A few weeks ago, in a moment of weakness, I pre-ordered three boxes of Girl Scout cookies from a woman at work. And last night word spread throughout the place: the eagle has landed.
So, I handed over my $10.50 (shit!), and got two boxes of Thin Mints, and one Samoas. Then I promptly went to my desk and polished off one entire sleeve of minty goodness. A whole column… and I had to force myself not to crack open the other one inside the box.
But I wanted to save some for Toney and the kids, and set them aside. But I caught myself looking at the things, stacked on a little shelf to the right of my computer, out of the corner of my eye — for the rest of the evening.
When there are two and a half boxes of cookies within arm’s reach, it’s difficult to focus on the task at hand… I think Lincoln said that.
What are your favorite kinds of Girl Scout cookies? One of my co-workers said he bought a box of Savannahs, and I shouted, “What the hell is that??” It aggravated me, because there’s an established lineup which shouldn’t be tampered with. Savannahs, or whatever they’re called, are like an expansion team in baseball. They’re dead to me, for at least twenty years.
And you know what else is really good, although I almost never buy it? Boy Scout popcorn. When I was in Atlanta there was a guy at work who practically forced everyone, at the point of a gun, to purchase at least one box of the stuff. I lived on beer and burritos in those days, and it broke my heart to hand over ten bucks — or whatever — for freaking popcorn. But I had no choice, really.
And every year, without fail, I’d begrudgingly make some of the stuff in my horrible apartment, and think, “Wow. This is the best goddamn popping corn I’ve ever tasted in my life.” Is that just revisionist memory, or is the stuff really freakishly good? It’s the way I remember it.
Folks are all the time bringing brochures to work, and asking their co-workers to buy something — usually for their kids’ sports teams, or whatever. I’m almost an automatic no, which helps screen me from most of it. Hopefully this Girl Scout cookie purchase won’t ruin my hard-earned reputation…
Just a few weeks ago someone thrust a flier in my hand for a bunch of super-expensive chocolates; the cheapest thing was about fifteen bucks. I just handed it back to him, and said, “Good luck.” Is that assholey? It’s a little bit assholey, isn’t it? But fifteen dollars — or more — is a lot to ask, in my opinion.
What’s the craziest thing someone has tried to sell you at work? I don’t mind the box of one-dollar candy bars on someone’s desk, but don’t generally care for the brochures. What’s your opinion on this subject? Do you have any stories to tell about fundraising co-workers? Please tell us about it.
And speaking of that… I revamped the Souvenir Shop page yesterday. Check it out. None of the stuff is as good as Thin Mints, admittedly, but the shirts and books are pretty good, I think.
Now I need to hit the devil’s parkway, and get back to my job.
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada
First?
Stack three samoas one-on-the-other.
Microwave in 10 second bursts until the chocolate starts to melt.
Cram in mouth with back of hand.
Repeat until heart attack.
I’ve known about Savannahs for a long time. Creamy peanut butter between two light colored cookies. They do have cookies that sell regionally, so maybe they’ve just not been offered in the upper pierogie belt Jeff.
One of my favorites.
He said they were “lemony.” Are we talking about the same thing?
Jeff is correct: “Savannah Smiles — crisp, zesty lemon cookies” … according to this site:
http://baking.about.com/od/familybaking/a/girlscoutcookie_2.htm
I don’t remember lemony cookies named that and when I looked up the history of these names it seems they can’t just let things stay the same. The Peanut Butter Sandwiches used to be called Savannahs and are now called Do-si-dos. Then they steal the name and add Smiles on the end. Come on.
I don’t like this name switching at all. I have enough things fucking up my mind can’t we just leave the cookies alone?
The craziest thing someone tried to sell me at work was my admin’s bother’s manic-depressive girlfriend. [It wasn’t the selling that was crazy, it was the girlfriend]
I ended up just renting for a couple of months.
Having the remains of the 60 boxes I sold for my granddaughter in my cube at this very moment I can say that the peanut sandwich cookies are Do-Si-Dos and the Savannah Smiles are lemon flavored powdered sugar type things. I have never tried the Savannahs but the rest are chock full of waxy nastiness imo.
