They’re going to have a health screening at work next month, and we were talking about it at lunch a few nights ago. I joked that after they take your blood, and weigh you and everything, they make you step behind a curtain and undergo a prostate exam.
Some guy, who works in the warehouse, thought I was serious, and had a look of horror on his face. Somebody else, who realized I was joking, said, “I hope they lube-up, at least?’ And I said, “Depends on your rate.”
The warehouse employees are rated — number of scans per hour — and the guy was about to shit. It was hilarious. I love the idea of them saying, “I’m sorry, but you’re not making rate. We’re going to have to go in dry.” Heh.
I completed my big 18 Day marathon last night: 187 hours in 18 days. I wasn’t very easy to deal with during those final 4 days or so, but didn’t do anything to get me called into the small room. At least I don’t think I did; there could be one of those “close the door and have a seat” meetings next week. We’ll just have to see how it goes.
Today I didn’t set my alarm, and slept until 1:09 p.m. Crazy. I usually try to get up around 9:30 in the morning. But I feel pretty good. My body is aching, but I feel rested and ready to enjoy the weekend.
Toney put something in the Crockpot before she left for work this morning, and it smells freaking amazing. Pot roast? I think so. Also, she bought a six-pack of Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ale. She knows me, and the way I like to celebrate: beer ‘n’ beef.
During the last 18 days I’ve been disengaged, but decided I didn’t want that stretch to go completely to waste. I knew I wouldn’t be doing much writing, on account of the scrambled brains and whatnot, so I made a vow to do a little learnin’.
I chose Evernote, which is an organizational tool that I’ve been using for more than a year. I love it, but felt like I was only using about 10% of its potential. It’s one of those programs that do a million tiny things, and there’s a learning curve which I normally don’t have time for.
So, I downloaded this book, and read it via the Kindle app on my phone, whenever I had a few moments free. And now I’m probably using 50% of the program’s potential, and it’s so freaking cool.
I have various lists created, where I can jot down ideas, and note the things I need to do. I also send emails there, which I need to answer. Plus, there’s a tool that allows you to snag articles off the internet, and automatically drop them into your Evernote — in case you want to keep them for reference, or read later.
It’s a fantastic program, and completely free. There’s so much great shit out there, for no money. When I was kid everything seemed to cost a fortune, but now a lot of wonderful stuff is cheap, or totally free. Dropbox falls into the same category. This stuff kicks ass.
Evernote is more than just an app, but the app is a big part of it. I’d have to say it’s my current favorite thing on my phone. What are you favorite apps? Tell us about it, won’t you? I’m especially interested in the not-so-well-known stuff.
And I’m going to go now. Tomorrow I’m going to attempt some “comedy.” You know, one of those updates where I spend 6 hours writing, and 12 people leave comments: three of which are “first!” Good stuff.
Have a great day, my friends!
See ya tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker
Try Dropbox! It’s free and fantastic.
There are no apps available for my rotary cell phone.
Bill in WV says
I’m still trying to learn the ins and outs of the two can deal. There are lots of interesting things to read on each can, but I just don’t have the time for it. I’m skeptical that the damn things even work, like they are supposed to. We’ll see.
I hear you, brother. I long ago vowed to never use a personal electronic device shorter than my wiener. Problem is, with age, I now own my shoebox phone AND an iPod Nano.
Just want to say evernote is available for desktop (:
That and — YOU DID IT JEFF! :: Cheers ::
Some lube would have made those 18 days just slide by…
Bill in WV says
Nah, his bosses would have been all over his ass.
I’ve also noticed the negative correlation between art and number of quality comments here. There might be some model of human behavior that explains this phenomenon, but it probably involves a box, some rubber gloves, and a monkey.
It’s a little like looking for the Higgs field. You think you understand why something happens, then it slips through your hands as if they were lubed. I’m just sayin’.
Fancy Pants Maguire says
My cell phone (still costing me $13 a month) doesn’t have apps. Yeah, it’s that old. I’m surprised it doesn’t say BELL on it. Someday I may upgrade.
