I’m intrigued by the Amazon Kindle; I can feel the beginnings of an obsession taking hold. But since it’s my style to be roughly five years late on such things, it’s likely that I won’t buy one until midway through 2012.
The new model (the Kindle Husky?) was just released, but I don’t really like the looks of it. I think I prefer the book-sized version, over the big honkin’ magazine style. So maybe the new one will take off, and they’ll drop the price on the old one? We’ll see. Oh, we will see.
Do any of you actually own a Kindle? If so, we need your review. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
I finally sent Burn After Reading back to Netflix, unwatched after a month and a half, and plan to start watching King of the Hill from the beginning.
I saw the first season when it was on TV, and probably part of season two, but got sidetracked fairly early. I love the show, though, and really like the idea of watching them all in order.
And hopefully this strategy will also help save Netflix for me. I don’t want to cancel my subscription, but it’s getting to the point where I’m paying money for nuthin’. Ya know?
On Saturday the oldest Secret and I mowed and whacked our lawn into submission, and left it a beautiful thing, indeed. But now dandelions are starting to pop up, and I’m not a fan of it. They’re like zits on the face of a Burger King cashier.
So, over the coming weekend I think I’m going to saturate our grass with a potent cocktail of chemicals and poisons. In fact, do they sell Agent Orange at Lowe’s? As soon as I finish with this update, I’m going to call and ask. ‘Cause something’s gotta be done.
You know, since we’re talking about Hank Hill…
A few days ago I was at the beer store (I can make this statement at any time), and there were two deeply-tanned toe-ring twentysomething hussies in there, probably shopping for some kind of boolshit Seagram’s Coolers, or whatever.
The Yuengling Lager was on the very bottom shelf, so I had to bend over to get it. And when I did, I could feel a distinct breeze passing over the great divide.
Alarmed, I snatched the case of beer, returned to an upright position, and yanked my shorts up. But it was too late… The two girls were standing right there (needless to say), and had seen everything. They’d witnessed, up-close, a foot of crack explode from the rear of my pants.
Yeah, and they were still snickering as I drove away. Hell, for all I know they might’ve also snapped a cell phone picture, and sent it to the entire hussie network. Simply excellent.
I need a haircut again, and was complaining about it to Toney yesterday. “Why don’t you go over to Hags ‘n’ Fags on Saturday, and let them take care of it?”
Hags ‘n’ Fags?! It’s great when little things happen, and you realize you’re with the exact right person. Know what I mean?
And speaking of Toney, she went for a walk a few days ago and got herself tangled-up in a lengthy conversation with a crazy (my opinion) woman who lives in the next block.
Toney barely knows this person, but she was pontificating at length about her teenage daughter’s emotional problems. She said she’s been seeing a psychiatrist since she was fourteen, or whatever, and “just doesn’t know where she fits in.”
Who goes around telling almost-strangers personal shit like that? Especially about their kids? No good.
However, I’ve seen the girl in question, and believe I can offer some assistance. It’s very simple really. Just keep checking the Indigo Girls website, and the next time they tour take the young lady to one of their concerts. And the mystery will be solved; she’ll know exactly where she fits in.
Thank you. Please pay my assistant two hundred dollars.
And I’m going to leave you now with the Question of the Day… I’d like to know what things you can’t stand smelling, that most people believe smell good? Did I describe that correctly?
For me, it’s freshly mowed grass. Everybody says they like the smell, and I don’t understand it. It conjures horrible memories of mowing my grandmother’s lawn when I was twelve, slick with sweat and breaded with sand and gnats.
Another, of course, is garlic. Whenever we walk into a restaurant and the stench of garlic slugs me full in the gut, Toney says, “Mmmm… that smells good!” Wha’? How?? How could that possibly be listed under the heading of “good?”
And we can do it around the other way, as well. What things do most people say stink to high heaven, but you don’t really mind?
I’ve mentioned skunk before. When we’re driving somewhere, and pass through a skunk cloud, everyone starts hollering and breathing through their shirts. But I kinda like it. It’s not bad at all… Sometimes I adjust the air vent, so I get a little extra.
So, there ya go. Use the comments link below, to bring us up to date on this important issue.
And that’ll do it for today, my friends.
I apologize in advance, but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update again. It’s going to be a challenge for the next few days. Sorry, but it can’t be avoided. Only temporary, though… By the end of the work week, everything will have returned to “normal.”
So, see ya next time. Have a great day!
