Over the weekend I had a brief encounter with John O’Hurley, who played J. Peterman on Seinfeld. It consisted of the following:
Me: Hey, would you mind if I get a picture?
Him: <silently signals for me to fall into position>
I don’t believe he actually said anything to me. He might’ve grunted an acknowledgment when I thanked him, but nothing beyond that. He wasn’t rude, he just wasn’t opening any doors to conversation. And who could blame him? I certainly don’t. Can you imagine the stupid shit people say in situations like that? It would be maddening. So, I got my photo, thanked him, and extracted myself. It was my gift to him.
This was at a minor league baseball game, by the way. He was there making a personal appearance, presumably for an envelope full of cash. How much would a person of Peterman’s stature be paid for something like that? I’d be interested in knowing, for some reason. He was there from the top of the second inning to the bottom of the sixth. Then he went on the field and sang “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” during the seventh-inning stretch and hightailed it out of there, I’m sure. It was hotter than Satan’s zipper, on top of all the other nonsense.
I’ve met a few celebrities in my life, including many baseball legends at minor league games, not unlike the ones I attended this past Friday and Saturday nights. Most fell into the Peterman category… not openly rude, but just trying to get through it. When I was a kid that was disappointing to me. I thought they’d be friendly and warm and loving every minute of it. Ha! You live and learn, as they say.
Here’s a breakdown of some of the baseball players I met as a Jiffy Pop-haired youngster, and the categories I’d place them in:
Super friendly, just as I’d hoped: Bob Feller, Satchel Paige
Peterman-like: Mickey Mantle, Pete Rose, Sparky Anderson, Whitey Ford, Ralph Kiner
Openly rude: Hank Aaron, Willie Mays
There were others, but those are the ones I can remember off the top o’ my head. Hank Aaron was ridiculous and was also sucking down cigs, which was weird. And Willie was not nice, either. Mickey Mantle was indifferent, and so was Sparky. Those kinda stung a little. I wanted more from both of them. Oh well.
On a more positive note: Bob Feller and Satchel Paige were an absolute delight. They seemed to be having fun and enjoying it as much as we were.
I also met a few musician heroes through the years. I’d put them all into the Peterman category. Paul Westerberg seemed ill-at-ease, but was trying to be friendly. He was making an effort, which I appreciated, but clearly didn’t want to be there. Nick Lowe was the friendliest to me, but I saw him be kind of a dick to a Tower Records employee (heh). He was also drinking bottles of Corona at 10 am, which seemed odd. And Iggy Pop fell dead-center in the Peterman column. Just trying to get through it…
Those were the ones that meant the most to me. I met a bunch of others, being in the business for all those years. But the Big Three for me is Paul, Nick, and Iggy. So far.
What do you have on this one? Have you ever met someone you admired and they acted differently than expected? Please tell us about it. I’m interested in the rude bastards, as well as the super-nice ones. Please bring us up to date on it. Oh, I almost forgot… I also met a couple of writers I admire, and both were exceedingly friendly: Richard Russo and Harry Crews. Those were at book signings at Oxford Books in Atlanta. And, of course, my friend Karen Duffy is one of the nicest, coolest people in the world! What do you have on this? Please share your celebrity encounter experiences in the comments.
And I uploaded a new podcast episode late last night if you’re interested in such things. You can listen below, here, or wherever you get podcasts.
I’m going to a show in Philadelphia on Thursday: Chuck Cleaver and Lisa Walker of the band Wussy. Should be fun! Except for the Philly traffic. Ugh. My tolerance level, at this point, is greatly depleted.
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!
As a kid, my brother and I let Cal Ripken cut us in line at a waterpark in Texas so he could race Billy. The Orioles were in town to play the Rangers and had an off day, so they decided to go to a water park. We didn’t even realize who they were at the time (80’s baseball players shirtless in bathing suits were very ordinary looking.) We debated whether it was them all day, and as we were leaving the park, we saw Cal, my brother said “Hi”, and Cal proceeded to give him batting tips for his little league games. He was very cool. Then we went to see them play the next night.
I’ve met quite a few people in Oxford, MS and all were cordial, mostly because I was hanging out with my father in law, who was a big booster. Morgan Freeman and Tom Brokaw (who was in town for the retirement party of the head of the journalism school) were both warm and friendly but not super chatty. I was gone on a trip for this one, but my wife and daughter hung out and tailgated with Liam Hemsworth and Woody Harrelson before a game at Ole Miss and both were just awesome to them. They were shooting a movie somewhere in MS and came to Oxford for the game. My sister in law’s business made Woody some cold pressed juice and when they delivered it, Woody invited them to stay and tailgate. They were engaging, funny, an treated my girls like sisters. Woody even (in a non-creepy way, before anybody asks) sat and talked to my 13 year old (at the time) daughter and took a pedicab ride around the grove to show him the campus.
