Another thing I don’t like: pizza folders. What in the everlovin’ hell is that about?? I saw someone do this a few days ago and, even though I didn’t know the person, I instantly had a negative opinion of him. I realize it’s irrational, and probably not fair, but too bad. Pizza folders bother me. I put them in the same category as people who back into parking spaces.
I’m sure some of you belong to the Folders Brotherhood, and are probably squinting at me right now. And every time I mention the parking space thing, I get two or three emails or comments from people explaining (in condescending tones) why backing is better. Ha! If you think you’re going to convince me at this late date, you’re sadly mistaken. My prejudices are cast in stone.
Luckily, however, they’re all fairly shallow, and I’m often convinced to amend my initial judgments of people. In fact, I work with a guy who folds, and I like him just fine. He’s a good guy. When there’s pizza I just try to avert my eyes, and clinch-up when I accidentally see him lifting a folded slice to his mouth. But that’s as far as it goes. I’m able to compensate. Like someone with Asperger’s, or whatever.
I have many, many such things in the hopper o’ fucked-upness. And I have a feeling most of you guys do, as well. You’re Surf Reporters, after all. So, in the comments section, please tell us about your prejudices. One request, though. Please don’t bring politics or general ugliness (you know what I’m talking about) into the discussion. We don’t need more of that crap. Let’s just keep it to annoying little habits, and that sort of thing. Stuff that makes you form an instant opinion about complete strangers… OK? Thank you for your attention to this matter.
I’m returning to work today for the first time since last Wednesday. I had to take a few days off, to tend to some fambly stuff. But I’m working tonight, and will then be off again until Sunday evening. It’s a schedule I could get used to… Just one workday every eleven calendar days. That’s good stuff.
Unfortunately, I need to go in early again, to attend a meeting that’s apparently been turned into a weekly affair. So, I’m going to have to stop here.
I’ll post a full-sized update tomorrow, though.
I’ll see you then!
Now playing in the bunker
Do your holiday shopping at Amazon!
Hey, I’m a knife and for pizza eater. I do however have a nephew on the wife’s side has Aspergers. I simply refer to him as “The ass burger guy” and she gets really pissed!
4WD pickups and SUVs with no dirt on them. Why do you need 4 wheel drive when the only place you drive is I-66? Extra anger for fake testicles hanging off the trailer hitch.
Turn signals again. Do you not know you’re supposed to use them when changing lanes, or is literally lifting a finger too much effort?
Rainy twilight and no headlights.
Abandoned grocery carts in the middle of the aisle, no owner in sight.
Cisco “support”.
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And I’ll V-fold my pizza every time. If it’s proper (i.e. thin crust) pizza, you kind of have to for all the reasons previously cited. Yes, I’m from New York; what of it?
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Back to beating the dead horse in the grocery store—-
People who use the motorized carts just because they are fatasses and don’t want to walk with a normal cart. Old people and handicapped get the passes, but if you would WALK around the store and quit loading your cart with Cheezy Poofs and Little Debbie, maybe you wouldn’t feel the need to drive around the store.
Another thing that bugs the crap out me:
“Hamburger Meat” – it’s either Hamburger or Ground Beef
also:
it’s “EYE – DEE – Ah”, not “EYE DEER”
and it’s only 9:00am
Adults who speak to me in a condescending manner, as if they have some “authority” over me.
People who don’t use turn signals.
People who park in handicapped spots with no obvious tag or placard on their vehicle.
Having to deal with people in general.
The USPS
Lots of noise (car radios, engines, barking dogs…that sort of thing).
“Waver ons” at 4 way stops – you know, the type who clearly got there before you and will flash their lights or motion for you to go on and that just messes up the whole pattern.
I think that’s it for right now, but I’m sure I have much more bile and hatred in my system than this puny list. 🙂
people who while talking to you are dropping names of people you have no fucking idea who they are…like you should know who they are talking about.
and food touchers bug the shit outta me.
Jesus. Where do I start? As I get older, the list gets longer.
Grocery Stores. I hate grocery shopping as it is. There are a few people of the “motorized” community I see there all the time. They are perfectly capable of walking. This one lady parks at the end of the isle, gets out of her motorcart, walks down the isle to get what she wants, gets back into her cart and goes to the next isle. The fuck??? Their incapacity depends on the effort needed for the task at hand.
Then there’s the “mother of the year” with access card in hand and a cart full of meat and seafood. A parade of 4-6 kids (ages ranging from 2-6) lagging behind her. Every one of them whining and crying while she completely ignores them, not once looking behind to check on them. Please…have another one. I’ll watch my grocery budget so you can feed your tribe crablegs.
Do NOT snap your gum or lips in my face. With that attitude, you’ll sit in that fucking waiting room all day before I take you back to see the doctor.
Finish your conversation on your cell phone before approaching a sales counter, placing an order in a restaurant or whatever. No one gives a shit about your conversations. No one.
Identify yourself when calling somewhere. Don’t just spew demands and orders. Is it that much effort to say, “Hello, my name is ___. I was in to see the doctor…(or whatever)….”? It’s just common courtesy. Why do we have to pull teeth to find out who you are like we are expected to know your voice?
