One day last week Toney came home with a hilariously oversized box full of snack cakes. One of her co-workers’ husband works for Big Cake, and she told Toney they’ve got the stuff coming out their ass, so to speak. So, she’s started off-loading it to her friends.
Apparently these gigantic cartons are going to be a regular feature at our house now… And all four of us will probably end up on Metformin.
I don’t want to say the name of the company, ’cause I never know who’s reading these things, but it’s some really good shit, man. I mean, seriously: PREMIUM snack cakes, in many different varieties. I’m taking two boxes of twelve to work today, to share the wealth with my co-workers, as well. We must have twenty remaining, and lots have already been consumed.
Anyway, I was wondering if you’ve ever worked for a company that gave you free stuff. Or radically discounted products, or anything along those lines? Fringe benefits, as they say…
I used to work with a guy who was formerly employed by 7UP, and he said that on every Friday each office employee was given a case of 7UP, and a case of beer. This was a just a standard perk of working there. I think they distributed various beers, and sodas.
And when I was in the music biz, we got copies of pretty much every CD the company released (a metric shitload, monthly), and I could get my name on almost any concert guest list, through my vast network of liars and backstabbers. I almost never paid for a concert when I lived in Atlanta, and went to hundreds.
I also negotiated a deal when I jumped from the music division to the video side of things, where I received a copy of every DVD released. This lasted for roughly three years, until some bean-counter began asking questions and eventually pulled the plug. Dammit! Shoulda got it in writing….
Today I don’t receive jack, but that’s OK. I’m happy to be employed. When I wasn’t, it blew a whole circus tent full of chimps.
But what about you? Have you ever had a job with great fringe benefits? Free products? Free services? Please tell us about it in the comments. And if you have no personal tales to tell, how about folks you know? I have a feeling most of the stories will be from the past, but I could be wrong.
I know this one was a quickie, but I had some stuff to mail and refuse to allow that to get away from me again. I can’t handle the stress and guilt…
See you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Follow Jeff at Twitter and Facebook
Steve in WV says
Law office I worked for in NC helped me a few times with free “make the speeding ticket go away” services. Sheriff Pusser was always waiting roadside up there for me to drive by.
A restaurant I worked for unloaded beef and ribs every Sunday night so they would have fresh inventory the next day. Good stuff.
Other than that, the others just take minutes of fof my life.
I’d throw those lunch cakes in the garbage. That shit is not good for you at all.
WB in OH says
They used to let me borrow the bucket truck, which came in handy for trimming trees. The new one requires a CDL so I’m out on that.
We have free coffee and Tylenol…
I was actually in the middle of reading yesterdays post when I told my co-worker to “go look at the picture of the dorito bag’ and it wasn’t there because there was already a new update. Crazy.
I used to work at Buffalo Wild Wings and they would give us all kinds of stuff. Promotional beer glasses, shot glasses, key chains, referee jerseys (to wear for games) etc. The ref jersey was nice enough for me to wear with a Halloween costume one year. I can’t part with it and I got it in 2005. One time I waited on a table of the guys who worked and promoted for Sam Adams and they gave me a really nice Sam Adams bottle opener that I cherished. Got a little too tipsy at the bar one night and borrowed it to the bartender I barely knew because she didn’t have hers, and forgot to go back and get it. I was crushed.
Granite the thing was cheap and whatever, but it was actually pretty big and took care of business.
I think my favorite thing I got from Buffalo though was my Sam Adams pint glasses. They were the NBA addition so the bottoms were basketballs: http://www.thebreweryoutlet.com/product/ALA-SAMADABAS
And my Konig Ludwig 23 oz. glass, but I may have actually stolen that from the Bier Stube and not got that from Buffalo, but either way.
I aquired so many of those glasses over time that my dad started a collection with them. That was definitely a perk to working there. That and the the wings.
I love that bottle opener. I have a wooden Beck’s opener that’s my favorite!
And the glasses are very cool!
I think it’s a goddamn travesty that you lost such a wonderful bottle opener. If you send me a mailing address via private message on Facebook, I’ll see that you get another one.
I have one like that!
WB in OH says
Here’s the one you need for those cold Illinois winters.
I hung out with Milt Pappas when I worked at the law firm and he introduced me to his cats. That was fun.
I get 40% off my home phone, cell phone, internet, and TV. But not on long distance, for some reason.