I saw a photo of the 1979 Pirates the other day. A bunch of them were smoking in the dugout. It’s hard to believe such a thing took place these days.
Lou Brock and Buck O’Neill were perfect gentlemen.
Dock Ellis was a dick and stuck his tounge out while I got a picture. That was back in ’73. He apologized to me in 1978 where he spoke at our Teener League banquet and showed him the picture.
Everyone else, in the middle, let’s get through this.
The world can use as many Buck O’Neills as we can get our hands on, and now we’ve lost the one we had. Look up the words class and joy simultaneously, you get a picture of Buck.
jtb
He thanked me for talking with him. Can you imagine him thanking me?
I sell high end pianos (Yamaha, Schimmel, Bosendorfer) in Los Angeles. I’ve met TONS. I probably talk to 3-4 immediately recognizable celebrities per month. The latest one being Dennis Quaid this last Saturday night. He was polite, but a bit strange.
Their demeanor is often a lot like Jeff describes it. Most of them are ok if you don’t fan out on them. Big named celebrities get harassed constantly, and as long as you don’t waste their time by going on and on about how much you love them, or worse, trying to be their best friend, most will be cordial enough. The thing you have to remember is that folks like that are well-rehearsed at breaking away from conversations, and walling themselves off for the sake of their time. You can’t get offended when they do, because if they gave everyone as much time as they wanted, they could never get anything done.
I’ve met too many to summarize thoroughly. Some are repeating clients of mine whom I speak to regularly. Some of the very nicest are:
James Earl Jones – He treats everyone with respect. I watched him hold the door to my showroom open for a handful of kids to walk in, and they had no clue who he was.
Kiefer Sutherland – He’s never been to my showroom, but I was playing pool in a dive bar and he came in with some friends and offered to play doubles with my buddy and I. He bought us so many drinks during those couple of games that I almost couldn’t walk. Everybody in the bar came up to him and wanted pictures, and he talked to every last person for as long as they wanted. Incredible, incredible guy.
Paul Sorvino – Big Pauly used to come in semi-regularly. Always super cheerful. He’s been known to bust out into acapella opera arias from time to time.
Nikki Six (Motley Crue. Yeah, I know, but I liked them when I was in Junior high, ok?) – he’ll tell you jokes, and he’s actually pretty funny.
Stevie Wonder – maybe it’s because I sell pianos, and when he comes in he’s like a kid in a candy store, but he’ll spend hours on the showroom floor, and he doesn’t mind giving impromptu performances for anyone listening. Extremely humble and kind to everyone.
I could go on and on. I’ve met plenty that are less than kind, but I’d hate to talk shit about them because who knows if they were just having a bad day… With one exception: I don’t want to type out his full name because I don’t want it coming up in a Google search, but his first name is James, he’s an actor in mostly comedy movies, and he owes his whole career to the fact that his super-talented and vastly superior brother, who was an SNL legend, died in his prime. Know who I’m talking about? Fuck that guy. He was such an asshole in my store that I kicked him out, and I almost never do that. Then about 2 weeks later I walked into a Verizon store and saw him in there, pulling the same shit on some poor minimum wage kid who had to stand there and take it.
There’s plenty more where these came from, too.
“… I don’t want to type out his full name because I don’t want it coming up in a Google search, but …”
SEO: Search Engine Obfuscation. Nice job!
You’re not the first person I’ve heard say that guy was a huge jerk.
Oh, I should share one funny story that stands out in my memory…
At another LA music store I worked at before this one, Colin Hay (Men at Work frontman) was a semi-regular. He was delightfully odd, just about batshit crazy, but I loved it when he’d come in. I also considered (and still consider) him incredibly talented. He’d grab a guitar from the rack and play and sing, and his voice is great, and chill-inducing when you hear it live from 3 feet away.
Anyway, about a week after one of his visits, Ron Strykert came in, who was the other Men at Work guitarist. In the course of conversation I mentioned that Colin had just been in a week ago. “Do you still talk to Colin these days?” I pried. “No.” He said.
“How long has it been?” I asked.
“It’s been a number a years. Ever since he came to my wedding and tongue-kissed my wife in the reception line.”
How insane is that??
I met Jean Shepherd at a book signing at Brentano’s, probably for The Ferrari in the Bedroom. He was exactly like his radio persona. I feel honored that he called me “kid” to my face.
