I’m experiencing some low-grade irritation this morning. Oh, nothing to send my hand sailing through my hair — not yet, anyway — but enough to cause me to periodically growl like a dog, and mutter bitches, balls, and associated phrases under my breath.
Please allow me to explain…
First of all, someone in India bombarded the Surf Report with comment spam over the weekend. He (I assume) left a cubic yard of incomprehensible messages, each containing a link to a page selling air purifiers(??).
I stupidly let the guy in, after his first comment went to the moderation queue and seemed authentic enough. I approved it, and that allowed him to post directly to the site. So, while I slept on Friday night, he went to work…
And when I stumbled to my computer the next morning it was just a jamboree of broken English, straight-up gibberish, and humidifiers. What in the Queen Anne-style hell?? It took me a half-hour to delete all that crap, and mark each comment as SPAM.
Then another, smaller wave came pouring in, which I zapped within seconds of it hitting the site. I noticed he tried to post more comments since, but they’re now going to the spam folder. So, maybe it’s over.
I’m not a fan of any of it.
Then a reader informed me that the site isn’t indexed at Google — once again! Last week (I think) I found out the Surf Report had apparently been hacked, and dozens and dozens of invisible spam links were inserted into the source code.
This is done to increase Google rankings for rip-off artists. They somehow gain access to sites with genuine traffic, insert their links, and hope the Google spiders and robots will believe they’re genuine links/endorsements. Thus “earning” their shitty sites a higher ranking in search results.
So, I had the bad code removed, changed my admin passwords, and applied for “reconsideration” at Google. They let me back in, and I thought the issue was behind me.
But now it’s happened again. All those invisible links are back, and I’ve been re-booted from the Google search engine. If you do a search for “wvsr” you now get a radio station, and the West Virginia Split Rail company. Grrr…
Plus, the RSS via email feature worked for a couple of days, and promptly shit the bed again. I have no clue what’s going on there, and don’t have much time to devote to it. But the situation is triggering many of the “bitches and balls” outbursts.
And I allowed the t-shirts to get away from me. Again: my fault. All have now been mailed, though, with the exception of five or six orders for the miscommunication shirts.
I wasn’t paying close enough attention to it, and oversold a couple of the sizes. So, being the fantastic businessman that I am (America’s Richard Branson!), I had to order more of the fuck-up shirts — at full price. Therefore, I’ll be losing money on those five or six orders. But it’s my problem, and not a big deal.
I’m waiting on a minimum order (24), which should be ready momentarily, and I’ll take the percentage mailed from 99% to 100%. I apologize for the delay, but the shirts look pretty great, and hopefully that’ll be enough to buy back your love.
And speaking of Surf Report shirts… I reduced the price of the blue/gray Evil Twin design — probably my all-time favorite — to $15, all sizes. That’s a three dollar discount on the big ‘uns, and a dollar off the regular sizes. Shipping is included, of course.
I did raise the price on the miscommunication shirts to $12, because of the full-price reorder, but that’s still a heck of a deal.
And I’m making this promise, because I want to be fair and can’t take the stress/guilt, to anyone who buys a shirt from this day forward: I’ll turn all orders around within 48 hours. I’ll try to get it into the mail the next morning, but no later than the following day.
That is, of course, after the 24 shirt miscommunication reorder arrives… As one of my old bosses (now deceased) used to say, “You can’t ship what you ain’t got.” But I should have them in a couple of days. The other styles are on-hand, and ready to go now.
And I know this update is turning into some kind of bizarre diatribe about behind-the-scenes boolshit, like Lenny Bruce near the end. But these are things I needed to get off my mannery glands… I want to keep you guys in the loop.
Now for the pisser to end all pissers…. Yesterday I went to work, as I do on every Sunday afternoon, and my boss was there. He doesn’t work on Sundays, so this concerned me.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” he said.
“What? Forgot what?” I answered.
“You’re supposed to be off today. I came in to cover for you.”
“I’m supposed to be off? What do you mean?”
“Remember, I asked if you could work this coming Friday? And I said you could take Sunday off, if you wanted?”
“Shit!”
So, I was supposed to have an extra-long weekend, but forgot. I reported for work on a day-off! How is that even possible? I don’t forget these kinds of things — ever.