Joe T. says
Free concert tickets, free sporting event tickets (World Series, All Star game, PSU football, U.S. Open), people are constantly sending free food, and I drink beer for free every Friday morning! And that’s without even thinking about it. If it’s free, it’s for me!
When I worked for an ad agency, one of our vendors sent us a box of donuts every Friday. And they were the good, old fashioned jelly donuts with granular sugar that would stay stuck under your nails and the corners of your pie hole for hours. Also, towards the end when the three partners decided to retire, I got loads of art supplies and office furniture.We would also go out to lunch, drink, come back around 4;00 and decide if we should go home or go to Happy Hour. Plus, the company owned a boat and every Friday in the summer we’d take it across Long Island Sound and they’d spring for dinner. That was a joyous place to work.
The law firm I worked with was pretty generous with time off when I went to college.
The company I’m with now? I got a free cup of coffee the other day. I know, don’t get jealous.
Does banging the secretaries count?
It depends, are they hot?
Doesn’t matter, got laid.
Chuck in Belpre says
Oh yes it does, my friend.
No. No it doesn’t. What matters is if they have the key to the cabinet where they lock up all the stuff with the company logo that used to be for everybody but is now only for customers.
*sigh*… what I won’t do for a laser pointer/LED light/crappy pen.
Never got any free shit at work other than cheap pens or an Easter ham.
Did have the best health insurance in the world since 1993. Blue Cross / Blue Shield with a $5,000 deductible, but the company gave me a Visa Debit card with $5,000 on the card the first of the year, so the huge deductible was covered 100%, not one cent out of pocket, no co-pays, nothing. Even covered prescriptions, glasses, and contacts.
Now, we have new management and they are screwing all of us out of our good insurance. Beginning Jan. 1, 2012, I must pay $162.00 per month for insurance plus $200 deductible per person, plus 15% of all medical after that.
I figured it out, and if all 3 of us have a bad health year, I just took a $5,544.00 annual pay cut. Fucking pricks.
I feel your pain… All the perks I said below are great but our health insurance seems to have an annual price hike which we take in the ass every time.
They use to pay it 100%. Now I pay roughly the same as you. But since there is only 2 of us, I have a very hard time with the amount she charges us. She says she “only” charges us 25%; they pay 75%. But when one of the girls here asked to see the statement, she was gone within a month. Things that make you go “Hmmmm”.
I guess I shouldn’t complain the way things are now a days. But I also see the money that comes in and we collect on a weekly basis. Not to mention how we have caught the Mrs in many lies. Can’t be trusted.
Your post sounds like my sister’s story. She is a dental hygienist in an office with Doctor, wife, and two knuckle head front desk girls.
The wife runs the office and lies about everything. According to her, they are about to go broke any minute.
One front desk girl sees all the numbers and reports the real information to my sister and the office is doing very well, they just don’t want to pay the employees decent money.
Oh yeah…We hear them cry poor every week. I imagine that’s why they literally take a half a dozen trips to Florda every year, among others, live in a $500,000 condo and just had another built in Florida. Multiple boats, cars, and rental properties. Waa-fuckin-waa. Believe me, I don’t begrudge anyone their success. But don’t tell the only two employee’s you have you can’t afford our health care, and give me 53 cent raise within the last 3 years to “off set the cost of the increasing health care deduction in your paycheck”. WTF ever.
It is bittersweet for me. I really like the doc. Fun to work with, we mesh well. But the wife is killing us with her bitter cheap bullshit, and micromanaging us to death. My boyfriend says they play good cop/bad cop and not to be fooled by him. My rose colored glasses are starting to fog up.
Oh, I forgot, the office I work for now gives us free lunch from anywhere on Fridays. Once in awhile, if my boss if feeling gracious he will take us out to dinner. Then the following day he will be extra mean to us as punishment for the good meal. We can’t win.
I worked at the original Husson’s Pizza in St. Albans in 1979.
That was a pigout-fest for a bunch of zitsters.
Free pop as long as you were on the clock, and all you could eat on your breaks. Then there was the prep work, cooking sausage, cutting pepperoni, grating cheese, gorging all the while. All this and a whopping $2.90 per hour!
We couldn’t have paid to have a better time. The only thing missing was beer.
my husband worked at a warehouse for a major hardware store chain and they treated the employees like garbage. they actually wrote him up for leaving 1 hour early when i went into labor with our daughter. the only good thing they did for people was give them a free turkey on thanksgiving and a free ham on christmas. hes long gone from that job and now has a great job.
