I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was nice, but (in my case) quite abbreviated. My parents were here, and I got to spend Thursday and part of Friday with them, but beyond that… Toney and the boys served as hosts. I was back at the job by Friday afternoon, because, you know, those sixty hours aren’t going to work themselves.
Toney is always paranoid when my folks come to town. Their house is like a museum – with nothing even a centimeter out of place. And ours is not. “It feels like the health inspectors are coming,” she said earlier in the week. And I thought that was pretty funny.
But it went well, I believe. Dinner on Thursday was good, and Friday’s leftovers were even better. We didn’t drink as much of the recipe as we would’ve, under normal circumstances. But nobody got the shakes, or anything. Heh.
The only downside of the visit was hour upon hour upon hour of… The Weather Channel. Why do so many people, when they reach a certain age, develop an insatiable thirst for weather forecasts? “It’s supposed to be sunny tomorrow,” is good enough for me. In fact, I don’t even need that much. Who gives a crap about weather, unless it’s radically extreme? I don’t even notice it, 99.9% of the time. I mean, seriously. It’s not like we live in a thatched hut, or something.
The Weather Channel showed a never-ending loop of stock footage, featuring people exiting shopping malls around the country, all day long. I saw the same woman carrying a box with the Westinghouse logo on the side, roughly seventy-five (possibly one hundred) times. I was about ready to walk out to the garage, cross myself like a Latin baseball player, throw a rope over a roof beam, and find sweet release.
Somebody also cranked the heat during the first night, and the house was like a sweat lodge. None of us slept very well, because we were all thrashing around, and getting twisted-up in the covers. I drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the night, and woke up more tired than when I’d gone to bed.
But, other than that, it wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was really nice to spend time with my parents; it’s probably been a year. I need to make more of an effort to visit them, before full Harry Chapinization takes hold. Or something worse.
On Thursday night we watched some home movies, created when the boys were pre-school aged, and that was surprisingly fun. Whenever we bust out the vintage videos, we seem to watch the same ones – usually the baby years. I can’t remember seeing the pre-school/kindergarten edition in a long time. The Secrets were cute, and always smiling. Andy even made a cameo appearance as a goofy, clumsy pup. Against all odds, I enjoyed watching the old footage.
On Thanksgiving morning I rummaged through our big ass newspaper (the worst day of the year to be a paperboy…just an FYI), which was packed-out with ads featuring all the stores’ “amazing” Black Friday bargains. Wal-Mart had a Flip UltraHD camera for $99, and there were a couple of crazy deals on TVs, but other than that… nothing really caught my eye.
I noticed K-Mart (I think) was having a six-hour underwear “event,” and that made me laugh. I imagined a street fair atmosphere, with accordion music, and people engaging in wild Russian crouch-dancing — around a giant bin of multi-colored Hanes ball socks. Do people really give each other packages of standard, everyday underwear, to celebrate the birth of the Lord? I don’t get it.
In any case, did you go through the big stack o’ ads on Thursday? And, if so, what caught your eye? I don’t know if I’ve finally reached a point where I have almost everything I want, or what. ‘Cause I almost never see anything that captures my imagination anymore. What about you?
Also, is there something you’re hoping Santa will bring you this Christmas? I’m fixated on the Kindle, almost exclusively. My birfday is coming up in a few days, and I planned to treat myself to the $139 Kindle, but I think I’m going to have to wait until Christmas. Necessary expenditures are still taking precedent, unfortunately.
And if Santa doesn’t come through for me, I’m fully prepared to take matters into my own hands. I will not allow some fatass in a ludicrous Velour suit to hold disproportionate power over my life.
Are you hoping for something special this year? If so, please tell us about it in the comments.
And before I call it a day here, I’d like to remind you, once again, to use our Amazon links while doing your holiday shopping. Tomorrow is something they’re now calling “Cyber Monday,” which sounds pretty douchey to me… But if you find yourself getting caught up in the vortex of that deal (or any other shopping day for that matter), please enter the Amazon site through one of our links. It’ll cost you nothing extra, but will help support the Surf Report.