But since I’d driven 36 miles, he said I could take Wednesday off instead. So, I’ll be working Sunday thru Tuesday, and Friday. I guess that’s a decent compromise. But I’m still a little rattled by it all.
Everything’s getting away from me. Is there such a thing as time-released retardation? I’m afraid I’ll be sticking lunchmeat to the wall, by 2012. I really am.
And that’s gonna do it for today, my friends. I don’t really have a Question, so just tell us what’s pissing you off today. Use the comments link to bring us up to date on it.
And I’ll see ya tomorrow.
I also need dental work tomorrow and have maxed out the lousy $1,500 a year we get. Had a toofache since last Tuesday, Dentist was on vacation. I have swollen gums and a toothache in a tooth I just spent $800.00 on last Summer for root canal
I’m pissed that I need to do laundry and the dryer doesn’t work, resulting in hauling laundry out to dry at Laundromat.
My house needs cleaned and I just took Vicodin that the lovely dentist gave me today AHHHHH. nothing will get done.I do work a warehouse job full time so I’m not a lazy shit.
Dave, I love Prog. I’m going to have to check out that CD you mentioned!
Sixty ff-ff-fffff–ff—fff–first!! I fffff-fff-ffigured by the time I said that I would bbbb–bb-bbbbbbb-be sixty fff-ffffff–ff–fff first. Maybe nn–nnnn-nn-not!?
I am pissed off that I got up for work early, got into my car at 5:30am to the sound of “click click click”. Now while I am a female, I do know a thing or two about cars and I know it is my battery. I call AAA (because who else do you call at 5:30am?) and they leave me waiting for an hour….YES AN HOUR!!! I am pissed that they made me miss 2 meetings.
Then the tow truck driver tells me it isn’t my battery, but it is my starter. Again…I am female, but not an idiot…I know it is my battery. But alas…I say fine…tow me to my mechanic.
Mechanic gives me an estimate for new starter (and I had him throw in an oil change since I am already there) and it was $850. WTF?!?!?!?!?!
Even more pissed, but what choice is there when one has no car.
Mechanic calls back to say hooray, not the starter, its the battery (to which in my head I say…no shit sherlock). Then proceeds to tell me how they would like to do this other maintenance works since my car is there.
I am so damn pissed…I tell them just do what you need to do so I can have my car back.
STUPIDRASSINFRASSINPEOPLE
I’ll tell you what PISSED me off over the last few days… My version of Black Lips Hooligan. My 5 month old yellow labrador “Chance” seems to have eaten a somewhat large paper clip. Paper clip wedges in stomach, dog eats grass & sticks to ease stomach discomfort and begins to shit blood.
The Vet informs me that emergency surgery is necessary to remove the blockage. Now I am the proud recip[ient of a large freezer bag full of digusting looking “ruffage”, sticks, a blue rubber hose washer, a somewhat large bronze looking paper clip and a $1208.36 veterinary bill. Merry F’n Christmas you stupid mutt. There went my new home entertainment sound system!
On top of everything else, during the time perior you site got hacked I tried to log in at work like I always do it fell under “Malicious Website”. Now it is forever none to the system at work as one of those and I can never get lunch dose of Surf Report again. Curses!!!!
Plus, I’ve got a nasty cold. Great.
Alternator on the truck started charging erratically yesterday. High of 19 volts to a low of zero. Pulled the alternator and read the sticker the rebuilder marked it with indicating that it was serviced November 2007.
Two years on an alternator?
Nuts.
The last one was on the truck five years.
I chose to buy the alternator (and most of my parts) at the local “mom & pop” parts place because I wanted to support local merchants.
Alas, there is no warranty on their parts.
This time I went to Autozone and got an alternator with a lifetime replacement warranty.
I’ll let you know in two years how it’s working…
Wow, I can’t believe how many typos I have, the cough medicine must be starting to work.
I’m pissed that I’m an RN now and I can’t find a fucking job. Never mind that there’s a goddam article posted every goddam day about the goddam nursing shortage. Never mind that I work at a very large hospital and still can’t get a job there. Never mind that my student loans are going to come due in 3 more months and my savings is bleeding out just to cover normal living expenses that my shit-paying job can’t cover. And if one more person tells me “Oh that’s great, nursing is the field to be in” I’m going to punch them in the fucking throat. Yeah yeah I know once I have experience behind me then the doors will be wide open but that doesn’t do me a bit of fucking good right now. FUUUUUCK!!
