This morning I was perusing a well-known blog, scrolling past all the political half-truths and communist propaganda, before finally zeroing-in on something clickable.
The words pube-trimming pulled me in…
The article at the other end of the link, this one, turned out to be a humor column by a Brit named Charlie Brooker. And I thought it was hilarious, almost perfectly executed. In fact, I opened gmail and fired off the link to a few of my friends.
Then I started reading the comments at the page where I originally found the piece, and was surprised by the reaction. There were a lot of people, it seemed, who thought the article was a shallow examination of the subject(??), probably homophobic, and quite possibly misogynistic.
A humor column about pubic hair!
I sincerely don’t understand how a person could have a stick jammed so far up their ass. Do they ever laugh? Or do they just walk around on high-alert all the time, looking for violations against The Code?
Sheesh. And these are undoubtedly the same people who accuse conservative religious-types of being humorless and judgmental. I think both ends of the spectrum have been stretched so far at this point, they’ve wrapped around and the two camps are now side by side.
I guess it’s a good thing the National Lampoon isn’t being published anymore, huh? It would undoubtedly cause thousands to wail in righteous outrage, then curl up in the floor and have a good cry. Thousands, from both groups of do-gooders.
But, anyway. Back to the subject of male pube-trimming… Any opinions on it? I’ve got nothing to offer on this one, I’m afraid. I’m 45, and from West Virginia.
Also, do you see anything offensive about the article? Perhaps I’m just an insenstivie bastard? Anything’s possible.
And speaking of defunct magazines, are there any that you genuinely miss? I loved Creem, Trouser Press, National Lampoon and, from my baseball card days, The Trader Speaks.
Creem might’ve been the best of ’em all. They usually had some big-name hair band on the front, to move copies off the grocery store shelves, but the music they covered inside was always hipper than it had a right to be.
And the writers were great. I won’t bore you with a list, but I could crank off the names of ten or twelve of their regulars, right off the top of my head.
Creem was also the funniest music mag, by a long shot. Every issue was a riot.
I grew up reading Mad, and graduated to National Lampoon when I was thirteen or so. It was edgier, with nudity on occasion, and clerks sometimes refused to sell it to me. Which was very exciting.
When I was in junior high I read an article in the magazine called “My Vagina,” by John Hughes (yes, that John Hughes), and I thought it was just about the greatest thing ever accomplished by humankind. Even greater than the pyramids…
In case you’re unfamiliar, “My Vagina” is the story of a sixteen year old boy who wakes up one morning with female genitalia. There was a companion piece, called “My Penis,” which was also genius. Both pieces blew me away. I tried to write similar stories, in a similar style, and was disappointed to realize it’s a lot harder than it looks.
The National Lampoon, I think, changed the way my brain works. And it’s probably part of the reason I thought that British ball-shaving story was such a hoot…
Trouser Press was a really good music magazine, which covered the obscure bands I liked at the time. I still have every copy I ever purchased, with flexi-discs intact.
And The Trader Speaks was a publication for hardcore sports memorabilia nutcases. Which was me, circa 1978 or so. I can still remember how the pages smelled, when they were fresh off the press. I subscribed for years, and devoured every word – even the tiny classified ads in the back.
So, there you go. Defunct magazines and topiary of the crotch…
You guys can take it from here, if you’d like.
And I’ll see ya next time.
It doesn’t mention what material the Snuggie is made from. Probably 100% polyester which would give me a static shot every time I touched anything. Not that I really want one. How silly do those people look!?!
bennigan's nazi says
bennigan's nazi says
I’d give that chick in the ad a snuggie.
The Evil Twin says
You’re right, Jeff – Creem WAS the greatest rock magazine ever! They had the funniest writers and had the grande distinction of being Lester Bangs’ (pbuh)home base. They were the antidote to Rolling Stone’s smug, self-righteous, pseudo-intellectual LeftThink (which always just killed me – If there’s ANYTHING in this world that absolutely SHOULDN’t be intellectualized, it’s rock music!). I also loved Trouser Press; they were humorless, but delivered the goods in so many other ways.
My experiences with Nat Lamp is similar to yours. I first picked up an issue at the Arcade News newsstand in Charleston back when I was a young teen, primarily for the Vaughn Bode Cheech Wizard strip in the back, and became mildly obsessed with it. I quickly gained the impression that Lampoon’s humor was of a more sophisticated variety, which demonstrates just how far my head was up my ass during those years, but after a few months of reading stuff from the great P.J. O’Rourke and really great art from comic stalwarts like Ralph Reese, Neal Adams and Russ Heath, I was sure I’d stumbled upon some little piece of forbidden-teen heaven. I showed my copies to all my friends, but they couldn’t have cared less. I eventually subscribed and read it up through my adult years until its last gasp; the really crappy final years of a once great publication.
I trim, I am not ashamed to say so, my GF prefers less shrubbery when, ahh, down there, but always did trim.
