While Toney was cooking dinner on Friday, she asked if I could go to the store and pick up some bread. Not a problem, I told her, ’cause I was planning to go for Boddington’s anyway.
The younger Secret said he wanted to ride along, undoubtedly betting he’d be able to score a Kit Kat at checkout, and we took off with a Cinderella CD blaring from the speakers. …That’s right, Cinderella.
And while approaching a small shopping center on the right, I noticed some doucheketeer nosing his way into traffic. “Stop right there, asslips!” I shouted, and it appeared the guy did as he was told. It looked like he’d seen us coming, and was now waiting for our car to pass.
However, that wasn’t an accurate reading of the situation. Oh no. When we were only about twenty yards from the idiot, he pulled out, right in front of us. He’d been sitting there for a long time, and waited until a vehicle was UPON HIM before making his move.
And that’s when my almost fourteen year streak came to an abrupt end. I slammed on the brakes, carefully swerved, and yelled, “What the fuck?!”
I’d never said that word in front of the kids, not once. Oh, I say plenty, but there’s a line I won’t cross. And that line begins at fuck.
Of course, neither of our boys are delicate flowers. They listen to lots of questionable music, and live on a steady diet of Family Guy and South Park. Plus, you know, both are in middle school. But I felt kinda bad about it, anyway. What am I, Sunshine now? What’s next, a lifetime ban from the Old Country Buffet?
But the boy just chuckled, shrugged, and said, “I don’t care” when I apologized. And then I bought him one of the big Kit Kats at the grocery store.
If you have kids, is there a line you won’t cross with your language? Or do you just let it all hang out? Tell us about it, won’t you?
And since I posted half an update on Sunday, and got a late start with this one… let’s consider it the second half. How’s that for justifying a weak-ass effort?
In yesterday’s comments you guys started telling us what you ate for breakfast that day, for reasons unknown, so let’s just make it official. If you’ve got nothing on the subject above, or even if you do, why not tell us what you had for breakfast this morning? Simple and easy.
For the record, I had nothing but coffee, like on most days. I almost never eat breakfast, unless Toney makes it on weekends. I’ve never been able to eat right out of bed… I have to eeeeease into the day. Usually I just start with lunch. Or, I’ll have a handful of cookies with my Eight O’Clock coffee.
What about you? Tell us all about it.
And have a great day, folks.
I’ll see ya tomorrow.
I just got the flu for the first time in my life last week. Thought I was severely hungover (due to the sole debauchery I produced the prior evening) but after 48 hours of shivers, vomiting and other nasty things I knew I had something else. It was awful, but I lost 9 pounds, so I’d do it again, anyday.
I don’t plan on getting the shot. I hate needles. Instead I do what Malcolm suggested and use the Hand Sanitizers on an all-the-time basis. Frankly if I get sick I don’t really mind, since I will do anything for time off work. Even get pig diseases.
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘Big Fatty Online’ Podcast (Episode 434).
Gretchen-From the Online Etymology Dictionary
“female intercrural foramen,” or, as some 18c. writers refer to it, “the monosyllable,” M.E. cunte “female genitalia,” akin to O.N. kunta, from P.Gmc. *kunton, of uncertain origin. Some suggest a link with L. cuneus “wedge,” others to PIE base *geu- “hollow place,” still others to PIE *gwen-, root of queen and Gk. gyne “woman.” The form is similar to L. cunnus “female pudenda,” which is likewise of disputed origin, perhaps lit. “gash, slit,” from PIE *sker- “to cut,” or lit. “sheath,” from PIE *kut-no-, from base *(s)keu- “to conceal, hide.” First known reference in Eng. is said to be c.1230 Oxford or London street name Gropecuntlane, presumably a haunt of prostitutes. Avoided in public speech since 15c.; considered obscene since 17c. Du. cognate de kont means “a bottom, an arse.” Du. also has attractive poetic slang ways of expressing this part, such as liefdesgrot, lit. “cave of love,” and vleesroos “rose of flesh.” Alternative form cunny is attested from c.1720 but is certainly much earlier and forced a change in the pronunciation of coney (q.v.), but it was good for a pun while coney was still the common word for “rabbit”: “A pox upon your Christian cockatrices! They cry, like poulterers’ wives, ‘No money, no coney.’ ” [Massinger, 1622]
It would appear to have been considered vulgar for quite sometime
…and that my friends is why I remain a Gentleman, single yes, but I am still a Gentleman. I will not lower my standards to commonality. Not to say I haven’t been down that road. I learned from my mistakes and how speak. Damn, I’m still learning, now who the fuck took off with my iPhone. Look you fuck’n cunt bastard, you come in here and drink up my gawd dam scotch, use my mother fuckin phone and now you want me to to take your piss tailed sorry ass half way accorss gawd fuck eygpt. Eh, excuse me. I have a little ass kicking to do… Ok, I’m good for another ten or twenty years of not cussing.