Thank you very much, and I’ll see you guys again on Monday.
Have a great day!
I stayed home on Black Friday with some Black guys.
jtb
Can’t think of anything special I want this year, other than my very own Big Ass TV. But we’ll have to see.
1st?! Man, it’s been a while.
I’ve had some sort of bug I can’t shake so I followed up Thanksgiving Thursday with As Long As I Stay In Bed And Keep Drinking Nyquil Everything Remains Black Friday, Slackurday and today will be Every Intention Of Putting Up The Christmas Tree But That Shit Ain’t Gonna Happen Sunday. It’s times like these that me happy my wife was born without the nag gene.
And on Cyber Monday I’m going fishing with Thomas Dolby.
Also “…cross myself like a Latin baseball player” caused cranberry to exit a couple of my bodily openings.
I once had a six-hour underwear event, and spent the next day replacing my underWardrobe. All worth it, without a doubt.
regards…
jtb
I see what you did there.
Some comedian once said it best: The Weather Channel is Sesame Street for old people. It’s endlessly fascinating and, without being pulled away, they will happily watch it for hours on end.
My grandfather is like this, and has two problems: he hates commercials, and is somewhat hard of hearing. So you get a few minutes of silence followed by a few minutes of blaring weather reports… all day long. Once I stayed in a motel next to his room during a family trip, and the only way I could get to sleep was to turn on TWC so I wasn’t distracted by the constant back and forth.
On the road again.
Just can’t wait to get on the road again.
The life I love is makin’ music with my friends
And I can’t wait to get on the road again.
.
For the Good Lord’s sake, send lawyers, guns and money to Willie. We need him back out on the highway. Hell, six ounces doesn’t even constitute probable cause for Willie. Even in Texas. I think the Dude will back me up on this legal point.
the clock ticks…
jtb
If the scales of justice were of the sliding variety, finding less than a kilo on Willie’s bus would result in a “sorry to disturb your stash” apology.
In Texas, I’m not sure the scales slide that way.
I don’t understand Black Friday and Thanksgiving does not compute.
It is however snowing like a bastard here!
Happy Sunday!
Another Eddie take kinda helps a bit. Sums it up nicely.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAOQtp-3b48
Ian…
Thanksgiving is when we celebrate the transmission, to the North American indigenous population a number of Eurocentric diseases, primarily smallpox.
Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, is when Americans go Christmas shopping and, afterward, exhausted, visit Indian casinos to make reparations.
If you want a big-picture cultural translation guide to American customs, “follow the money” is a good place to start.
Hope this helps…
jtb
Thanks for that guys.
So to sum up….. it would seem that your giving thanks for the fact that the First Nation peoples did not have a very good defence policy and that the pilgrim fathers (we call them ‘Outcasted Heathens’) were willing to take their food in exchange for giving them new diseases and rights to open casinos.
What’s not to celebrate?
Well, its hot and sweaty as a fat mans crotch here in the tropics. I’m sweatint while I’m just sitting here at the computer. Damn, it drives me nuts. Where’s my air con remote???? Actually, thats what I want for christmas. A few universal remotes! Right, I’m off to write a letter to Santa….
I have no particular wants this year, save a car that isn’t psychotic. But then, I pretty much want that ALL of the time.
I didn’t participate in the madness known as Black Friday. In fact, I haven’t been past my mailbox in over 48 hours. I refuse to buy into the madness. Thankfully, my kid is still in the ‘put the tree up immediately so I can stare at the lights’ obsession stage. She’ll be a teen soon, so I expect that to pass…
Jeff you’re the metaphore jedi.
