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Ghoul Pool: Submit Your Lists of Predicted Celebrity Deaths in 2014!

January 18, 2014 By Jeff 74 Comments

reubenEarlier this week two beloved television actors from my youth died on the same day: Dave Madden and Russell Johnson. Or, as they’re more commonly known, Reuben Kincaid and the Professor.

On Twitter I reminded everyone these things always happen in threes, so Schneider had better lay low for a while. So far he’s dodged the bullet, as far as I know.

Reuben Kincaid slept in a mask, I remember. When I was a kid I found this fascinating. Did people really do this? It might come as a surprise to some of you, but sleeping masks were not common in 1970s West Virginia. I didn’t know anyone who owned one, and never saw them at Sears or whatever. What’s your experience with such things? I got nothing, except Reuben.

professorAnd the Professor could build almost anything imaginable, using coconuts in most cases, but somehow couldn’t repair a boat. I just learned he’s from a tiny town near my job. I had no idea. I’m surprised there’s not a statue or something. There should be. Maybe I’ll write a letter?

Why is Gilligan not on TV anymore? I never thought the day would come when that show isn’t on three or four times per day. It’s sad.

In any case, this unfortunate turn of events got me to thinking… Maybe we should do one of those dead pool things. Know what I mean? It’s where we each submit a list of famous people we think will buy it during the new year, then revisit them next January to see who was the most accurate.

I haven’t given this an enormous amount of thought (go figure), but like to keep things simple. So… let’s allow up to five names per participant. How’s that sound? And remember, if you submit nothing but people who are 99 years old, it’s not going to be super-impressive if a few of them kick off this year. The long-shots are the ones that will wow the crowd. My advice: mix it up.

And next January we’ll take a look at everyone’s lists, and vote on whose was the best.

One final thing: please don’t submit the President, or anything like that. I don’t need a bunch of guys who talk into their sleeves showing up at my door. Let’s leave the politicians out of it, please. That’s a touchy area.

I’ll submit my list in the comments section later, and hope you guys will too.

Have yourselves a great weekend!

Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. madz1962 says

    January 18, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    In the “oh shot, not him” category – Jack Nicholson. In the “predictable” category Shirley maclaine. More to come

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      January 18, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      Wow, predicting that Nicholson will get shot is pretty specific. You should get some odds.

      jtb

      Reply
  2. Ozzie Bucco says

    January 18, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    Zsa Zsa Gabor, if she isn’t already dead.

    Reply
    • Tim says

      January 18, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      Last I heard wasn’t she just a torso? Or am I misinformed.

      Reply
  3. TR says

    January 18, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Justin Bieber

    Reply
  4. TR says

    January 18, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    George Bush Sr.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 18, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Or Barbara. They’re both oxygen tent occupiers

      Reply
  5. Phantom Railfan says

    January 18, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Merle Haggard
    Jerry Lewis
    Arte Johnson
    Dick Vitale
    Tom Brokaw

    Reply
  6. Stephanie C says

    January 18, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    Susan Olsen (aka Cindy Brady)…
    Sorry.

    Reply
  7. The Qweezy Mark says

    January 18, 2014 at 4:47 pm

    Was in a relationship with a girl who wore a sleeping mask. Needless to say, she was batshit crazy, but she was kind of a sleeper about it. The craziness, not the mask.

    Reply
  8. The Dave says

    January 18, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    My dead pool:
    The Ultimate Warroir
    Marla Gibbs
    Corey Feldman
    Jan-Michael Vincent
    Muhammad Ali

    And on the sleep mask front: I used to work the graveyard shift, and a sleep mask was a lot cheaper than blackout curtains. I eventually got to the point where I didn’t need it any more, but it was a big help in adjusting to the schedule.

    Reply
  9. Tim says

    January 18, 2014 at 5:22 pm

    Richard Bull (Mr. Oleson Little House on the Prairie)
    Ann B. Davis (Alice on Brady Bunch)
    James Best (Roscoe P. Coltrane)
    George Martin (Beatles Producer)
    Joe Garagiola (Oh how I hope)

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      January 18, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      Ages: 89, 87, 87, 88, 87. Way out there on a limb, ain’t we Carnac?

      Reply
      • Tim says

        January 19, 2014 at 12:44 am

        I deliberately chose people under 90.

