We went to Cracker Barrel for dinner last night, before the big hockey game. And they were pushing a new menu category: skillet meals.
As stated elsewhere, I’m a big fan of having all my food combined into a big ol’ mess before me. So, even though I generally reject hype, I was intrigued. One of the offerings, in particular, sounded mighty good to me. It featured chicken, broccoli, crumbled-up Ritz crackers, hashbrown casserole, and liquefied cheese.
I didn’t really want to give our waitress the satisfaction of believing she talked me into something, but all that melted-down cheddar made it difficult to resist. So, I told her I’d take what she suggested. “Excellent,” she answered. Do they work on commission?
My “Fireside Country Skillet” came with a tossed salad, and a platter of biscuits and cornbread. A nice way to kick-off a feeding… But when she brought my main course, I thought it was WAY too small. It seemed like their so-called skillets are actually flattened-out coffee cups. The mess o’ food inside looked good, but my inner-sensors told me there needed to be roughly 100% more of it.
She asked if I wanted more sweet tea, and why is such a question even necessary? I hadn’t even started my meal yet. Just keep ’em coming, sister.
I sighed at the sight of the pitiful offering before me, and ripped into it. And man, it was good. There were big hunks of white meat chicken, cooked but not overcooked broccoli, and all manner of tastiness. It was a wise entree choice, despite the social pressure.
And it also turned out to be almost enough food. I could’ve gone for another three or four forkfuls, but it wasn’t nearly as skimpy as I’d first believed. It was some kind of optical illusion with cheese sauce.
If you’re a food-mixer like I am, I highly recommend the Cracker Barrel skillet meals. I think there are three of them available at the moment, but one features mushrooms and I’m not much into the fungus. But I’m ready to start rotating between the other two, until full burnout sets in. Oh yes I am.
As we were leaving, the boys asked if they could get a candy from the store out-front. Toney said yes, and asked if I wanted anything. I declined for some reason, and started looking around while she dealt with the Secrets.
And they have something really cool there… It’s boxes, roughly the size of hardcover books, filled with a selection of candies from various decades. They had the 1950s, 1960s, and 1980s. Apparently the ’70s was sold-out, which is the one I’d want. I’m curious to see what’s included. Zotz, maybe?!
While walking to the car, I was telling Toney about the retro candy collections, and she said she had a surprise for me. She reached into a Cracker Barrel bag, and pulled out a long string of… cherry Zotz!
I couldn’t believe my eyes. It had probably been 25 years since I’d had one of those babies, and used to love ’em. She also bought a rope of strawberry and watermelon. I don’t think they had watermelon back in the day, but that’s OK. I popped one of the cherry flavored Zotz into my mouth, and it was exactly like 1978. Same size, same flavor, same everything. I nearly wept.
Already, the night was a huge success.
The Wachovia Arena was just a few hundred yards from the restaurant, and the parking lot was already starting to fill-up when we got there. A team of morbidly obese coal-crackers in fluorescent vests dictated where we could park our car. I did as I was told, and we went in search of the will-call window.
The tickets were waiting for us (thanks again, Brian!), and we zig-zagged our way through the crowd, eventually finding our seats. They were located halfway up the lower section, near one of the goals. Very nice.
Once we were settled, I asked Toney if she wanted a beer. Absolutely was her reply, and I told the woman at the adult beverage trailer I’d take two Yuengling drafts. “Eleven dollars,” she said. “HOLY SHIT!” I shouted, involuntarily.
I realized, at that moment, Toney and I would only be having one beer each. At least until we got home…
The game itself was fun. I don’t know much about hockey, and was amazed at the number of sticks shattered during play. I wasn’t aware that happened so often. In fact, it never occurred to me that it ever happens.
But every ten minutes or so we’d hear a loud crack, and one of the players would drop their ruined hockey stick to the ice. They’d just get rid of it, wherever they happened to be, and someone would have to skate out and retrieve the thing.
One of the Penguins players has a last name of Satan (pronounced suh-tan). And clearly, he’s the most popular member of the team; every time the announcer mentioned his name, the crowd went wild. Those people just couldn’t get enough of ol’ Satan. Personally, I’m partial to Hitler (with a silent T).
There were plenty of fights, small skirmishes really, which never failed to bring the crowd to its feet. At one point there was a splattering of blood across the ice, and the Penguins’ goalie used his blades to create bloody slush, then dragged it to the edge of the ice. And he did this like it was no big deal, just something that needs to be done from time to time.
The shit is brutal.
