Just briefly… Andy hadn’t been doing well for the past couple of months. I didn’t mention it here because it’s not something I wanted to talk about. He was a medium-sized dog, and they’re good for 14 years if you’re lucky. Andy was 16 and a half and was in extra innings. I was thankful for the free baseball. But we all knew the score, and the score sucked. Why wallow in it?
He chugged along for a while, having good days and bad. It didn’t seem like he was in pain, which was obviously a good thing. And just when we thought the end was near he’d bounce back and string together a few days when the old Andyness was there again. But he eventually stopped eating, and there were other unpleasantries I don’t want to get into. So, the decision was made, and it was heartbreaking.
I thought I was prepared for it. It had been at the front of my mind for the past two months: the first thing I thought about when I woke up every morning. I spent a lot of time with the dog, knowing that someday soon those opportunities would go away. I told myself I’d made peace with it all, and would be fine when it finally happened. But I wasn’t fine. It felt like somebody drove a screwdriver through my heart. But we’re all doing a little better now. Time will take care of it. I’ve been down this road before.
Thank you guys for caring. I appreciate it, sincerely. But let’s move on, shall we?
Yesterday I was putting in my contact lenses, and the left one fell off my finger as I was attempting to seat it on my eyeball. I wear hard lenses — described by my mother many years ago as “like having a human toenail in your eye” — because one of my corneas is all jacked up. It’s shaped like the end of a football, a doctor once told me. In any case, hard lenses are the only thing that will correct my vision. Glasses don’t do it, and disposable floppy lenses don’t either. The ones I use are expensive and require time to manufacture. If I lose one, I’ll be walking around for days, maybe a week, in a poorer and fuzzier world.
So, when I lost control of the thing, I instantly panicked. Usually, when it happens, I can hear it hit the floor or the sink. There’s a small little tick! But this time I heard nothing. Was it stuck to my face? Was it on my shirt? I didn’t want to take a step, for fear I’d crush the tiny but powerful defuzzing agent. Grrr… I yelled for the younger hooligan to come help. He inspected my bulbous biscuit-head, found nothing, and didn’t see it stuck to my clothing either. Where in the hell did it go?? We both started crawling around on the floor, and could not locate it. It was crazy, and I was releasing an enormous amount of profanity.
Finally, I found it, stuck to the door of the vanity, just hanging there about a foot beneath the countertop. How?? How did it fall so far, and still hang on? It was almost defying gravity. And I’m not even sure why I thought to look in such an improbable place. But I was back in business, dammit. The relief I felt was like when you wake up from a horrible dream and realize it wasn’t real. I’m super-jealous of people who can just pluck those things out of their eyes, and flick ’em in the trash. I have to protect mine like they’re the keys to the universe.
The computer I’m using right now doesn’t work correctly. It’s only a few months old, and I’ve had it in “the shop” twice already. Nobody can diagnose the problem, and I get the impression I’m not always believed when I describe what’s going on. Yesterday I took it in, and the dude was eyeing me suspiciously. I think I might be entering an age bracket where it’s assumed I don’t know shit about technology. And it pisses me off. Sometimes when I’m using the self-checkout at the grocery store some chirpy 14-year-old girl skips over and asks if I need assistance. This fires me up, and I generally react in a way that causes them to walk away wounded and muttering, “Jesus…”
Anyway, it’s working now. The fleshy neckbeard nerd told me he thinks it’s overheating. The man is clearly just pulling theories straight out of his big speckled ass. But, we’ll see. I’m going to start turning it off when I’m finished, and see if it helps. I know in my heart it won’t, but I’m willing to give it a try. Everything’s just freaking fantastic, I tell ya.
On Sunday I was driving to Target and passed this situation. I stopped, rolled down my window, and snapped the photo. I was mildly concerned there would be a spectacular explosion and I’d end up with a dashboard through my torso, but it didn’t happen. There were guys out there hollering, waving their arms around, and taking charge. Who are these people? And why do they always drive pickup trucks?
See that little tree near the road? Well, the SUV is sitting on top of another one, just like it. I have no idea what happened. Why would it catch fire like that? Oh well. I’m sure it’s all just a big misunderstanding.