Years later I met Mark Levinson; he was perfectly nice, but I was surprised how ignorant he seemed to be about audio electronics.
Just recently-ish I met Abdullah Ibrahim, aka Dollar Brand. He was soft-spoken, humble and super nice.
Jean Shepherd…met him at a book signing at the Monmouth Mall (Eatontown, NJ) for EXACTLY that book. He signed it “Excelsior” and couldn’t have been nicer to a 2nd string high school football player who had been listening to him on WOR AM every weeknight for years.
1970s Yankees shortstop Gene Michael was the speaker at an 8th grade Babe Ruth awards banquet and hung for as long as people wanted to speak with him.
Otherwise…no real celebrity encounters (unless two flights with the Dallas Cheerleaders count…once from San Diego to Dallas on American Airlines, and once from Souda Bay, Crete to Sigonella, Sicily on a USN C-9. We didn’t chat much….
1989, 1990 maybe? I sort of glommed onto an invitation to a Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons game party box. I don’t recall the circumstances but Dick Yuengling, Ted Twardzik of Mrs. T’s pierogies and Jack Palance were there in the box, which belonged to a local TV station.
I tried as hard as I could not to be a star struck Jack Palance pain in the derriere and did pretty well up until about the 8th inning. But Dick Yuengling was there and so was an endless supply of Yuengling lager.
Jack Palance seemed very ordinary and personable and I actually watched him scarf up a plate of Swedish meatballs then drink the Swedish meatball juice off the plate.
Anyway, 8th inning, with what I was nearly certain was a large, blinking, ‘I’m an a _ _ hole’ sign over my head, I finally stood in front of Jack Palance as he sat on a couch in the box. I was blocking his view of the game. He looked at me and I said, (think Chris Farley interviews Paul McCartney), ‘You remember? In ‘Young Guns’? When Emilio Estevez shot you in the forehead? I was f _ _ kin’ cheering man!’ He sort of chortled/guffawed for two seconds and said thanks.
I had another Yuengling.
PS
Got to hang out with a lot of the folks from ‘The Office’ (see pic). All very nice, especially Brian Baumgartner and Angela Kinsey.
I met Anna Freud when I was a limo driver in Vienna, Austria – she was the daughter of Sigmund Freud and was probably 70 or 80 years old (just looked her up – she died at 87 in 1982 – I drove her in the late 70’s, probably 1978 or 1979.)
What was special about her was that she wanted to sit up front and she also told dirty jokes all the way to and from our destination. According to Wikipedia – Alongside Melanie Klein, she may be considered the founder of psychoanalytic child psychology.
Those kids must have had a blast! Or perhaps, I was her escape valve because she COULDN’T tell them dirty jokes. And no, I don’t remember any (and that sucks).
At a time when video programming as art has come to include “reality television”, we are flung headlong into Daniel Boorstin’s dictum that, “. . . a celebrity is a person who is well-known for his well-knownness”: when there are hundreds of thousands of celebrities, there are no celebrities at all. In the mid-1950s, Willie Mays played stickball with neighborhood kids in Upper Manhattan before Giants games without causing a crowd scene and John Wayne hung out at a waterside bar in Poulsbo, Washington most summer months with his minesweeper moored at the dock with no commotion. Now everybody has an agent and, with 200 video networks packed with content, there’s plenty of demand for second rate actors and second string linebackers.
At least Anna Freud actually contributed something to human understanding and she managed to not beat up her girlfriend or pile up DWIs or get in bar brawls every other Saturday night. Hey, if you want to worship somebody because they’ve accrued a bunch of cash “singing” to a backing track or because they manage to look good in front of a greenscreen surrounded by nonexistent CGI bad guys, go for it. It’s not the goofiest religion in the world.
Thanks for the Freud story. I only wish I had a Richard Feynman story to go with it. Sadly . . .
John
Worked at an upscale ski resort in Utah and met several celebrities or famous-by-association people. Met all of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s kids and ex-wife. They were all pleasant, made some small talk but generally no-nonsense. Maria’s agent was super annoying though, and a bigger diva than she was.
Dean Devlin, writer of such American classics as Independence Day, was cordial but not super friendly. Pierre Omidyar, founder of eBay, was super kind and sweet. Also helped a billionaire family that’d tip a hundred bucks each time I helped them: not going to name the family but the patriarch was very nice, remembered my name and was the definition of class. While money doesn’t necessarily buy class, many of the people I met at that job exemplified that trait. To be fair though, they were on vacation and in a good mood.
