Have you ever sent a text message complaining about somebody, screwed up and sent it to the person you were bitching about?
I kinda sorta did that today. I don’t want to get into specifics, but I sent Toney (I thought) a message about a strange phone conversation I’d just had, and mistakenly sent it to the person I’d been speaking with.
It wasn’t too bad, what I wrote, but it still makes my stomach expand and contract every time I think about it. I even went on the internet to see if there’s some way to recall a text message, if the recipient hasn’t read it yet. Heh.
Have you ever done something similar? Tell us about it, won’t you? Use the comments section below.
I worked on the “book” for three solid days starting Thursday, and didn’t make as much progress as I’d hoped. I was wanting to be at the halfway mark, Chapter Thirteen, by today. Not quite.
But it’s gonna take as long as it takes. It won’t serve me to rush through it. I don’t mind putting in the work, but I’d really like for this project to be moved to the next step, already. A request for a fourth draft would be mighty disappointing.
Oh well. As the insufferable assholes say, it is what it is.
If you ordered one of the limited edition summer shirts, it should have arrived, or will be arriving momentarily. With a few unfortunate exceptions…
As I was processing the orders last week (and watching the ’75 World Series as usual), I got to the end of size XL, but still had nine envelopes calling for them. WTF?
I checked my paperwork, and saw that I was ten shirts short. The nine going into the envelopes, and one for Steve. What the hell, man? I’d never run into this problem before. The T-Shirt Lady always delivers exactly what I order.
So, I called her and she couldn’t understand it, either. She says the shirt counts are confirmed at four different points throughout the process. This is a problem she almost never encounters.
I got the feeling, and it’s probably just my paranoia talking, that she didn’t completely believe me. And I hate that. But, dammit, I’m ten shirts short!
So, roughly 95% of the limited editions have been mailed, and nine people who ordered XL are in a temporary holding pattern. I’m really sorry if you’re one of the people affected. I’ll be sending you an email, hopefully today.
And I was at a grocery store yesterday afternoon, buying a six pack of Troeg’s Pale Ale (which is very good indeed), and something completely ridiculous happened.
There were two guys there, checking out the beer selection. And when they finally made their decision, one went to the cash register to pay, and the other continued browsing all the way on the other side of the room.
The cashier, a woman with a red, scaly face, asked for the man’s ID. Then she hollered at the other guy, who looked to be about 35 years old, and asked to also see his license.
“What?” he said.
“I need to see your ID, as well. I need to check everybody in the party.”
“But I’m not buying any beer,” the guy said. “I don’t have my wallet or my license with me, ’cause I’m not driving or buying anything.”
The woman turned the key off on the cash register, in a dramatic fashion, and told them she wouldn’t be selling them any beer. And with that, she turned her back on them and walked away.
The two men, who had long since passed the age of 21, looked at each other in astonishment. Then they shrugged and left the store.
I saw them a few minutes later in the parking lot, getting into a truck with Connecticut plates. They were still talking about what had just happened, completely baffled. I wanted to shout, “Hey, welcome to Pennsylvania!” and thought I’d better just stay out of it.
But is that stoopid, or what? In this state they act like beer is plutonium, or something. Yet everybody’s a drunk… Go figure.
In grocery stores (the few actually granted a license) beer is separated from the general population, and has to be purchased from a dedicated beer cashier.
You can’t just pick up a six-pack and a sack of chips. In that case you’d have to make two purchases, in two different parts of the store. And if you make the mistake of buying the beer first, they’ll wrap that shit up like you’re preparing to mail it to Europe or something. It’s crazy.
Anyway, I’m going to start my work week real soon, and had better call it a day here. Let me know about your embarrassing text message errors, or anything else, for that matter. How’s the weekend going, for instance?
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Alas, I have texted poorly with embarrassing consequences.
Where i work, we have to leave the phones in the cube area when we go to the factory area. Sometimes random phones laying around are too much temptation. Texts to the boss professing undying love are common. “Accidental” texts to the wife meant for the mistress have happened. Good times.
I’m a happy girl with my new t-shirt right here beside me. I’m saving it to wear on my upcoming trip to NC this week.
I meant to list an embarrassing consequence but I got sidetracked by the Tiger Woods interview…I’m just wishing and a hoping someone will ask him if he’s tried going back to the whores to see if that improves his stroke. Chickenshit reporters.
TOP 5!