@ Brynhildr – Ich habe zum Ziel zu erfreuen. Jetzt über diejenigen… Ich bin überrascht, dass Jason auf dem Band-Wagen nicht gesprungen ist. Danke mein liebes, Sie haben meinen Tag gemacht. Ich genieße den Geruch einer echten Frau. Ich hasse es, wenn sie es mit dem Überwältigen von Parfümen maskieren. Gerade ist ein Hinweis erforderlich. Würde Sie, einen anderen schnitzengruben mögen?
Shiny Rod,
Ich spreche nur ein klein wenig Deutsch.
But it’s enough to know what’s going on. Jump on the band wagon, puh-lease. I have been reformed, don’t you know?
@ Jason – Sie müssen in Ihrem Ihrem Deutsch glänzend werden. Reformiert, und wie nehmen Sie an, dass ich das glaube? Lassen Sie gerade Frau Brandy auf die Beine bringen, und wir werden sehen.
Dieser Platz geht an die Hunde, wenn Jeff verschwindet für ein paar Tage.
Google has so many cool features…LOL
@ Jason – and watch your verbs too! “one small little german”
Oh yes, Brandy. (sigh) Got me.
Quatsch.
@ WB in OH – Beugen Sie wow mein Freund! Aber die kühlste Eigenschaft ist im Stande, German zu sprechen, ohne eine Übersetzung zu verwenden. Besonders, da ich Deutsch in der Universität nahm. Aber ich muss wirklich den doppelten s und andere spezielle Charaktere übersetzen, so nimmt es mich, findet eine Weile den richtigen Schlüsselcode auf der Tastatur.
@ Dogberryjr – Everyones ein Kritiker!!!
hee hee hee – you said “Schnitzengruben.”
Sorry Garrett, I’ll go take a cold shower and put you out of your misery.
Das wird schlecht wirklich, wenn wir sprechendes Deutsch aufsuchen müssen. Sie haben darüber WB in OH recht. Jeff, bekommen Sie Sie Esel im Zahnrad-Mann und bekommen Sie uns eine Aktualisierung!!!
@ Brynhildr – Thank you my dear, I just had to throw that one in there for Garrett.
@ Shiny Rod,
My grandparents spoke “low” german all the time but I was to young to ever catch on. My dad still speaks some with the other old timers but I’m sure most of it is just nonsense since it’s been about four generations diluted.
I had a good Professor in college, he gave his lectures in German so if you didn’t pay attention, you would not pass. Once you learn the verbs, the nouns are easy. I have to translate sometimes to get the right spelling though. I have a good grasp but I still get stumped sometimes when using the special characters. To speak it cleanly is a breeze, it’s those dialects that always get me. There are a lot of slang words and bad diction but I guess thats with most foreign langauges.
@ Shiny Rod (you really should change that, it makes me feel gay to type it)
I can pretty much only get the gist of what you’re saying – I haven’t spoken the language since I was about 9, and then, it was just so I knew when my grandparents were talking about Christmas presents, and whatnot (sometimes they forgot I understood).
My grandfather was the second generation off the boat, and had to go overseas in WWII too. The other one was fighting the tojo’s, so it wasn’t a big deal for him.
I knew when i wrote it, everybody’d be confused – I usually use Shalom as a smart-assed closing. I this context, it probably wasn’t required. I am a typical catholic kraut….
I hope i responded correctly, and you weren’t in fact asking for the secret recipe for Bush’s baked beans or something… like I said, I’m rusty.
@ garrett – Shiny is a reference from the movie Fire Fly meaning happy, cheerful and Rod is short for my middle name. So a little play on words. My dad did both sides, soon as he finished his tour in Germany, he got shipped out to Korea. You can tell that since I have no dialect and do not use slang words, my German is from textbook learning. You responded correctly and yes, I already know the Bush beans recipe. Some lab told my chow/boxer mix (her picture is linked to my name) about a great bean recipe. She wasn’t putting out though.
Parlez-vous français?
Non!
I can’t let the Germans take over! 🙂
For years, I have been repulsed by the smell of Tom Bosley.
Well as my boring old uncle in Leipzig used to say: Im Himmel fehlen alle interessanten Leute.
God he was dull!
O.K. I’ll bite! What does Tom Bosley smell like?
Since nobody else had brought it up… Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist von den Aalen voll.
Just saying.
Brylcreem and Ben-Gay? Or perhaps just the cheap plastic, potentially toxic junk he’s peddling these days?
@Chill – your hovercraft is full of eels? Wha…? (scratching head)
Yes, coherency is indeed for suckers!
Ich habe die Übersetzung dieser deutschen Dialog aller Fricken Tag und euch beginnen, um mich mit den Nüssen zu übersetzen. Eigentlich, haben Spaß mit ihr Jungs!