I need to go now. Another reminder: please use our Amazon links, and buy very expensive items. Like cars. Does Amazon sell cars? I’m unclear on it. Anyway, please remember to click through before doing your holiday shopping. It’s a big help if you do. Thank you, guys.
The Question o’ the Day is a simple one. What did you have for dinner last night? Please tell us about it in the comments. We had ham and white beans and a giant loaf of Italian bread. I cobbled that shit together myself. I cooked the beans all day, with a big smoky ham hock, and they were delicious. What about you? Please tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!
Dinner last night: beef tips in gravy over mashed potatoes. Mmmmmm……
Dinner last night: Salad and Buffalo style chicken nuggets. Tasty!
H-bomb sized meatloaf, scalloped potatoes and green beans. It’s homely chow but there is a massive pile of leftover meatloaf for sammiches.
Our pooch just turned 16yrs…she’s very lumpy, has over the top fish breath and is usually ornery but she’s healthier and more pain-free than I am. Either way it goes, it will be tough to say goodbye.
Dinner: mushroom and sun dried tomato pasta.
I’m sorry about Andy.
My dinner was a turkey sandwich on a dinner roll, macaroni salad, calico beans, and some inexplicably sour coleslaw. At a funeral. So I’m right there with ya.
I had spaghetti for dinner last night but I would have traded with you for your white beans and ham hock in an instant. That is real comfort food!
We went out to dinner for my husband’s birthday, to Carrabba’s. I had “Pasta Weesie,” which they have strangely renamed “Fettuccine Weesie.” Nonsense. It was great, though, as always!
Man! White beans and ham! What I would’ve given up to trade the Boston Market meatloaf frozen dinner I had at work at 1:30 this morning for a bowl of white beans and ham. Preferably with cornbread, but just a big steaming bowl of beanie goodness would do. We have the bone out of a HoneyBaked ham my wife got for a pot luck at her work. She wanted to make split peas, but I think I’m going to make a case for white beans and cornbread. I’ll tell her Jeff Kay put the idea in my head.
I had homemade chicken tortilla soup. It was good and hit the spot.
I just had to put my boxer down last month and it seems like a similar situation to Andy. Sorry to hear about the loss. My girl had breath like a dumpsters vagina and “could knock a maggot off a gut wagon” according to my mom.
Dinner: Sausage and pepper wedge/sub/hoagie/grinder sandwich, broccoli, and avocado, onions and tomatoes over salad greens. Dressed with olive oil & cider vinegar.
A handful of M&M darks for dessert.
I’ve gained 4 pounds since Thanksgiving. Not good…
dinner last night was leftover peanuts i smuggled out of 5 guys on Sunday
I wasn’t going to admit that I had chips and dip for dinner but I think you topped me.
Nice – we could have shared what we had and had a nice 3 course meal. ;’)
Next time. I will stop by Costco also to see what free samples I can gather.
That would add a festive touch.
We had Taco Monday with vegan cheese and meat. Yes, we are defying the natural order of the universe. And my wife informed me for the first time that she doesn’t really like vegan tacos. I’ve been making them for years. She’s been grinning and bearing it because I like them. It just took an ornery mood for her to tell me the truth. Damn it! It’s one vegan meal that tastes great, at least to me.
We’ve had several dogs go over the rainbow bridge in the past few years. I know how much it hurts to let them go but I’m sure that you feel the way I do. That month of greiving is completely outshined by the 16 years of love and companionship you had with Mr. Andy. There will be a time in the future where you can look at the pictures and movies and laugh at that goofy hound again.
Several in the past few years????…. what the fuck! Have you considered what you’re feeding them? Maybe a walk now and then would cut down on your attrition rate.
One was a 100lb mutt who made it to 13 which is old for a big dog. One was over 15 and the third was a puppy mill rescue that had been severely abused over the first 6 years of his life and died of cancer at 10. So Mr. @sshole, my dogs were well taken care of, thank you. I had some old dogs that happened to die over a few years (and by “few years”, I mean over a 4 year period). I was trying to give some comfort to Jeff in his time of mourning and here you go being a douche. Jeesh!
