in each US state I visited and why. Some of them are multiples.
This was fun.
26 states + D.C.
Haven’t even been to Canada or Mexico yet, but have been to Kuwait and Iraq. That’s sad…
Anxiously awaiting the “end of the week” update, since it is my Friday. (Off for a vacation day). So it IS the end of the week for me. I may even go home right after the update.
On IPOD right now- “Jealous Again”- Black Crowes
Passport?! For what, I’ve never even seen an ocean
Well, if he’s going to leave the post up for 2 days, I’ll comment.
40 states (including AK and HI) plus DC and Puerto Rico.
Canada (Vancouver), Mexico (Pacific coastal resorts plus Cozumel), Costa Rica (all over–loves me some monkeys in the jungle!), New Zealand (both islands), Bahamas, USVI, BVI, Caymans.
And none of it paid for by an employer, damnit!
On iPod now: “Waitin’ For The Bus” – ZZ Top
Did he poop or didn’t he? We need info damnit!
Uncle Wedgie-Jeff NO make poopy at work. See the recent tweets block under the further evidence block.
Thanks, buddies, for the Berfday wishes! 🙂
Cool thing to think about. 26 states. countries: Ireland, Italy, England, Spain, Belgium, Croatia, Bosnia, Mexico, Costa Rica, Canada (Montreal). And coming soon… Turkey fall 2010 hopefully!
I’ve been to 44 states and D.C. I’m missing New England, and somehow have never in all my travels been to Arizona. I’ve been to all the Canadian Privces except the Maritimes, and NWT.
Besides Canada, I’ve only been to Mexico and New Zealand, and while technically, not a country, spent 14 months at the South Pole, Antarctica.
14 months at the south pole? Were you lost? Just walk north you’ll hit civilization eventually, or South Africa.
The South Pole!! Holy crap, clintcurtis, no wonder you’re in Alaska!
Greg from Parkersburg
Well, goddamn, I could have writtens something at work while fucking off again, but thought there would be something here by now. Sorry to the ten people who read and respond to me. Suckass David Brenner was ready to go, but Johnny didn’t give him the indication to leave the green room. Hope things are OK with your bowels, JK.
Last week, I had the physique of Jason Taylor. this week, I look like Thor. 260 pounds of nothing but muscle, baby. The diet has worked beautifully.
I’ve been to 18 states plus countless drive-bys of other states in order to get where I was going. I’m a scenery watcher so I do appreciate and enjoy what each state has to offer even if I am just passing through.
I have also been to Ontario. Talk about a beautiful drive! I was headed to Toronto via Detroit. Detroit was disgusting and smelled horrible. It was like entering a whole other country (heh!) as soon as I crossed the border into Ontario. So bravo you Canadians.
Speaking of the butthole that is Detroit…from shitmydadsays: “I wanted to see Detroit win. I’ve been there. It’s like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.”
27 states and DC, England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Mexico and an extensive trip into Canada. Been to Ontario many many times so my English mum could get her tasty English foods.
From what I can remember, 32 states and at least 16 countries. I’m hesitant to ask if he remembers since it will make me lose the right to bitch he doesn’t take me anywhere, lol.
I think all but for four. Hawaii, Maine, Florida, and Alaska are not on my list. I will not indicate which states have had the pleasure of receiving the extra load a man always has after pleasing a woman.
Puerto Rico is not a state. That island Reagan conquered, Grenada (?) does not count. We should still own Iwo, as it is one of the few places we paid more than we cost the enemy. The Phillipines are turning out OK. Cuba will be mine when I am elected VP in 2012. Dammit Jim, this is a humor site.
Greg
29 and D.C. Haven’t seen much of the midwest, have a feeling I’m not missing much, we have cornfields here too. But I really want to explore the great northwest.
SC Scott-I’m hurt. We have some of the finest cornfeilds in all of the world here in the midwest. What the hell do you have in SC, exactly just one crappy golf course after another. Oh and beaches which are just over rated sand piles. Corn=delicious, sand=not so much delicious.*
*sarcasm meant for fun, no golf courses were intentionally harmed typing this comment.
28 states + Tahiti + Mexico-want to see the Niagara Falls on the Canadian side soon
23 states, 9 (of 10) Canadian provices, Mexico (3 or 4 states), Barbados, Cuba, Costa Rica.
Not to mention about 1600 km driving around southern Ontario, this weekend, so far…
The next province to the west of here takes 22+ hours to drive to, if the weather co-operates, the next to the to the east about 6, depending on traffic in TO.
There aren’t any other provinces north or south.
FYI -Niagara Falls is cool, at least the falls themselves are,… the town itself sucks, but not as bad as the NY side. Best seen at 3 in the morning in January- no tourists, free parking, quiet, ice coated everything, just my opinion, but I’m 15 minutes down the road from the falls.
A few years ago I added up how many states I’ve been to…and I had been to 45! Right then I made it my goal to get to all 50 states by my 50th birthday. I had about three years to fill-in the map.
I’m starting to blog about it. Check out my blog at:
http://50statesin50years.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there!
Randal
Peter Toth, a Ukrainian immigrant, so loved the US that he wanted to honor it by carving an Indian from a tree, representative of each state’s Native population. He did it! And several more in Canada. My goal is to photograph all of them. 46 and counting.
Sorry, Peter was from Hungary, not the Ukraine. Don’t know what I was thinking.
I’m at 49 with the 50th (Hawaii) coming in 3 weeks. My wife and I have taken our 3 children to all 50 before they graduate high school. That was our goal… to see this beautiful nation of ours.