Years ago I worked for a video rental store and got free video rentals that was cool. Hubby went to RJR many years ago and told me that had giant tubs of Camel cigarettes everywhere, just take what you need. That’s not allowed any longer. At my last job I could get 50% off obituaries
Gee, I guess they where trying to entice the young crowd with that obit perk. =-)
hot fuzz says
Goes hand in hand with the free cigarettes
Jersey Scott says
I got free rentals when I ran my video store too. Before that there were employee discounts at the Camelot music and Suncoast video. Now I get 20% off my phone bill thru my cushy gig at the Post Office. Not sure where the connection comes in, but I’ll take their 20%
I guess I should point out – the house we live in was supplied by Beloved’s boss. They treat us ver y well.
Off topic – today is my wedding anniversary. 14 years already with my lifer. Anyway, I ran out at lunch to get a bottle of wine but they didn’t have what I was looking for and the lady said it would be in later in the month. OK, so I shop around and selected a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon I had never heard of but the sign said “It’s back!!!” so I figured it must be good.
The lady was ringing up my order and had to go on and on about how her husband absolutely LOVES the wine I chose. Why do I get the feeling they are trained to say shit like that even if I was standing there holding a bottle of Ripple?
Happy Anniversary! Hope you and Beloved have a wonderful evening!
You may laught at the no masturbation sign on the bunker cam, but that was a serious issues onboard the USS Denver. The shower stalls all connect and you would be taking a shower and the ship would lean and send a swirl of man sauce over your feet, freakin’ nasty!!! So yes we put up signs.
I worked on a food nazi show called Top Chef Masters and we got to eat the food that they make.we also got a case of wine for being there.
When I worked for one of the large cell phone companies my service was free, as were the occasional phone. Voice, data, additional services, al free.
Family got 500 anytime minutes, free nights and weekends, free mobile to moible, unlimited data at $10 per month. Later it went to $15.
I left a few years ago, but kept an old plan and it’s $30 for all that with my Blackberry.
In another job I traveled a lot, so plane tickets, rental cars, food and other expenses were free. If I was going somewhere cool (like Hawaii) I’d stay for a while on my hotel points and have a very low cost vacation.
A couple of others gave away free swag from time to time.
Now, I get the chance to get injured, assaulted, puked, pooped or pee’d on, or pick up a free disease like HIV or Hep C for about half the money.
Oddly enough I’m happier now.
Welp, I work for a plastic surgeon for the last 8 years. Have to be here for at least 5 years for a major surgery to be done for free. Just had lipo in August. I only had to pay anesthesia and OR fee’s, which we can’t control. I’m sure he worked like a dog on me. Probably had to wear a sling on his arm afterwards.
Botox/Dysport is available if we want it. The company usually supplies a vial or two throughout the year for the staff, at no cost, for all the business we give them.
We have an IPL (intense pulsed light) machine I do hair removal and light treatments with. I treat everyone else here but myself because it HURTS LIKE HELL. Thanks, but I’ll shave…
All the products we sell we can get at cost. Or use the samples if we get them.
I worked for another plastic surgeon years ago who has since passed away. His philosophy was that if you don’t try it or have it done, you can’t sell it to someone else. But unfortunately, the Mrs (who runs this office) tries to charge us for the most minute things. So the doc does a lot of this for us without her knowledge because he knows how cheap she is.
executive lunch lady says
I work for a company that provides free lunch everyday for all. We have a beer fridge if we want a beer. free health insurance, parties out the wazoo, Fridge stocked full of about every kind of soda or juice, free starbucks everyday, almost evry kind of cereal, fresh fruit and yogurts. Not to mention the toaster bar, snack bar, and all the cold cuts and candy you can eat! and to top it off minium of 2 weeks paid vacation from the day you start not after a year! we also have unlimited sick time. man this is an awesome company to work for!!!
Are they hiring?
executive lunch lady says
sure we are hiring but only through headhunters. are you in the houston area?
Can I put in my resume? That is one hell of a company you work for! Free Health Insurance is a huge plus. I pay $400 a month for Beloved and me.
executive lunch lady says
by headhunter only but if your in the houston area I can find out which ones they use for which depts.
Wat d you say, bikerchick? We heading to Houston?