The action was fast and physical, and fun to watch. When the Penguins scored a goal, however, I was almost jolted into cardiac arrest. A full-blown locomotive horn went off, just impossibly loud, and I’m sincerely amazed my rectal seal didn’t blow. Sweet Maria.
Following the incredible blast of noise the crowd stood, as one, and started in on some kind of freaky ritualistic response. There was chanting, hand signals, and glazed looks in everyone’s eyes. It was all choreographed, and automatic, and slightly disturbing.
But overall, it was a good time. It certainly wasn’t boring, and even though there’s an insane length of time between periods, the time went by quickly. Not once did I look at my wrist, where a watch should be.
So, that was our night on the town. And now that we have one game under our belts, I have no doubt we’ll return. It’s a good way to spend an evening with the family.
Here are a few pics I snapped during the game.
As for the Question of the day… I don’t really have anything specific.
How about your favorite stadium food? I feel silly eating anything besides a hot dog, or popcorn. I always see people scarfing down full meals at sporting events, and that’s not something I could do. Are you partial to any certain foods traditionally served at stadiums, and such?
And what’s the most expensive beer you’ve ever purchased? Bill and I had a few Heinekens at a bar inside the Beverly Hills Hilton, and I think they were about eight dollars each. As best as I can remember, those overpriced brews hold the current record in my world. What about yours?
Also, what candies should be included in the Cracker Barrel 1970s collection? Besides, of course, Zotz?
And that’s gonna do it for today, boys and girls. I won’t be able to update tomorrow, but I’ll shoot for a quickie over the weekend. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.
I hope you have yourselves a fine, fine day.
See ya next time.
You should definitely venture out to an NHL game sometime. The skating is much, much faster.
9 dollars for a fucking draft at the hofbrauhaus in vegas,I told those nazi scum that they lost WWII and had better show more respect
has my generation list its’ collective mind?!?!
WACKY PACKAGES!!!
I’m not sure what my record is for beer, but I can report that I paid $18 dollars apiece for three drinks, on two separate occasions, in high-class bars in Manhattan. The first was a basic G&T, and then a Sidecar, at the Mandarin Oriental on the 40th floor of a building in columbus circle; the other was a a Bloody Mary at the “King Cole Bar,” which was where the Bloody Mary was invented so it was impossible to not order it.
$54, plus tips, for three drinks.
When I was a kid in the 70s the expensive hockey sticks, like Kohos, cost $10. I could never afford those. I got the $4 Sherwoods, and they lasted a whole season.
Nowadays the pros use carbon fiber composite sticks that cost $200+, and apparently they’re as fragile as balsa wood, and just snap in two under the slightest strain. Isn’t science amazing?
I second the Candy cigarettes, they were so good and they made ya feel so cool!
The weird chalk sticks they have now are nasty.
Garlic fries at AT&T Park are the best stadium food.
“Do they work on commission?”
They might. When i worked in the restaurant biz sometimes the waitresses would would be offered bonuses for certain items. If something had a particularly nice profit margin or if we had something that was gonna go bad shortly it would be pushed by the waitresses. Sometimes they got a cut of each sale but usually the girl who sold the most of the item got 100 bucks or something.
retro candy? I remember hording dimes and nickels so I could get trash cans and mummy cases. Garbage Cans were little plastic garbage cans with a hinged lid that had garbage shaped sweet tart like candy and the mummy cases were shaped like an Egyptian mummy case and had bones and skulls in the same sweet tart type candy. loved those things.
The most I ever paid for beer was 7 dollars a can for Budweiser at a strip club. Since I was 17 at the time I happily paid it. I shudder to think how much money I spent in that joint.
Stadium food. Pretty much any sausage product they are peddling outside of Fenway before a game. Damn good.
Expensive beer. Dunno, because I don’t pay particular attention to that sort of thing. Not that I am fabulously wealthy or anything, just don’t I may be shocked at purchase time, but not something that smolders in my memory.
7-dees candy? Can’t remember. Though it seems that this resonates with the readers. Perhaps I sense a theme here…
@Malcolm – Been to the Sheraton Doha. Drinking in the Middle East is always an expensive proposition, unless you brew your own. As I recall, in Doha you could get into the bars as long as you were not Qatari/Muslim, or something like that. I don’t recall the cover charge. I think all the major hotels in Doha had a similar bar.
When the hubby and I score great seats at PNC Park, we often cheer on the Pirates with a mouthful o’ Buc Wok.
@Malcolm: The best (and most expensive) pizza I ever ate was in Reykjavik, Iceland. It’s that deadly delicious homegrown cheese. Oh, and I observed that everyone was smoking hot there. They must drive all the ugly folks underground to run their geothermal wonders. Morlocks versus Eloi, baby!.