I am a leaf on the wind, watch me soar…and then I am gone.
I have used the C-word in traffic and on the street, but never to either of my wives. Something about getting stabbed in the head with a pair of scissors in my sleep seems to deter me from that verbal abuse. Yeah…., either one of them had or have that in them.
On IPOD right now- “Rules and Regulations” – Public Image, Ltd.
Thanks WB. All curse words are vulgar to some extant, but the c-word is considered especially insulting. I’m curious as to why it holds so much weight when compared to “bitch” or “skank”.
By the way, “No money, no coney” belongs on a t-shirt.
I’ve never had a problem with swearing in front of my kid. I swear like a sailor and he was always really good about it.
The one thing I never let my kid see until he was old enough to understand was see me drunk. I think the first time he ever saw me like that he was in his early teens.
I know this is Tuesday, but my weekday breakfast consists of Grape Nuts and a yogurt. I don’t usually eat breakfast on weekends, although I should.
Gretchen – I could care less if someone called me the c-word. I don’t find that offensive in the least. I don’t even find it offensive to be called a “bitch.”
gretchen — I thought the exact same thing about the t-shirt!
I find the c-word most offensive when I utter it myself, probably because I know the recipient will likely be outraged. On the flip side, I recall being called the c-word, and I responded by snorting loudly because I couldn’t contain my laughter. Just pissed the woman off even more and I thought she might even pull out a gun. It all depends on the context. If someone else utters it in anger, I think laughter. If uttered in the bedroom during dirty talk, no laughter. Please, go right ahead.
Bitch is such a mild word that I don’t even notice it anymore.
Can’t, won’t, never have used the ‘C’ word. Honest! I may have thought “uberbitch” on occasion, but usually just try and shake my head at weirdness and walk away. Never called a lady, girl/ gal, or even a not so a lady, a ‘name’. I’ll call a guy a prick in a heartbeat. I guess I profile. That word was only used by my wife years ago. And it was most likely directed at a guy.
DTO – Same here, several words I have and will verbalize. That being word one I won’t. Don’t know why, even having been a sailor, I can write it but I can’t say it. Writing is different because I am not projecting it to a certain indivual and I am doing it in jest. I may have thunk it a time or two but it never reached my lips.
Malcolm,
A few years ago while I was still in grad school there was a “V-Day” campaign at my university as part of a production of the Vagina Monologues. They distributed badges and stickers all over school featuring various slogans with the theme of “taking back the word”. So, for two months I walked around with a “I heart Cunt” badge on my backpack. When students complained I just pointed out that it was all in support of V-Day.
After reading the title, I thought Jeff dropped a deuce at work. Phew.
Still my hero
Tyrsoine…all this talk makes me very uncomfortable and I’m probably one of the most fucked-out wackos you could ever meet. I’m an extremely “who gives a fuck” liberal guy. I know we all like to think we’re weirder than the next guy…but since Hunter S. Thompson shot himself and the had himself shot out of cannon…well fuck…I moved move up a notch (albeit way down the pole). Just shaking my head…..and just sayin’.
Hate to keep going here but…I’ d bet that backpack badge was one hell of a ‘chick magnet’. Sorry…just seems outa line to me.
I’ll be up on the third floor watching the Tigers and the Twins have at it for the playoffs. Should be a great game! Game starts at 5:07 EST. (TBS). I’m going for a beer run.
DTO — we all have our different pain thresholds, some of which can be very surprising and ironic. You are a “fucked-out wacko” yet are bothered by a particular word. I’m not bothered much by that same word, but I get my panties in a bunch about poor grammar and spelling (and, ahem, the use of Left Coast). Someone may judge me by the four-letter words that fly out of my mouth and think of me as trash. Fair enough. I can take it. And yet, I may think the very same thing of that person for not being able to use his/her native language properly.
It seems that any topic, aside from politics and religion, is fair game here and eventually, all of us will find something that we’re uncomfortable with. It keeps things interesting and another update is just around the corner. Right, Jeff?