Forget it Jake. It’s Houston.
madz – I’m packing my bags sister. You’re in NY, I’m in PA. We could Thelma and Louise our way down!
As long as we don’t go flying over a cliff, I’m in!
Chuck in Belpre says
Herbie Hancock does your hiring? Cool!
Well, album. I was thinking of ‘Chameleon’.
I have known many independent corporate recruiters. I can assure you that Herbie would have nothing to do with an enterprise that hired exclusively through these headhunters. Herbie is filled with the spirit and these companies are entirely devoid of it. Herbie is full of S?ka Gakkai; these companies are full of shit.
Just a brief observation from a 40-year corporate guy.
We have salesmen that come in and bring cookies, pies, donuts and what-not. At Christmas time, it’s a freakin’ smorgasbord, I’ll tell ya…..shrimp, ham, cheese, nuts, Godiva chocolates, praline pecans, etc. I think we all gain about 10 pounds over the holidays. The best perk though, is sporting event tickets. The companies we do business with are season tickets holders just for the sake of ‘smoozing’ up to the people that spend their money with them. I can call and get tickets to ice hockey, baseball or football. Always something to do year round.
The only regular perks was shop time to work on your own projects.
Not much at my current job except the occasional free coffee from somebody. Merchandise freebies seem to disappear to the higher echelons and thier kids. Rat bastards…
I suppose this counts, but I can get a bit of a discount from various industrial suppliers around the city–but thats a last resort as they all have walk-in prices that are astronomical even with a discount (The kind of places where nothing has a price tag as they cater mostly to people with accounts and negotiated prices).. So its not much more than a last resort anyway…
Oh…my boyfriend gets some pretty nice things too. He gets a new work truck every few years. A Dodge Ram 250 Deisel with the works…beautiful! The only thing it doesn’t do is cook his dinner. But then again he puts 50K miles+ on it in one year. His cell phone is paid for as well.
Last year we went to 2 Steeler games. His company has season tickets. One was in one of the clubs. That was the SHIT!! Fantastic food and drinks available.
They also own a condo at Seven Springs Mountain Resort we use at least once a year.
hot fuzz says
“A Dodge Ram 250 Deisel with the works…beautiful! The only thing it doesn’t do is cook his dinner. ”
I was in Princess Auto today – hardware, tools, Farm stuff, surplus… in the surplus section they had a grill (like a George Foreman) that you plug in to the cigarette lighter.
He could do a steak if he was working late.
HA!! I stand corrected!! Very cool.
My wife is a clothing designer so almost every piece of clothing I own was either free or at a great discount. The running joke among my friends is that I am sponsored by her company because some days my entire outfit will be from them. Also, most of her friends from college work for big clothing companies so I get to take advantage of their discounts as well. It’s pretty sweet. As an even greater bonus, she’s the only girl I have ever been with who encourages my feedback on (therefor encouraging me to look at) other women’s bathing suits when we are at the beach.
hot fuzz says
I hate jealous women.. I really do. My wife usually gives me a nudge if she thinks I’ve missed a pretty girl. Ya gotta love self confident ladies.
I worked at a movie theater. All the popcorn you could eat and all the cokes you could drink, Bring Your Own Cup. The real perk was all the movies you could watch at any theater (large, metropolitan area) because we “reciprocated” with the competition.
Tipsey McChugney says
I wish I could say that I work for a diamond retailer that allows us to fill our pockets with free diamonds every day that we clock in.
As it is, I do get a nice little gift card every thanksgiving from my present employer to use at a local grocery chain, and another little gift card for Xmas for use at Costco. i’m livin’ the high life, I tells ya……
Best of (so far):
>2009 Masters on Sunday
>2011 Masters on Saturday
>Keurig Coffee all day long, any flavor/any blend and I’m the only hard core coffee drinker
>My current most favorite thing ever, my Verizon HTC Incredible
And, a new one today–“I ordered you a Southern Living subscription–let me know when it starts.”
I worked for an energy drink company and perk #1. was all the opened cases of the stuff you could carry home that didn’t get given away (the roaches would break into the cans, no joke! in the garage if they weren’t wrapped in plastic anymore) and # 2. riding in a huge lifted pickup truck through otherwise closed streets during Mardi Gras, throwing 16oz cans of cold drinks to/at drunk tourists and locals alike. Everyone loved that truck.
I have never held a job that had such perks.
