The oldest Secret is on a multi-day field trip at the moment, and it’s going to be weird not having him making his enormous noise around here. In fact, the whole thing makes me mildly uneasy. He’s never been away from us for an extended period, except with my parents.
But I’m sure it’ll be fine. I mean, they’re in the hands of school teachers…. Level-headed, responsible school teachers…
Holy shit! We’ll never see him again!!
But seriously, folks. They’re not allowed to bring cell phones, and can’t have any outside contact whatsoever. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I can certainly understand it from the school’s perspective; they don’t want distractions and constant interruptions by overprotective parents. But at the same time… it feels a little like a hostage situation.
What do you think?
I went on a similar trip when I was in sixth grade, to Washington D.C., and had a great time. And I’m almost certain we didn’t have cell phones in 1975. That’s right, isn’t it? They never had rotary-dial mobile phones, did they? But I also can’t recall being under a strict communications lock-down. Ya know?
Coincidentally, a friend sent me this picture a few days ago. It was taken on that same D.C. trip, and as far as I can tell, I’m not in the shot. But who knows? It’s all distorted, like a 1968 album cover. I can’t recognize half the kids in it. In fact, I can’t even discern gender in a couple of cases.
But dig those crazy hats! I think we had to wear them so chaperones could keep track of us easier.
One of my most vivid memories from that trip has nothing to do with the incredible monuments, the sense of history, seeing the White House for the first time, or even the fact Stevie Wonder was staying at our hotel(!).
No, it was a large black woman at a cafeteria where we ate breakfast every morning. She had a tray completely filled with empty glasses, and poured a pitcher of orange juice across the whole thing, just moving from glass to glass with no interruption in flow. So the juice was going in between, as well as into the glasses. Every one of them was just as sticky as hell…
And that’s my most vivid memory from the trip.
I mentioned “level-headed” teachers a few minutes ago, and it was sort of a joke. But only sorta. I have an impression, and I could be wrong, that the teaching profession attracts an inordinately high percentage of kooks.
Am I mistaken about that? What are your thoughts? And if you agree, what do you believe are the reasons? Also, I’d like to know about other kook-heavy professions. We need to make a list. Use the comments section below.
And, just to be fair, I’d like to hear about your good teachers too. I had some really bad ones (Mrs. H.), and a few who blatantly hated me (Mrs. W.), but there were some good ones, as well. One, in particular, encouraged me to write, and was a positive influence. I was a sarcastic little shit, and probably difficult to take, but she went out of her way for me.
Her name is Mrs. Knighton, and she was very pregnant when I had her for English. And check it out, here’s the kid she was carrying. He’s the host of a TV show! Weird, man.
So, tell us about one really bad teacher you had, and one really good one. You know, if you’re so inclined.
And I’m going to link to today’s Mockable post, and call it a day here, folks.
Thanks for the continued support, I appreciate it sincerely.
See ya tomorrow!
Good Morning Surf Reporters……
too many bad teachers to count, not enough good ones to mention.
And as far as professions filled with kooks, has to be without a doubt the psychology/psychiatry field. Most of them are just as fucked up as their patients. Probably helping themselves to some self prescribed mind candy too.
Sophomore year of high school I had a science teacher who began acting extremely odd; became moody and friendly and then angry and mean,all over a period of a few weeks. Subsequently he began attending class with a little rubber doughnut to sit on while teaching. We, as a group, proceeded to heckle, generally torment, and berate the poor fellow, and I was allegedly the ringleader…I was a bad kid.
Then the weird part happens, in a crescendo of torment one afternoon, in front of the entire class, he angrily pulls me aside into a small office/storage space for the science classroom, and cries. He explains that in the past few weeks his wife left him, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, and had a testicle removed a few days before. The tears on his face, and the sad story laid out before me produced the exact response anyone would assume a 15 year old mean boy would have.
I walked out of the room and instantly announced it to the class.
“Mr. C****** only has one nut!!” I also proceeded to nickname him “The missing ball and chain” which I felt recapitulated both his loss of testicle and loss of wife all in one phrase.
I was a bad kid. That guy was a kook.
At my high school the shop boys had a shop teacher they didn’t like so when he wasn’t looking they put white lead in his coffee. Ended up having to take the poor man to the hospital and have his stomach pumped.
I’m bored outta my mind, reading over some of the archives for the third or forth time. Found this little gem.