Quarter to four and there’s no update. I see the half-assery has shifted gears into no-assery. At this rate, I’ll have to start thinking about asking for a refund of the subscription price.
@DTO- I heard they were going to install an alcohol interlock on Miguel Cabrera’s bat. It’s a sad, sad day when baseball players start apologizing for drinking. Mickey Mantle is turning over in his grave . . . oh wait, bad example.
DTO,
It was in fact a female friend who picked it up for me, and she chose that one in particular even though there were other less offensive options (like “I heart Vaginas”).
The undergrads never complained about it and it got lots of laughs. Faculty were the ones all butthurt over it.
Byrnhildr…I do not know the proper way to say “fucked-out wacko”, so I went with that. And it was a way to show nothing really bothers me word-wise. I just feel that word is an insult to girls and I could never say it. Anyone can say, use, write, CUNT all they want so long it follows the rules of proper grammer. There…I concide the use of the word CUNT. Go for it! I’ve grown a little today I guess.
DTO, you’ve made me so proud.
(And btw fucked-out wacko is very descriptive. I used the quotation marks only because those were your words, not mine.)
Cunt is a funny word. I like it. Litteraly and figuratively. =-)
I worked with a lady who said saying cunt was vulgar… (I use it as another one of my adjectives…) Anyway, one day being extremely pissed off with some dumb cunt I let loose with a flurry of cursing that ended off with calling the dummy a stupid cunt… Miss -Thats-Vulgar, turned to me, and quite nicely said, “Yeah, she was one hell of a stupid fucking cunt… Hope the bitch never shows up here again” I laughed.
Seems ‘cunt’ is okay to use around the women folk as long as it is directed at another woman who has somehow dissed the woman you are near when you let loose.
Count me as another person who likes vagina. I’d actually like to take this opportunity to officially announce that I am in fact in favor of the vagina. If I ever run for office, it will be on a pro-vagina platform.
I might just have myself some vagina for breakfast tomorrow morning.
You got my vote man! Up the vagina!
YEEE HAAAAW-Jeff left the gate open again!!
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. – Sam Levenson
I forgot to attach theme music to my previous, sorry.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-c2OM7HEfrs
I want to present this hypothetical problem that’s been plaguing the shit out of a guy I know. It goes like this:
I have a good friend that was dating this chick. He met her at a bar in town he likes to go to all the time. They seemed to hit it off and started chatting with each other. Things seemed to go great with them and they exchanged phone numbers and started talking on the phone all ungodly hours of the night.
My friend gets a new responsibility on his job and he gets a little big headed and starts to freak out about some shit that going on in his life. It was something about an ex girlfriend that started fucking with him about some BS. He never mentions anything more than that.
He finally gets that shit quelled but the other chick thinks he flipped out about her. Now, they aren’t talking like they use to, shit gets all strained and the next thing I know, they break up. Now he’s all in a tiff about going back to his old bar because he doesn’t want to run into that same chick. It’s not that he hates her or anything like that, he just doesn’t want her to think he is stalking her or that he wants to rekindle any thing they may have had before.
So, what should the poor guy do? Go find another bar in town? Stop drinking out? Try to make things up with the chick and save his poor sanity? Personally, I feel sorry for the poor guy, he’s really a nice guy to know. By the way, it is not me.
Don’t know…I think he’s a cunt for acting all this dramatic.
Get a box of Kleenex, a bottle of Jergens and take a couple of months off the dating/bar scene, let things settle down a bit!
Wow, I didn’t realize “men” agonize over stuff like that – he sounds like a girl. Sorry! As a girl myself, my suggestion would be to continue doing things as he always has… and when he runs into chick #2, be nice and move on. She’ll probably stalk him for a while, but it’ll (hopefully) be harmless!
Is he pouting or does he just need to grow a pair? Why run away with his tail between his legs? Never give up on a favorite watering hole because of an ex. Never. He needs to stand his ground. No need for him to talk to her if she’s there. A courtesy nod, perhaps, as he’s walking to the other side of the bar far away from where she’s sitting. Exes can co-exist in the same bar if they’re both adults.
Sum Ran Dom Dewd – Sucks to be your friend dude. I’d suggest a new bar if you deal with it.
WB in OH, I’m never sure about the flu shot. Some years I get the shot, some years I don’t. Once in a while I get a flu, usually not. There doesn’t seem to be any correlation whatsoever.
WTB, it’s a new flu virus *every* year. This year, they are making two vaccines.
