I’m not very lucky when it comes to random drawings, and lotteries, and that sort of thing. But some people seem to have been conceived under a lucky star. A guy at my job, for instance, is always winning substantial amounts of money — including a hundred grand from a scratch-off lottery ticket.
One hundred thousand dollars!
I play the Powerball whenever I think about it (you can’t win if you’re not in), but it’s inconsistent at best. When I do play, it’s never for more than three dollars. Usually it’s two.
And I think I won seven dollars once. That was my big lottery score to date, and it happened many years ago. Almost always, I get no correct numbers. Not a single one. And I think there should be a small prize for that accomplishment. Ya know?
In my whole life, the biggest prize I’ve ever won was a 105-second “record run” at Budget Tapes & Records, in Charleston (Kanawha City), WV.
Apparently I’d entered the contest by scribbling my name and telephone number on a slip of paper, and stuffing it into a box inside the store. Afterward I didn’t even remember doing it. But whatever.
I was working at the Dunbar Toll Bridge at the time, and was listening to a rock radio station there one night: FM105. Between a Journey rock-block and something by George “Thoroughly-good” the owner of Budget was brought into the studio.
The DJ said they were going to draw a name at random, from all entrants, and that person would get to run around the record store for 105 seconds, and gather as many albums as they could get their booger-hooks on.
I wasn’t really paying close attention, until I heard one of them say, “And the winner is… Jeff Kay of Dunbar!” I nearly dropped a plate.
I had 105 seconds (always with the 105) to call and claim my prize, and I did. They put me on the air, and both were snickering when I told them I was calling from the Dunbar Toll Bridge. What the hell, man?
After I hung up, some guy drove up to my boof, said, “Hey, I just heard you on the radio, faggot!” and flung a quarter past my left eye. Yes, the community support was already starting to emerge…
On the day of the “run” there were dozens of spectators there (including the Evil Twin!), as well as news media. Someone was filming it for one of the TV news stations, and little beads of sweat were rolling down the middle of my back.
They had all sorts of rules and regulations, designed to cramp your style, but I ended up with 96 albums that I could keep. At least that many were taken away, because of the rules. For instance, I could only have up to three albums by any one artist. So, if I grabbed the whole Rolling Stones section, they’d take away all but three. That kind of thing…
But the owner of the store was cool, and told me I could take whatever I wanted from the 96. And if there were some I didn’t care for, he’d just let me trade ’em. Pretty sweet, huh?
My brother had his big $700 water-driven VCR by that point, and he recorded the 11 o’clock news — hoping I’d make an appearance. They did a short piece on the record run, and I was shown bouncing around the store, on sped-up film. While this was happening, some kind of Charlie Chaplin music was playing, and I looked like a complete and utter douche.
And this doesn’t really have anything to do with today’s topic, but one of the other stories from that night’s news was a report on a mine disaster, in Kentucky (I think).
During it, an obese woman was shown in profile, and she suddenly started screaming, “Noooo! NOOOOO!!” and fell backwards out of the frame. Then, and this was the best part, her cigarette flew up, did two rotations in the middle of the screen, and disappeared.
My brother and I kept rewinding the tape, and watching that scene over and over. We couldn’t stop laughing, and our mother just shook her head in deep, deep disappointment. Heh.
Supposedly he still has all his tapes from those days, and it would be the biggest prize of all, if he could unearth that record run news broadcast.
Anyway, have you ever won a significant prize of some sort? Tell us about it, won’t you? And if you haven’t been lucky yourself, do you know someone who won a car, or a big lottery jackpot, or appeared on a game show, or that kind of thing? We need to know.
And I’m going to go to work now — another strange night, my friends.
See ya tomorrow!
I won $25 bucks off a scratch card once, and I also won a free month of tanning from a local hair salon. I’ve never been notorious for winning things either. A few people I worked with at TGIF’s were on Judge Judy a few years back. …nothing too exciting.
I won $5K from the Keno thingy at the bowling alley in St. Albans once…and jeebus, that’s just an embarassing sentence to say out loud.
I’m giggling my ass off at the mental image of the cigarette flipping mine disaster lady…which is a close 2nd to the news footage of a few years ago, of another obese woman being pulled from the open window of her Pinto (or some such nonsense) and saved from raging floodwaters. God, I heart the news.
hot fuzz says
I won the lottery when i married She who must be feared and obeyed.
I won a chair massage (no happy ending) at a company function. I couldn’t collect because of the timing. Rats, I could have used it; I love being touched. Too creepy?
Total casino wins? $800. Total Casino losses? $1,600.
Biggest lottery win? $80 But man do I dream about it. I hope to one day have FU money and live like Mark Cuban or Bill Gates or maybe some oil sheik.
Oh and I was 4 votes away from class clown in highschool. I know I didn’t win anything so it really doesn’t apply, but I really wanted to be class clown, and I wasn’t. So I’m good with 4 votes away, that’s a winner in my book.