Got my miscommunication shirt today. If this was a mistake, I just might have to order one of the “planned” shirts. This is one great looking shirt, Jeff! Thanks again!
–j
Dude, I was going to start a long tirade, then read all the comments, and after 3 whole days off work, I have nothing to bitch about. WTF?
I have student loans, yet no degree. Yet. I have no job to pay said loans. My hubby shoulders all that. He didn’t know me when I went to college. I stay home to watch our three kids..he is a good guy 🙂
Least I can do. Have Obama erase our loans and I won’t be so pissed. good times!!
why is there ALWAYS shit around the inside of the toilet bowl at work. Why? I’m really starting to think Im working with a bunch of chimps dressed in business casual attire and i just never noticed it. wtf? I’ve never shit around the inside of the toilet, im not even sure how thats doable….like the part right below the seat. It cant be possible for there to be a different person with explosive diarrhea every day can it? Granted, your ass isnt touching it but it’s close enough for a tapeworm to jump, i swear.
@AWG…I’m right there with you. Heck, I have thewvsr.com bookmarked on a government computer.
And Jeff, you gotta know it’s spam when the Indian guy didn’t preface his pitch for the air purifier with “FIRST!”
And on to my shitty day…15yo sectret was in a teenage girl hormonal snit when I woke up. Then I let the wife drive my 4WD pickup to her 3 hour a day part time job…because there was a blizzard going on in Nome at the time. Hence, I had to drive the
Toyota Matrix (that she dearly loves) through snow drifts to get a frickin’ root canal at the dentist…then got the frickin’ car stuck in a snow bank pulling into the parking spot at my house after it was done.
Got to work half an hour late, and it was a total shit storm of douchebaggery.
On the upside, my ex wife’s son called and is coming up from Seattle over Christmas. The 15yo secret has decided she still loves me. And I am now eating dinner and listening to a great show called “Musical Collisions” on KNOM.
I guess it all evens out at the end of the day.
So wait, now you’re telling me that I can’t buy products that will enlarge my manhood from the WVSR? Wotta rip-off!
A goddam truck just showed up with 48 humidiifieres/ air purifier combos. Of course, after seeing his inteneded delivery I asked, “What the fuck is all this?” He said “I don”t know. It’s for the DTO Company. Sign here.”
“Who’s it from?”. I thought I may as well ask. “Don’t know.”, he informed me in probably the best ‘I could give as shit’ voice I’ve ever heard. I said, “I ain’t signing for that.” and I looked at the bill of ladding and it was signed by a guy named Bryon. I can add two and two and I know curry when I smell it. ‘Hey truck driver dude. you keep ’em…what are these?” I asked when two fairly good sized boxes with ‘Adult Signature Required’ plastered all over them caught my eye.. Now I’m guessing it’s either ammo or porn stuff. He said, “I don’t know…I gotta take ’em about eighty miles east of Alamosa, and then head back down to the city. Sucks. Long night.” So I say …”How ’bout I sign for those two and you go back home, find a place out there on I-40 at the truck stop and sell that crap for sixty bucks a pop off the back of your truck.” He said, “Sounds like a deal.” I loaded up my arms with both boxes and headed off. “Hey…you gotta sign for those.”, he yelled. to me. I told him that’s no problem but since my hands were full could he just go ahead and sign it for me. He seemed quick to agree to that and asked…”What’s your name?” I called back…Just put down Brian and then I spelled it for him..”.B…R…Y…O…N.”
Wow, there is enough anger here to make the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man grow huge and take out an entire city.
Anger rocks! Hooray for anger!
On IPOD right now- “Jesus Built My Hotrod”- Ministry
What’s pissing my off today? The same thing that pisses me off every day.
Hippies
paMIKE-I thought the mad shitter worked for my company. A coworker and me have been tossing around theories as to how you can get poop splattered so high on the wall of the bowl but I think I’m going to go with chimps dressed in business casual and let it go at that. No wonder Jeff shits at home there’s prolly a mad shitter in Scranton, CA, Atlanta…
Speaking of Jeff, my smoking fish air purifier showed up yesterday, it kick ass, not a hint of reefer smoke left in the house.