I put a friendship through the long rebuilding program by signing off on a voice mail I was leaving, “You take care too!” then saying to my buddy next to me, ” I hope that sounded sincere.”
Always get the flip phone. Absolutely always.
Got nothing, just marking my spot. Happy Sunday, Surfers!
I got a couple unfortunate texts from my older sister last winter. One said something about licking. We never spoke of it.
A mate of mine sent a filthy text to his missus, telling her what he was going to do to her when he got home from the pub. Unfortunately “L” for Liz is right next to “M” for Mom” in his address book. Need I say more?
My cell is one step up from a corded phone, so the mere slowness of texting and keying in the proper address has so far resulted in no regrets. Knock on wood.
However I have a good one from my husband’s side of the family. One of his teenage cousins thought he was texting a hot chick about her very short skirt (in descriptive and wildly inappropriate detail), but instead he sent the missive to his mom. And he was slow on the uptake to realize his error. Hilarity ensued.
Right after we got our phones I had been texting back and forth with my husband. Sometimes as a reply but other times as a new message. Well later that night I get a text from him which I thought was strange since he was in the other room. It asked who I was. Um…okay. Turns out I was texting an 11 yr old boy because I had put his number wrong into my cell phone. Thankfully it hadn’t been anything X rated. Just banter back and forth. I might have cussed a little but what 11 yr old boy hasn’t heard their fair share of expletives?
Nothing on the texts but…
Ohio may be one fucked up state on a lot of things but getting your grubby little dick skinners on a cold six pack ain’t one of them. In my little town of 3,000 or so people we have one drive thru, one grocery store, two gas stations and four bars where cold beer can be purchased and carried out. Two more drive thru’s two miles north or south of town. You can’t swing a dead cat around here without hitting a place to buy beer.
Liquor on the other hand is a little tougher, that requires a trip to the state liquor store, usually found in the grocery store of most towns.
Some of the stores here in the Dallas area do the same thing… check the ID’s of anyone in the immediate area, whether a member of the party or not. I have even had some sales people “semi-jokingly” ask for my kids ID’s (what?!). I have a feeling their managers give the hell about not selling to minors… I feel kind of bad for them, because they most likely, deep-down inside, feel like complete idiots for having to do it.
I went to a garage sale yesterday and the guy was selling cans of Budwiser outta his cooler. I sat there and drank $5.00 worth and bought a lamp. One lady started giving him shit about selling beer without a license and he said, “Get the fuck outta here, lady.” My hero.
Check out this guy who confronted a reporter who was covering a marathon here in Huntsville, AL. It’s not real clear what he’s all upset about and he didn’t sound drunk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqRdelx3yzw
I wear a tin foil hat and I don’t text. Fuck off!
I’ve sent my fair share of embarrassing text message but the best one has got to be the one I sent out to EVERYONE in my phone telling them how drunk I was and how much fun I was having at the dog track gambling.
Northern Maine you can buy beer, wine and hard liquor right in the grocery store at nine o’clock Sunday morning. It all sits right across from the soda and chips.
When I was standing in line there, a woman walked up and said she really needed to spend some time with the Lord so she was going to go home and do that. She put a bottle of Lord Calvert up on the counter and that’s when I realized what I missed the most about Maine….the sense of humor, blended with the sense of reality.
I was preparing to extol the beauty of purchasing Grocery Store Booze, but Tammie beat me to it. The state of Maine closed all ABC stores somewhere around 20 years ago, since they were a drain on the state budget. We Mainiacs like our liquor. We need SOMETHING to do during the 9 months of winter.
I have texted people in error, sometimes with rather horrifying results. I have received some equally embarrassing texts in return.
Up here in this part of Canada. beer and wine can only be purchased from
– “the beer store” (actual name. It used to be Brewer’s Retail)
– the LCBO (Liquor control board of Ontario) sells liquor, wine and beer
– wine stores (can sell only wine).
Bars and restaurants are not allowed to sell booze and have it leave the premises. Corner stores, grocery stores etc cannot sell alcohol.
The drinking age is 19 but anyone 25 and under can expected to be carded. I insist that restaurant servers card the boy if we’re out to dinner (just because I’m that kind of dad).
Interesting side bar – there used to be brewery in our city that closed a while back. They had a drive through service where they sold their brands and loaded it in to your trunk for you. Then once closed, someone found another use for the brewery – anyone in to hydroponics, Jay & Silent Bob, or double rainbows will like this story…
http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v04/n079/a06.html
there used to be “a” brewery… I’m such a knob.