        Reply
      • WB in OH says

        January 20, 2014 at 3:19 pm

        Carnac… LOL

        Reply
    • Tim says

      February 4, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Richard Bull, TV’s Mr. Oleson died on February 3. Yeah.

      Reply
  10. johnthebasket says

    January 18, 2014 at 6:28 pm

    Stephen Hawking, Lindsay Lohan, Billy Graham, Courtney Love (if there’s any justice), and one of the Olsen twins on a parlay.

    jtb

    Reply
    • Phil Jett says

      January 18, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      ALS, celebrity drug and alcohol abuser, 95, see Lohan and using twins for one pick? Way out there on a limb, ain’t we Miss Cleo?

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        January 18, 2014 at 7:58 pm

        You say tomato, I say 72, 27, 95, 49, 27-27. I’m just betting the come on the 27 Club, although nobody here sings like Janis or plays like Jimi, with the possible exception of Graham, who can play the Bible with his teeth.

        Other than that, you got me dead to rights. Nice comment.

        John

        Reply
  11. Wisey in Ttown says

    January 18, 2014 at 8:45 pm

    Richard Simmons
    James Garner
    Penny Marshall
    Cheech Marin
    Randy Travis

    Reply
  12. chill says

    January 18, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    Some Kardashian or other (if there’s any justice)
    Keith Richards
    Betty White, as long as we’re going out on limbs
    .

    Reply
  13. Airandee says

    January 18, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Bob Costas
    P Diddy
    Art Garfunkel
    Pope Benedict
    Dr. Oz (the irony of it all)

    Reply
  14. Matthew says

    January 18, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    Gary Southern, President of Freedom Industries

    Reply
  15. MikeFromLI says

    January 18, 2014 at 10:40 pm

    Chuck Berry
    Abe Vigoda

    3 more to be named later

    Reply
    • MikeFromLI says

      January 18, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      2 more

      Yogi Berra
      Betty White

      That leaves 1 more for me

      Reply
      • MikeFromLI says

        January 18, 2014 at 11:34 pm

        opps chill already picked Betty White – back to 2 more picks from me

        Reply
        • MikeFromLI says

          January 18, 2014 at 11:37 pm

          Kirk Douglas – 1 more to go

          Reply
          • MikeFromLI says

            January 18, 2014 at 11:52 pm

            OK – Valerie Harper so the final list

            Chuck Berry
            Abe Vigoda
            Yogi Berra
            Kirk Douglas
            Valerie Harper

            Not a bunch of long shots but the 1st time these names picked here. I think Yogi Berra is the sleeper pick here.

            Reply
            • johnthebasket says

              January 19, 2014 at 7:34 pm

              I love Yogi, but he’s 88 and has been in ill health. Calling him a sleeper pick is absurd unless you mean he’s practically already doing the Big Sleep.

              jtb

              Reply
  16. DaveF says

    January 18, 2014 at 11:36 pm

    All my eggs in one basket- O.J. SImpson

    Reply
  17. Skippy in WV says

    January 19, 2014 at 12:06 am

    Aretha Franklin
    Mick Jagger
    Keith Richards
    Roger Moore
    Sean Connery

    Reply
    • 6sigma says

      January 20, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      Two Rolling Stones and two James Bonds all in one year. Bordering on lottery probabilities here.

      Reply
      • Skippy in WV says

        January 20, 2014 at 9:31 pm

        IF WE’RE LUCKY!!!

        Reply
  18. pdparrot says

    January 19, 2014 at 7:52 am

    Bono
    Morgan Freeman
    Caesar (the dog whisperer)
    Josh Peck
    Warren Buffett

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      January 19, 2014 at 7:32 pm

      If we can count obscure people, my uncle is about to die so I’ll pick him. He’s at least as famous as Joe Peck and a dog named Caesar. What the fuck?

      jtb

      Reply
  19. Ognir says

    January 19, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Gilligan’s Island is on Me-TV (if you get that channel).

    Reply
    • Alice in WV says

      January 20, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      I just found it on TvLand, too! Wheeeeee! “Smooth sailing”

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      January 20, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      Yeah…and it replaced Andy Griffith! I’m pissed! I love the oldies, but Gilligan wasn’t one of them. Although, a shame about the Professor. He was pretty handsome in his day.