I loked at their website the other day and there are lots of varieties I have never seen for sale here in Georgia.
loked=looked
Samoas. Exactly 6 cookies, frozen solid with a glass of milk. Yes, I’m a lunatic, what of it?
And Jeff is right, Savannah Smiles are lemon cookies with powdered sugar. They suck donkeys. The peanut butter ones mentioned above are the Do-si-dos.
The ONLY way to eat samoas is frozen. I also only like the thin mints frozen.
Kebbler now makes a cookie very similar to the samoas. Almost as good but they are missing something.
There are two bakeries that the GSUSA uses. Each council orders from one of the two, and the selection varies by bakery. Although some things, like Thin Mints and Samoas are available at both. Then, you have your regional differences.
When I worked at the Council (aka the 2nd worst job on the planet), we had cookies all year round. It kind of makes one jaded on the whole experience, plus learning where the lion’s share of the money goes (hint: not to the girls or troops, but admin)…it was more than I could take. I mean, it’s only one step below the sex trade industry. I hate them (the GSUSA) with every fibre of my being. And, now you know.
Remember a million years ago when the cookies were made by Bury? (or was that Burry?) the folks who brought us those Fudge Town cookies!
Bury made the BEST cookies (Fudge Town were my favorite!) I forgot about those!
They’re baked and they’re boxed by Burry’s
So they’re Burry, Burry good!
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I’ll take a cuppa two tree boxes of Samoas, please. And bring the duct tape too. Just gonna tape them directly to my ass…that’s where they’re gonna end up anyway.
One of the residents in our office last year was selling BOGO tics to the Pirates games at PNC Park for his kid’s class. For 40 bucks you bought 4 tics and got 4 free. Pretty cool. We only went once but was still worth it.
I remember in high school we were always selling those soggy-ass hoagies for something or another.
The Kroger had Keebler Cookies on 1/2 price sale this weekend and we snapped up a few including something called Coconut Dreams or something like that for like $1.50 a package–damned if they didn’t taste just like a Girl Scout Samoa. Didn’t being the operative there. I believe they were all gone by Sunday night. Mmmmm. Mmmmm. And none of that Girl Scout’s Mama purchase pressure.
I’ve heard the claim that the Keebler Grasshopper is a pretty close facsimile of the Thin Mint. Can anyone confirm/deny this?
The lemon cookies with the wax frosting on one side are one of the staples of my cookie buying. That and those caramel/coconut things, whatever they’re called. I’ve been known to blow as much as $60 on Girl Scout cookies at work. And those dollar candy bars? I see a box, I drop $10 in the envelope and grab all the caramel ones, only getting anything else to fill out the $10. I saw one of those brochure things, $15 for like 6 ounces of candy. I was all set to buy, because they were for one of my best friend’s twin grand-kids. Luckily she cut me off from the twins fundraising do the amount I’ve already spent on those two. But I was all set to drop another $50 to help them go on their 6th grade Sonora trip. Yeah, so I’m a sucker for overpriced cookies candy, and my friend’s grand-kids. What of it? And I’ve been up all night, getting ready to go to bed. good thing I have spell-check on this thing. Ya’ll wouldn’t have been able to read this post otherwise. G’nite.
That’s do TO the amount… And I haven’t spent all night getting ready to go to bed. I actually work 11:00 to 7:30 in the morning. And now being home, am finally getting ready to go to bed in preparation of my Friday, which happens to begin on Tuesday night. And now, G’nite.
When my son Dylan was about 6 yrs old, he overheard me telling his mom that our company might start laying folks off. Next day we heard from one of the neighbors that he was going door to door selling pencils for 50 cents each……I still get teary thinking about it….
I think that’s how Warren Buffet got started!
Cookies? I sneer at your cookies. i was in the air force and we HAD to buy a savings bond.of course it was voluntary but the people that didn’t buy a bond got volunteered for all kinds of nasty shit
The names of the cookies are so gay. How does a man go aobut the day saying, “I’d like a box of Do-si-do’s. Just raise you little fingers and start flitting around.