I have a bflat phone. No apps. Don’t even know what I’d do with an app and the like. I’m still fascinated by a sundial and an hourglass.
Im curious how many minutes do you get for 13 bucks a month?
I’ll be interested in madz’ answer. As for my $20 Shoebox plan, it includes an hour of talk time for the United States, Canada and Tijuana, unlimited use of the payphone banks in Concourse B at DIA for local calls, and all the texts I want as long as they start with the sentence “Are YOU talkin’ to ME?”.
Don’t do it! Smart phones ain’t really smart. The only reason I left my old brick phone is that my arms are no longer long enough for me to see the display.
So here’s what my “smart” phone does….
Step 1: Press the button on the right side.
Step 2: swipe the screen
Step 3: hold the button on the right side for 3 seconds
Step 4: Select “Power Down” from the menu
Step 5: 5 freakin’ steps into this, the damn phone asks me IF I’M SURE I WANT TO TURN IT OFF!!!!
My dumb phone:
Step 1: Hold down the red button
I get 200 minutes (I think). I usually manage to rack up less than 5. I literally just use my phone if I’m stuck in traffic. I come to the office, I have a phone on my desk. I go home, I have a regular phone with a landline.
Plus, I really HATE talking on the phone. I see people in the supermarkets walking around gabbing, or people on the street so engrossed in their little mirror to hell that they’re walking into people.
I’m with you. I HATE the phone. And the fact that anyone can get in touch with me while I’m taking a leak makes it worse.
Laugh all you want at my phone. I ain’t getting a smart phone.
madz, my cellphone is so old that it has a rotary dial! But it’s cheap, and it makes PHONE calls. The exact thing I want it to do.
WB in OH says
I like the clock in the upper right hand corner of my droid, I use that all the time.
Dave's not here, man says
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for….
My favorite app currently is one called TouchTunes… it lets you play songs on an internet-connected jukebox without walking up to the jukebox.
You still need to pay money for the songs (via credit card). However, the app is great both for laziness and for hilarity. No need to walk up to the jukebox in order to play a song like Clarence Carter’s “Strokin”.
Or you could do something crazy like sit near a Waffle House and drive the employees nuts by playing “Fat Bottom Girls” ten times in a row.
Waffle House CEO says
Or one of those great Waffle House hits. I like playing 10 or so of the same Waffle House hit in a row…as I’m walking out the door.
Another dumb phone user here. No tablet either. And I print out maps if I’m going someplace unfamiliar.
Now I’m done talkin’ Get off my lawn.
(Congrats on making the stretch, Jeff. That’s a hella schedule)
Last! (So Far!)
Disclaimer: I work with geeks. I’m becoming a geek. Don’t think too harshly of me.
I decided a little over a year ago to use Evernote to keep track of everything other than music and photos, and have been doing so since 1/1/2012. All paper gets scanned into EN via a desktop scanner–bills, receipts, business cards, notices, fliers, warranties…everything–then the paper gets recycled. Important emails get sent to my EN account. Need to remember something? Create a Note, and it’s there forever. All of these documents are retrievable via EN apps on other computers/devices, as well as those of TW, whom I’m constantly reminding that “it’s in EN, so you have it with you right now”).
An example of how it comes in handy: I stopped the other day to to buy dog food, but since the dog’s old and can eat only prescription food, I had to have the prescription to buy the food. Unbelievable, but true. Of course I didn’t have the prescription, but I had my iPhone, so I opened EN, brought up the scanned prescription, and that little problem was resolved. Without EN, a trip home would have been required.
Evernote’s a life changer. And it’s not easy to change a life at my age, unless it’s via death.
My favorite app involves my index finger and my nose.
I use Ed Falk’s “RPN Calculator” all the time. That and Weather Underground. Hey, I’m a simple soul.
And Jeff, congrats on finishing the marathon. My hat derby of turds is off to you. I would never have attempted such a thing, but perhaps you’ll tell the story in due course.