I worked from home on the ‘Merican Thanksgiving. I tried to watch the parade but work got in the way. I did catch video of a Tarrjay black Friday stampede. It was like knowing you were going 10 minutes longer than you should have after a serious bowl rumbler; finally being able give ‘er (FIRE IN THE HOLE) but the involuntarily pinching off when you notice (oh NOOOO) no toilet paper. Two hunder people per minute when the door opens….complete stop (SHOPPER DOWN SHOPPER DOWN)…and then just a trickle…
I like how a few people hurdled the fallen and didn’t even look back to see if they could help or if anyone was hurt. “Seriously, they had 80% off, I ain’t waitin for nobody I don’t know and miss out on the sales”. Kharma hotline, please hold.
Christmas wish list
– Peace in the Koreas…or else Martin Lawrence may be right…”this shit just got real”.
– Monkey butler
– Vince sham wow’s head on a spear
– a Leaf victory.. just one…
– a part time job for the boy – he spends more of my money than I do
– a winter without falling on my ass even once – interpretive dance Tourette’s near misses included
– a healthy back for JTB
– a Whiltshier Farms dried sausage
– less alien anal probing – side note – are dogs aliens?
– a thong – why can’t I have anything pretty?
– a Kindle
I used your WVSR Amazon link yesterday to buy a Kindle ($189) and a $25 Kindle/Amazon Gift Card for my Daughter. I have never done such targeted online purchasing so I can only assume you will be duely reimbursed.
I am hoping for a small box with something shiny in it this year. Me and the Mr have not been getting along and all I can say is shiny stuff melts my little black heart.
I am waiting until christmas eve to put our tree up and I will take it down the day after.
I did all my shopping online last week. Slowly the boxes have been trickling in. I still don’t understand sending one item at a time. I can wait until all the items are in stock and then they could send it all out at once. But whatever since I didn’t pay shipping anyways.
Toney is quite the smart-ass in her own right. Very funny update.
jtb is on a roll today. Very good stuff.
I would like to have enough money to pay Giada to sit in my kitchen and drink tea.
I gotta go install a printer. Later.
Since she would be in your kitcehn why not just have here wash a bushel of cucumbers
Made me laugh – Thanks!
I wanted the htc EVO, then I wanted a fambly plan for the Evil Twin and Buddy, I got all that already, but if I could only get their phones up and running, it’d be great. Right now, mine is the only one in operating mode. Grrrrr. It sounded like a good idea when we talked about it….
Wife’s birthday was yesterday. She wanted a Kindle and after looking everything over, went with the Nook color. Lots of Barnes & Noble benefits and that is her fav hangout while waiting for the kids at music lessons.
I was hoping the Nook for her would lead to Nookie for me. No such luck.
I love my Nook. I spend tons of time in B & N, so it makes more sense to me than the Kindle.
You HAVE to get a 3G Kindle – no questions, no excuses for not spending the little bit extra! It takes it from an e-reader (boring) to getting books, magazines, newspapers blogs, info from around the world at your fingertips any time (opposite of boring). In fact, it’s how I entered the blogosphere and found yours! So there you go.
oh and , your bit about the underwear event cracked me up! I posted it to my FB status with a link to your site.
“cross myself like a latin baseball player” LMAO!!! also i got a virgin mobile prepaid cell phone from best buy online on thanksgiving day for $69.99 regular price $150.00. i had my eye on that phone for a while so it was a good deal.
My Christmas wish is a double edge razor set. You know, the old timey razor that you have to unscrew to put what looks like an industrial style razor blade into the contraption. That along with a nice badger brush and a cup to whip up lather in. I’ve been wanting that for a few years now, i hat how much disposable razors cost.
And I sure as shit better get it, seeing as how a specifically sent the wife all the information necessary to get exactly what I want.
I swear if I get $300 worth of summer sausage I’m going to be pissed.
Dear husband got just such a set earlier this year. I didn’t buy it for him, I get cold chills every time he shaves. Safety razor my ass. I press 9-1- and hover my finger over 1 every morning until he emerges from the bathroom without obvious arterial spurting.