The closest thing I can think of is when a friend of mine worked at the local college liquer store. i would hang out there a lot, since I didn’t know anybody else at the time. The owner would frequently come in, open a bottle of hooch, and do shots with us. There was also a small kitchen in one of the storage rooms. We would invite local college persons of particular gender back there for discounts on merchandise.
My wife used to be an EMT. She got to go to a bunch of cool concerts and college football games for free.
I hear at Blue Bell Ice Cream they eat all they can before they sell any.
We can buy at dealer cost any product the company sells, which is audiovisual and related gear. But it’s all pro-level stuff, mostly not really suited for home theater use. I have no use for a Biamp AudiaFlex at home.
There is also free health insurance (of modest quality) for the employee, extra cost for his or her family. Free coffee too, but sodas are $1 in the vending machine.
Every so often a manufacturer’s representative (salesman) comes in to talk about their products and buy us lunch. Today Christie Digital bought us sandwiches from Panera.
And then there is the might annual industry trade show, which I get to attend every few years, where the manufacturers throw lavish parties for us, their dealers. One company in particular is famous for this – they rented out the Hard Rock in Orlando this year, the Philips Arena in Atlanta in 2004, an amusement park in Vegas one year… food, drinks, bands, activities, all free. Good stuff. Except for the tiki bars at the Philips – they seemed good, but next day turned out to be not such a great idea.
Chuck in Belpre says
I get no perks. Boss is a gold-medal winning prick. Oh, wait. I’m self-employed.
Years ago I thought about starting my own company, but I decided that the boss would be a scumbag supreme, and all the employees would be worthless lazy shits.
Bob Dobbs says
I used to be the head brewer (aka brewmaster) at a brewpub. The restaurant side did upscale pizza, & the typical other pub fare.
needless to say I ate well and consumed my share of beer. Anyone up for a 7am taste testing of beer at the height of fermentation -mmmm yeast. I also featured a guest tap and that became a free river of toher great beer as samples were constantly being dropped off in order to claim the prized spot for a 1 keg rotation. Oh yeah, did I mention the beer festivals where they put you up in a posh suit at a resort, feed & entertain you all for the donation of 20 or 30 gallons of beer? The best was a free 1/2 day whitewater rafting trip. Mercy, those were some great perks. Being in a college town also meant that the staff was nubile young coeds that had it all “way up firm & high”.
used to work at the Hilton. We got first pick out of the lost and found once an item had been there for three months. Some very, very nice shit got left behind too…and of course the expected weird shit too. The kind of weird shit you only pick up wearing a rubber glove, using a kleenex. nuff said?
place my husband worked for made the mistake of working him nearly to death and then letting him go without notice. or checking to see whether he’d turned in his cardlock gas card. our perk was one year of free gasoline. helps to make friends with the accountant in payroll, kids. remember it.
hot fuzz says
I’ve worked in a few restaurants over the years so free pop (soda?) … free food… . free draught….
When I was the controller at a school bus company, we’d take our customers (the school boards) to Leaf games in the private boxes. As well, Blue Jay games in private boxes too. One of our customers was Live Ent so I was able to see Phantom of the Opera for free… front row after the orchestra, dead center. It was right in the accoustic sweet spot too (so I’m told).
I “earned” or “won” a few things too… A trip to St Lucia. A $2k gift certificate from Future shop.
I used to do some programming for a group of food brokers so I would get cakes; gourmet cookies; tomato sauces – Stanislaus is the shit, man!!!; all kinds of fish (canned and frozen); all kinds of meats (including 2 huge hip o’ beef – the kind they slice off at the buffet; and I got to work with some of the prettiest ladies I’ve ever met- and they loved me…ah… the good ol’ days.
I worked for plastic extrusion company that had a private box for Leaf games and twice I was able to use it for my project team. I brought my son (I think he was about 8 or 9) and couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have this really nice lady give him pop and bring him a big bowl of candy all for himself BEFORE he had pizza, lasagna, spag mt balls…in this really nice private box at the Air Canada Center to see the Leafs. He was cute, he turned to me and asked if this is what luxury is. I was going to say something about a hummer from the attendant but that would have been too hard to explain to a kid.
Where I am now, we get discounts on all sorts of family things for the choosing, including a deep discount on Cirque du Solei (a customer). Free gormet coffee; cheap pop machines; free flu shots; and pretty cheap health insurance. We usually can order lunch if anyone has to work through noon. I always try to promote 3 or 4 people for our attaboy awards ($100 of lovely parting gifts). As the “boss” I always pick up lunch on my (personal) dime. My group works pretty long hours and it’s an easy way for me to say thank you to them. Add to that that we let people teleconnect – so we pay for a second phone line and reimburse $40 for the internet.