Mr Neutron says
And let us not forget the *original* “Vacation” stories in NatLamp ; )
top 10 woot!
i used to trim my pubes but my hand sliped and i became a jew.
I got a snuggy years ago… only then they called it a robe
Shiny Rod says
Big Bear In OH says
Early morning update, I like it…
J Shifty says
I’d have to agree that any rankle this fine article caused was a result of an atrophied humor gland. Why just last night, it was Mrs. Shifty who told ME “Just tell us a joke, show us your bum and piss off.”
And no, there is no “tranquil arboretum in miniature” in my trouser press, baby.
For defunct magazines, I sometimes get nostalgic for Factsheet Five. I know the Internets have made such things obsolete, but in my high school mini-comic days, that magazine was my main confirmation that there were other nerds and goofballs hiding out all over the country. And of course No Depression folded earlier this year.
The Qweezy Mark says
Nothin’ wrong with the occassional trim down there. Just to keep it from bein’ scraggly. I’m sure all us guys don’t like it when we go down there wif our ladies and it’s like licking the top of Billy Preston’s (early ’70s) head. I tend not to style my do, though.
I too remember the “My Vagina” story. It was frightening because, in the mind of a teenager, it actually seemed possible. The details in the story about figuring out tampons and maxi-pads (the roots of PMS), trying to hide it from everyone (EPIC FAIL) and how it brought him closer to his buddies (in a manner of speaking) are classic. That story still sticks with me to this day.
Can’t say anything about manscaping
Susan in NWPA says
I agree with a trim and not a shave. Just take the beard trimmer and run it over the lawn. It just looks silly if you shave, especially if you have a happy trail or other hair in the general vicinity that dead-ends. I say if you shave, you better shave it all or you’ll look like the 40 year old virgin…only lower.
“I think both ends of the spectrum have been stretched so far at this point, they’ve wrapped around and the two camps are now side by side.”
So true- the far right libertarian and the far left radical have always been close enough to hold hands.
I would not shave my pubes because I am a grown-ass man who knows better.
I was a hardcore MAD reader back in the day.
The blog you are talking about has to be MeFi, the description fits it to a tee
Mrs. Wally says
I was not offended at all by that article and actually laughed out loud at my desk. I am all for cleanliness, but marrying a manly man, I think it would be very unsettling to see a trimmed area around Wally’s package. Susan, I agree with the shaving aspect but when did all of this metro-sexual nonsense start? And why?
Lew in Bama says
I did not find the article offensive in one bit, rather quite hilarious….and the comments below it were even funnier.
As a woman, I can say a full on caveman bush is quite a turnoff. Who wants to stick their face in that? If you expect me to keep mine neat, I expect the same from you.
Just a little trimming is sufficient. And it DOES make it look bigger.
I’ve never felt the need to trim my bush. It’s blonde, I don’t grow a lot of hair (even on my chest) naturally.
There was this magazine called “The Oxford American” and I think it’s been defunct for about 5 years now. They had the greatest articles, very weird.
Top 100 !!!!!!! Fuckin’ A baby…..
“To trim or not to trim”, that is the question……
I was at my brother’s house and the president of his company and his mistress were over when in a drunken moment of stupidity my brother launched into a dialogue about how shaving his balls made his tool look bigger.
I just drank my beer and smiled.
Boy Howdy, I miss Creem! Never missed an issue – even had a t-shirt.
I had a big box of MADs and Nat Lamps from the late 60s/early 70s at my parent’s house. MY MOTHER THREW THEM AWAY. If my father were still alive that wouldn’t have happened, but I digress.
I almost spit out my coffee when you mentioned “My Vagina”. Haven’t thought of that in years. We have the same taste in mags, Jeff (except for that Baseball Card one, of course).
My waxer does Manzilians – Brazilians on men. A LOT of them. Mr. Knucklehead manscapes, but not to that degree.
OMG, I just clicked on the “My Vagina” link and it has the original artwork from the article! Wow – what a flashback!
Oh yeah, I forgot,
Happy Thursday, Surfers! It’s the Knucklehead’s anniversary today!
In my opinion Rolling Stone has been defunct for about 30 years. There used to be another mag called Circus that was a good rock mag that went belly up.
Happy anni, knucklehead.
Sportzbelle stold my line. Robe, indeed!
Manscaping ONLY works if you’re a guy with certain limits as to where the hair grows. If not, then you’d have to ‘scape belly, chest, back, and ass, which would take a lot of time that could be spent doing other much more fun things.
As a child of the 70’s and 80’s, I’m well used to untrimmed pubes on guys. Plus which, a good long pube can double up as dental floss.
I read this colum today and shake my head in absolute disbelief that:
1. Jeff Kay is a NATIVE of West Virginia
2. Jeff Kay didn’t have his ass kicked with the regularity of bran muffin bowel movements as a teenager.
3. Jeff Kay EVER kissed a girl
Just an observation.
OMG – I just read the vagina story. Incredible! The last line was so weirdly perfect.