Jason “Most people are filthy mother fuckers.” – got that right. There was a Far Side cartoon showing a guy walking out of a restroom, and there’s an alarm bell and a flashing sign that reads DIDN’T WASH HANDS. Those need to exist in real life.
Regarding the “c-word”, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gropecunt_Lane
AWG, PiL is an outstanding choice. I think I need to put on ‘Flowers of Romance’. Better yet, digitize it.
Report from the third floor…DET 3, MIN 1.
I am on a total Roy Obrison jag. Toatally.
Chill, I prefer PiL to the Sex Pistols stuff. I’m sure Lydonstifled the marketing part of that plan, but they could be much bigger than they ever thought, had they been marketed a little better. Good shit…always.
Well, I could have written SOMETHING that nobody would read while I was still at work. thank God for that flu shot question earlier.
On home stereo right now- Fucking “All Around the Kitchen” by Dan Zanes and Friends. (Dan was cool when he was in Del Fuegos)..
I have no children, so I can let fly with my foul-mouthed tendencies whenever I feel like it. When the niece was little, I toned it down around her, but as soon as I heard about the “cussing club” in her third grade class, it was Katie bar the barn door. I’m pretty sure she was 15 when I let fly with the first F-bomb in front of her.
Breakfast consists of ice cold Coca-Cola and something sweet. If nothing sweet is readily available (because, again, no kids = I’m not making shit for breakfast), two slices of plain white bread so I can take the pills that keep me from throttling strangers.
On flu shot, my sis is an RN and she’s not a big fan at all. They see people turn up with several neurological reactions to flu shots, none of which she wants to chance experiencing as a single mom. One is Bell’s Palsy; the other is Guillain-Barre Syndrome. The first makes one side of your face muscles go all droopy. The second starts off as a tingly feeling and can end in temporary total paralysis. Both are lightening-strike rare reactions, but she’s a single mom with an incredible immune system. She takes her chances and using good handwashing and hygiene practices, and so far I have too.
Sum Ran Dom Dewd – I also suggest your friend visit the Beav, she is wise in the ways of the ninja and will school him through those agonizing parts. http://tinyurl.com/y9jom5g
I don’t recall ever censoring my language in the presence of my three sons. I should have, but I didn’t. I lost my middle son, but my two sons who are still with me never even say “shit” in front of me. They are 32 and 21 years old. I don’t know how that happened, but it did. My middle son was more like me, I guess. He gave George Carlin’s seven words a run for the money.
I’ll be 54 years old Saturday and I’ve never had a flu shot and never had the flu. Never. So far.
Sum Ran Dom Dewd. You are on the wrong website.
I never eat breakfast. I’m with the coffee and cigarette crowd.
@ Melissa. If the cursing badminton kid had been a Blaxican hybrid, I would swear it was mine! I cuss like a soldier, thanx Army, and I don’t care who’s listening. Consequently he now cusses like a lil soldier and I get shit from his mom everytime!! For breakfast I had tacos de Guatemala.
Sum Ran Dom Dewd,
Tell your friend to go back to the bar and quit being such a fucking pussy.
Do: Say “Hi” and otherwise ignore her, sit far away, have a few drinks, mind your own business.
Don’t: Stare at her, get pissed when she talks to other guys, sit near her, talk about her, get drunk if you can’t hold your liquor, act like a douche, bait her in any way.
I come into contact with a variety of people just off the boat from the UK, some of them toss the C- bomb around like it’s not going to get a reaction, but then they’re surprised that “Bloody” as an adjective isn’t seen as particularly rude… I guess cussing has it’s own dialects as well. F..ing doss c… Brits.
Sorry Limey, nothing bloody personal…
What we really need to hear, is what the Aussies think is rude…
@ Chill – flu refers to illnesses caused by a number of different influenza viruses. There are three types of influenza viruses: A, B and C. Human influenza A and B viruses cause seasonal epidemics of disease almost every winter in the United States.
Most people have natural immunity, and a seasonal flu vaccine is available. In a typical year, approximately 5 to 20 percent of the population gets the seasonal flu.
Influenza A viruses are divided into subtypes based on two proteins on the surface of the virus: the hemagglutinin (H) and the neuraminidase (N). There are 16 different hemagglutinin subtypes and 9 different neuraminidase subtypes. Influenza A viruses can be further broken down into different strains. Current subtypes of influenza A viruses found in people are influenza A (H1N1) and influenza A (H3N2) viruses. Earlier this year, a new influenza A (H1N1) virus emerged. This virus is very different from regular human influenza A (H1N1) viruses.