Sorry, ramblin like a depressed drunk here,
Have a good night folks.
Phil Jett says
11-12 years ago here, we had free lunch brought in everyday, free coffee, soda, and every snack you could imagine. I went on two or three boondoggles a year. One year I went on an all expense paid trip to Vegas including massages, drinks, meals, strip clubs, and $200 in chips.
Three months later I went to Yellowstone, all paid for again. Stayed in a cabin, hiked, rafted, sat and drank in the river, sat and drank in Chico springs then partied the nights away in Gardiner, Montana.
I went to golf tourneys, pro baseball, football and college football games, all paid for by our or another company.
All gone now except for free coffee. Some days I miss Enron.
Yeah we absorbed so e of enron being in Houston. But it turns out that hey are good people, not the dregs of humanity that are in jail , probation, parole or dead!
Nothing from me on the perks deal…but my ex-father in law had it made! He worked for Darigold (big dairy company out west, like Broughton’s back East, but huger). He had two freezers and two refrigerators to hold the perks. Evidently, when a pallet of dairy products was even slight damaged, everything on it was given to the employees. There was ice cream (they packaged Haagen Daaz) filling the freezer, and there was this amazing amount of milk and chocolate milk, plus butter in the fridge.
Free (comp) boxes of comics, for 19 years now. Love giving them away at Halloween just to see the looks on kids faces! Dentists everywhere hate me…
That sounds like the coolest swag of all. On Halloween, should you see a tallish trick-or-treater on your porch with a grey beard costumed as Dusty Hill from ZZ Top, feel free to give me — I mean him — several comic books if you can spare them.
And if you want to throw in a joint, no problem. That’s how I usually read my comics anyway.
Comics, I can provide. Illegal substances, I cannot. Archie has introduced Pakistanis, interracial love and now, gays to Riverdale. But Dilton hasn’t learned how to cook meth. Yet.
Just for the record, there’s a difference. In the Great Pacific Northwest, if you handed out meth to tall tricksters you’d soon be talking to tall tricksters with badges. If you handed out joints, the badge people might even join you after shift.
In any case, I’m happy to settle for the comics. Especially if they still have the ad in back for the x-ray glasses that can see through clothing.
You are too funny! We don’t need no stinkin’ badges…
Those x-ray glasses ads were awesome. Like the 304 piece Cowboys and Indians or Army Men set for $1.99…
lori in cbus says
i work for a financial institution that will remain nameless because if I tell someone where I work, I get blamed for the mortgage housing crisis bullshit.. take responsibility people! anyhoo,
we get free coffee, ice and water.. on the other hand, the cafeteria charges outrageous $ but at least the food is good..
My apartment complex is like a hotel.. in the lobby is a bar area with free starbucks coffee, hot chocalate, tea and free beer in the kegarator.. wine and cheese tastings, happy hour (i drink my dinner on those nights..) on occasion, pool parties with food catered in from restaurants around the area, free pop beer etc.. then the movie theater in the lobby has free popcorn.. very tasty.. hell alot better than work perks.. haha
Bill in WV says
Sounds like a great place to live. But, is all of that free stuff built into your monthly rent? Likely so.
lori in cbus says
I added up what I was paying for a mortgage, prop tax, insurance etc. When I was married and I am paying a lot less now.. And the peace n quiet is priceless. Some people like fancy cars, I wanted a nice safe place to live with some perks.. J-)
Big Bear in OH says
Worked for a major cell phone company for a couple years–got all kinds of free swag. I had three or four blackberries, a couple iphones, and all the bluetooth headsets that I could ever not use…plus your typical phone swag and tons of free stuff through “points” systems. Paid for an entire christmas just in points one year. Also got some awesome insurance and 401k matching among other perks. Plus, any time they’d send me for travel I stayed in the nicest hotel in the area, in the best suites, with all the perks one could ask for…damn, I miss the mobile phone industry.
Dad works for a major heavy truck company and gets sent on luxury vacations every year for “conventions” that mainly consist of drinking, sunbathing and driving supercars and race boats. Consider me envious of that lifestyle in general.