I once MSN’ Messengered
– my female boss “lovin you” … I had a window open for both her and she who must be feared and obeyed open and well oops.
– a customer the phrase “holy scope creep batman” when I meant if for a colleague but rather sent it to the customer while we were concluding a call to discuss more “wants” in a project
– the phrase “fuck me” meant in exasperation to the wrong Dave. Instead of one of my team it went to my VP.
I have in the past emailed a few things
– a love letter to the VP from my boss at the time (he who leaves his laptop unguarded in a room full of a-holes shortly after giving all a lecture about security should expect nothing less)
– I have emailed (several times) snitch type emails back to the person who has made an ass of themselves to me in an email. Once someone forwarded a mpeg of donkey sex to a group of us. I replied to him but first inserted what would appear to be me forwarding it to the president (a little copy/paste and editing). He sweated his ass off for a long weekend before I broke down and told him I spoofed it.
I once trashed my priest for something he did that I thought was stupid. Thought I was ending it to my cousin, but it went to the priest instead. When I realized it, I called him and told him to disregard it. He was actually cool about it, and I never heard anything more about it. Thank God, he got transferred. I was choir director at the time. The next priest eliminated my job (read: fired). The next priest and I had a talk, and he never rehired me. I had that job for 25 years. Catholic politics. Oh well, now I can spend Christmas in Florida instead of sweating over Midnight Mass. Sand between the toes, baby.
I don’t send text messages because…well, I just don’t.
But I did receive a late-night blisteringly filthy phone call from a drunk chick who thought she was calling her boyfriend. It went on for 10 minutes until I was laughing so hard she finally realized her mistake. Turns out it was a co-worker…I thought her voice was familiar. It was 2 weeks before she could even look at me.
If she did half the things to her boyfriend that she spoke of then the guy would have needed to be Life-Flighted. It was great.
I bought cigs in an Exxon the other day and had to show my ID. I would think the silver hair would be enough…BUT, NOOO!
The Evil Twin bought some lighters from the Mart of K a while back for our grill (we only use charcoal) and he was carded! He is 51 years old – but doesn’t look it – he told the cashier he was buying the lighters for our kids to play with. The cashier did not laugh.
The beer sale laws are the same in CA. I hate having to do it when selling beer, and, depending on how assholish you look, I may not bother to check, but yeah, we are supposed to ID everyone in the party. Even (i’ve never done this, myself) ID everyone in the fucking CAR, if only one person comes in to buy beer. Fuck that.
Joe
Every time they card me…(if it’s a girl)…I say, “Flattrey will get you everywhere. It’s worked…
Oh, and this is in the ballpark of a mis-sent text. About 4 apartments ago, about 3 AM, someone started banging on our door. I looked out, and nobody was there. A moment later, someone starts fucking with our bedroom window. As I was reaching for my baseball bat, an incredibly drunken voice came from outside – I’m sorry, baby, I’m so drunk, I love you! I lost my keys! I love you! Let me in you fuckin’ bitch! I love you!” So I opened the window, and was able to rectify the situation nonviolently – he had not just the wrong apartment, but the wrong COMPLEX.
Joe
The work Instant Messaging system was ‘screwed up’ one day and I started receiving weird IM’s from a co-worker who I did not know. The name being displayed was the person they wanted to converse with but the messages were being routed to me. Before things got out of hand I confessed to who I was. They sent me an email just to confirm and apologize.
The messages were about making fun of their manager in the last meeting.
Have you guys noticed the “if you are born after” calenders in gas stations? I think they’re bullshit. I always look at them and think to myself, “no way anyone born in the 1990’s can buy beer or smokes. No way!”
I’m getting old, I guess. Turn down your stereo and get off my goddamned lawn!
I have a girl friend who is very promiscuous, bounces from location to location, and has a new boyfriend every month. Before she moved the first time back in ’06, I got her a job with me at U-haul corp, working as a receptionist. Her and I had different jobs, and sat in different rooms, so we texted back and forth to communicate. One afternoon, she was telling me about some other random guy she started dating recently, and I texted what I thought was my other friend saying something like ‘Liz has got ANOTHER new boyfriend!’ And realized too late I’d sent it right back to Liz. I was mortified. I was quick to tell her I was sorry, that I’d sent it to her by mistake, and owned up to it. Luckily, she was cool with it and actually agreed with me that she does have a new bf every other day, and we are still friends.