Not Oprah says
My navigation AP on my smartphone is a lifesaver. It messes up once in awhile (eg. tells me to turn after I’ve passed through the intersection) but for the most part it is awesome, especially when i realize i desperately need to find a gas station.
I am downloading Evernote as I type this to check it out – thanks for the tips!
Oh you sleepy bitch there will be more than three firsts tomorrow.
Favorite app is probably facebook its really the only place I access it.
The winking lizard in Cleveland has an app to trace mine and the girls’ alcoholism.
187 hours. Can I call you Turk?
I love Shazam and Soundhound. Hear a song, but don’t know the title or who is singing? These apps can tell you. We also love Cozi. It keeps a calendar for the family and a shopping list that can be accessed by my phone and husband’s. If he’s headed to the grocery store and I remember something else we need, I can add it to the list on my phone and he will see it when he gets to the store.
The jury is still out on one of newest apps. It’s called Viggle, and you use it to earn points by watching TV, and then you can exchange the points for gift cards and stuff. When I had the flu I earned a crapload of points.
I have no idea what my cell phone number is so why the hell would I have any interest in using an app? The main reason I don’t know my own number is the fact that I never call myself because I hate to talk on the phone.
I have a 3G flip phone that I got for free when I finally (at the insistance of my son) broke down and got cellular service. It’s the Fischer-Price phone. I dropped the $5 monthly charge for unlimited text messages because I never text anyone (the customer service rep I spoke to at AT&T couldn’t believe I was dropping that service as it is no longer even offered). I got the cheapest senior citizen service plan they offered ($29.95/mo.) and I think I have 200 minutes/month with no carry-over minutes. I do get free calls on weekends and any calls made to other AT&T cell customers are free also; since my brother and my son use AT&T, this is a good thing.
I guess the funniest part is that I’ve never even used my 200 minutes…ever. In fact, I probably don’t make more than 5 calls a month. I told you, I do not like talking on the damn phone!
*sets up lawn chair* So I’m first in line to be first for the next update?
I can’t stand talking on the phone. It’s glued to my ear all day at work. Once that door hits me in the ass, my phone duties end. The only time I am on it is when my boyfriend calls me when he’s on the road and he’s bored. He can tell I get annoyed sometimes. Usually driving to and from work. I either need to get my head ready for the day ahead of me or need to decompress afterwards. I don’t want my cell phone in my ear. Gimme some peace with my road rage!
I have a Samsung Galaxy S3….I think. I know this thing could be programmed to cook my dinner and what not. I just don’t use it. I’ll text, email and get on the innernets..but that’s about it. Maybe I’ll dive into a few of the apps recommended here. Live a little.
Root 66 says
I think my cell phone runs on whale oil, so no fancy apps for me. I do love my iPod touch, though. However, I usually use it only for music and games. I’m a simple man and the very term “smart phone” makes me apprehensive and somewhat intimidated.
The other reason that I stick with my circa 1974 cell phone is that I am cheap. I hate the the idea of handing over an EXTRA $30 per line to the man for a data plan. I’ll keep my money, thankyouverymuch!
Beef, beer and brown liquor. Powerful manly shit. Keep up the good work.
Dave's not here, man says
Further evidence today reminds me of Slim Goodbody…. what a way to creep out gradeschool kids back in the day….
Ninety hours a week between two jobs since January 7, 2012. I miss you all
Sleep from 3:45 to 6:15 each night
Ready to take someone’s life at any minute
ANGRY! It’s been a long time. Don’t take anyone’s life. I heard in prison you’ll sleep even less. Especially if you can’t nail down that “sleep with one eye open” thing.
Good to see you back! Or read you back. Or – nevermind.
pressure cleaning says
I could have a bunker (or man cave) but my better half says it need to stay as a place to park cars. But if it was converted into a bunker, Rudie Can’t Fail by The Clash would be CRANKING right now!!! POO is BACK Baby!!!!
Without POO, life would be all bound up! 🙂