Some nice ones here:
http://www.groominglounge.com/shave-razors.html
Kinda spendy tho.
Oh, I went to see Roger Waters perform The Wall last night.
It was awesome in the true sense of the word.
Yea, I went through that humongous stack of ads which came with our paper. The stack of ads was actually thicker than the paper. No, I really wasn’t interested in anything. I got the B.A.T. last year, and although I still look at the tv ads, I’m not going to get another one this soon. K-Mart has some MP3 player earbuds on sale, and I need some new ones. That’s about it. They’re like $4.98 a pair, and the way I go through them, that’s about the right price.
Top 30? Nice.
Don’t do Black Friday. There’s enough madness to be shared during the other 364 shopping days. I hate shoppping!
We don’t do the underwear giving but I like to buy the family some new PJs to wear around the house on Christmas Day.
We always operated on the philosophy that Christmas presents would be something that you really didn’t need, but just wanted. Something special. Bling. Giving someone something they needed just to survive, like underwear, really wasn’t a present. More like a cop-out. You shouldn’t have to wait until Christmas to get something you need on a daily basis. Now, lingerie is completely different. . . .
Christmas wish list? Peace amongst the fam. WWIII is brewing and the drama is turning me grey from my eyebrows to the nether regions.
Yea, and Christmas provides an opportunity for everyone with an agenda to show their worst side. Hope things work out for you.
Nice remake of the Black Flag logo. Henry Rollins I’m sure wont mind,,,,,,
I have never done a Black Friday shopping thing ever..it makes no sense to me…maybe its cause I don’t have shopping money and no one to buy for anyway besides my brother and he is getting a handmade crocheted blanket made by me.
Jeff, please look into the Nook Color.. to me, it’s way better than the Kindle.. I would get one but I am waiting on the Blackberry Playbook to come out first.. I use Barnes n Noble like a library so i can see what books i like than go to amazon to get them cheaper.. guess i’m a jerk that way.. oh well, at least i will go through your link to amazon..
Lost a good friend and coworker on Wednesday so the holidays are still shitty..I drank a Yuengling in his honor.. he had just discovered Yuengling and loved it..dammit i got to go..
Sorry to hear that, Lori. My condolences.
Thank you Greg.. I appreciate it..
Lori…
I send my condolences as well. All I can offer is sympathy and I know that doesn’t really help. Only time helps, and that not much.
my best wishes…
jtb
Sorry to hear about your friend, Lori. But I gotta tell you, you are part of this weird ass community…started by Jeff Kay, and you are truly “one of us.” You have our community to lean on. We here are truly the “Land of Broken Toys,” and we’re all proud of it!
Treasure your time with your parents, Jeff.
From someone who could have done it more.
Blessings and Peace.
Buzz
The only thing stupider that Black Friday is Cyber Monday. On some level, it pisses me off that I have to actually work on Monday, while others get paid to do their shopping at “work”. I can’t remember the last time I read a real newspaper, so no ad-perusing here.
We had T’giving at the home of some friends; very nice, good food and company, etc. But on the way home, around 12:30am, the car radio said there were huge backups on the Beltway from people trying to get to Tysons Corner Mall, which had opened at midnight. God, I thought, this is way beyond the normal levels of stupidity.
I could wish for better internet access, but the real “gift to myself” is the new air conditioning system that’s scheduled to be installed on Dec 30; gotta get that tax break :^|
And yes, the giving of underwear is an abomination. Don’t do it.
.
Here in the Great White North, stores seem to be trying hard this year to keep shoppers here. While we don’t have ‘black friday’ fever (closest thing would be Boxing day) there seemed to be a higher than normal amount of good deals available. Some stores even claiming they’ll price match with US stores. I ventured out and bought engine oil. Exciting eh?