Going to the Pens game Sunday!! Where is my shirt dammit? 70’s candy Chum Gum. Hubba Bubba, Big League Chew, what the hell was the gum that had the liquid inside I can’t remember?
Kristin – Thanks for the explanation about why Satan was in the minors. I was wondering if it was his little brother or something. I try to avoid Penguin news as you’re more than likely going to read something about that whiny pansy Crosby and then my blood just boils.
Most expensive beer is definitely at any sporting event – and no sporting event in Detroit has decent beer where I wouldn’t mind so much about paying $8, but no way I’m paying that for domestic pisswater.
Got my shirt on Thursday and wore it last night to bed. It kicks ass. Thanks for giving in to us whiners, Jeff!
Sorry, got shirt Wednesday night…
Kathleen who is second in scoring right now?? Thought so.
At a single A baseball game in Columbus Georgia the fans and the beer were also single A. The 12 OZ beers in a plastic cup were $1. That’s right $1.
A fan walked to the beer line and said “I have a Five Dollar bill; how many can I get?” The vendor said “You can get 5 but I think you should get none”
Beers at the last AC/DC show at Mellon Arena were in the $8/each range, that’s why we took in airplane bottles of Jagermeister as “supplements.” One time I duct taped a pint of vodka to the inside of my upper arm and wore a leather jacket over it to smuggle it into the place.
70s candy — Mr. Bones (at least I’m pretty sure this was around in the late 70s). A plastic casket with candy skeleton pieces inside that you could assemble into “Mr. Bones.”
SOS — That was what we used to call “come gum.” It must have been the 80s though I was too young to say stuff like that inthe 70s.
The best stadium food was at Cooper Stadium in Columbus, Ohio, home of the Columbus Clippers (Triple-A baseball). They used to have a few Monday nights throughout the season that were “Slider Nights” – you could get White Castle hamburgers for a dime. My dad and I used to go together – nobody else in the family liked ball games or White Castle. We’d buy the “expensive” seats – box seats along the third base line for $8 each, because they had waitresses who would come and take your order!!
Those were the days………….
You can order all of those 50s/60s/70s candies online. I’ve seen them somewhere on the internets.
Hockey is life- My husband and I always say. By far the best sporting event to go to.
Got my shirt- Thanks Jeff!!! I am glad you gave in.
One question however…
Did Andy come in contact with these shirts? I ask because as soon as I tried it on, my youngest pup came over, sniffed it and started humping like Ron Jeremy. He walked around with his pink thing out for an hour after that.
Mah shirt is in da HOUSE! Thanks!
Expensive drinks – gotta be the double bourbon at The Plaza in Manhattan – 40 bucks! Shit!
Expensive beer – 8 bucks at a DMB concert, I think. For a CAN. Needless to say, it was a sober evening therafter. Even the contact high was disappointing. Kids these days – don’t know how to share…
Just remembered the candy from the 1970’s that I miss most of all:
Wacky Wafers!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/869943447/
Freshen Up…the gum that goes squirt.
A favorite of Father Bob and Oral Roberts.
Hey Farty – I hope you’re not too mad at me for not showing up last week. I had a “misunderstanding” with the law. But I’m back in action now, with a fresh pedicure. I’m thinking I wanna stick my feet in some Spaghetti O’s and have you lick them clean. Whatcha think?
Wow.
Oh Foot Whore, how could I stay mad at you? You got yourself a deal. Don’t shave your toes and wear black polish, if you please.
And don’t make me call your house looking for you this time. Your mother doesn’t approve of your behavior. And by “behavior” I mean leaving a guy in a 17 dollar hotel room with two cases of pasta on the bed, wondering where you are.
Woo! I’m mucho excited!
I wonder why it is considered by professional sports to be OK to rip off the very fans that buy tickets to their games by charging such ridiculous prices for concession stand stuff? I know lots of people who just don’t go anymore or go far less frequently. But I guess ball players really do need 50 million dollar contracts.
sugar daddies, sugar mama, black cow, sugar babies, B-B-bats, Bonomo Turkish Taffy, ice cubes (chocolate and strawberry), squirrel nut zippers, wax lips, wax coke bottles, Bit-O-honey, a box of Fiddle-Faddle or Screaming Yellow Zonkers…..I’m surprised I have any teeth left.
Samuel Adam’s Utopias $100 bucks a bottle! about the same as I paid for a bottle of Kirin in a Tokyo nightclub when we refused to pay we found out NO the bouncer was Not happy to see us YES that was a gun in his pocket! Good Times!!