Sorry no pissed off yinzers here today. Here we go STEELERS.
SoS-My bad, a man can dream can’t he. Looks like Sunday’s gonna be a good ol’ good one. Apologies to the rest of you Pittsburgh fans, I’ll keep my mouth shut.
@WB in OH, Son of Sam
Pissed off Yinzer checking in, late as usual. You’ve all heard it before, but I’m pissed that the ex took off, “stole” the car and left me with a house I can’t afford to pay rent on that is full of nearly two decades worth of shit to sift through/throw away/sell/donate by the end of the year. That’s when the little possessions I will have by then go into storage and I’ll be living on a friend’s couch for who knows how long.
I’m out of drugs. And down to the last roll of toilet paper which I think will be replaced by a roll stolen from a local bar because I don’t have money to spend on something that is literally getting thrown down the shitter.
The fucking neighbors parked their piece of shit in the street parking space I usually use in front of my house (to park my friend’s borrowed car that I’m using) and they never move the damned thing. Just sell the fucker already.
It is turning into winter in Western PA. Gun in the mouth season. I’m going to have to take a trip south in January or February to shake off the post holiday aggression/blues and soak up some sun and alcohol.
The Steelers won last night, but unlike Blag Dahlia I didn’t fuck any girls in Pittsburgh.
There ya go. Have a tolerable day, Surf Reporters.
yinzers and se. ohioan. this coming sunday will be fun. replay of jan 2006 (don’t break our qb). but a true shoot out for first. i hope the cats win but at heinz field will be tough. even with a loss we’ll still have a better divisional record. same head to head. common opponents we win so far. conference, we win.
ahem.
put fries on that. bitches.
I am very happy to post the 74th comment, and would like to make a request: Mr Kay, can you write more about air purifiers? That’s exactly the sort of content that I would enjoy reading about.
I stay at a constant and elevated state of being pissed off. It helps ease the transition into a higher stage of DEFCON when something or someone really irritating surfaces. You may think I am smiling, but I am actually gritting my teeth…hard!
Rat Bastard I’ve kinda been there. Not as bad as you but it sucks the big one. Sunshine, young girls and gin may be the cure. Good luck.
WB and t- Sunday will be a good one them Steelers are on a roll without a bunch of starters. Good teams do that.
i will say this, all cincy offense is awesome right now
Oh yes; the question about what is pissing me off right now:
Well, I am very pleased to relate to you that I am very angry about photosynthesis today. I’m just not going to put up with it any longer. I’m determined to put a stop to it.
@ Melissa- What server are you on? My wife and I play on Alterac Mountains. My main is a 80 DK, and my alt. is a 80 Pally. I have about 5 others but use them just for bank space. My wife has 10? I think. Whatever the max is. I am almost geared with all 80 epic! Our guild name is “No Cream No Sugar” in case you are on the same server…
@bikerchick – most warranties allow for car rental during extended repairs. Double check…
@ CADude – My wife and I have both been on this Earth for nearly 50 years and have collected very few handouts from the government (no welfare, unemployment, or food stamps). We have received both state and federal money for furthering our respective educations (NBPTS for example). We consider ourselves very fortunate.
My wife works as a teacher and nearly 97% of the 1,000 or so students are on some type of government assistance. They receive reduced-fee lunches, their books are paid for, etc. Even a $5 locker fee which the school uses for locker maintenance at the end of each year is waived. Some truly need this assistance, while others wear gold jewelery and have the latest and greatest cell phone. Meanwhile we’re both driving 15+ year old cars, still have a CRT television, and save every scrap of cash that comes in (hence the new home).
I completely understand where you’re coming from (when my wife was overjoyed that the bill was signed, I said half jokingly, “You’ll be the death of this country.”) This business of printing money with unlimited ink is a sad state of affairs. However, we’ve always paid in, and watched others use our money foolishly. Quite frankly, we’re glad to get something back that we’ll spend wisely.
Now, tell me how a CA *DUDE* broke the heel on one of his (?) pumps (or is this a CA thing?).