As for what caught my eye, snow blowers. I always say I’ll get one next year while cursing at shoveling the stuff. But here I sit again, shovel at the ready…
Yow, thanks for reminding me. I broke my “good” shovel last year, need to replace it.
You may call it engine oil, but I call it living the dream.
.
I was the reason last winter was so mild…bought a generator, a big ass snowblower and a set of snow tires…Each snowfall cost me an average of $500 so far.
A snowblower is a beautiful thing. Alex I seem to remember you’re near Ottawa? Good god man, you need one more than me and I’m in the snowbelt off of Georgian Bay! I like how our nation’s capitol has beware of moose signs on the roads leading in to it.
I guess Leslie Nielsen picked a bad day to quite breathing.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/40410087
Back on topic: malls suck, Black Friday sucks, and discount store stampedes only suck if you’re stupid enough to be in one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26nEpOgy34U
Yep, my spleen might be ruptured, but dagnabbit I’m getting a good deal on a Disney Princess Musical Keyboard Vanity that will send mixed messages to my prepubescent daughter!
Aw crap, I forgot, there’s a one link limit on comments. Hold on.
I guess Leslie Nielsen picked a bad day to quite breathing. 🙁
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/40410087
my comments aren’t sticking…or something.
I meant to say…Nice beaver!
Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
He would have been a cool guy to have as an uncle. You were a good man Mr Nielson.
Malls suck, Black Friday sucks, and discount store stampedes only suck if you’re stupid enough to be in one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26nEpOgy34U
Yep, my spleen might be ruptured, but dagnabbit I’m getting a good deal on a Disney Princess Musical Keyboard Vanity that will send mixed messages to my prepubescent daughter!
No black friday shopping for me…instead, I drove my mother to the airport and then headed home through two malls worth of traffic, then turned around and went back the next day for the OSU-Michigan game. Not worth it, by the way. As much as I love me some Buckeyes, it’s not worth the hassle to see such a lopsided game. Also, hoping Santa, or whoever seems to be shopping for my christmas presents this year, brings me the Ruger .380 Pistol I asked for. Specifically, a Ruger LCP, for all you gun nuts out there. A tiny little pistol to stuff in my sock. As usual, I’ll end up getting fifty pairs of socks, two flannel shirts, and fifteen presents that are related to things I use for my hobbies, but not really applicable. Like last year when I got a whole set of duck decoys. Not a duck hunter, but they look okay in my living room.
reflections…
Yeah, I once thought I got a virgin mobile prepaid, but she wasn’t and she wasn’t and she wasn’t.
Somehow, black friday and Black Flag go together, one being a parody of the other.
m…Arterial Spurting would be a fine name for a punk group circa Black Flag.
tracy…I’ll steer clear of your marital afflictions, but withholding affection until bling is delivered is a cosmic joke that fits well at the WVSR, although it is not the Sufi way.
piss, the Dude never showed to provide validation of my legal defense of Willie Nelson. I guess I need to carry on with common law.
Bear…OK, you weren’t a duck hunter UNTIL NOW, but once you get your Ruger .380 Pistol, go after those quacking bastards. But no fair drawing until you actually see them.
Lelsie Nielsen was a gentle, decent, modest, talented man. In other words, a Canadian. Godspeed, Mr. Nielsen.
Is there any way to combine the concept of a “WVSR 10th anniversary soiree” with the concept of a “six-hour underwear event”? I’m just askin’.
jtb
..with guns
“Lelsie Nielsen was a gentle, decent, modest, talented man. In other words, a Canadian.”
Good god John, I hope you’re not basing that on the Canucks you’ve met here?!#? If so you’re credibility is going to take a nose dive – eh.
I live two hours from the border. This profile is based on my Vancouver sampling over the last 40 years or so. Perhaps you guys back east are bastards, but the folks in BC are terrific.
jtb
I have a Kindle (got it for my birthday) and I LOVE it! Well worth getting. Barnes and Noble have the color Nook, which may also be cool since you can get magazine subscriptions and such.