Regular influenza A (H1N1), A (H3N2), and influenza B viruses are included in each year’s seasonal influenza vaccine. The seasonal flu vaccine can protect against flu viruses that are the same or related to the viruses in the vaccine. The seasonal flu vaccine will not protect against the 2009 H1N1 virus. This year there is also a 2009 H1N1 vaccine.
This year, the H1N1 (Swine) flu virus may cause a more dangerous flu season with more people getting sick, being hospitalized and dying than during a regular flu season. H1N1 (Swine Flu) is a new virus first seen in the United States. It is contagious and spreads from person to person. Like seasonal flu, illness in people with H1N1 can vary from mild to severe.
Flu viruses are constantly changing. A global flu pandemic (worldwide outbreak) can happen if three conditions are met:
o A new subtype of type A virus is introduced into the human population.
o The virus causes serious illness in humans.
o The virus can spread easily from person-to-person in a sustained manner.
The H1N1 (Swine) Flu met all three conditions and has caused a worldwide outbreak. In late spring, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared that H1N1 (Swine) flu is a pandemic. (Sources HHS, CDC, WHO and flu(dot)gov)
So, yes, Chill, I understand that there are 2 vaccines. I apologize if my comment wasn’t clear when I said I don’t usually get a flu vaccine, but I may get the H1N1 vaccine. Clearly I should have added that I will most likely not get the seasonal flu vaccine again this year.
Further, I stand by my statement that this virus is new. I would consider the viruses covered by the seasonal vaccine to be, perhaps, evolving but not new. Unfortunately, all of this vaccine talk may be moot for me as I woke up this morning with that feeling that I may be coming down with something. Ugh.
Wow WTB thats more detailed than the report I did on influenza back in 7th or 8th grade. Hopefully some of the research you did for this has caused you to just assimilate temporary flu like symptoms.
WB in OH- Ha ha! You are probably right. I practice healthcare law and read a lot of medical records. I end most days suffering from a new disease.
Flu shot. Never.
The drug companies use toxins as preservatives including thimerisol (mercury derivative), formaldehyde (embalming fluid), and ethylene glycol (anti-freeze), among other poisonous shit.
The additives are especially dangerous for young children.
The mercury derivative will build up over time, your body does not have the ability to flush it out, and it will deposit in your central nervous system, particularly the brain.
Very small amounts of ethylene glycol will ruin your kidneys.
I read a study a few years ago that stated that a person who takes ten flu shots in their lifetime increases their chances of Alzheimer’s by 2000%.
No thanks, I burn enough brain cells with alcohol.
Flu shot opinion..never get the seasonal flu shot, as I have had that sickness before. Concerned with pig one, as I have younuns with Asthma. But…also have a paralyzed brother who contracted guillan barre syndrome after all the “shots”(flu included) from the army.
So..probably not. Medical issues and all..I figure if we all get it we will have lifelong immunity and tada!! all good to go!!
young ones!! spell check!!
Flu shot, not anymore. I did it several years ago and it made me sick as a dog for three weeks. Since then, I vowed not to do that again. I was so sick, even my bones hurt. Besides, I drink enough alcohol to kill anything that would attempt to attack my body.
I stopped by my friends place last night to tell him to man up and don’t give her the satisfaction. He answers the door and then steps outside. That sly dog had the chick on his sofa. He asked me what I wanted. I chuckled and said it looks like the problem is solved. He looks at me like what the hell do you mean and goes back in. Sometimes, he can be such a jizz. Guess he had a plan after all. Thanks for the advice.
Ms. White-Trash Barbie:
Apparently the 2009 H1N1 is not entirely new to the human population, as folks over the age of 65 seem to be showing some natural immunity to it. This is why the the five priority groups (as identified in the ACIP guidelines) that should be targeted to receive the vaccine initially are:
– Pregnant women
– Persons who live with or provide care for infants less than 6 months old
– Health care and emergency medical services personnel
– Persons aged 6 months to 24 years
– Persons aged 25 to 64 years who have medical conditions that put them at higher risk for
influenza-related complications.
Note that elderly folks (over the age of 64) are not mentioned here, whereas they are usually prioritized for sesonal flu shots.
I thought people 65 and older are the target group for the death panels anyway?….OK look…that was just a joke and not a swipe at any political mind set, so that wasn’t a ploitical post…mmmmK? Just a joke folks!
Yeah…you know…I’ll be on the third floorl watching the Rockies and the Philies in a bit.