That beer purchasing thing pisses me off too…I was in a gas station one day and a guy was in there with his 13 or 14 year old son, trying to buy a tall boy. The man was clearly in his late 30’s. There was a cop behind him in line, and I was behind the cop. Of course, the cashier obviously noticed the cop was there, and started yelling dramatically, “I am not going to sell you beer unless I see that kid’s ID that’s sitting out in your car!” The man, dumbfounded, just stood there, blinking and finally said, ‘That kid out there is my son!’ She shook her head, “Nope, I’ll have to see his ID!” The man at this point is getting very frustrated, the kid didn’t have an ID because he was 13 or 14 years old apparently, and she did not believe him. Of course, the cop had to step in and insert his douchebaggery. He started threatening to arrest the man, and just making a huge deal out of it. The man finally gave up and left. All for a MGD tall boy and a dumb ass cashier.
I remember one other night I was buying beer there, and that same cashier was there giving another kid a hard time, telling him she wanted everyone in his car to come in and give their ids.
Needless to say, I stopped going to that gas station.
Jeff, I plan on buying a shirt soon…how much is S&H? I also plan on sending some smokin’ fish pics from our concert in Wisconsin next weekend.
Worked checkout in a Virginia grocery store. Alcohol sales ended at midnight. Without fail on a Friday or Saturday night some biddy would pull her full cart up to the only register at 11:50 and the three or four drunks behind her would miss the chance to buy their beer. Register automatically locked out liquor sales at midnight, not a second later. It was a pain telling them they were out of time and out of luck. Ran into a few nasty ones.
I was in Chicago for a training simiar one time and that evening, several of us walked across the street to the grocery store and tried to buy some beer. Im frrom Tennessee, there were two guys from New Jersey, one guy from New York and a guy from Missouri. The lady at the check out told us we couldnt buy any beer because we all had out of state licences. We were all a little annoyed at this, and the guy from Missouri says ” What the fuck , just cause im from Missouri doesnt mean im not 21. Sell me the goddamn beer” She acted all nervous and sold us the beer anyway. On another note I lived in Michigan for a year and a half, never got a Michigan licence, i always had my Tennessee one , and never once got carded. Im 33
Brittney-I believe S&H is included in the price of the T-shirt. And can I get Liz’s number?
T-Farty, those signs piss me the fuck off. It’s like looking at the Playmate of the month and seeing she was born two years after you got out of high school. Fucking whore!
Yes, have sent…. as Grandfather said , ” there is nothing more expensive than regret’
WB-Thanks, I will hopefully order one soon. Speaking of shirts, funny quick story, my boyfriend and I went to the local 150 family picnic today, and he offered to buy me a t-shirt there, so I did. I pointed to the shirt I wanted, and the woman (completey serious) holds up a childrens sized pink v-neck and says, “Is this ok? They run a little small?” Not only was it a children’s shirt, but it wasn’t even the right one. I just wanted a simple regular t-shirt with a logo…I just told her, “No, that’s not the right one, I just want the regular t-shirt”…so she leaves, and comes back with another pink t-shirt, also not the right one, also tiny. She never did give me the right shirt…I ended up getting one that was close though. I’m not sure what was so hard about getting me the shirt that was being displayed on the wall, but there was a line 20 people deep and I wasn’t about to argue…even though I should of.
yes well i too live in pa and u can not buy beer ANYWHERE! my brother who was visiting from NY last week almost had a heart attack when i told him you couldnt buy beer at the grocery store. his exact quote was “man you guys have it rough here”. i couldnt agree more.
I’ll take that as a no for Liz’s number.
Goodnight all, tomorrow is going to be here soon.
I was in college, working for a newspaper when I got a 2 a.m. text from one of my sources in the sports information office. He mistook me for some apparently hot chick with a great rack and the same name, urging her for a bootycall.
Alas, I’m a guy with an unfortunate set of manboobs.An embarrassing apology text arrived in short order.
I hope I get my limited edition t-shirt soon. It hasn’t arrived yet.
This just in from Dallas…Late this afternoon a man was arrested outside a Denton liquor store where he had double parked his bus with thirty eight passengers abord and went in to purchace liquor. He had a six pack of Red Bull, a twelve pack of Colt45 and requested a bottle of Jim Beams. When asked for his ID, the suspect said all he had to do was give his, “Name, rank and serial number”, and repeated it over and over again while holding his hands to his ears .When the clerk in charge refused the purchace, the suspect urinated on the potato chip display.
