• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

The West Virginia Surf Report!

Jeff Kay's Ridiculous Adventures In Suburbia

  • Home
  • About
  • Best of
  • Books
  • Archives
  • Donate

Further Evidence: What Would You Do If You Received a Note Like This One?

January 7, 2014 By Jeff 45 Comments

godless (1)

Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on LinkedinShare on Pinterest

Filed Under: Evidence

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dogberryjr says

    January 7, 2014 at 1:53 pm

    Do? I’d stick it up on the fridge as a testament to all the idiots in the world.

    Reply
    • Dogberryjr says

      January 7, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      Or maybe a nice Santeria alter on the front lawn.

      Reply
      • Dogberryjr says

        January 7, 2014 at 1:56 pm

        altAr, dammit, altar!

        Reply
  2. Miketheripper says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    ‘Ol Barb is going to be hard to deal with….

    Reply
  3. icecycle66 says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    What would I do?

    All the worst things.

    Reply
  4. Miss Q says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    I would laugh and laugh and laugh. I’d share it with all my friends and my other neighbors so they, too, could laugh and laugh and laugh.

    Oh, and I would not tone down my “godless” activities (whatever that means).

    Reply
  5. PattyBoots says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    I’d tack it on their front door with instructions to fold it until it’s all sharp corners and shove it up their ass.

    Reply
  6. Average Jane says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:36 pm

    I saw that posted on BoingBoing and I clicked all the way through to the original post to see if the poster had any idea what kinds of godless activities the new neighbors objected to. As it turned out, no.

    If I got that, I’d just laugh. And maybe start blasting my godless music a little louder.

    Reply
  7. stratboy says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    loudspeaker aimed at Barb and Tom’s house. In A Godda Davitta. 24/7.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      January 7, 2014 at 3:24 pm

      I didn’t even know they were Italian.

      Here’s IB’s final performance of this fine tune which, in retrospect, still seems more interesting than anything I heard this year or last on contemporary radio.

      In college I wore out the record and had to go out and smack down three bucks for a replacement. That accounted for two of the 30 million the album sold.

      John

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA7V68w5hiA

      Reply
      • stratboy says

        January 7, 2014 at 7:08 pm

        Thanks for the link. I agree about the sad state of pop music these days. Having said that, a friend gave me a ticket to an Arctic Monkey show in Chattanooga. Holy crap – I’m pushing 50…and now I’m into the Arctic Monkeys. Did not see that coming!

        Reply
  8. TR says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    Put my speakers in the window and blast some Ozzy!

    Reply
  9. Tyrosine says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    Get a couple of kegs, fire up the bong, and invite a parade of hookers over.

    Reply
  10. Doug says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Reply with my own note, “When does she turn eighteen?”

    Reply
    • Phil Jett says

      January 7, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      Winner!

      Reply
      • Alex says

        January 7, 2014 at 3:48 pm

        signed Chester.

        Reply
  11. madz1962 says

    January 7, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Was that note at least attached to a Bundt cake?

    I wonder if the godless acts in question had anything to do with producing n angel?

    And all kidding aside, this is why Beloved wants to buy a house with a moat. If Barb & Tom ever tucked a note like that in our mailbox, we’d be on the 11:00 news.

    Reply
  12. Bill in WV says

    January 7, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    I’m anxiously awaiting Angry White Guy’s post on this subject.

    Full-blast Gwar tunes coming Barb’s way.

    Reply
  13. BoMama says

    January 7, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    I’d do my husband on the front lawn. After school, of course.

    Reply
    • Miss Q says

      January 7, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      And the prize for best comment goes to…BOMAMA!!!

      Reply
      • BoMama says

        January 9, 2014 at 3:33 pm

        Thanks Miss Q!

        Reply
  14. Billy Joel says

    January 7, 2014 at 3:33 pm

    I’d treat Bard & Tom to a special evening featuring blaring Butthole Surfers music and lots of fake blood.

    Reply
  15. kristin says

    January 7, 2014 at 3:45 pm

    Give the kid a gift certificate for therapy for her next birthday.

    Reply
  16. Alex says

    January 7, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Reminds me when my new neighbour asked if I didn’t think my truck too loud.
    Nope.

    Alex.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      January 7, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      “This is me quiet truck, mate. I drive the loud one on the weekends.”

      Just a thought.

      jtb

      Reply
  17. Kevindust says

    January 7, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    I’m not condoning the above letter, they lost me at Godless activities, but for humours sake I’d like to hear from Surf Reporters with regards to the other point of view. What if you had a young child and your neighbours were constantly engaging in loud passionate lovemaking /fucking that could clearly be heard through a shared wall? Would you say anything? What kind of letter would you write?

