| Straight
from the holler.
by Buck
March 15, 2011
I just
read Jeff's update in which he pointed out Nancy being even more "Nancified"
than usual. I left a post in the comments section, but even after that,
I wasn't satisfied I'd let all of my venom spew forward.
I have a lot of pent up rage over that
kind of bullshit. I guess it's because when I was raised up, everybody
was responsible for their own actions. If Nancy were my neighbor, I'm
sure I'd have to lay down some specific guidelines just for her family.
Typically these are simply understood in our neighborhood here in West
Virginia--but to dipships like this collection of Mensa volunteers--a
list may be in order. Here is my edict that would probably have to be
nailed to their front door. Keep in mind--this would ONLY be issued if
she strayed over and started her judgmental rants toward me and my
family.
1. I
get my ass up early and go to work EVERY day (like Jeff said, I'm from
West Virginia.) I'm
proud of that and suspicious of anybody who doesn't do it.
2. I
fully understand this is a world with its fair share of assholes and
weirdos. There's
no law against such things, so as long as you don't try to spread your
particular brand of joy to me and my family---be who you want to be.
3. Animals
were put here to serve us....and if that means some have to die to keep
my family fed....so be it, and I'm willing to kill them to achieve that
goal.
4. Mind
your own God Damned business in ALL matters. Judgmental, in my face speech
could result in a busted mouth.
5. My
money is mine because I earned it. Sometimes, I choose to allow others
to have some of it if I judge the cause to be worthwhile. But that's MY
decision to make--not yours.
6. I
really don't care if a neighbor is an Asian American, an African
American, a native American, or in your case an Unwilling
American...or whatever. As far as I'm concerned, I don't need to
associate them with
any particular subgroup when we have discussions about our neighbors.
7. If
I want to drive a heavy duty pickup truck, I'll damn well do it.
I don't complain about that piece
of shit vegetable oil burner you drive, so get off my ass.
8. Global
warming is a fucking myth and Al Gore is a lying asshole.
Get over yourself.
9. If
you come over here on my property uninvited and with ill intent. I will
shoot your ass.
10. I
have a loaded gun in every room in my home.
Not because I live in fear--but
because I know there are idiots like you out there willing to give
understanding and comfort to thugs and criminals.
11. You
fly your U-N Flag, Canadian Flag or whatever. I'll fly my American
flag....if you have a comment about it...I'd refer you back to #4.
12. If
we want to have a cookout/barbecue on my back deck, you and your family
are certainly welcome--but leave your judgments at home. If you bring
them over--remember #4.
13. The
toys my kids have are given to them by me because they earned them.
They are not for your kids
amusement or destruction. Please respect their property. If you do
not, I cannot be responsible for how my kids settle the debt over a
broken toy.
14. We
have completely opposite political views. You will never change my
mind--and I have no interest in changing yours -- therefore we shall
both refrain from any political discussion.
15. Coal
is the cheap way to heat my home and if I have a coal pile and a coal
furnace… it's my decision, not yours.
Okay, I think I’m finally calmed
down. However, I probably couldn't resist in November hanging a deer up
on the swing set to skin in full view of Nancy and the translucents.
I'm sure they'd have nightmares for
a month, but again....not my problem.
Buck Out
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