Oh and Jeff, I laughed out loud at your obese woman flipping the cigarette. I think I peed a little.
I won a $50 lotto ticket once. And won about $300 on keno at a shitty bar in maryland.
I usually lose tons of money. Like this weekend at the track I won $1.20 on close to 2 or 300 in bets.
I won $1,700 from the govt. once. I sent them some forms in mid april and 2 months later I was sent the money. I was quite impressed.
I almost forgot! A few months ago I won free burritos for answering trivia questions during intermission at a MN Wild game. The best part was being on the jumbotron.
won $3500 playing slots for the first time at Argosy.. ex promptly took it to “pay bills”
won $500 on a scratchoff .. the ex promptly took it to “pay bills”… won $750 at bingo.. the ex promptly took it to “pay bills”
won $1000 50/50.. the ex promptly took it to “pay bills”
Won a divorce in 2007.. I told the ex to go fuck himself and pay his own “bills”
And this month, my apartment manager gave me $2890 cash to stay at the complex… ok, im going to the store to get that mega millions ticket…
I love being single!
A *significant* prize? No, but I’ve won a few things. 15 years ago I won a ski bag by having my number drawn out of dozens, and a couple of years ago at work I was chosen, by the same method, to attend Infocomm that year. The same year there was a drawing at the company xmas party, and I won a portable DVD player (regifted it). Also won a “promotional-not-for-sale” album via radio contest, some time in the 70s. I think that’s it.
My friend Kenny D is another story. When we were in junior high his mother won some large amount of money in the NY State Lottery. I don’t know the amount, but it was enough to pay four years’ tuition at NYU for Kenny.
I don’t do lotteries myself. I think it’s better to invest in collateralized debt obligations =:^O
Jersey Scott says
Back in the day I was on MTV’s “Remote Control”. To this day it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever done.
A guy on the West Coast runs a website called “The Basement” that’s a salute to the show and I did an interview with him and he posted the show online. If anyone wants to see it Google ” The Basement Remote Control” and you can see me in my glory days, along with Denis Leary, Colin Quinn and the late Ken Ober.
Notice I haven’t actually said whether I won or not.
Dorothy's Secret says
I won a Klingon raffle at a Star Trek convention once… Unfortunately I didn’t win a real Klingon, but I did win either $200 or $250, don’t remember which. Other than that, not much other than the $7 booby prize for the power ball a couple times. Oh, I also won a bag that had been signed by Dale Jarrett. (#88 at the time) no clue where that is, if he wasn’t “our” driver at the time I wouldn’t have even known who he was. (not a sports fan)
I’m the luckiest guy I know, and I never buy lottery tickets.
Same thing with slots.
3 days in Vegas, losses =0.
Wake up, people, lotteries and slots are are a voluntary tax on the working poor, and create nothing positive.
If you want to gamble, play cards with your friends, and bet more than you can comfortably afford to lose, at least you’ll get the drama, and the taxman doesn’t rake in the biggest share.
Most lotteries and slots return less than 50% of the buy in, you’re better off buying stocks.
So, pick up some shares in, say, Ford, or Toyota, or whatever, and roll the dice with the big boys on Wall Street, even if it goes down, it usually has actual value.
Sorry for the rant, but you make your own luck, most of the time. Pissing into the wind, won’t make you rich.
Great Googly Moogly says
I’ve never won a damned thing. In fact I have about the worst luck of any human being I’ve ever met.
I had the decidedly strange experience of having all of my lottery numbers come up one digit higher than the ones chosen. The numbers drawn were something like 7-9-11-20-28-31 and mine were 8-10-12-21-29-32. The hell!?
The universe sure knows how to stick it and break it off sometimes.
Not the luckiest person alive, my “winnin’s” cosist of a frozen turkey from a grocery store when I was 10 years old, a Waylon Jennings album from a radio station in Spokane when I was in the Air Force, an several hundred dollars on two seperate occasions from the Saturday night drawing at the Elk’s Club. The Elk’s club cash really was like winning, because protocol dictated that the winner buy the a round of drinks. Suddenly a bar filled with elderly pensioners go from drinking 25 cent draft beers to Courvoisier Cognac with a Dom Perignon chaser.
Had a friend who worked with me that was totally lucky. Moved into town, and three days later he won $500 from a grocery store, and month later won a big ass TV. He and his wife were both lucky like that. Several years later he took a job in Las Vegas…but he and his wife don’t gamble. Go figure!
ONce, in the forth grade i won an easter egg hunt. That is the last time I one any sort of luck based contest, and even still I cheated to do it. It was raining outside so the teacher just put one egg in one desk while the class waited outside. I peaked through the crack in the door to see where she hid it. My prize was some sort of shitty fake chocolate hollow bunny. Lame.
I lost 100 bucks on three straight hands of “20” in blackjack once. I call that the day I won the prize to never play casino games again.
WB in OH says
Damn, I may have shot my mouth off too soon again, looks like the mega millions went out in CA. Hope you won Melissa.