Jeff Kay on Andy:
http://thewvsr.com/Jeff%20Kay%20on%20ANDY.mp3
love the posts from “Pagan & SkullyWV”
Want to Catholic School……and had some of the same Teachers my Mom had and some of them are still there! Most were pretty good, their was on we swore was a Lesbo, Miss B…..Hated the boys and loved the girls like they were her sisters.
@ tiff – You, kooky? No way!!!
@ Jason – What a hilarious piece of Andy gold!
@ DougInCincy – The shoe can be on the other foot dude. That was a bit cruel even for 15 year old. I went through a divorice and then later had a vasectomy so I kinda know the turf. But at least I didn’t need the doughnut. The jewels are still there, they just aint hooked up.
Speaking of cruel, today’s Further Evidence has a very saddening story that happened in a city I once called home.
@ Shiny Rod – ‘they just ain’t hooked up’ – that’s classic.
Speaking of sleep, take 3 tylenol PMs and try to whack off before you pass out. It’s impossible.
@Shiny Rod – That’s a very sad story. What’s even more sad are the ignorant & callous comments after the story.
I went to Catholic gradeschool. We had a priest that would drink…. a lot. After mass we would count the children’s envelopes while the men would drink shots of booze and smoke cigars! We had a slow boy in class and we could hear this priest yelling at him in the confessional. “Whatta ya mean you don’t have no sins!!!! made confession a traumatic experience for us all. I would go in and make up a bunch of sins and then say I had lied. Crazy times. The nuns were pretty much sadistic biatches. They had all kinds of sadistic tortures for children who did not tote the line. In Catholic Highschool we had a nun who would line up the girls on one side and the boys on the other and tell us that the girls were all whores and the boys wrere all sex maniac drug heads…good times eh? I guess you could understand that I don’t follow the Catholic doctrine these days.
on a lighter note I have been getting to the band “The Decemberists” excellent music, a bit dark in the lyrics but cool none the less.
I guess we could have all used cell phones to get us out of those situations….
Had some great teachers, the best were the craziest, the worst was my weight lifting instructor who threatened to fail me becuase i wouldnt run laps ( i had been hit by a car btw and had just had knee surgery) he also had his daughter come into bring your daughter to work day or some sh*t and the way he eye f*cked her i should have called social services… ewwww.
the girls actually logded a complaint and the vice principal came down and watched of course coach $tretz didnt eye hump us then, he was a perv not a moron
also the people i know who have become teachers were the worst students and the biggest partyers….
@ NDfaninAZ – It amazes me that some people are so insensitive. The woman’s husband and son where standing there watching all this unfold. I bet they are getting a lot of calls from lawyers ya think.
@ Jason – Would you says those horny little makaks see camel toe? Or are fixated on the banana?
Is this website updated monthly?
That should be Macaque, my bad people. The “m” word I just found out is the Belgian form of the “n” word. I must apologize for my ignorance. You can thank former Senator George Allen for updating us on th euse of the term. The only time I see Belgians are when they are face down drunk and I hate their beer.
@ Ray – as of late “weakly”. Jeff’s a busy man now a days.
BREAKING NEWS: “Scranton Man Retreats To Yurt – Fambly members very concerned about his mental state of mind”
My worst teacher – hands down – was my kindergarten teacher. She was mean and scary. I have a vivid memory of being 5 years old, on the way to the library with the class, when she was randomly asking kids questions about the alphabet…she got to this one little girl next to me with a soft spoken voice (clearly afraid of the teacher too) who answered her question correctly, but the teacher mis-heard her and lit into her like Nazi’s trying to get a confession…and I was too afraid to stand up for the girl. I still feel bad about that now…30 years later. I should have said something, defended the weak, and all that, but I was too interested in not having that wrath pointed at me!
My best teachers were always math teachers. Mr. McClain used to stroll through class on test days saying (in a deep, calm voice) “you know the answer…you just don’t know you know the answer…” He was a good guy full of faith in his students and their promise for the future. He taught us how to do income taxes in 6th grade…it has proved to be one of the most helpful lessons of middle school as I am now an accountant!
I am a teacher and am a bit alarmed at the low esteem many of you hold teachers. I do know a few crazies… but not many can do the job we do with the way children behave today, without a good sense of humor, and it is NOT the easiest major in colleges. Psychology is. The tough part about teaching isn’t in college, it’s the first few years in the classroom. That’s when you prove yourself and it is one of the hardest jobs in the world.
oh, on another note… we confiscate cell phones so there isn’t any sexting while we are on duty. what they do in their parent’s house is what their parents allow, but now while we’re in charge.