      Reply
  20. TR says

    January 19, 2014 at 11:33 am

    I’ll take Roy Garber from Shipping Wars

    Reply
    • TR says

      January 19, 2014 at 11:35 am

      😉

      Reply
  21. Clueless says

    January 19, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    Shirley Temple Black
    Leonard Cohen
    William Shatner
    Pamela Anderson
    Ozzy Osbourne

    Reply
    • chill says

      January 19, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      I was originally thinking Shatner too, but I really don’t think this is his year. No, no reason. If it turns out to be his year after all, then I apologize to Old Bill for jinxing him.
      .

      Reply
  22. Bum says

    January 19, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Jeff, I’m SHOCKED that a sensible person like you would subscribe to something so silly as “these things always happen in threes”. To me, that silly non-theory [and the people who believe it] would be something you’d have a field day with in a column, giving them the merciless skewering they deserve. Yep, these things ALWAYS happen in threes……….. except when they happen in twos, fours, tens, sevens, and ones. Depending on who you consider a celebrity, and depending on your own personal rules for a time frame, you can manipulate things to suit whatever number you wish. Phil Everly just died too; so doesn’t that make The Professor and Reuben Kincaid #’s 2 and 3? Or did Phil belong to the PREVIOUS group of three, joining Al Goldstein and Ray Price? Wait, Ray Price doesn’t count because he’s not famous enough? Well, then Joan Fontaine would be the third. But wait, Peter O’Toole [ever catch the double-phallic connotation of his name?] and Tom Laughlin [Billy Jack] died around the same time as Joan- Wouldn’t that make it a group of five? Or is it four? What if someone dies next week? Does that start a new group of three, or do we count it in with Prof & Reuben? Do politicians count? Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, for the first time ever, you have let me down, and believe me, it is not a comfortable feeling…….

    Reply
    • Jeff says

      January 19, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      It’s a fucking joke. Familiar with those? Jesus Christ.

      Reply
      • Jeff says

        January 19, 2014 at 5:03 pm

        On certain days I feel this website has gone on long enough, and today is one of those days.

        Reply
        • johnthebasket says

          January 19, 2014 at 6:52 pm

          Jeff…

          All you need is two more dickish comments. I hear they come in threes. Try to have a relaxing day off.

          John

          Reply
          • johnthebasket says

            January 20, 2014 at 2:10 am

            A day has passed with no more dickish comments coming in. Maybe the dickish ones come in ones rather than in threes. Jeff, you handled this one well. Looks like the only guy in the world who doesn’t get your humor has been cured.

            jtb

            Reply
            • Miketheripper says

              January 20, 2014 at 10:42 am

              I’m not so sure Jeff’s comments were solely directed at Bum…..

              Reply
    • Larry in PA says

      January 20, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      @ Bum – Lighten up asshat

      Reply
      • Uncle_Wedgie says

        January 20, 2014 at 1:39 pm

        John Daly
        Tina Louise
        Bum
        Miley Cyrus

        Reply
  23. Bum says

    January 19, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    Faith restored! Thanks Jeff, and sorry! I’m usually good at detecting written sarcasm, but you disguised that one pretty well. By the way, many years back, we did a Ghoul Pool at work, and I challenge anyone to top my record of THREE names on my list [we picked ten] dying within a four day span [The Queen Mum, director Billy Wilder, Dudley Moore]. Ironically, the person who ran that pool is now dead herself.

    Reply
    • t-storm says

      January 19, 2014 at 7:45 pm

      I don’t think he disguised anything. He spoke in the same-ish voice that he has been for over 10 years. Check for bullshit before you climb up on the high horse.

      Reply
      • Bum says

        January 20, 2014 at 6:50 pm

        Wow, lots of rage here. I think if you guys saw the group of people I work with every day, you’d understand why I had a temporary loss of common sense and took Jeff seriously. In fact, just today, one of my coworkers gave me a belated [and 100% serious] “Who’s gonna be the third one to go?”, as he does every single time two celebrities die within a quick span. Sometimes I come out of work with my head spinning after absorbing eight straight hours of misinformation and inane theories that some of these people spew [these are the same people who have argued with me about those TV antennas from ClearTV that they think will be an equivalent replacement for their cable TV service]. Go ahead and let me have it; I can take it and probably deserve it, but I do have a valid excuse.

        Reply
        • t-storm says

          January 20, 2014 at 7:02 pm

          If you recognize it then there is hope!