I won $5,000 in a drawing at the local Eagles once. Would have been $10,000 if I were present but that’s another story. Then they had me fill out a 1099 and the tax man got his share.
jeff_in…Couldn’t agree more with your rant, but when the multi-state lottories go over 100 million I will put down $1 for a ticket. Can’t win if you ain’t in and I can certainly afford it, but I suppose I am helping the Gubmint enable the less fortunate to stay less fortunate.
For me the dollar gives me 2-3 days of daydreaming on how I would spend a small fortune.
Oh, I forgot, I also won Krispy Creme’s from a local radio station for answering a trivia question. But then they wanted me to drive 45 minutes to get them and I didn’t even have a license yet.
Dorothy’s Secret: You mean the Klingon Raffle didn’t involve winning a chance to die in battle? Pffffffft! What a rip!
Oh..Clintcurtis reminded me about the Elks thing… I went to a country dance at an Elks Club back in the early 90’s and won a life sized cardboard figure of Dwight Yokum (a country singer for those of you whose head splits down the middle when hearing country music). You would of thought I just won the lottery. I had a very small car at the time and I actually had a hard time loading him in. So, I did what any girl would do…I put him in head first and sat on his face the whole way home…! Giggity
Shiny Rod says
…and those who thought they had no time to do anything significant.
Lee Harvey Ramone says
It’s true, lotteries and casino gambling (i.e. the former of the two) are like a tax on the mathematically challenged. That being said, I have bought a lottery ticket or two in the past when the payoff has gotten extremely high. Its’ just kinda exciting.
The biggest monetary prize that I have ever won occurred last year when I was awarded $500 for writing the year’s best paper in image analysis and interpretation. What a party animal.
Joey Jo Jo says
I won $308 on a pick-3 ticket. Twice I’ve won $250 on a scratcher. I won tickets to, I think, a wrestling match in college – I didn’t go.
Back in about 1994, my “girlfriend” and I were pretty fucked up, and had decided to disappear, drive around the country, and never come back. As we were on the way out of town, we stopped at the convenience store we both worked at. One of the other clerks and I had a standing 50/50 bet on the pick 4, number 3338 – it was my license plate number. Of course, she was working when we showed up, and it had hit that day. I was happy, but we were on the way out, so I wasn’t jumping up and down or anything. Months later, when we eventually did come back, she told me she knew we were up to something because I wasn’t excited enough to win half of about 3 grand…
Joey Jo Jo says
I should add, I never collected on that pick-4.
Joey Jo Jo says
Shit, I forgot my best one! On my honeymoon (different woman from the above), we went to Reno. I got sick as a fricking dog. I spent a lot of time in the room. My wife stayed with me a lot, but did a lot of solo blackjack play. The dealers like to make conversation, and eventually found out our situation. The pi boss found out, and comped our room and some buffets, as well as giving my wife a free entry to a slot tournament.
I was feeling passably human, so I went down to the floor to watch her play in the tournament. I was not allowed to be right there, so I sat at a bank of slots off to the side (ELVIS slots), drinking the free OJ from the cocktail girls. I stuck a twenty into the slot, and hit $2500 on the first pull.
On a later trip to Reno, I hit $1750 on some slot. Then won $500 on a nickel slot – max jackpot!
UF Monica says
I’ve one a grand a couple of times gambling, once in slots and once in scratch-off tickets. Sounds pretty good, right? My best friend won 1,000,000 (in 30 installments of 33,333) in a sweepstakes…some guys have all the luck.
@ WB- a buck’s cheap for a couple hours of entertainment, no question. I don’t particularly care how anyone else spends their discretionary income either.
I do know from personal experience working a 7-11 type store on the night shift when I was kid, that the people who spend the most on lotteries, are the ones that appear that they can least afford it, and that’s just depressing.
I will say that there is very little difference between a 1:50,000,000 shot, and a 0:50,000,000 one, so your odds of winning are statistacally the same whether you buy a ticket or not, ie: zero.
Twenty bucks a week on lotto’s is fine if you can afford it, but is over 1000 a year, in after tax income, and you could just bank it with %100 odds of getting to spend it later.
End of rant, thanks for listening.
In 2008 I won a 50/50 draw run by the social club at work, about $140.
In 2005, I won two tickets to see Pearl Jam in Toronto, including trainfare from Ottawa and one night in a downtown hotel.
In 1996, I won tickets to the Eden Music Festival.
Both music wins came courtesy of a local radio station and I attended and thoroughly enjoyed each show. There have been other misc. small wins but nothing remarkable comes to mind at the moment. My S-I-L is crazy lucky at 50/50 draws, she won $1200 at Brockville Speedway and $7500 at a Senators game.
My brother won a new Ford Pinto at the Classic Shoe Store.
I fell down the steps on the Spring Hill side(@ 1:06 on the video link) of the “Dunbar Toll Bridge” during a summer rain storm.