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 7, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      Dear Neighbors:

      Thanks, guys! You saved me an embarrassing talk. I owe you a beer.

      Reply
    • Doug says

      January 7, 2014 at 8:47 pm

      Dear Neighbors,
      The website is up and the audio feed is online. If you allow me to install a webcam, I can start charging for the site.

      Reply
      • TR says

        January 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm

        Talk to the person instead of leaving a note.

        Reply
    • Phil Jett says

      January 8, 2014 at 8:53 am

      Fucking talk to them. I was on our HOA board and people were constantly calling me about people leaving their trash cans out too long, playing loud music too late, not edging their sidewalk enough.

      Get to know you next door fucking neighbors and have a goddam conversation with them. You are a fucking adult, handle your issues by starting a conversation not by calling someone godless for fuck’s sake. That note means shit. What they call godless could me sitting in a lawn chair sucking down a Busch beer.

      Reply
      • Clueless says

        January 8, 2014 at 10:49 am

        Talking doesn’t always result in an acceptable solution.

        Across the road neighbors had a large dog (okay, several dogs but the large one was the offender) who barked all night long. A few days after speaking to them about it and the dog had been barking for hours, I heard a loud gun blast.

        Yeah, they shot it. I’ll be damned if I ever discuss barking with them again.

        Reply
      • squawvalleyskip says

        January 8, 2014 at 12:02 pm

        Well, the Busch beer might maybe be considered godless.

        Reply
  18. WB in OH says

    January 7, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDXYzUlv0S8

    Reply
  19. chill says

    January 7, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Straight answer to the note: No, we couldn’t.
    .

    Reply
  20. Nezrite says

    January 7, 2014 at 6:12 pm

    I had a friend who lived in a duplex, and the other tenants would occasionally hold loudly musical prayer meetings on the front lawn. He finally set a speaker in the window and blasted lines from The Exorcist, including his particular favorite, “Your mother sucks cocks in hell!”

    Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      January 9, 2014 at 10:27 am

      That was great !!

      Reply
  21. The4thStooge says

    January 7, 2014 at 9:21 pm

    Well, that note’s no good–what’s the GODLESS activity that the folks are supposed to tone down? WE NEED DETAILS!

    Reply
  22. TR says

    January 7, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    Is anyone else annoyed by the spelling of thanks?? “Thanx”

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      January 8, 2014 at 4:54 pm

      that’s bad but thx really pisses me off. Let’s not even talk about “yw”.

      Reply
  23. T. Farty McAppleass says

    January 8, 2014 at 1:48 am

    Ooops, I left the blinds up again. Now the neighbors know exactly what my dick looks like with a flashlight pointed at it.

    That’s what I’d do.

    Reply
    • chill says

      January 8, 2014 at 6:32 am

      And what are they doing looking in my window, anyway?
      .

      Reply
  24. Buck Naked says

    January 8, 2014 at 9:26 am

    “By God, we sure can! Jesus, why didn’t you say something a long time ago? I mean … Christ, if you’d only said something to our faces instead of leaving notes under the door, this could have been settled man to man.

    “And while you’re at it, get that God-damned Bathtub Mary off the lawn.”

    Reply
  25. Booger P and the DTs says

    January 8, 2014 at 11:48 am

    four words

    “WEEK LONG BIKER PARTY”

    with biker chicks and guns and fights and whiskey, we pay the cops so they are cool with it. They think we are godless now? wait.

    Reply
  26. Uncle_Wedgie says

    January 8, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    I would ask them which God?

    Reply
    • chill says

      January 8, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      I wear Sansagod pants.
      .

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Now With Podcast!

Support Jeff And His Projects

Latest Tweets

  • Fresh podcast action, available everywhere! From Milton to Madagascar. pic.twitter.com/V6M1cmQcSA

    November 3, 2022 5:46 am

  • Something new I'm trying: nonewjeffs.substack.com/p/im-n…

    December 2, 2021 4:11 pm

  • Only 182 days until Opening Day.

    September 30, 2021 2:37 pm

  • Check out this great story about a 16 year old Tom Bergeron talking to Moe and Larry on the phone during the early… twitter.com/i/web/status/14387…

    September 17, 2021 5:02 am

  • Dogs! surfreportpod.com/2021/09/16/e…

    September 16, 2021 4:07 pm

Facebook!

Footer

Get Social!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Search The Surf Report

Copyright © 2023 · Smoking Fish Media