Those teeth in that ad in the middle of the page are just plain butt ugly. I’ll bet Brenda wears a bridle.
There’s a little podunk trading post on the Indian reservation near where I live that still sells Zotz. You can get them in green apple too. Judging by the dust on the packages, I’d guess they’ve been around since the Battle of Little Bighorn. Maybe if Custer hadn’t been so busy sucking out the fizz, he wouldn’t haven gotten Siouxed.
After a bicycle ride from Pittsburgh to Washington, DC; we stopped into the RUGBY bar in Georgetown to await our shuttle truck…ordered 2 pitchers of H2O and two of Sam Adams….the water was free but the brew was $20 per pitcher!!!!! Back to the Old German for the rest of the week.
$9 Imperial pints of Kens at a bar in a hotel in Dubai. The price at the time didn’t really matter. I had met up with two Brits and a Scotsman and we were shooting pool and buying rounds. We all sucked at pool but after a few rounds it didn’t matter. The 90 cent packs of Marlboros kinda’ made up for it. No, not really but it helped.
Minor league hockey ganes are pretty cool. I use to go see the Hershey Bears play at the Hershey Arena aka The Old Barn.
Then they moved into this great big, expensive, shitty, new arena called the Giant Center. It sucks and is WAY expensive. I went there once.
The Old Barn didn’t have a bad seat in the place. It held 6000 people and I was at the Bears last game there. There were 7000+ people in attendance and when everyone started stomping the entire building started swaying. Seriously the entire building started swaying about 6 feet from side to side.
I love skillets. The one I had at CB recently was more breakfasty…sausage, potatoes, onions, etc. YUM. And I, being the indulger I am, ordered some biscuit gravy and poured it over the entire thing. YUM YUM.
@Brianf: I saw the Hershey Bears play in my home town of Springfield, MA, on several occasions (AHL, yes?). We were the Indians, then the Kings (LA farm team). The place rocked when a goal was scored.
A great pleasure was watching a young Butch Goring, Billy Smith, and Brad Park all make their bones in minor league hockey. Those were the days. Smith was a badass mofo even then, at the tender age of 18, hacking and spitting on opponents that dared come near his crease…I believe all of those fine young men have hoisted Mr. Stanley’s Cup.
Exclusive photos of the new Yankee Stadium interior, with Smoking Fish:
http://thewvsr.com/index.php/new-yankee-stadium/
Thanks to the vast network of liars and backstabbers…
Hey Mc FatAss, Stop doggin on my sister!
Best stadium food: Beer
Most expensive beer: $500 at B.J. Hummerz in Morgantown, WV. Of course the beer was consumed in a hot tub, and not alone. Gotta love the strippers. Even though all that was consumed was alcohol, had a blast nonetheless. All 10 times.
Exclusive stadium picks kick ass.
Pics not picks. Alcohol induced typing.
Sir,
I will have you know that your sister stood me up not once, but twice! I drove my ice cream van all the way from Alabama. I don’t know what kind of bullshit show yall are runnin, but I am not amused. Not amused at all. I’m of good mind to call the cops and alert them of her little scam. She’s ruining lives for godsake!
I got my shirt, I got my shirt! YEAH!!!!!!
My 70s candy box: Swedish Fish, candy cigarettes (not ‘sticks’ as they’re called now), licorice whips (black only, please)…and a bottle of Raspberry Zarex (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zarex).
I got my shirt yesterday! Thanks, Jeff! I have worn it all around the area today, and have received very concerned looks from the folks here in EOTGW AND over in Satan’s Buttcrack. I’m known as “That [bleeping] Yankee” here; it’s going to get really fun with the locals. I can feel it!
Necco wafers, anyone?
I seem to be the only person I know who ever bought them or ate them.
A 1960’s/70’s guilty pleasure.
Zagnut and Malo Cups too!
http://www.candyfavorites.com/search.php?mode=search
A couple of weeks ago the GF and I went to an LA Kings hockey game at the Staples Center. Domestic drafts there were a little over $9 a piece. But, it’s the Staples Center. LA is the over-priced beer capital of the world, I have found.
Accounts of hockey, much like this, amaze me. Newbies!!
Love -Lifetime Pittsburgh Penguin fan
Son of Sam, the gum with the liquid inside was called Chewels. My mom passed packs of them out in front of grocery stores when they were first out. She came home with garbage bags full. I started selling them at school. five packs for a quarter.
Got any left?
Necco wafers are nasty.
The caption from Jeff pictures at the game for that wrote: “A fan sporting Satan’s jersey.”
You did see the player profile http address…right??
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/666