LOL. I did a little research and found some of the ‘gayer’ names.
Lemon Chalet Cremes oooh, pardon me, do you have any Grey Poopon?
Samoas – after eating half a box, you still want sa moa!
Savannah Smiles – Smiles is a game you play in places of ill repute, guys sit around the table and drop trou. Girl crawls around under the table, doing, well you know. First guy to smile has to buy the round. Unsure how the Girl Scouts picked up on this.
Shout Outs – just gay
Tagalongs – that asshole that you try to get away from at happy hour, but still insists on following along and repelling members of the opposite sex
Thank U Berry Munch – Elvis’ favorite cookie?
Trefoils – sounds like something a Koala Bear would eat
Umpteen years ago, my wife and I got roped in to coordinating the Girl Scout cookie sale. I was very surprised that our troop only make 50 cents per box. Seemed like too much work for a dozen girls to clear a few hundred dollars.
Also, several years ago a woman in another office was helping her son with a school fund raiser. I think it was a 5K run. The top of the paper showed that your “pledge” was to donate per kilometer completed.
I saw some secretaries were pledging $5.00 or $10.00 and I don’t think they realized they were donating that amount times 5 assuming the kid actually finished the entire 5K run. It is difficult for me to believe that someone earning $12.00 per hour would pledge $25.00 or $50.00 for that.
Only 50c a box? Wotta rip. Might as well give 5 bucks to the kids and tell ’em to have fun with it.
Yeah, it is a rip. Would be better off if each parent would just give 25 bucks to their local troop. For the time and effort invested, the return to the GS is stupidly small.
People used to hit me up for the Girls Scout cookies and I always had an imaginary niece or neighbor I would “have to” buy from. Of course, this would make my 27 year old niece the oldest goddamn Girl Scout. if, on a weak moment, I would get roped in, I always got 1 box of Thin Mints. OK, maybe 2.
In my office, we’re not allowed to do any soliciting but people do. They did call Security and walk one woman out for selling Avon. I also can’t stand when I’m trying to wheel a cart of groceries out the Exit door, fighting with the 1 friggin’ wheel that wants to go in a different direction, only to be bombarded by a goddamn little league team waving raffles and giant Kit Kats in my face.
And here’s a scam – seeing some poor cripple in hi wheelchair selling tickets for a raffle (and why are these things always associated with some rehab joint?) only to find out you bought a ticket for a raffle being held 60 miles away. I got suckered into this only to find the ticket I got was for some half-assed fake raffle in Brooklyn.
The last seller at work was for a church group (aka missionary work) to go to Ghanna…. I ask her if a glass of kool-aid was a choice or requirement… It took a minute. =-)
hurrrr duurrrr… Guyana.
I still got in even when you said “Ghanna.”
And yes, I did laugh!
I like the ‘thanks a lots’ but unsure if they even sell them any more. They are chocolate on bottom, and light brown on top, with upraised letters.
I once took a Marks A LOT marker, and colored the words and upraised areas on a couple cookies. Gave to a co worker. They turned out remarkably good looking for something I colored myself.
He ate them and said they tasted good!
The look on his face when I told him what I’d done and showed him an ‘unadulterated’ cookie was priceless.
Acting like some sort of not-already-a-fat-fuck, I signed up for six boxes. I don’t even remember what kind they were, but I like the peanut butter ones – they go great with coffee.
Never heard of Boy Scout Popcorn.
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last year the boy scouts were selling popcorn outside sams club, my husband said it was really good stuff, before that i didnt even know boy scouts sold anything. i bought a big bag of the caramel corn for like ten bucks i think. i figured id support the boy scouts since the girls always get all the attention with the cookies and omg it was delicious…i couldnt stop eating it. i would deff recomed it if you guys see it anywhere.
Totally off topic, but the VP of my department at work was canned this morning. I still haven’t fully absorbed it… he was a good guy and a competent manager. I just hope the new guy is no worse.