I thought my comment was in keeping with a humor site. Jeff did say to move on…. and please upgrade to a better form of communication than than name calling. Your opinion of me means nothing to me.
I lost my Harriette and Jane The Cat recently… I’m not unfamiliar or insensitive to the hurt. Go fuck yourself…..
Your humor did not convey. I do not think Jeff would ever post a response like that. His humor has a bit more subtlety. Take a moment to re-read your comment from the perspective of someone who can’t hear your inflection because it is text on the internet. It reads like a douchy and completely insensitive response, especially considering the subject matter. If you would have used some emoticons to show sarcasm or humor, it would be a completely different ballgame. But since you seem to have a chip on your shoulder, I happily return the Go Fuck Yourself.
WOW … mine must have been really subtle if you needed help and faces to guide you along. Perhaps you only read things on the internet or maybe haven’t experienced a book without pictures to help you understand each paragraph.
Sorry again about Andy.
Dinner last night: butternut squash soup and pork schnitzel.
Like you, I have questions about the positioning of that car on TOP of the little tree. How does something like that even happen?
Campbell’s chicken & rice soup with a donut for dessert. Haven’t been to the grocery store lately & too lazy go last night. Don’t judge — we’ve all been there.
Chicken and pancetta risotto reheats
I also have a football shaped eye with an RGP lens and have listened for the many times. Just the other day I had to call my daughter in to look for the damned thing before I could crush it under my size 14 hoof. Crisis averted!
Sorry about Andy.
Dinner was leftover tacos. Good enough.
I was a high school swimmer a million years ago. One day our coach told us not to go in the water before practice. He told us a girl in one of the gym classes lost her contacts in the pool and we were going to look for them.
The pool was an L shape, 25 yards on each long side with a 12′ diving well on one end.
I found one as it was floating by me and another guy found the other.
Holy crap, I don’t know what happened after school, but that girl got lucky at the pool!
Hamburger patties atop egg noodles swinmming in brown gravy with a little bit of broccoli, aged Manchego, and carrots.
And beer. Holiday amounts of Two-Hearted.
Grilled chicken legs and wings with some Pasta Roni conglomeration consisting of smoky alfredo sauce with bacon – to die for! And our customary bowl of ice cream an hour or so later while watching TV.
Pinto beans cooked to the perfect tenderness, with wedges of raw onion on the side. Would love to have had cornbread with it but I’m trying to cut back.
I have ham and beans cooking right now and corn bread getting ready to go in. Last night was taters and onions roasted with polish sausage.
Sorry about blacklips.
So so sorry about Andy. I know it’s hard.
Dinner last night was lasagna. I tried these no boil noodles I saw at the store and I wasn’t really impressed.
For dinner last night we had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.
I added a tater topped with butter and Tabasco. Good cold weather food.
So I’m wondering if the Mistletoe Growers of America will be filing for
bankruptcy this year? I fear they are doomed…
My condolences for your loss. It is tough to lose a pet family member.
We had hot dogs for dinner. I set mine up with chili, onions, ketchup and mustard (cheese on one). Coleslaw was available, but I did not partake of it this time. Although I grew up South of the coleslaw line I am not persistent about its inclusion.
Homemade BBQ chicken flatbread. Used Famous Dave’s Devil Spit BBQ sauce with diced chicken breast, sliced red onions and cheddar cheese. I make the flatbread and cooked it in the oven on a baking stone since it was too cold to fire up the grill. Served with an ice cold can of Budweiser.
Nothing last night, nachos tonight, and Rousseau suggests eating the rich tomorrow.
Nice. With the new blow the rich tax bill they’ll be plumper then.
John
Gotta keep up our strength whilst awaiting the next modest proposal from Congress.
KFC $5 original chicken breast meal. And I am very sorry about Andy…
Sorry to hear about Andy.
Home made (by me) nachos with ground beef, BBQ shredded chicken, sharp cheddar, onions, roasted corn salsa, black olives, and lots of sour cream. Wife was licking the plate.