UUUUhhhhhhhh………….KNUCKLEHEAD!!!! Please remember which member of your family ALSO resides here at the Surf Report. I would appreciate some sympathetic editing while sharing your ‘comments’. There is NO NEED for me to know about Mr. Knucklehead’s hygiene practices. I just choked up my breakfast!!!
Being in my 20’s and still dating and all that I’ve learned that a certain amount of “manscaping” is necessary. Apparently girls around my age have been shaving/waxing/trimming their whole lives and they’ve finally gotten angry about us guys who have stuck with the 70’s porno look. Yepp, that shit don’t fly anymore.
Drew – I think you’re right that girls today have been shaving/waxing/trimming their whole lives. I heard my cousin (17 years old) talking with some of her friends about another girl they saw in the locker room. They said she had a “Sascrotch”. That’s right, a Sascrotch. And I’m sure she was shunned for it.
Sascrotches aren’t good, but I’m not a big fan of the completely bald look on women either. That’s just me.
OH! And the magazine that I mentioned earlier, the one that’s been defunct for 5 years, must have got back on their feet. I found their website. What a joy!
Creem actually started in the late 60s. Issues of Trouser Press go for a lot of money these days, or did, last time I looked. Do you have the issue with the Jimmy Page interview?
I think it is quite common for the younger generation to remove all of the hair on their bodies – or so I have heard. As I recall, when I was younger, it was a sign of being a man to have chest hair, now I guess it is not.
other kristin says
I’m just not brave enough to click on that link while at work. I’ll have to come back later.
Buck………. Bubba ya hit the nail on the head !!!!!!!
Ok, I do not have a problem with manscaping BUT when I had the husband fixed he was required to shave the boys. He was outta commission for about a week, just enough time for the scratchy shit to get sharp. Needless to say I am completely against the “shave it all” school of thought. A naked willy is a sad sad thing. As Rodney Carrington said it looks like a sea creature without its shell. Oddly frightening.
SC Scott says
I’m all for trimming, but not shaving, that is just freakin gay. But if I expect my lady to trim then I should do the same.
I believe the Dr. Evil once described having a shorn scrotum as breathtaking and recommeded all men try it.
I wouldn’t know.
Here’s and experiment to try at home. Ask your wife(girlfriend) which she would rather put in her mouth, a nice shiny clean billiard ball, or a sweat soaked brillo pad?
Her answer will solve “to shave or not to shave” dilemma.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…………………..
Back on line here at work after 2 and half days of no internets due to cable being out caused by Sunday’s hellacious windstorm and Tuesday morning power surge.
Did anyone remember to clip their toenails in a restaurant today? I did.
Pube trimming? I just did Friday morning… I know, I know TMI TYVM
Shiny Rod says
I don’t know about you folks but I favor the “brazilian look”. Clean enough to eat off of so to speak.
Shiny Rod says
@ KYDave – or try a Lab chewed tennis ball.
Shiny Rod says
This whole business of male pub-trimming is scaring me. I don’t think I could even get a cutting device any where near that area without my testicles packing up and taking refuge eslewhere. They practically went crazy when someone mentioned vasectomy one day in the breakroom. They jumped out, pulled out a glock and pistol whipped the guy for even speaking about it.
Shiny Rod says
BTW, remember the NL issue that had a picture of a dog and a hand holding a gun to the dogs head with the caption “If you don’t buy this magazine, we’ll kill this dog”.
PETA would have gone ballistic today. Does kinda look like Andy though. Jeff?
Evil Twin's Wife says
I go full bald eagle for myself. My preference and the Evil Twin likes it too. He keeps things “tidy”, which I appreciate. He’s one hairy dude.
Happy Anniversary Knuckleheads!!!
Willie Williams says
My family genetics having skipped the whole missing link senario causes me to have much, much body hair. Every seen the Geico caveman tennis commercial? The wife said it looks like me when i wear shorts.
Trimming is a MUST down there if I expect any head. use the beard trimmer with the large attachment and go at it like I’m cutting the lawn.
I would never do the shave. My boys like having a windbreaker.
OMG I read My Vagina at my parents friend’s house in 1978. Ever since I wondered if I imagined it.
I still read Mad.
NatLamp of course. The issue that Shiny Rod linked to was the first one I bought; I think it was at A&S or possibly Korvettes. On the strength of that issue I subscribed for years afterwards. I also miss Brewing Techniques magazine. Their website is still up, with hot news from 2004.
I completely agree about both sides being judgemental and inflexible – I thought I was a liberal until I started teaching at a university. Sheesh. Extremists scare me.
I thought the article was funny (shrugs.)
I laughed hard at that article and the uptight comments at the end (although I wanted to slap those people). You’re right, Jeff, those people have a stick so far up their tuchases that it’s amazing they can sit down ever.
I have a friend who used to make her then-boyfriend trim his underarm hair…not sure about the manscape, but I have to say that if the guy expects the woman to take scissors or razor to delicate areas, it’s only fair if he also obliges.