          Reply
        • Melissa says

          January 21, 2014 at 11:45 am

          In the end you visit this site and you know Jeff’s humor, as well as the rest of the commenters’ humor. You saw that people were contributing to the topic and instead of disagreeing with it and sitting this topic out, you decided to go on the attack.
          We all deal with crap at work. We all listen to inane theories from people we either semi-like or don’t like at all. Just because you disagreed or disapproved of this topic doesn’t give you the right to shit on everyone else’s enjoyment.
          How about just apologizing and letting it go, instetad of attempting to justify it?

          Reply
  24. t-storm says

    January 19, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Christina Ricci, Charles Manson, Ron White, Lindsay Lohan, Roy of Sigfried and Roy.

    Just pre-ordered Carolla’s and Bald Brian’s books from Amazon through the site. Enjoy the cash!

    Reply
  25. madz1962 says

    January 19, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    No joke I just got back from my cousin’s funeral. Never thought Margaret at the age of 66 would be on the ghoul pool. Rip sweetheart.

    Reply
    • Melissa says

      January 21, 2014 at 11:41 am

      So sorry to hear about your cousin. Losing anyone close is hard. I doubt she was on a ghoul pool as well.

      Reply
  26. Lefty McLiberal says

    January 19, 2014 at 9:53 pm

    Beiber (murder)
    Jay Leno (suicide)
    Brett Favre (hunting accident)
    Dennis Leary (cancer)
    Everyone (meteor)

    Reply
  27. JR in Sammamish says

    January 19, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    Dennis Rodman
    Keith Richards
    Paula Poundstone

    Reply
  28. The Divine Miss E says

    January 20, 2014 at 4:33 am

    I was going to say Pamela Anderson, but someone beat me to it.

    Miley Cyrus
    Paul McCartney
    The Queen
    Michael Douglas
    Joan Rivers

    Reply
    • death balm says

      March 25, 2014 at 10:04 am

      A 1/4 of the original ‘Queen’ died years ago

      Reply
      • chill says

        March 25, 2014 at 7:38 pm

        I think The Divine Miss E was referring to H.M. Elizabeth, second of that name, DG Queen of England etc. As opposed to Freddie Mercury.
        .

        Reply
  29. maineseadog says

    January 20, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Elvis Presley

    Reply
  30. Larry in PA says

    January 20, 2014 at 12:47 pm

    How about Todd Bridges? Isn’t he the last living cast member of Diffrent Strokes?

    Reply
  31. Melissa says

    January 20, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    My Picks:

    Dick van Dyke
    Angela Lansbury
    Tila Tequila
    Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garrett)
    Hugh Hefner

    –Jeff, just know that for every jerkface “Bum” out there, there is about 100 good guys who come to this page and adore you and your writing. So, although his words sting, just fuck ’em and let us take care of him.

    Reply
    • Melissa says

      January 21, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Oh, and I’d like to amend my list, if I may. I predict Hugh will stick around another year. However, I do feel that Muhammed Ali will not. So, he’ll take Hugh’s place.

      Reply
  32. lucas says

    January 20, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    Rupaul
    Justin Beiber
    Kenny Rogers
    Don Imus
    Harrison Ford.

    That’s my best guess….

    Reply
  33. bikerchick says

    January 20, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    My picks have already been chosen. So no use repeating the obvious.

    We used to do a type of ghoul pool at the bar. The bet went from Friday night through Sunday night. Choose a Pittsburgh neigh. rhood and a crime you think will be committed. Cost 2 bu. .cks to play. If no one won, it just rolled over into the next weekend. Good times.

    Reply
    • t-storm says

      January 20, 2014 at 8:03 pm

      That sounds awesome!

      Reply
  34. Billy Joel says

    January 21, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    How about if we reverse the topic and talk about all of the good people out there that will survive 2014!

    Hooray for everyone!

    unicorns and rainbows,

    BJ

    Reply
  35. weegleflip says

    January 22, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Nicki Minaj
    Lawrence Taylor
    Dan Rather
    Charlie Sheen
    Demi Lovato

    Reply
  36. SaucyDeb says

    January 22, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Fidel Castro, who could already be dead, Casey Kasem, and because I want an easy one, Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Reply
  37. death balm says

    March 25, 2014 at 10:01 am

    Stephen Hawking – countdown winner
    Richard Attenborough – modern day Mogli
    Ian Brady – porridge addict
    Paul Gascoigne – Face of PG tips
    Fats Domino – musician, not pizza addict. Well he might be.

    Reply

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