Super friendly: Bo Bice, Kelly Clarkson, Robin Zander
Peterman-like: Darryl Hall, Clay Aiken, Vince Neil
Openly Rude- Alicia Keys, Anna Nalick (rude and bitchy to the station staff, but a delightful woman to the listeners there), Dave Mustaine (made his hyped appearance at Peaches to just walk around the store, wave away fans wanting a autograph, looking at Megadeth inventory, telling the label guy that he’s made his appearance and left the store). I spoke with his rhythm guitarist the night before for 20 minutes. He was a great guy. He was filling in since the main guy was fired or quit during the tour. His name was Jeff… that’s all I remember. Jeff was following Dave out the door and I asked, “What’s the deal?” He said, “Dave’s a dick sometimes.”
I’ve used up all my AOL hours this month so I can’t check, but Bo Bice has to be a scalp disorder. She can’t be one of those million record lip-synchers can she? I don’t subscribe to cable so I might be out of touch, but I think Anna Nalick used to cut my aunt’s hair when both of them were alive. (It wouldn’t have made sense had either been deceased). That makes her a celebrity to me, but I doubt anybody else much cares. George Gobel – Now THERE’S a celebrity. And from what I’ve heard he could sing every bit as well as Clay Achen and was considerably funnier. I have heard of haul and oats.
jtb
I tend to be the indifferent guy when I meet/see someone famous. I usually ask, “Are you ___?” and when they confirm it I say, “Cool; I thought so. Have a good day,” and leave them alone.
I was on the management staff at a suburban mall movie theater in the mid-90’s.
Areosmith came in to the late show one Tuesday night while on tour. I forget what they were seeing- “Congo” or something like that.
Lisa Welchel (Facts of Life) came in once or twice.
Pat Summeral came in to see “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” with his wife. They left about 20 minutes into it and asked for their money back. I gave it to them.
Herschel Walker saw “Jurassic Park.” So did NHL Hall of Famer Mike Modano (but not together.)
More recently I saw Bryan Johnson (AMC’s Comic Book Men and Tell’em Steve Dave podcast) on the street in NYC. After he walked away I told the group I was with (chaperoning a high school trip), “I’m winning New York! I saw a famous person!” After I told them who, some of them even knew who he was. He had somewhere to be and so did we, so I didn’t want to bog everyone down.
My kid saw some YouTuber- the Smile More guy and family, I think; I don’t know his name- in the airport. He was on the more engaged and talkative side.
I’ve pee-ed next to Ron Wood in a club in London. Do I win a prize?
Depends on whether you used a capo or barred down and transposed.
jtb
Another topic for Jeff… Which celebrities have you peed with?
For me… Ron Jaworski – I was in a south Philly bar where a bunch of Eagles were having a party. Jaws was there, Dick Vermiel, Bill Bergey, Jerri Sizemore.
Base ball players.. rusty staiub andn, Gary Carter and Ron darling.why yes, I’m a Mets fan. Rusty and Gary were awesome. Ron darling looked like he wanted to take a bullet.
Keith Richards and Charlie Watts. Charlie was the epitome of class and grace. Keith just had a good time with all his fans.
Kevin Nealon. If I wasn’t on a date with his friend, he was an asshole. Huge fucking jerk.
Rodney Dangerfield. On the aforementioned date with Kevin Nealons friend. A little abrupt but getting ready for a show.
Lots of politicians but seriously who cares?
Lots of other celebrities but too tired to think
I worked in a 5 star hotel in Big Sur California the year it opened. The bigger the star the nicer they were it seemed to me. The B-Listers (Suzanne Somers immediately comes to mind) was an asshole. Then there were spouses DO YOU KNOW WHO MY WIFE IS types.
Mickey Rourke was 100% the weirdest. He and his chihuahua wore matching black turtlenecks. Ed McMahon was absolutely the nicest (but his wife was vile) and I met the current White House turd who was there with Marla Maples when she was just the side-piece.
Oh god, I could write a book.
My kids were talented swimmers in NC when Frank Reich (now head coach of the Indianapolis Colts) was retired (not a top line QB but authored one of the biggest comebacks in NFL history) and had not started his coaching career. His two girls were talented swimmers as well. I walked to him several times before meets or while sitting in the stands waiting for our kid’s events. What a super nice guy. We talked about his plans (get back into coaching, religion, helping retired NFL players). I think he may have been more responsible for the Eagles Super Bowl win than any other coach there that year (he was the offensive coordinator). I wonder if he came up with the Philly Special?
He’ll be the reason I’m rooting for the Colts these days (after the Eagles of course).