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Sold Boy Scout Popcorn for years…at least the troops make pretty decent money on it. I’m a sucker for girl scout cookies left in the freezer, but there never seems to be any girl scouts out selling them anymore, short of the group that sells outside of walmart that looks a little sketchy. The ones that really annoy me are the black guys that walk around the intersections near home in reflective vests from some church asking people to roll down their windows and give change for “the mission of Jesus”. First of all, you’re playing in traffic, secondly, don’t ever walk up to my window and tap it, and third, this really doesn’t seem like it’s a mission for Jesus, more of a fundraising tactic because your parishioners are onto your scheme. Pisses me off.
One wonders how one church in my area can afford the stretch limo that was parked on my block last night and this morning with the church’s contact info and such on it. Somehow, I doubt the people contributing to the offering basket had that in mind when asked to help fund ministry.
Every church has a right (and some have a real need) to own a pimpmobile. Just as they have a right to campaign for Santorum. Just as we the people have a right to tax their hypocritical asses.
jtb
Cookies – bought 3 from one girl, 3 from her sister, and 6! from her other sister. Mostly ThinMints and Peanut Butter. $10.50 for 3 boxes?? We’re paying $4 a box . . . for a total of $48. And I have to write 3 separate checks.
Our Pack sells the popcorn and the boys get credit towards their big camping trip. The caramel corn is addictive and there is chocolate-covered popcorn that is delicious! Mmmmmm . . need to restock the caramel corn.
Tuesday’s post has been metered.
I always liked the “Instant Liquid Feces” kind they sold, but would only eat them on weekends.
Oh, the Alli Mints.
I like The Shining picture in the Bunker Cam…
I bought a box of the Boy Scout popcorn. I thought it was very overpriced but figured it was for a good cause. I was disappointed in the quality. It was no better than Jolly Time or any of the grocery store types.
My wife always asks…”Are They made from real Girl Scouts?”
(yeah…she’s a movie quote freak I tell ya).
Actual Savannah cookies are made from ibex and baboon droppings along with herdsman urine. On special occasions (of which there are many on the (sic) savanna) a roasted dung beetle is added for a festive touch.
I think the cookies are named after the cats. I have half of one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savannah_(cat)
jtb
jtb…I am saddened to report the Great Red Shark and I are no longer the team of highway marauders we once were. Roaming the highway while fighting off swarming bats and truckstop lizard ilk.The beast has gone on to a training facility to be manhandled by rapists, theives, future muderers and assorited low level felons. There’s also a negitive side.
…regards…-dto
dto…
Why this act of infamy? Are the new owners aware that this steed requires a weekly dose of ether fumes from the floorboards? Are they aware that in order for the exhaust manifold to function properly a certain amount of hash and grass smoke has to pass through the HVAC system? Are they aware that failure to play a cassette of Surrealistic Pillow at sufficient volume to be enjoyed by oncoming drivers might void the warranty?
Who the fuck are these Bastards? Are they prepared to go to court? Because they’ll soon likely be looking down the wrong end of a King Hell Lawsuit.
The fucking fuckers.
Best wishes,
John
Half a cat or half a cookie?
@dto:
Here’s a beverage suggestion to go along with those cookies: Civet coffee. Enjoy!
I bought 15 boxes of GS cookies the other day. Yes, I said 15. They’re all stacked in my deep-freeze waiting to be brought into the daylight and introduced to the inside of a warm mouth. At $3.50 a box, that’s a grand total of $52.50. (Oh yeah!)
Since they’re only available once a year for us GS outsiders, I have to stock up while I can. I make them last as long as possible. They never survive the entire year, but we try to make em last. Two adults and two kids can polish off some girlscout cookies in no time at all.
Our purchase includes:
Thin Mints
Tag A Longs (Peanut Butter Patties)
Do-Si-Do’s (Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies)
Trefoils (Shortbread)
Lemonades (Sugar-type cookie with waxy lemon coating on the bottom)
Three boxes of each please. Thank you very much.
I am on the East Coast, they are $4.00 a box here! gas is still cheaper for the time being!