Lying. A few people I know would lie just to lie. My doc’s wife (who “runs” the office) would lie about what she had for dinner last night. We have caught her in her shit lies so many times. She forgets what she has told us in the past about things. She has no credibility and NO respect. I know a couple people like this. Makes no sense to me.
Ok…I’ll stop for now.
OMGosh – one of my biggest peeves is people who call my number and then ask who they are speaking with. I want to say, “You called me, joker.”, but instead I ask, “Who were you trying to reach?” or “What number did you dial?”. I’m not telling complete strangers my name unless they have a miiiiighty good reason for needing to know it.
When I answer the phone I say who it is, “Icecycle speaking.”
And then there is inevitably silence.
I think, hey mother fucker you called me, you got a response; the ball’s in your court. If they don’t respond within moments I give a good hearty “What do you want?”
Whenever I get asked that question at the beginning of a phone conversation, I answer “Satan…. would you like to speak to Hitler?”.
I hate people who cannot pick up their feet when they walk. Is it so damn hard to lift your foot that extra 1/2 inch to not scrape the floor?
oh boy oh boy!! I live for this…
1. shopping…I hate check writers and encourage my kids to whine about how long it takes. Whine and cry away boys, everyone can hear you.
2. taking my car in: now I am FEMALE, which means if they see me coming in they just start thinking of ways to (figuratively) screw me. I had a guy at Lube Pro’s try to get me to pay for a forty dollar “cleanse” before they put in new oil after an oil change. Have never taken my car anywhere since without a man in tow.
3. My son has autism. nuff said. you bring it, I can take. don’t try to pretend I am making it up, maybe he is just “slow” etc etc. My son is nonverbal and in special education. It is ok…really. I am a pro, you bring it I can dish it right back. PS. its apsergers. look it up, google something. ignorance is no excuse…*hops off Autism soapbox*
4. family thinking I want to spend every holiday running from house to house. I don’t. I want to cook a turkey and sit in my sweats and sweat. I don’t feel like smiling or dragging said child(see #3) to everyones houses so he can melt down and scream all night.
5. I hate the drive thru wench handing me a coke with 2/3 of the soda dripping down the side….the fuck??? give me a napkin asshat…
6. bills. I hate my bills.
7. I hate people that talk to me in public. does my face look friendly?? do you think I want your advice on feeding my children??? dressing them?? if you can do it better, here. take one. or two. hell take all three and let me go to the liquor department. have fun!!
ok. I wil be back with more.
Aspergers…damn neurotic typing. 🙂
Easy girl. We are mock A-holes here not real. God bless your son.
this is sarcasm, by the way. I had assumed this was a given…
A few of my co-workers back in to their praking spaces. I refer to them as the Douchebag Derby.
I hate people that PULL their shopping cart, you are suppose to PUSH it. Pulling it takes twice as much space in the aisle and it just annoys me to death.
I find it interesting that the umbrella theme of what bugs us is other people.
People with umberellas piss me off come to think of. Pussies!
Anyone onstage trying to imitate Mick Jagger. Unless you can do a spot on imitation like Jimmy Fallon, don’ t attempt this stance. You will look foolish.
(yes, I’m talking to the preening asshole in a local band who secretly believes he may be Sir Mick. You’re not. You’ll never make a record or tour. Deal with it.)
People who wish me a ‘blessed day.’
People who ask ‘how are you?’ then act shocked when I reply ‘shitty.’
People who chat on the cell phone in office toilet stalls.
Salvation Army bell-ringers who crank up their quarter kettles two weeks before Thanksgiving, let alone Christmas.
I am prejudiced against:
-people who back out of parking spaces.
-people who merge on to an empty two lane road from the right side and immediately get into the left lane.
-people who put beans in chili.
-vegans.
-people who drive a Prius or Volt.
-people who joined a Canadian Occupy movement.
-people who put ketchup on eggs or mac and cheese.
-people that wear a hat sideways.
-people that wear pants with the waistline below their hips.
-heterosexual women with short hair.
-people that phone me or come to my door in an attempt to sell something.
I hate:
The person in line in front of me at the convenience store who waits until the cashier tells them what they owe and THEN starts reaching for their wallet or money or whatever…like it’s a complete surprise they’ll have to pay. Whereas I’m standing behind them money IN hand shooting daggers of death with my eyes
Or, they suddenly decide to buy every lottery ticket in existance and proceed to do their fucking scratching right there at the counter. Hey, move outta the way you lottery loser.
I am not a fan of the general public, or public transportation.
I hate people who honk when they pull up in front of a building. It is 2011, doesn’t everyone have access to a phone? Better yet, here’s an idea: get out of your Range Rover and walk to the door. There are other people in the neighborhood. Some have alternative sleeping patterns.
I call that the urban doorbell. Even if nobody is trying to sleep, it’s a rude and lazy practice.
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I just can’t stand it when people describe the time of day as, “8AM in the morning” or “9PM at night”….like the AM and PM didn’t clue us in to the time of day…. douche.
What about ice chewers in small spaces, like cubicles. Completely crosses the line….not sure what line but they are crossing all over it!!!!
Right up there with “ink pen” and “lead pencil”.
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What really bugs me is people who pull through parking spaces. Even more so the ones who pull from one parking lane through two spaces to get to one on the other side and who expect to drive through the traffic in that lane to get there.