@Bill in PA – German is my first language (Mom was still a little fresh off the boat – literally – when I was a baby so I learned that first) and I’m having a hell of a time following some of the conversation. It’s a good test of my deciphering skills, though.
One of the funniest translation atrocities ever can be found here:
http://www.engrish.com/2009/05/wait-impatiently-for-woman/
@ Bill in PA – Why Bill, I’m flattered but my nuts are not available.
@ pagan – that depends on what you call heaven and who you think made it there.
@Brynhildr – It’s an old Monty Python bit, about a deliberately-wrong phrase book. Google the phrase (in English) for details.
German is my zeroth language, i.e. I don’t speak it at all. When I had to go to Germany on short notice, about the only things I was able to learn before going were “noch ein Bier, bitte” and “wo ist die Toilette?” After I ordered a beer, a waiter thought I spoke German and started rattling off today’s specials, or whatever, and at that point I had to admit I was busted.
Engrish.com rules! Check out the “amusing duck” from yesterday.
O.K. Surf reporters, stand up,raise your right arm and repeat after me in a very loud voice: Ich bin ein Mitglied des West- Virginiabrandungreports! Seig Heil!!!
Seig Heil!!!
Actually the vowels are backwords, it should be:
Sieg Heil!!!
I am Brit and I’m drunk! what the hell do I know?
Sorry I am a Brit & I’m drunk! etc etc:)
Well, since we’re posting pics of our dogs now, here’s *my* Andy:
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd99/g1g3m/Andy001.jpg
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd99/g1g3m/Andy002.jpg
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd99/g1g3m/Andy003.jpg
…and when I named him, I honestly didn’t even connect the name to Jeff’s Blacklips Houlihan at the time.
He even likes spaghetti and chases the mail truck.
One brown and one blue eye, and yes, his ears are like that all the time. My Andy is the Woody Harrelson of dogs (I caught him rolling a spliff the other day).
What is this “Your comment is awaiting moderation.” bullshit? I’m subscribed to this thread!
Back to smells – Anyone still living in Das Motherland (West-By-God Virginia) know a little town by the name of Anmore, right outside Clarksburg on I-79? The town had its’ own genuine funk and all the people who lived in it carried it. The whole town was nothing but a Carbon factory, literally, and the scent would carry for miles. Of course, this was back in its’ heyday of the 60s – 80s. With the layoffs and shutdowns it can’t crank up the stink like the old days, but not to the same level. Anyway, it stunk while I was there, but to smell it now would remind me of growing up near there (Bridgeport).
@ Drug Delivery Guy – Nothing compared to the funk that occassionally waiffed it’s way across the Delaware from Bristol, PA to my home town of Burlington, NJ. The funk was so bad, it was setting off ordinance at the amuunition plant on the other side of the river. Either that or the plant workers where dropping the bombs to cover their noses. On those cool nights when we could sleep with the windows open, the sulfur dioxide smell would tiptoe in and cause all sorts of late night havoc.
@ garrett – You have a good looking pup…
I think until Jeff updates, everyone should post pictures of their dogs!
I bid $200 on the giant corndog, but the talkin goat is giving me terrible nightmares.
I don’t have a dog, so here’s a picture of my penis with a leash around its neck:
You know, coherency really is for suckers. Coherency got me into a 10:00AM sales appt. tomorrow morning (Saturday) 1 1/2 hrs. away and I’m effed up on Beam, The Golden Elixer, Stella and unmentionables Friday night, Joe T. should come along for a ROAD TRIP! Maybe I’ll stop @ the Crayola Crayon Factory and be all kinds of acerbic with the guide.
I forgot, Joe T. is probably running around yelling at a contractor, his kids, and his wife while “whipping his hands through his hair” and grabbing his Powerball ticket like it was his ticket to see Jesus have a naked pillowfight with Tyson @ the DQ in Pottstown.
Can’t stand the smell of celery being sauteed. And wet dogs are about the worst. Love the smell of garages, libraries, diesel and gasoline, and the pages of a freshly printed paperback.
totally unrelated.
I downloaded butch walker as i was persuaded to do. I really like it so i looked him up on wikipedia. i think i met him in atlanta back in ’98. he was dating a friend of a friend.
weird.
go reds
Bowm-chicka-bow-bowm.
Sauteed celery?????? WTF? Do you do radishes and lettuce too?
@ Garrett – Yes, I sautee celery before adding it to my Jambalaya mess. It stinks when being sauteed! No I haven’t tried radishes and lettuce yet : ). But that brings up a memory or having to eat fresh radishes from my father’s garden at suppertime … yuuuuk.