Last night I went to my favorite watering hole, which is unusual for me on a Monday. I had the “bratwurst platter”: two bratwurst, a pile of sauerkraut, a larger pile of German potato salad, grainy mustard and a weck-like roll. And a beer or two to wash it down. This place is unusual in that they have a pretty kick-ass butcher shop; they make sausages (and smoke meats for barbecue) on premises.
Man, that’s brilliant! Butcher shop AND bar and homemade goodness??? You’d have to peel me off the bar stool.
Roast beef,mashed potatoes and asparagus. Weird for a weeknight
Dinner last night was an entire loaded pizza, extra cheese.
I lost a hard lens a few months ago. It just vanished when I was putting it in. Got the backup lens and inserted it. Two weeks ago I felt like I had something in my eye. Looked in the mirror and the old lens was in my eyelid. It took a two month vacation to my brain when I put it in apparently. Scary vacation there.
Snow crab legs and JUMBO shrimp. The crab was so bad Hubster is taking the other pound back.
Dinner last night was Pop Tarts.
We’re all suffering from head colds (made worse from the smoke from brush fires in our part of California), so I made wonton soup (mainly for the chicken stock). Good way to clear out the vegetable bin in the refrigerator.
I also want to say how sorry I am about Andy’s passing. As someone who had to put down a friend of 16 years last year, it was tough. The worse part is entering the house or a room and expecting him to be underfoot, only to be disappointed. Took me months (and eventually a new dog) to get over that feeling.
Sorry about Andy. We had to put our yellow lab down this year. He made it to 14, which is pretty good for a lab. He was a phenomenal dog, we miss him terribly. I hate it for you.
Last night was sautéed chicken with pasta salad. Hubs and I are both sickly since the toddler shared his daycare germs with us, so it’s lighter fare for dinner all week. Who knows what we will have tonight, there isn’t any meat thawed so it may be PB&J.
You can prepare for it all you want, at best, you will only be ready for the moment.
Fire:ruptured fuel or oil line. Overtaxed alternator wiring/damaged alternator wiring. Running lean with a glowing exhaust manifold, melting some wire insulation, causing a short, in turn sending everything up in a ball o smoke.
Steak and kidney pudding, spotted dick with custard, ales.
This seems an odd context into which to insert holiday greetings, but I’ve been doing so on Jeff’s site for more than a dozen years, and I hate to stop now.
Hanukkah ended two days ago, but I hope you had a joyous and meaningful Hanukkah and that your candles kept burning.
Kwanzaa starts on the 26th (as you will know) and I hope yours is one of memory and renewal and that your candles also keep burning.
I hope you were available to make sweet love on the Solstice (yesterday, as I write this) and that, if you’re anything like me, you took your cardio meds before embarking. Yeah, they slow a man down, but, since you’re frequently alive when you’re done, it makes for a “happy ending”.
. . . and I think that’s about it . . .
Oh yeah, Merry Christmas. I wish you all the things money can’t buy, which, according to the Moptops, includes love.
warmest holiday wishes,
John
Very nice, John. Thank you.
And let me add wishes for a happy Night of the Radishes. Not to mention Hogmanay next weekend.
Thank YOU, chill. I guess you know that when those two holidays fall on the same day, revelers build a fine hog and radish stew and chase it with single malt scotch whisky and tequila. I guess you also know that when Hanukkah overlaps, they also say a fine Raddish Kaddish and top it off with a dash of Mogen David. I’d rather not go into the Kwanzaa aspects, but the police inevitably get involved. I can’t imagine how they wouldn’t.
Damned if every day ain’t a holiday and every meal a feast.
festively,
John
Happy festivus!
This year, I’m going to skip the Airing of the Grievances. It would just take too long.
Back at you AWG and spreading well wishes to all of the WVS reporters.
. . . and a short poem to celebrate the day . . .
https://thevalueofsparrows.com/2015/12/27/poetry-christ-climbed-down-by-lawrence-ferlinghetti/
John
Merry Christmas, Horde!!
Enjoy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpUzD2GNr6Q