I don’t text. I don’t receive texts. When I want to be available, I turn on my mobile. If it rings I answer it. When I don’t want to be available (say, 20 hours a day) I just turn the damn thing off. If somebody really needs to talk to me they can call back.
I was on 7/24 when my dad was living and I was running a data center. Since Dad is gone and I’m out of work for a while I choose when I want to engage in social intercourse and when I don’t.
.
WB…
Speaking of which, looks like Liz only does guys from Illinois. Maybe EVERY guy from Illinois, but only that. She has to draw the line somewhere, or perhaps Brittney is drawing it for her. There are about 4.8 million men of age in The Land of Lincoln, so Brittney must think you’re quite the implacable bastard. My impression of you has been quite the opposite, but that won’t help you with Liz because, not being from there myself, I remain in the slight majority of American men who haven’t slept with The Illinios Tornado, or whatever her nom de amor is.
You might try making random calls to Peoria and ask the man of the house, but without a formal intro from Brittney you’d probably go to the end of the line.
I’m just brainstorming here, trying to help out.
my best wishes as always…
jtb
I hate texting, I never text. So no wrong messages there. Oddly, I’ve never received a misguided text.
I don’t understand your strange Pennsylvania liquor laws. I remember being in college and driving to a concert in Pittsburg. we didn’t want to pay $5 for a beer at the concert so we did what was completely natural – we stopped at a gas station to buy beer. Where we were told that the only place we could buy beer was at a bar, and we had to carry it out. WTF??
When we lived in Teays Valley, I was headed into Big Bear (now defunct grocery store) when a carload of guys from out of state pulled up to ask where the nearest liquor store was. I pointed at the grocery store and they were all incredulous! “They sell liquor at the grocery store?” me: “Yep. Have a good day!”
I once mistakingly sent a text to a friend that was intended for my girlfriend. It read; Can’t wait to get home and get your knickers off (they’re fucking killing me!)
I thought I was being funny but it resulted in me saying ‘I’m only joking’ too many times to be comfortable. It could’ve been a lot worse.
Alcohol is sold with gay abandon in Scotland, to the point of being a bit of a problem.
No really! (well, maybe not the ‘gay’ bit!).
I am 44, and I have still never sent a text message. I have no use for such things. I have been at work and heard someone complaining about someone, and the person happened to be hiding in the room – and heard the whole deal.
This is why WV can’t have nice things.
Man Caught with Mannequin
Yes, I have accidentally sent an IM complaining about the bitchy receptionst… sent it TO the bitchy receptionist, instead of my co-worker. Hard to make good explaining that one, but I did my best.
Have also accidentally IM’ed a snarky comment to my boss, thankfully not ABOUT the boss, but he was nevertheless not the intended the recipient.
I generally make it a habit not to keep ANY instant message window open on my computer, except one, which is my co-worker, to whom I can say anything. Otherwise, I’m setting myself up for trouble. Of course, I should probably just refrain from bitching via IM, period… but it’s all that keeps me sane sometimes.
Case in point:
http://www.lamebook.com/2010/08/05/motherly-love/
Oh my heck!
I still haven’t figured out how to ‘text’ on my rotary dial phone. I’m sure mistakes will be made when I do figure it out, though….
I.D. checking is out of control. I understand these assy stores need to cover themselves, but it’s ridiculous. Hub and I were in a grocery store with our kid buying some things, including beer, and the bitch gave us a hard time because I didnt have my I.D.We were both almost 40. Said she couldnt let hub,who had his I.D. buy it because every one of us has to show we are over 21. I said what about my daughter, who was 7 then. She said kids dont need Id. Bullshit, talked to manager who let us through, then complained to corporate who agreed it was silly. I hate Shaw’s anyway. Asshats.
Good Morning Surf Reporters…..
I was once refused service at a Kroger in Virginia because I had an out of state (PA) license.
She said she couldn’t accept it and I blew a small gasket in the checkout line.
I believe I said out loud “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
I simply went down the road to the next market (Piggly Wiggly??) and had no problems whatsoever.
This has nothing to do about anything, but check out these wonderful color pics from Depression era USA:
http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2010/07/26/captured-america-in-color-from-1939-1943/