Darryl Dawkins used to come into the Two Guys department store I worked at and buy cheap stuff there. Also super nice. It was near Christmas when I asked for his autograph and he signed it with a “Merryl Christmas” wish.
My Father in Law met Red Skelton and Doris Day when he was in the navy, and said they were both great with the military.
Oh, and by the way, nice picture, Jeff!
Went through airport security in Buenos Aires with Owen Wilson ca. 2003. Very nice guy – I went first and asked him if he had been in Argentina to shoot a movie and he said no, he was just on vacation there for a week. He asked me what I did for a living and he knew my workplace and complemented me on it. Super cool.
In the 1960’s I met Dean Jones (Herbie the Love Bug movie lead – I think he was a Disney contract artist for much of his career) backstage after a performance of “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”, of all things, at a local Repertory Theatre. He was very polite and spent a long time just chatting with the crowd. Very patient.
Our family knew actor Jerry Hardin and his family in the 1970’s – he played Deep Throat in the X-Files. I used to hang with his son Shawn once in a while, who is now a Hollywood producer. Very nice family. His wife is an acting coach in LA and his daughter Melora is in a lot of shows currently (Tammy from Transparent, e.g.).
Because of my work, I meet a lot of Nobel Prize winners in the sciences. Most of them are very nice but some of them have egos that prevent their heads from passing through large doorways. One recent Nobelist was this way before he won the Prize – now he has become completely insufferable. But there are a half dozen Nobelists out there who return my calls, which is nice.
Sheldon and Amy?
Charlene Tilton
Patrick Duffy
Larry Hagman
Linda Gray
Sinbad
Ian MacCulloch
Peter Murphy
Adam Ant
Exene Cervenka
John Doe
DJ Bonebrake
Billy Zoom
Lisa Ling
BD Wong
Coretta Scott King
Bryan Ferry
Maria McKee
Lux Interior
Poison Ivy
Boy George
Steven Severin
Budgie
Martin McCarrick
Jon Klein
Siouxsie Sioux
Annabella Lewin
Warren Defever
Kim Deal
Kelley Deal
Debbie Harry
Tonya Donnelly
Gail Greenwood
…all nice/pleasant/courteous/funny! These were all short “fan” interactions.
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
John (and Ernie)
Week or so ago newscaster David Brinkley made a cameo in my dream. He didn’t speak, but smiled and nodded at me. Seemed very nice. Does that count?
Only if he called you Chet and said, “Good night.”
jtb
Almost forgot, I saw John Waters the other year at a show in Baltimore (where else?). He was on the other side of the bar, so no chance for conversation. But he and the GF and I waved and smiled across the bar. The band was PiL, and John Lydon called out Mr. Waters.
Johnny Rotten. Hell, yeah!
Stephen King and Dick Vitale were regulars at a restaurant i used to manage. Both were cordial, but you could tell they just wanted to have breakfast and gtf outta there to go spend their millions on stuff the rest of the day.
Met the NBA logo, Jerry West on top of a Charleston bank when i was a kid. Always thought he was my real dad, since mom and him were “involved”. Got his autograph and he said give your mom my best. Awkward!
The nicest celebrity i met was Regina Spektor. She did a short concert for my family sponsered by make a wish. This was my boy’s dying wish. She bought us lunch at Katz deli in Manhattan and we sat at the table where harry met sally. That night room service brought us a hundred dollars of chicken wings and fixins, paid for by her. In her music videos she looks like a six foot tall model. In real life, she is about 4 foot ten.
I just remembered – my mother gave me a signed copy of Frank McCourt’s book, ‘Tis. She said he was incredibly kind.
And Fred Gwynne stopped into the McDonald’s where I worked as a young lass. We waited until he finished eating and he couldn’t have been a nicer, happier guy when we asked for his autograph. A lot of celebs stopped at that McDonald’s as it was upper Westchester County, NY. Peter Frampton made numerous appearances. We had the back wall filled with a nice array of autographs until some a-hole stole them all. 40 years later and I still get pissed off.
Alice from the Brady Bunch was nice and smiled when I said hi to her.
Douglas Adams was really nice at a book signing.
Drinks with Ric Flair many times. Great, great guy, but was/is obviously battling some issues with alcohol.
It’s too bad nobody has a good Jack Horkheimer story. I’m always ready for a good Jack Horkheimer story. At this point I’d be pretty damn ready for a BAD Jack Horkheimer story.
Keep looking up.
John
JK, is this trick photography, or have you lost a lot of weight? You look better than last pic you posted. Keep it up, whatever you are doing!