Had an uncle that worked on a ship for a major oil company that used to send us Leatherman Pocketknives, Oakley Sunglasses, Pelican Gun Cases and good quality overalls every time he came back from a trip on the ocean. When you’re the captain, it turns out you can take all the “consumables” that nobody used up during the trip–apparently Helly Hansen Jackets are a consumable item.
My Aunt worked at a Safeway and she brought me two huge boxes full of beer. All kinds of shit I’d never seen before or since. Some of it had chinese writing all over it, and most of it was horrid. But I was glad to get it.
My cousin and I have a masonry construction company. I got some guys to pour me a new patio, lay some brick pavers around my flower beds and shit like that. I got a buddy Tony that’s into all kinds of shit. One time he came over to watch a game and mentioned that I needed a new roof. A few days later I came home and there was a brand new roof on my house. And it was the good stuff too, architectural shingles, the 30 year ones. I didn’t pay a dime and I didn’t ask any questions either. I think he’s into somekind of gangster shit. Nice guy though.
Lol, gangster shit!! Atleast you got a new roof out of it though!
I’m not shitting. It’s an awesome roof. And he did it without even asking me. I almost shit my pants when I drove up and saw it. He’s fun to party with but I know he’s into some crazy shit. I got a new privacy fence and he asked me if he could bring a guy over for a “visit”. I said “sure”. I had no idea what he was up to. Him and another guy took this dude into my back yard, shut the gate, and beat the fuck out of him. It’s weird though, he does all kinds of crazy shit but then he got all upset one night while we were having a BBQ in my back yard. My neighbor Dan openly grows marijuana in his back yard, and you can clearly see it from my back yard.
Tony said, “Jason, you got some fucking greasers growing dope right there where your kids can see it. What the fuck?” He wanted to go over and “talk” to him. But I explained to him that Dan wasn’t a “greaser” and my kids have no idea what marijuana looks like. But it had him all upset. Strange.
“Tony” sounds like “Uncle Paulie” from GoodFellas “Guy went into the joint for 20 years just for saying hello to someone with dope. I don’t need this shit.” as he plans the next whack job.
Long-time lurker, first time poster. I work for an ISP. I get unlimited DSL and mobile service for free. At the office, we get a soda machine on free vend and all the stress you can eat.
We just got “re-organized” again today.. Hopefully I’ll still have a job at the end of it. Such are the hazards of the IT industry
Welcome to the “Big Show,” Rick. Hope you’ll post more, and best of luck on the reorganization and the job situation!
Seriously, if it weren’t for Jeff and all the awesome people who post here, I’d probably be more insane than I already am.
Welcome aboard, Rick!
I once worked for a company where I was given free tickets to practically every Dallas Stars hockey game. The seats were either 4 rows up from center ice, or they’d host me and whomever I’d like to invite in one of the suites. I’m not a big hockey fan though, so alot of times I’d end up giving them away or turning them down. I was also given free tickets to several concerts and the Ringling Bros Circus at the same venue.
Oh yeah, I was also invitied to watch a Dallas Cowboys pre-season game in one of the suites at the old Cowboys Stadium, which is now demolishe (sniff).
Then I quit my job to stay home with my kids. What the HELL was I thinking???
Ahhhh, those were the days.
Our company is pretty cool- 3 weeks vacation starting your very first year, and all the coffee, soda, juice and assorted snacks you can consume. But no high end deals.
Oh wait…did have one job with some perks. When I worked for a mortgage company, all the lenders would offer ongoing training to the mortgage people and real estate agents. We actually got credit on our licenses for it. Actually, the training wasn’t much more than a brief sales pitch, followed by a catered lunch. Morning training was good also, because they spared no expense on the donuts and danishes. When deciding where to go to lunch each day, we’d look over all the flyers from the lenders, then pick the place with the best lunch. Olive Garden catering was always good, as was this excellent bbq joint in Seattle. And if the pickings were slim, we could always get our boss to take us to Anthony’s Homeport!
i am a screenprinter..owned my own biz for 20 years and printed shirts for a local group of radio stations…i too had the concert ticket thing for over 15 years!!!! and i’m not talking one or two…sometimes i was given handfulls!!!! but alas all good things come to and end as did this a few years ago 🙁
Tipsey McChugney says
Speaking of binge benefits, I once tried to sit down and drink an entire keg of beer. I didn’t get very far, however. There’s a lot of beer in a keg.